Rest Easy

A sour smile appeared on his face. “Vault Hunters don’t seem to realize that the only real mechanics on this planet are Scooter and Ellie. They think our technicals can just be digistructed in the snap of a finger. So, five years back, with the whole… Hodunks and Zafords and Bloodshots business, most of what would become my cavalry was scrapped. Wouldn’t be a problem if Scooter would let me pay and negotiate, but he doesn’t sell to bandits.”

“We got a few technicals and maybe a dozen buzzards, but they’re so valuable that we don’t even ride them into battle. They’re for carrying equipment we need to move fast. Main form of transportation are the badass skags, but I won’t subject my sweet little Cujo to hauling around 700 pounds, plus the 85 you weigh. Seriously, you’re tiny. I could probably carry you on my shoulders.” Now that he looked at her, he was seriously considering picking her up and putting her on his shoulder. Would it look weird as fuck? Yeah. Would it make him feel a little better about weighing so much? Yes.

It’s muscle, D.C. MUSCLE.

Rolling his shoulders, he realized he was still holding her hand and gently let go. “If only we could get into Sawtooth Cauldron, we could pick up the few buzzards the Vault Hunters didn’t destroy. Or I could bargain with the Slab King.” He rubbed his neck. “But to get to them, I’d have to pass through the Highlands, which is mainly Zaford territory. Bandit politics and shit. It’s weird.” Sighing, he turned away to put his mask back on.

“Wasn’t aware. Not really a fan of the vehicles, here. I tried once or twice, but I usually wind up getting sick.” Rinnah grimaced at the thought, “Generally avoid’em if I can. There’ve been a couple people I could ride with, but everything here handles like shit.”

She perked up at the mention of skags, however, looking over quickly. “Used to ride all sorts of things back home. That never bothered me, even the flying creatures. Just can’t do Technicals…” Rinnah side-eyed him, “Seven hundred? You? And I’m one-twenty, not eighty-five. Short as hell, though, yeah.”

The young woman hadn’ even realized that her hand was still in his grip, though certainly noticed when the warm weight of his was no longer englufing her own. Rinnah didn’t know how to respond to his plans, and stayed quiet. Like she’d said before, she wasn’t really one to get too involved with other people’s problems.

He bit his bottom lip and looked down. What did she mean ‘involved’? Of course they’d be involved in some way. Personal quarters were personal for a reason. Shrugging off his confusion, he unclamped his shield and strapped it to his back before clipping the shotgun to his waist where a small waraxe rested as well. Usually he would be lugging his two-handed warhammer with him in addition to the shield on his back, but he hadn’t really expected any danger out here.

He offered a canteen and a hand to her to help her up. “Well, it’s almost 72:00. The sun should be goin’ down soon. Only 24 hours of night, but damn bullymongs will take any advantage they can get. We should get moving. Since you’re a freelancer, does that Scooter fella give you Catch-a-Rides? It’d be a damn slight faster than walking back to the Fast Travel.”

Her gaze followed his movements, noting the weapons that he had. It was impressive, somewhat. Not many people on Pandora would go for more melee weapons than guns. Didn’t make much sense, really. The closest Rinnah had, except for a knife, was the bayonet on her Tk’Kope Callipeen. She eyed the canteen a second, before taking it with a word of thanks. There was a quick sip before it was handed back, and just in time to catch his other hand for some assistance in getting up.

“Certainly not my favorite to deal with,” Rinnah said cooly, lip curling just a bit, “Prefer not having boulders and chunks of ice hurled at me if I can avoid it.”

She paused, momentarily confused by the question, before remembering that Scooter was particular about who got codes. This guy certainly wasn’t gonna make the list. Rinnah nodded.

“We got a few technicals and maybe a dozen buzzards, but they’re so valuable that we don’t even ride them into battle. They’re for carrying equipment we need to move fast. Main form of transportation are the badass skags, but I won’t subject my sweet little Cujo to hauling around 700 pounds, plus the 85 you weigh. Seriously, you’re tiny. I could probably carry you on my shoulders.” Now that he looked at her, he was seriously considering picking her up and putting her on his shoulder. Would it look weird as fuck? Yeah. Would it make him feel a little better about weighing so much? Yes.

It’s muscle, D.C. MUSCLE.

He went quiet for a moment before pulling his hood back up. The Kingpin couldn’t let someone see him so flustered. “Well, I mean…” He cleared his throat. “You’re a very pretty young lady, a-and I wouldn’t mind, but.. um..” He swallowed. “You hardly know anything about me. I wouldn’t force you into being my bride or anything…” Then he added something quietly under his breath.

“Unless you would want that…”

He coughed a little. “I-I meant… to show you’re my guest a-and my friend… that would also mean you’d have to sleep in my quarters.” He didn’t know the last time he’d had a relationship. He’d had plenty of flings with both men and women, but never full relationships.

“Of course, you could always go through initiation. Depending on your status before joining me, you’d be given holdings and a rank. Since you’ve evidently got the same skill level as a Vault Hunter, that would grant you the title of a Baroness, a Countess, a Duchess, or any nobility title you want.” He neglected to mention that, if she did get into a relationship with him, and if it was official, she would automatically be the Queen.

His sudden loss of composure hadn’t been expected. Rinnah remained quiet, however, listening as he tripped and stumbled over words. He mentioned her being a bride, admitted to being attracted to her (subtly, of course). She just sat there, not really knowing how to react, and honestly quite confused about the whole thing. No one had really ever shown interest in her, before, except for her services. Rinnah was almost confused.

His stuttering stopped, though his speech didn’t, and she looked up at him a bit distractedly, before actually starting to process through the things he said. Rinnah scratched her jaw, absentmindedly.

“Don’t need any title, don’t really want one.” Rinnah’s face was rather neutral, “i like keeping to myself, and keeping a low profile.” She paused before clearing her throat, “I mean, hanging around you won’t help that, but I prefer not getting too involved with groups. Never joined the Crimson Raiders, never joined a group of Vault Hunters.”

“I get you. No matter how hard you try, sometimes you just can’t expect other people to be good to you.” He sighed. “The only reason the rest of the Bandit Lords don’t fuck with me is cause I’ve been ‘round since they were in diapers. If they thought I was weak, all the politeness in the world wouldn’t stop them from tearing me apart like sharks out for blood.” He hummed. “But my guys are good people. Y’can at least turn to people like Keith, Gnat, and David. Uh… maybe less to Gnat, cause he’s still a psycho, but David and Keith are good people. Once you know your men and the people under your command… well, it’s hard to see ‘em turning on you.”

He cleared his throat. “If you’re worried ‘bout them hurting you, me being with you will take care of that problem. We just do somethin’, show ‘em you’re with me, and they won’t even blink in your direction.” He scratched his neck. “Only thing I could think of is walking in with you in my arms, but I don’t wanna embarass you.”

He seemed quite certain of himself, which she could agree with when it came to other Bandit Lords. However, she certainly couldn’t give his men the benefit of the doubt, and trust them completely. Rinnah didn’t say anything to the contrary, not wanting to upset or insult him. Hopefully, there was some sort of assurance that he would be able to provide. It’s not like he could vouch for her safety at all times, unless he were to —

Rinnah blinked at the first suggestion after the throat clearing, before her brows shot up at the last one. She almost laughed, honestly, but kept her composure. The small woman regarded him carefully for a moment or two, before tilting her head.

“Don’t know if embarrassing is the right word.” There was a shrug, “Not really worried about how people see me, that much, just worried about not dying. If you can guarantee that I won’t die in your camp, which I guess your constant supervision would do.”

A short silence hung between them, before Rinnah’s brows furrowed, and she looked up at him curiously. She thought back to his wording, and the statement of no one even looking in her direction.

“Unless you would want that...”

He coughed a little. “I-I meant... to show you’re my guest a-and my friend... that would also mean you’d have to sleep in my quarters.” He didn’t know the last time he’d had a relationship. He’d had plenty of flings with both men and women, but never full relationships.

“Now, I don’t want to seem like an old creep taking advantage of a pretty young lady, but if you really ain’t got any place to stay, you can stay with my boys in camp till you get the Fast Travel code. I used to work on the Sanctuary back when it was a mining ship, so I could probably crack the code by digging through my old stuff. Just don’t forget about us when you get there.” He hummed. “I feel a storm brewing ‘round Pandora. Mad Dog and Boomstick from The Fridge and The Blight went quiet, and I have a feeling we’ll all need to band together for once. Even those Zafords and Hodunks.” Even though he would’ve liked nothing more than to squash the Hodunks so he could spread his Rakk Ale business past the dust and into the Highlands.

“Hell… you’re right that shit can go South real quick.” He shrugged. “But I’ve learned to trust my gut. That’s why I lived to see 51. When the first Vault Hunters rolled around, I’d already been here 17 years. I stayed outta their way.” He spread his arms. “And look where peace has gotten me. Better than Sledge, Nine-Toes, Krom, the Flynts, Flanksteak, and Mortar. And guess which son of a bitch controls all their territory now?” He couldn’t help the guttural laugh that tore from his chest. “This guy right here.”

Rinnah eyed him, listening to the offer and running it through her head. Would be nice for a guaranteed place to stay, but she didn’t know how to feel about staying with a bunch of Bandits. After all, she hadn’t exactly been on good terms with any, and the thought of being surrounded by them was unnerving ro say the least.

“Don’t have anything against, you, and unless you try to take advantage, you won’t seem like you are, but I…well, I don’t know. Been shot at by quite a few Bandits, after all, and had to kill my fair share of them.” There was a setting of her jaw, “I don’t really like being around a bunch of people that I may or may not have shot at before. Don’t mean to doubt your authority, but…”

She shrugged before glancing at the landscape behind him, always wary of what might be creeping around. Her eyes flicked back quickly, then, as he spoke of his age. Fifty-one was a hell of an age to reach out here, especially if you spent less than half your life on Pandora. Rinnah noted the grey in his hair, and glanced towards his fabric swamped body, again, really wondering what might be beneath it.

“Shit, being able to survive is just about the best skill you can have. You gotta learn how to adapt to places like this. On a world like Pandora, looks are deceiving. It’s why I wear so much armor and padding; for protection, and to look squishy. People tend to underestimate you, and overestimate their own power. Usually they won’t take you seriously… though I’m sure you know all about that.”

The man pulled off his mask and pulled down his hood, revealing a surprisingly pretty face. He sighed as a hand ran through his long hair, gathering it up before tying it down in a ponytail.

“The Divide ain’t all bad. It’s just got its own crowd, with their own unique wants and needs. Lotta my boys are Hyperion refugees who were experimented on, in addition to all the DAHL convicts and Lance deserters… we’re all broken. The more land we control, and the more we work together, the best shot we have of pulling ourselves together. Never be the same again, but maybe we can be something greater.”

The man planted his shield firmly in the snow, making sure to activate the clamps at the bottom, before leaning back against it for support. “You just a freelancer? If you ain’t a Vault Hunter and you ain’t a Bandit? You got a place to stay?”

She hummed non-commitally, before raising a brow as he spoke of his clothing. Such an admittance piqued her curiosity, as she had believed him to be built like the average Nomade. Rinnah nodded slowly in agreement to his thoughts on making people underestimate you. She, herself, was really a shining example of such a thing.

“I’d say that I do.”

Rinnah’s brows furrowed as he moved a hand to his mask, and tugged it off along with the hood. They shot up a bit, then, though she managed to keep her jaw from dropping. Of all the things she might have expected. such a handsome face was not one of them. Rinnah was now beginning to wonder what else he was hiding.

She only half-listened to the start of his speal, still shocked by his appearance, though quickly refocused on him. He was idealistic, she’d give him that. Rinnah really had to wonder how much things would actually go to plan.

@tophats-tits-and-tipjars

Clarence Kim came from a long line of explorers and pioneers. For nearly a thousand years, the Kim clan had been trailblazers. It all began with a Korean immigrant in the land of America on Earth, all the way back in the late 1700s. Embarking with Lewis and Clark, the man had mapped the entirety of Louisiana before settling down in an area of the land to live a peaceful life.

To this day, the Kim family spanned in the tens of thousands, one of the strongest bloodlines in the human race.

But for every great inventor or scientist or pioneer from the family, there was always the black sheep. The criminal. Serial killer, mass murderer, terrorist.

Born to Joseph and Sadie Kim, Clarence was that black sheep.

Mister Torgue, a fellow Hephaestus native, and Vladimir Vladof, leader of the Vladof resistance, had inspired him to take the law into his own hands on Eden-5, and that had landed him on this shithole of a planet: Pandora.

It had been maybe 20 something years since DAHL had left him here, and he had made everything of it. Controlling almost all of Three Horns, the man had made a point to fight smart and pick his victims. The Vault Hunters were not his enemies, and as such he was able to operate efficiently by staying out of their way.

Then the Calypsos came, unifying almost every bandit clan and stealing territory out from under him. Half of his lieutenants had been killed, and the giant Nomad was only left with the Gnat the psycho, Roy the marauder, and the David the goliath. He still had a sizeable army, but not enough to take on the Calypsos alone.

She had eyes all over Pandora and had been following the dealings of this ‘Clarence’ for some time. He’d impressed her with how quickly he made Pandora bend to his favour.  Moxxi had sent men and women in after him, with the simple task of integrating with his clan and watching the way he worked from the inside.

It had been a bitter blow to lose them in the riot the brought the Calypso’s to power. They brought unity under one name at a terrible price, costing hundreds of lives in their search for the Vault. As such, Mox had lost track of the Nomad over the following months, virtually forgetting about him until Lilith stopped in with a story to tell. The man she described matched a forgotten face and all of a sudden, Moxxi’s data on Clarence started filling out again.

Years of tasting his own sample and made him almost immune to the effects of alcohol. And he hated it.

“... I remember sitting in the crowds of your Underdome. Mad Dog, Flanksteak, Mortar, and Boomstick were all next to me. Can’t tell ya how many hours we spent watching those Vault Hunters slaughter poor shmucks...” He let out a low chuckle which quickly turned into a cough. “Mm. And now look at us. Mad Dog and Boomstick are with the Calypsos, Flanksteak was killed trying to capture Roland, and Mortar turned into a traitor who sold vault hunters for money. I miss when we had integrity. Things were so much fucking simpler when we all hated Atlas.”

He narrowed his eyes. “But I got something those other fellas don’t. I’m the best god damned gunsmith and explosives expert in this galaxy, second only to Mister fucking Torgue... and I’m willing to work for free if it means getting my territory back.”

Clarence chuckled a little at her hesitation. “I’m a Bandit King. I run most of the operations in Three Horns, and I’m trying to get most of my fellas to learn how to be self sufficient. We brew ale, grow crops, and breed skags. Sanctuary was one of my biggest trading partners, ‘fore those Hodunk fuckers tried to monopolize rakk ale. We’re still tryna get that industry back up.”

He sighed softly. “The reason you’ve never hearda me before is because I don’t start shit with every person I see, and my boys know better than to shoot anyone on sight. I’m a vulture; absorbed Sledge and Nine-Toes’s clans, used that to absorb Krom and Flynt as well. Once the Bloodshots got wiped out, we took the dam and turned it into an agricultural powerhouse. It’s about time I turned my land into a Kingdom… one that doesn’t bow down to corporations.” Noticing her pistol, he chuckled and reached into his pocket, tossing her a couple of boxes of pistol ammo.

“I’m also a demolitions expert, a xenobiologist, and a damn good fighter.”

Rinnah was understandbly surprised by his statements. No bandit she’d ever known was actually interested in anything other then shooting and looting. And, of course, the thought of some Bandit King actually having them behave? That was hardly, believable, but she didn’t exactly know enough to dispute it. Was nice, though, to think that it could be true, especially if he didn’t have any trouble with Sanctuary.

She was confused when he threw something to her, but reflexively caught the boxes without hesitation. Rinnah stared at the ammo a moment, before stashing it away. She would’ve like to have gotten ammo for her other guns, too, but beggars couldn’t be choosers, after all. One hand came up to scratch at the back of her neck as she tried to come up with a response.

“Good at not dying, I guess. Not really educated, much…just taught to survive.’

The man pulled off his mask and pulled down his hood, revealing a surprisingly pretty face. He sighed as a hand ran through his long hair, gathering it up before tying it down in a ponytail.

“The Divide ain’t all bad. It’s just got its own crowd, with their own unique wants and needs. Lotta my boys are Hyperion refugees who were experimented on, in addition to all the DAHL convicts and Lance deserters... we’re all broken. The more land we control, and the more we work together, the best shot we have of pulling ourselves together. Never be the same again, but maybe we can be something greater.”

He looked down and sighed. He didn’t bother sitting down next to her. The weight would render him immobile, even with Pandora’s forgiving gravity.

“Mm. They picked me up on Eden-5, but I was born on Hephaestus.” He looked down at her. “You a Vault Hunter? That’s pretty nice.” He shifted his gun to his side so he could pull out his flask. “I try to keep my people away from Vault Hunters. I don’t fuck with them, they don’t fuck with me. Kept all the clans they defeated in check.”

“Name’s Kingpin, by the way. Pleased to meet you.”

She held her breath, wondering what was to happen, next, and swallowed thickly at the Nomad’s sigh. Things could go bad, quickly…but nothing seemed to happen. Rinnah was tense, to say the least, not knowing how to respond to him. Could be trying to trick her into admitting things, only to go after her. 

“Not a Vault Hunter, no….just someone trying not to die.” That much was the truth, at least. She did take on missions from Crimson Raiders to make money, but only because money was a non-negotiable need in order to survive Pandora.

“Rinnah,” she said carefully, “Pleased to not be shot.”

After a moment, she looked over her shoulder, eyeing the man warily. Typical Nomad, really, if a fair bit taller. There wasn’t exactly much to go on, since they didn’t exactly show a lot of skin. Rinnah side-eyed him.

He sighed softly. “The reason you’ve never hearda me before is because I don’t start shit with every person I see, and my boys know better than to shoot anyone on sight. I’m a vulture; absorbed Sledge and Nine-Toes’s clans, used that to absorb Krom and Flynt as well. Once the Bloodshots got wiped out, we took the dam and turned it into an agricultural powerhouse. It’s about time I turned my land into a Kingdom... one that doesn’t bow down to corporations.” Noticing her pistol, he chuckled and reached into his pocket, tossing her a couple of boxes of pistol ammo.

Territorial

@rinnahtheskinchanger

Daeshim Clarence Song-Kim was not known to be one to just sit while his Kingdom was working. As the Goliaths fed the Skags and tended to the fields, as the psychos battled each other in gladiator rings, and as the Marauders polished and rigged their weapons, the Crown Prince of Slaughter roamed his territory: all of Three Horns.

Preparation for war against the Children of the Vault was coming, but hopefully it would be far off. The giant Nomad had his metal shield chained to his back and his shotgun in his hands as he roamed Three Horns Divide. The Bullymongs left him alone for the most part, and he didn’t really notice much else till he got to where Sanctuary used to sit. Sitting at the edge of the crater was a tiny, white-haired woman. He almost mistook her for a Psycho Midget, which would have been unfortunate. She probably heard him from a mile away with his armor clinking and his shield rustling. All in all, the man weighed around 700 pounds; most of it was armor and muscle, and the rest was gear and padding. His footsteps made the ground beneath his feet rumble as he approached the smaller woman.

“A pretty sight, huh?” He mumbled. The entrance to the Caustic Caverns was just below them.

“I was brought to Pandora on the Sanctuary, back when it was a DAHL mining ship.”

Rinnah wasn’t quite as sure of what she was doing, quite honestly. There had been some complications while she was on a mission, and when she’d finally managed to get to the nearest Fast Travel, Sanctuary wasn’t an option. The young woman had decided to go on foot, hoping that the station had just been malfunctioning.

That didn’t seem to be the case, unfortunately.

Sanctuary was gone, and she had no clue where it was. The code was changed, and it seemed that her contacts weren’t responding…which usually meant they were dead. Rinnah sighed heavily, trying to come up with some sort of plan. She was deep in thought, which had her completely taken by surprise when someone walked up behind her. There wasn’t even a chance to pull a gun, but that wouldn’t have been smart, considering she was out of ammo except for her pistol…and the person behind her was wearing thick armor.

“Mm. They picked me up on Eden-5, but I was born on Hephaestus.” He looked down at her. “You a Vault Hunter? That’s pretty nice.” He shifted his gun to his side so he could pull out his flask. “I try to keep my people away from Vault Hunters. I don’t fuck with them, they don’t fuck with me. Kept all the clans they defeated in check.”

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