reticent

“i can’t wait.” he laughed along. riley stayed there, sitting in silence. and for a bit, he had forgotten about rosie who was sitting alone in the kitchen - probably making a mess out of it- until ruby had mentioned her. “uh, right after dinner. which is now.” he gently let go of her and got up. “c’mon.” riley nodded at her, moving to the kitchen where rosie had indeed made a mess.

riley smiled a little wider, glad to see her feeling a little better. “yeah.” he nodded, holding her close as she nuzzled closer to him. he thought he should stop being reserved around her at least for once, because he missed the way it felt to have her so close. “and just like i always tell you, never apologize for crying.”

“i don’t.” he confirmed, smiling softly at her when she looked at him. “i’m sure rosie will be happy too. she already talks about you sometimes.” he told her, trying to avoid the way he was feeling when she looked at him like that. he knew he still had feelings for her, they never faded, he just didn’t want to think about them now.

riley looked up once again just as ruby left and he instantly knew she wasn’t okay. he knew her all too well to know that she wasn’t just ‘going to the bathroom’, but on the verge of crying. riley couldn’t risk losing rosie again, so he went around the table and picked her up, “c’mon, baby. we’re going inside.” he said and took her to the kitchen inside where she could sit and continue to eat her food. riley then went to the stairs, about to go upstairs to the bathroom to find ruby when he found her sitting on the stairs instead. he sighed and sat next to her, hesitating for a moment before resting a hand on her shoulder. “hey, it’s okay.”

“good, because she’s always too excited to see you.” he chuckled. “oh. yeah, yeah i get what you mean. never been there, but i can picture it.” riley nodded, feeling bad for him. “we can spend the day together, if you want. rosie wanted to come to the beach again today, so here we are.” and just as he said that, the little pink haired girl came running, screaming ‘brosie’ before she attacked him with a hug, giggling.

riley had never told rosie anything about her mother. he’d only mentioned her when he showed her pictures, and just a while ago, rosie wasn’t able to make the connection. riley was in too much shock, he didn’t know what to say. “what’s wrong, appa?” the little girl asked, looking innocently confused. “how... w-why is she your mommy?” he asked, trying to sound calm. “because you told me she is! you showed me pictures, remember?” rosie responded as if it was the most obvious thing ever and riley could only put his fork down and rub his eyes beneath his glasses.

riley looked away almost instantly, not wanting the flustered expression on his face to be obvious and busied himself with his food instead. “is it because i have a little thing for pink?” he teased. it wasn’t a little thing; he literally had a pink tree in his garden and was wearing pink shoes. “i think you, mommy and i should all have pink hair. pink hair is magical!” rosie spoke excitedly and riley never got the chance to catch up on her sentence once he heard the word ‘mommy’. he quickly looked at ruby, eyes wide, then back at his daughter. “r-rosie... w-what do you mean? who’s... who’s mommy?” he asked timidly and rosie replied almost immediately, pointing at ruby, “she is!” 

riley stopped with his hand in min-air as he stared at her, then looked over at rosie who was too clueless to understand what ruby had said. of course, he’d want rosie to know who her mother is, but he didn’t want it to happen all of a sudden. he wanted her to slowly get used to ruby’s presence as if she never left. rosie looked up when she was talked to again, her mouth covered in spaghetti sauce, a grin on her face as she nodded, “appa... appa would be the prettiest with cotton candy hair.” she responded, making riley only laugh in response.

“i-i don’t know where to look, though.” he responded. “i’ve looked... everywhere. i don’t know where she could possibly be.”