see you later space cowboy...

“black cat crossing your path is bad luck” untrue actually!! it’s good luck because i get to see a kitty. hope this helps!

got fired from being the entertainer at a bachelor party for twisting the groom-to-be's dick into a poodle shape

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

trying to communicate ideas through language and it doesnt suffice so you turn to the abstract image and then people want to be talking to you about the images NO!!!!!! ! ! ! ! ! !

I just set up an emitter to produce healing frequencies that can travel across the entire website so we should all be feeling better soonnn

nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week

Happy 30-50 feral hogs day

World heritage post

This post is funny in retrospect because feral hogs are basically the only legitimate reason to own an assault rifle. It is the one and only real problem faced by anyone in the US that can be solved with a semi-automatic weapon that has more muzzle energy than a handgun. It’s just easy to ridicule because it sounds silly to the people who don’t live in areas with wild hogs (most of the country).

"It doesn't help your credibility to exaggerate, most employers wouldn't literally work you to death" like, I used to work in distribution. If booking a truck driver for back to back shifts until they fall asleep at the wheel, crash, and die counts as being worked to death, I have personally met employers who've worked employees to death and gotten away with a slap on the wrist. It may not be universal, but it's a hell of a lot more common than a lot of us would prefer to think.

The FAA had to explicitly make rules about how long pilots have to have off between shifts, and how far away from their home you can pin their home airport, because it doesn't mean shit that someone has 10 hours between shifts if they have a 2 hour commute each way. They had to make these rules because multiple passenger airplanes crashed because the pilots were exhausted from tight scheduling. Employers won't just work you to death, they'll take a hundred random customers with you.