if i look back, i am lost
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@resurrectedprince
Just because I hand out my compliments sparingly does not mean I haven’t known that all these years. How are they doing? I’m good. Busy with work, you know how it goes.
Damn right you did, girl. Who could deny these good looks, huh? You need to stop working so damn hard. But they're doing great, you know how it is, mom's favourite time of the year. I swear, I think Ellie is her real child.
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At this rate, we’ll never see our son. Although admittedly, the free babysitting is nice from time to time.
I tried to explain that to her, but she thinks that Ashton is going to magically become a teenager if she doesn't see him every 5 hours.
Long time no see, good lookin’. Where have you been keeping yourself?
You just called me good lookin', about damn time you recognized. I've been with the rents. How's my girl?
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There's my girl.
resurrectedprince liked your photoset
Hey, man. How’s it going?
You know a little this and that. Ellie's trying to convince me to get Blaise to let her babysit...again.
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Guess who's been a busy bee!
Certainly not you.
resurrectedprince liked your photo
Hey, Alex.
Okay, so before you say anything else, I need you to know that I love you. And I can't imagine how hard these past few months have been for you, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for all of it. For putting you through that pain, for not listening to Jackie, for breaking your heart, which is the last thing I would have ever wanted to do. And even if I didn't break it, I'm sure there was a small crack in there and I'm sorry. I wish I could take it all away, but I can't and I'm here now. I'm here to make up for all of that and to tell you how much I love you.
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Remembering.
Leaving the apartment that he shared with his dog Louis (yes named after Armstrong), he decided to go for a walk. They had always been the one thing that could help him clear his head and he figured it was the only solution at this point. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Alex made his way down the street, taking in the small details of life around him. Like the fact that the little girls eating Twizzlers and sour patch kids in front of him reminded him of Ellie and Jackie. Or the fact that the man running across the street with paint brushes in his hand made him think of Blaise. Oddly enough, he didn't think too much on these little facts that at this point, he shouldn't know. Little things about people that he once knew and the small details he had forgotten right along with them. However, like ticks and little things were coming back to him. And Alex almost wanted to stop and turn around before the thoughts became overbearing, but he couldn't. He continued walking, hoping that eventually it would come back to him.
Like the fact that the first time he had met Blaise he hadn't been particularly fond of her attitude. Or how Jackie had been the one he had cheated off of that first day in Psych class. But even as the good memories came, so did the bad. Like that fateful night of their graduation. The night that, even when he remembered everything about his life, he had tried so hard to forget. Just as his vision was starting to blur with a sadness and anger that he hadn't felt in years, Alex looked up and saw a purple lantern hanging in a store window. A lantern much like the ones that had been hanging in the park when...
And just like that, everything hit him like freight train going at top-speed. Everything from all the lives he had saved, to the first day he met Jackie and Blaise, to the last time he had kissed Anna, to the night he decided to leave without a word. Everything seemed to come back at once, along with the memories of the only woman he'd loved and probably ever would love aside from Anna. And the fact that all this time, she had been holding out and waiting for their love to save him while he didn't remember her. "Good going, Prince." He saidd under his breath in memory of the numerous times he had mentioned the ring on her finger. "Good going," he muttered again, taking off towards Ellie's apartment. Much like that night in the snow, so long ago.
[Nods] How are you doing with… well, everything, I guess? Aside from these dreams.
[Shrugs] I'm doing fine. And before you start thinking that I'm hiding something, just know that I'm not. I'm really doing fine.
[Blinks a few times, trying to keep her smile in place] Maybe there are. If being in love makes me a fool, frankly there’s nothing else I’d rather be.
Well then, good for you. At least you've found it.
[Glances down at her hand] Oh, um… Briefly. [Smiles up at him] There may be some hope.
Well, good for you. It seems only a fool would leave you. Then again, wise men also say that only fools rush into love. Perhaps there are two kinds.
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Of course. That must be it. You could write a book with that imagination, I’m sure. And not all memories have to come with pain or stress. Sometimes they’re good. [Smiles, tilting her head] I’ve heard that once or twice.
I'm sure you have, and it's still very true. [Nods at her hand] Have you heard from him yet?
Oh. That, um… No, it’s fine. I wasn’t thinking that. [Smiles slightly] And you keep having these?
[Shrugs] Yeah, but I'm sure they're just stupid things my brain is making up. I've been known to have a bit of imagination. But you know how someone would expect memories and things like that to bring them pain or stress? I don't have that. I always feel warm, like I know something good is happening, even though I have no idea what it is. [Laughs, rubbing the back of his neck] I've convinced myself that it's your smile that makes all of this seem more real. You just have an inviting face.
