SOUNDS OF PRAYER.

⸻ WARNING: This is a 21+ independent, mutuals only, Natsuki Subaru blog for Tappei Nagatsuki ‘Re: Zero’. There will be mature themes (all tagged with tw). If that is not for you, I suggest you unfollow. Most of my portrayal is anime related, deviating slightly with headcanons and interpretations of alternative IF web novels. Knowledge of Re: Zero is not needed, I usually try and acclimate to different worlds anyway as he is pretty flexible.

BEHOLD AN UNAVOIDABLE INQUIRY: @fallesto [INSTRUCTING] The sender guides the receiver to touch themself slowly and deliberately.

You don't strike me as the type, but even you could do something this simple for your husband?

Subaru resents him when the words leaves his lips, and continues to fixated on them. Not the conceded infliction behind them but the way they move. How red they are when he plants a kiss on hers and leans back far enough to have the perfect view between her legs. She shuffles her feet near his thighs, covering the one part of her that this farce of a marriage doesn't even—even warrant. More than twenty women willing and he chooses the one adamant on killing him to even suggest such a thing. But then... can she really say this when it's already happening. In the room where the wind glides over the windowsill and over her thighs. Remnants of water she hadn't been able to wipe down with the towel and more droplets trail down her skin from her hair.

The challandaier above shines so brightly in the light illuminated through the windows of the hall. Her tongue feels heavy, like it could fall through her body and into the ground below. "I haven't," Subaru lies. It comes out harsh, but that's how it is. She can't talk about the witches of sin, not with Regulus. Maybe the others, which have no baring, no impression on her aside from a mild interest and quiet awe that they exist to begin with. If he broached the topic of—of that fucking—no. She starts rambling, skin alight with the threat of revealing too much and not knowing enough to lead him away. Regulus is awful but he's perspective when he wants to be, that much is clear. "I haven't met any of them, aren't they dead? How would I meet a corpse? It's dead! For hundreds of years right?"

"How did you learn to kiss like that?" Subaru asks, pouting. A giddiness sets in his shoulders, pressing their foreheads together to pause, just until his breathing steadies. Reinhard's lips are softer than he imagined. He purposefully steers the conversation, content to take about mundane things, normalcy for once in the chaos of this world. It's the best thing to do and it's what he's good at, a part of him hopes they never have to stop kissing despite how strained he looked when Subaru mentioned their friendship. With any luck he they may not remain that way, no matter how much the situation goes awry, if things turn sour Subaru will add his own bit of sweetness until it's back to normal and even better than that!

Hundreds of thousands of millions of loops. Subaru doesn't want to do it. He doesn't want the pain and terror than comes with no knowing where the next strike will come, it sucks. Whether he has to face the reality of the another person he trusts making terrible decisions or even his own choices landing him in a field of snow and rabbits again, if he can help it he'd choose the easier option flat out. He also understands that most resolutions in life, especially of this magnitude come with an intense compromise. I give you this, you give me that. If Reinhard promises to find another solution, Subaru will swear to take it more seriously. To help find a way for Reinhard to live peacefully with Divine Protections, not cursed to be beholden to them.

"Friendship isn't a luxury! It's between two people who want to support each other, who want to be close together. You don't need anything fancy, or, or some big show of it." Subaru's hands run through his hair, ruffling the strands that were already slicked back from that morning. He reminds hearing Reinhard was coming and immediately panicked at the thought of being seen in his normal bedhead and unwashed tracksuit. The same hands reach out to grab Reinhard's face, squishy his cheeks between them to hold his gaze steady. Like the stars in the night sky, the dim light flickers in a sea of blue and Subaru's almost powerless to stop himself. Almost. He can feel goosebumps on his arm and at his neck. Why am I so nervous? He yanks the man forward, noses almost touching as he speaks.

"If you know about it then why haven't you said anything? You were gonna pal around with me until the inevitable? If you've seen me die then you know it doesn't bother me—being your friend, it doesn't bother me at all." Subaru lets the words hang in the air, afraid that if he moves he'll do something impossibly stupid like kiss him.

Maybe it's none of the things culminating into this encounter that makes Subaru follow through. He surges forward the last few inches of space between their lips and takes. A pinch of regret for having his first kiss with someone he's not certain has these feelings but it's better to do it now than regret not doing so later. Should they become the sort of enemies to maim and kill each other, then Subaru will take his moment to truly enjoy they have. The sword, long forgotten by him, still serves as a reminder of this conversation—of their fated duel, as Reinhard may put it. But it's okay, Subaru thinks, even if he thinks that's how it ends, the guy's so sincere.

BEHOLD AN UNAVOIDABLE INQUIRY: @fallesto Would you still love me, if I were a pig? (dinner date gone wrong: Regulus)

Subaru nearly chokes on her vegetables, forcing the unchewed bite down her throat upon hearing his question. Her fork, the one that fell from her hand and clattered to the ground was immediately scoped up by one of the other wives who were on maid duty for dinner. She'd already undergone another redo from a (major) malfunction of the brain, caused by his not so helpful advice regarding earth dragon riding. She didn't think another show of his strength was necessary. But he makes it difficult to take him seriously sometimes and this is the price she has to pay as his wife, she thinks. How anyone could manage this willing she has no clue. It's not a terrible question all things considered. In her world they're so innocuous, Subaru would have jumped at the opportunity to do the same with Reinhard or Emilia but couldn't of course because of her station next to her husband, reluctant on her end as it may be.

"I don't know," Subaru answers wavering. Pigs are disgusting and filthy, at the first thought it's normal to say absolutely not. At a second glance, some are cute. The ones you can keep as pets are especially so until they get bigger and cause enough trouble. She thinks Regulus might have been the same way—a younger, more innocent little boy who hadn't undergone the sort of trials that make whoever she's cowering under. Who's giving her the most undiscernible expression. She thought everything was perfect, right up to this where he asks her an impossible question. The candlelight is nice, the food is even better, her clothes make her look more mature but not enough to make her lose that cute charm of a young wife. Even her demeanor was warming up to the man enough that maybe after... she was hoping for something more, possibly? Whatever mixed feelings were now leaning to the far side of god no.

No, if Reinhard is here they definitely do. "If we have to make them, how can they be impossible?" It slips from his lips without his say so, but the hands that were around him were now in fists, knuckles grazing over the wooden box while he fidgets. The thought crosses his mind randomly, that he's never seen Reinhard outside of his uniform. What would he wear? Subaru can see him in something flashy, but he could also see something woefully plain. Does that even matter if what Reinhard says is true? He looks down to the sword and wonders if there are other ways to deal with this path to the inevitable. If he has to fight with Reinhard, then it's natural to assume one of them would... even Subaru can tell death for him in that battle would be permanent. He doesn't know how to follow up, so he remains honest. "I don't want to hurt you. If we have to fight—if it's my friend, I won't hurt them no matter what!"

BEHOLD AN UNAVOIDABLE INQUIRY: @fallesto Would you still love me, Would you still love me, Would you still love me? (Satella)

A frost coated his heart with every mutter from the woman. Her silver hair and purpled eyes made her nearly irresistible. After all most of her traits—the ones of that witch as well— were the same. They pulled him in and threatened to freeze him in an icy world, frozen and powerless to their respective vision. His type would kill him in this universe, Subaru thinks grimly, it wasn't so obvious in his own life back then where they amounted to nice collectibles on his dresser.

His fingers tap against the wooden table in the same sanctuary setting; the empty sky now eerie with the words lingering about. Suffocating. He could stop his leg from shaking, wondering just what picture the two made, sitting and drinking shoddily made tea while the two housed polar opposite feelings. He had to give her credit, it's almost endearing to see someone express their devotion in the face of an absolute rejection.

"The world can be a pain..." Subaru says, trailing off. "It's not really ideal for people like us." He chuckles, gesturing with his hands toward her work on is bandages. With a couple fingers, he glides over the linen, tapping at it in a way that suggest he's contemplating. For him that sentiment would be true if not for his year foray into knighthood and recent cowardice. "People like you," he corrected. How many times would he have to make a fool of himself? Would he have to endanger the people around him—the old world wasn't this... It didn't reveal these flaws as much. It might be a failing of course but when he had to deal with school and insecurities only... when the world seemed dimly lit, everything felt lighter.

Subaru fists the handle of the fork, glaring at him with the intent to stab the fork through his mouth. Of course it wouldn't work. Nothing has as of late, but she can only have the sweet moment of thinking it would. She removes the utensil instead, stabbing through the slice of cake and brings it to her own lips. All pretext of a shy wife gone, licking at the sweet, soft icing covered pastry as if it were a well deserved prize. Despite the entire event being more a sham, forced spectacle than a true union. He doesn't taste like anything—if he could over power the burst of sugar on her tongue, he'd be something god awful. That much ego and absolute madness would poison anyone; there has to be something on his person keeping him alive. It not going to be easy deducing what either when every attempt thus far ends so damn quickly.