dimension 20: a court of fey & flowers.
the following prompts were taken from a court of fey & flowers, the fourteenth season of dimension 20, an actual play tabletop roleplaying web series, known for its cast of professional comedians & improv artists, with most of the campaigns taking place in a new setting each time. a court of fey & flowers was the fourteenth campaign of the series, based on the idea of a meeting of multiple fey courts at an event known as the bloom, in the style of a regency - era period drama. some prompts have been lightly edited for roleplaying suitability. please note โ these prompts may include mentions of violence, war, injuries, death, explicit drug use, sexual content, including innuendo, & other things some might find upsetting. feel free to change pronouns & prompts as you see fit !
โ this was a lot, & i regret it. โ
โ follow your heart, & make good choices, or at least, bad ones in private. โ
โ the flow of magic is natural here, & it waxes & wanes according to its own unknowable clock. โ
โ when magic surges here, the entire realm reacts in a riotous celebration of life. โ
โ [ name / title ], are you ill at ease ? โ
โ what, is this uncomfortable for you ? โ
โ if you all applaud for me, iโll stab you. โ
โ youโre not in charge of the court yet, & i am here specifically to keep an eye on you, & thatโs what i will do. โ
โ i know youโre excited to frolic in the flowers, but i would kindly remind you of who you represent. โ
โ the only thing that will be debased, [ name ], is your low expectations of me. โ
โ iโm going to go finish getting ready, & i suggest you do the same. โ
โ will you be bringing your beastie with you ? โ
โ i will make you proud, & you will see that i am the better child. โ
โ i will be your best [ boy / girl ], going forth. โ
โ well, when youโre friends with the people delivering invitations, things can get changed. โ
โ give me โtil the next moon. โ
โ no interlopers shall harm or besmirch any members of the court while they do their important work rumpusing ! โ
โ oh my god, iโm obsessed with these salt goblins. โ
โ oh, do we need to clap ? โ
โ are you prepared for your mission at the bloom ? โ
โ it is my fondest hope that i might die doing as you have ordered me to do. โ
โ know that i follow the code of goblin chivalry with every fibre of my being, & have dedicated myself to mischief, mayhem, sneakery, rumpus, & ruin. โ
โ with all my might, i shall not fail you in this endeavour. โ
โ a true goblin never does as they're told, never tells as they've done, & never follows a rule, least of all this one. โ
โ i wanted to do it, so it was right ! i do whatever i want ! i'm a goblin ! are you hurt ? โ
โ i will avenge your honour. โ
โ everything's exactly the way i would have it to be, & therefore, perfect. โ
โ everyone who was supposed to be here from every court worth knowing has arrived, except ... โ
โ there's no secrets between us. โ
โ your presence is requested on the northern lawns for a small gathering. โ
โ my schedule is quite busy, i'm packed, but i can't turn down an invitation, & a mysterious one at that, i'm intrigued. โ
โ i see that the decorations are splendid as ever. you have truly outdone yourself. โ
โ i'm not familiar with pants. โ
โ it has been some time, i believe, since last we beheld each other. โ
โ let us be clear ! ostrich chariot, pulled by doves. โ
โ i know it's a lot of doves, but it seems like it should be more doves, frankly. โ
โ now, i know that perhaps i have had in the past a reputation of being a rake & a scoundrel & a scamp & a rapscallion & โ โ
โ this year, i just wanted everyone to know that i have matured a bit, & i seek not just carnal pleasures, but a love match. โ
โ i mean, satisfying other people is my kink, as we all know. โ
โ [ name ], this is three a.m. behaviour ! โ
โ & you fell into your cups, & then fell into bed, & broke [ their / my ] heart. โ
โ hi, no thank you, i'm not trying to associate with you. โ
โ is this what you want ? is this good for you ? โ
โ i can't be seen with you. โ
โ this is really hard for me because i fucking love a duel, but i'm turning over a new feather. โ
โ both duelling & drunken duelling are off the table. โ
โ i do apologize for my behaviour. it was an emotional time for all, the undoing of ... what was to be an exciting bond, sent us all into a tizzy. โ
โ i can only ask that we set out on this new journey on a different foot than the last. โ
โ if i could open up my chest & show you my heart, i would. โ
โ that is the most complicated shit i can think of. [ name ], is it just me, or are we eating a lot of shit ? โ
โ i've seen your name in the papers recently. โ
โ now now, [ name ], that was in the past. we do not dwell on the past. this is a new bloom. let us start anew, please. โ
โ [ name ], you make me blush, which is difficult for my particular complexion. โ
โ anyhow, when i heard that you were arriving, or were to attend the bloom, i wanted to get you something particularly special to say, sort of, what's up ? โ
โ these will get you stoned as shit. โ
โ this must go differently. you understand that, right ? โ
โ do you know who you are ? because i think you constantly forget yourself around those cretins. โ
โ all of that has yielded all of this, & we cannot endure another season of your misdeeds. โ
โ if you're leaving it to me, i will be happy to make the match on your behalf. โ
โ it would be wonderful to experience you with half of a fucking idea for once. โ
โ i cannot wait to make the most fantastic match that will make you so proud. โ
โ if you return from the bloom without a partner of merit, or with any stain on your already sullied reputation, i will deal with you as i see fit. โ
โ that's what i get for getting caught fucking slippin'. โ
โ if anyone in this bloom believes that you will behave in your utmost best self, i'm willing to give as much gold as i possibly can to them. โ
โ now if you're able to make it through the entire occasion being on your best behaviour, finding a suitable match, you will be rewarded so greatly. โ
โ what is a coin to a fey ? โ
โ i've realized it would behoove me to inquire about the specifics of our glorious little wager. โ
โ i would never want you to think me ungrateful in forgetting to thank you for engaging me in this little game. โ
โ to demonstrate my growth before my many friends is the greatest gift of all. โ
โ you can think on that if you want. & if you choose to refuse a response, that's an option, but will come with a social price. โ
โ you're perfect & โ hey, you're perfect & beyond reproach. โ
โ what have we done ! [ name ], we are ruined ! โ
โ is your quill filled with blood ? โ
โ i wish for all manner of civility & of political union between our courts, even in the absence of such ties as there might exist elsewhere. โ
โ those are good reflexes for just a [ lady / gentleman / title ] of the court. โ
โ my dearest [ name ], it was so good to see you again after so many years. โ
โ [ name ], i require counsel. โ
โ also, do we stop calling them names now that theyโre hot as shit ? โ
โ to hold their eye is to hold the eye of all those who are attracted to them, so i don't think there's anything to be lost in engaging. โ
โ [ name ], time certainly has been kind to you, & i intend to do the same. โ
โ looking forward to trying those drugs you gave me. โ
โ [ name ], this is only a fantastic thing. the most eligible [ bachelor / bachelorette / title ] at the entire bloom is pursuing both of us. โ
โ do you believe it to be some sort of throuple theyโre attempting to engage us in ? or do you think theyโre attempting to pit us against one another ? โ
โ [ name ], i would never be pit against you. โ
โ oh, the games we are playing ! โ
โ this mature thing, i feel like iโm really growing into it. โ
โ [ name ], are you expecting someone ? โ
โ [ name ], did you get sexted ? โ
โ a rejection of their affection would not behoove us. โ
โ [ name ], what would i do without you ? โ
โ wow, a goblin's mouth is incredible. โ
โ thank you for doing the kindness of being seen walking arm in arm with one such as myself. โ
โ you're here. you were invited just like all of us, right ? โ
โ in order to be deemed of worth & value, it is necessary at times to walk a perilous path, & engage in actions that may result in failure. โ
โ i didn't know you can come uncourted, or not belonging to a court. โ
โ i said what the fuck i said. โ
โ are you trying to hide any part of this conversation ? 'cause there's people everywhere. โ
โ i mean, keep my name outta your mouth. โ
โ what a nightmare. incredible work. โ
โ what a cool thing they did, that's so awesome. i mean yes, it's great, but it's like, they talk about it a lot, like every day. โ
โ well, i mean only to say that your family is of great stature. โ
โ goblins live their entire lives trying to do something as nightmarish as bringing a wooden boy to life. โ
โ um, since we're getting to know each other, what would you say is the most nightmarish thing you've done ? โ
โ i will only say that occasionally, a person of low grace such as myself blunders into overly praising that which they have been taught to praise. โ
โ we're so focused on the fireworks & the prestige of everything that we forget where we belong, & that's with everybody else. โ
โ i am honoured by the trust & confidence you place in me. โ
โ i know it caused some great pain recently to some members of my court that certain judgments were made. โ
โ forgive my plodding, clumsy nature in these manners. i am a much better speaker with a blade than with words. โ
โ i suppose as well that it would be improper to ask for you to divulge any more of the workings of your own court than you already have. โ
โ it has often been said that you walk in circles of your own, & keep your own counsel. โ
โ well, it seems like both of you are having a great time. โ
โ i don't want to interrupt, but i already have, it seems. โ
โ you don't have a drink in your hand. are you okay ? โ
โ none can shake it like goblins. โ
โ hi, [ name. ] may we speak in private ? โ
โ are we going into that dark corner right there ? โ
โ i've been a huge fan of yours for a very long time. the last party you threw was just wow, incredible. โ
โ there was a moment where a watchful eye would have clocked we made eye contact that lasted a bit too long, wouldn't you say ? โ
โ you have very beautiful eyes. โ
โ i do think that i'm afraid that some people might be having thoughts about our relationship, seeing that we're both of the same court. โ
โ my dear [ name ], this must be the first bloom that you've ever attended. โ
โ everybody's so weird. โ
โ my dear, things like this aren't usually done this way. โ
โ i just feel like you're acting very strange. โ
โ the rules set in place for our wager were a bit vague, & i would like to sharpen the rules of this engagement. โ
โ i may steal you away at any time for tomorrow's event if it pleases you. โ
โ i want to remind you that fey contracts are binding. & the penalty for breaking such contracts is, well... โ
โ hold me back, hold me back, hold me back, hold me back ! โ
โ this is fucking duelling behaviour. โ
โ oh, that's kind of a power move, isn't it ? โ
โ they are violent about you interfering in their purpose here. โ
โ i can only debase myself for having overreached. โ
โ i am a โฆ big, dumb blockhead & my brain is full of rocks. โ
โ if you want to stab me, it would be an honour to shed blood as a show of my deep sorrow, shame, & embarrassment at my impropriety. โ
โ remember your place. โ
โ i shall endeavour to commit myself to greater humility. i shall not stray from my place again. โ
โ i'm just going to stab myself a little bit just to make sure we're all good. โ
โ i miss you dearly. the true price of every minute i am called away from you weighs on me. i will see you in my dreams. โ
โ my god, you're sending secret letters ? โ
โ how many of those do you have ? can i have one ? โ
โ nothing could be more this season than us clapping for a gift we do not understand. โ
โ oh, you received the curse ! โ
โ there was a small dish of macarons & some of the goblins pleasured themselves with it & now the macarons are ruined soโฆ โ
โ this was not meant for me ? โ
โ gosh, i wish we could take a couple shots & celebrate. โ
โ this is the perfect time for a bit of snuff. โ
โ nothing more terrifying than being at a party, & seeing the party planner running. โ
โ this is the event everyone in the bloom is talking about, so congratulations to you. โ
โ what would a worthy suitor be in your mind ? or is it a matter of there being love there ? โ
โ it is simply that love is a fickle thing. โ
โ i'm well - versed in passion, but the language of love is ... i'm still doing duolingo. โ
โ it seems to me that you have never been in love before. โ
โ i've never met such a foe ! ah ! โ
โ now, the other part of the wager, i'm afraid to say, is a bit of the dirty part. โ
โ well, as long as there are no witnesses, it never really happened, now did it ? โ
โ oh, come on. i'm not a stickler. i'm not a stick in the mud. โ
โ [ name ], i find myself growing quite admiring of you. โ
โ we have agreed on terms. the wager is set & the hunt is on. โ
โ i'm very excited to see what this bloom has in store for you. โ
โ these secrets are stressing me out, man. โ
โ i will do my best to elude you. โ
โ it's just, it's a new spell. i've never used it before. โ
โ the game is afoot. the excitement is on. i will emerge triumphant. โ
โ will you accompany me on this hunt ? โ
โ it seems like everyone else ran off with the exception of you & i. what say you & i team up ? โ
โ well, one man's trash is another man's shit - caked macaron. โ
โ am i supposed to do this ? is this cheating ? โ
โ no, i've screwed up. i made a mistake, i did a bad. โ
โ i can give you mud ! i have it in my pocket. โ
โ you're tall & strong &, um, i have a lot of duties. i mean, you could help. โ
โ now, i have an idea of what you're asking, but i want you to be very specific. what would you like me to do ? โ
โ please come down from the tree. i can't hear you. โ
โ it seems you just want to put mud on you. โ
โ in order to get a fey's attention, we must build a shrine. we must pay homage to it. that's what these are for. โ
โ the intention was never for me to find you. โ
โ your friends were rocks ? โ
โ do people not tell you that you're smart ? โ
โ right, 'cause you're surrounded by people who always agree with you, i get it. โ
โ do you know the story of the blair witch project ? โ
โ it's sensual now, right ? โ
โ [ name ], i worry about you in the glade there in the open. there is space in my hiding spot for two if you would wish to join me. โ
โ you are asking me to go up there & stay next to your mud - covered body ? โ
โ it would be an honour to make sure that you are safe here in the dark forest at night. โ
โ also, you are extremely visible & ruining my trap. โ
โ i've given you offense. โ
โ hey, hey, you know what ? go fuck yourself. โ
โ turnabout is fair play, & i am prey no longer. โ
โ i have never been bested, & i will not start tonight. โ
โ are they about to swing on me ? 'cause i just wanted to talk about found footage. โ
โ you know, i think with the fog, there'd be no witnesses, so we could have a go & get a little naughty. โ
โ i deeply wanted to have a moment where i could connect with you, but i realize it's just not possible. โ
โ if you go right now, it won't be too late. you could still win. โ
โ i am in need of remembering that i can be a fool often. โ
โ did you want to hit me ? you can. โ
โ i have to go. i cannot be here. it is incredibly unbecoming of me to be here. โ
โ i apologize profusely, & i will make it up to you in the future, but for right now, please go to them. leave me here. โ
โ you deserve what you were seeking when we stepped into the forest together. โ
โ it's time to be a big boy. โ
โ as soon as you pulled out your weapon, all the muscles that you haven't worked became apparent. โ
โ i compel a duel between you & i. we โ i'm duelling you. โ
โ no, [ name ], it's witchcraft ! don't fall for it ! โ
โ ah, these ouchies need kissing ! โ
โ i will soothe your wounds in but a moment. โ
โ this is a classic romantic trap. โ
โ i have never been bested, but there's a first time for everything. โ
โ ah, i need โ i need sexy help. โ
โ [ name ] can be very violent, but i am of a softer touch. โ
โ [ you're / i'm ] supposed to be the biggest catch this year. โ
โ i wanted to ask your advice about something. โ
โ i can't do this. i can't fucking do this. โ
โ i keep saying things that sound ridiculous. i can't do this. โ
โ steel your nerves, [ name. ] โ
โ i'm trying, i'm trying, i'm trying. โ
โ i'm scared every second of my fucking life, so advice fucking please now ! โ
โ no one, alive or otherwise, knows how hard you are working more than me. โ
โ let's go wander around a bit. let's go take my weird dog for a walk or something zany like that. โ
โ it turns out that the real hunt was the friends we made along the way. โ
โ your society has made an olympic event out of jumping to conclusions. โ
โ so is this something that everyone's talking about, or is this something you are talking about ? โ
โ i'm sorry for what's about to happen, [ name. ] โ
โ oh, think about this. you really wanna do that ? โ
โ might there be another path to allay our precarious situation ? โ
โ i, while growing up as a child, constantly got in trouble for making, & i quote, mouth sounds. โ
โ i will be buried with this fucking thing before i give it up. โ
โ it's just a two - mile walk in a climate you're uncomfortable with. โ
โ [ name ] do you wanna be here ? โ
โ my dearest [ name ] โ actually, not my dearest โ i wouldn'tโ i'm not quite sure how to address, per se, in that regardโฆ โ
โ i am not a child anymore, & i should be making real friends, โ
โ love & magic are always worth it. โ
โ i simply want to reaffirm my affections for you & my eternal desire to someday, joyfully, make our debut. โ
โ know that though i hear & see everything that happens within my court, i do not now, nor have i ever, passed judgment on you. โ
โ the gifts are weird this year. โ
โ i must sincerely apologize for my boorish behaviour the other day. โ
โ imagine stealing you from [ name ] mid - conversation, only to bully you about keeping appearances. โ
โ to be honest, i have no idea what has come over me. โ
โ you made such a kind gesture to open up the gates of friendship, & in my nervousness, i'm afraid i closed the door shut & padlocked it, throwing away the key. โ
โ is there any chance for reconciliation ? โ
โ please forgive me for thinking of my status before thinking of you, โ
โ i don't know what i would do if you were not by my side. โ
โ i'm not questioning your judgment, just double - checking. โ
โ i have an event to organize, & i am afraid i am getting swept up in the affairs of the court. โ
โ i feel a strong connection to you, [ name ], & to be quite frank, it scares me. โ
โ i have never been truly myself with anyone, & as you grabbed me by the wrist & looked into my eyes, i felt something i've never known before. โ
โ i don't know what it is, & against my better judgment, i am willing to pursue it. โ
โ [ name ], what's wrong ? it's too much, is it ? โ
โ i was out being a deer. what the fuck did i miss ? โ
โ i ... i'm afraid i've caught feelings for [ name. ] โ
โ we are all a pile of secrets, & i think you just have to find the person you're willing to be truthful to, or whatever. โ
โ i cannot allow my feelings to get in the way of my duty. โ
โ you know i love you, right ? โ
โ i'm very scared & i feel like i've rushed into something that i've just been introduced to. โ
โ burn it. get rid of it. โ
โ i hate it here. it's sunny & it feels bad. โ
โ since i'm not always the best at speaking, i took the time, the better part of this morning, to put together a collection of pickup lines, lewd jokes, & rude drawings. โ
โ i'm actually realizing that this might have been a huge mistake โ โ
โ are you a little bit rebellious or are you perhaps playing a longer con ? โ
โ i know that [ name / title ] has issues with your family. โ
โ i know that there are quite a bit of rumours & scandal that come with being such a party animal as yourself. โ
โ i think it's a wound i needed in order to bleed afresh so i could ask myself, why am i here ? โ
โ i would say it is sort of a curse of this society, that the things that define us could be used against us, & so we have to hold them very close to our chest, โ
โ i think i broke it a bit. โ
โ i let my dick take me wherever it leads me. i don't know. โ
โ [ name ], i was so surprised to hear from you, but very delighted. โ
โ your grandfather invented birds. that's a fact i know about you. โ
โ are you gonna bring out the drugs ? โ
โ i also know the rumours about me are that i get off on other people's pleasure. โ
โ i was wondering if you had, i don't know, any advice on proper decorum for these things. โ
โ i hear that you bring the party, & i, too, would one day like to bring the party. โ
โ in terms of decorum, i find it so interesting that you would come to ask me, because i actually have a pretty bad reputation. โ
โ when's the last time you went to the material plane ? โ
โ i hear that switching between the mortal plane & the fey realm does result in memory loss sometimes, or the fuzziness of the edges. โ
โ have you ingratiated yourself to many of your fellow court members ? โ
โ well, you know, i have a very large shadow to fill with my [ relative ], & all. โ
โ if i were to confide in you, i do feel that i'm not sure how certain members of the court of wonder feel about me. โ
โ you seem to be charm personified. โ
โ well, therein is the first lesson. they're always watching. anyone, everyone. โ
โ the choices you make, who you assort yourself with, who you chat with, who you walk with, it all matters. โ
โ is there anyone that has caught your eye ? โ
โ do you come seeking a love match yourself ? โ
โ & what do you seek in a match ? โ
โ oh, goodness. to be honest, i feel that my court, while wonderful, is boring. โ
โ i always feel the person laughing loudest in the room is often the saddest โ
โ i feel that there's just a malice behind the magic that i do not necessarily abide by. โ
โ i think we've all overspoken a little bit today, & sometimes that forms a bond. โ
โ there's a wide world out there, & this court, as wonderful as it is, just is pageantry. โ
โ well, it seems you very much move to the beat of your own drum. โ
โ i know you clocked my familiarity with [ place / person ], & you can hold that against me as you will. โ
โ remember today, the law of sneakery. โ
โ a true goblin never does what gets seen when they might to have done it where it wouldn't. โ
โ more secrets is more better to goblins. โ
โ what ? oh, are you sleepy ? are you a sleepy little guy ? โ
โ i'd slap you, but it'll kill you. โ
โ it has taken me forty - five minutes to write the past four sentences. โ
โ i wish that you were here. i wish that i could tell you that everything would be all right. โ
โ to what do i owe the honour of your visit ? โ
โ you have hurt a person i care about. โ
โ if i have given offence, then i'm honour - bound to amend it. โ
โ i am your humble servant, but i will not be made to feel a fool. โ
โ my dearest friend in the world has shed a tear over you, & i will not leave without satisfaction. โ
โ as my second, you will transport my weapon to the duel. โ
โ it's not my job to angle for a marriage. that's what [ name ] is doing. โ
โ you've inserted sand into the crack of my ass. โ
โ actually, i think you should leave me here this evening & go on your way. โ
โ would you allow me to turn you into a bird ? โ
โ is something the matter ? โ
โ i'm required to be a second for a duel. โ
โ this is someone else's mistakes. i'm absolutely going to spectate. โ
โ you're not tryin' to get rid of me, are you ? โ
โ i want to treat you as well as possible, because for the longest time you were my only friend. โ
โ you don't have to do that to me. no, no, no, no, no, stop, or i'll bow to you. โ
โ would it not be more important for me to take this as an opportunity to prove my worth ? โ
โ you're only saying that around me, right ? you don't say that around other people ? โ
โ do what you think is best. โ
โ i'm gonna go find a book about bringing people back from the dead. โ
โ oh my god, there you are. where have you been ? what's going on ? โ
โ i told you that i was doing like, a thing, & that you needed to leave me alone for like a hot second. โ
โ i can do like two cool things, & then i have to go to bed. โ
โ are you sending me on a fetch quest ? โ
โ keep your eyes trained on [ name. ] they are not who they seem. โ
โ wait, if you die, do i have to fight ? oh, fuck. โ
โ [ name ], what's your play ? โ
โ sorry, i'm caught in a moment here. what is it that you ask of me ? โ
โ i'm sorry, do you not see the battle that's about to take place ? โ
โ have you thought this through ? is this what you really wanna do ? โ
โ this is the biggest stretch of a fuckin' lifetime. โ
โ i, to be very clear, would wipe the floor with you. โ
โ why do this ? you have hurt me deeply. thought i was a friend. โ
โ the usual social lubricant of alcohol has been deprived of me. โ
โ a wrestling match, against me ? the slipperiest [ boy / girl ] ? โ
โ what have you lost that has put you in this position to begin with ? โ
โ i would like to let you know, in closing, after the ceremony of this particular ordeal, i extend to you a hand of friendship. โ
โ i would love to know what's upsetting you so. โ
โ if a secret should not be shared willingly, then i shall not be the one to share it. โ
โ if i reject a proposal of marriage, i would ask that people handle it with more grace in the future. โ
โ get my fainting couch, quickly ! quickly, i'm falling ! โ
โ i would love for you to take matters into your own hands. โ
โ remember who you are. โ
โ i saw an opportunity to strike, & i took it. โ
โ i've got no idea what the duel was about, i really don't. i have no clue. i straight - up have no clue. โ
โ my understanding, based on context alone, is that an attempt at kindness & civility from me was so odious to [ you / name ] that it moved [ you / them ] to tears โ
โ rather than having the courage to explain to me why my affections would be so onerous, i suppose i was so far beneath [ you / them ] that [ you / they ] saw fit that [ your / their ] assistant would be enough to reclaim [ your / their ] lost honour. โ
โ it's what they do. they twist intentions, & i'm so sorry that they did that to you, but i hope you remember this. โ
โ remember this slight, remember the choice that they made, that their court always makes. โ
โ you are best as a blunt instrument, & ought not to get caught up in the machinations of people who know only how to speak. โ
โ i was completely scared shitless, because last time we fought, you knocked me off my steed, & nearly killed me. โ
โ you don't have to sort of share your failures so aloud in front of everyone. โ
โ if anyone thinks that i have anything to do with the wonderfulness that is this event, then i'll absolutely tell them it was you. โ
โ i hear things & know things, & know that you're not necessarily on the up & up with people, or your court, or whatever. โ
โ i have so much to learn about everything here. โ
โ i don't know what you want from me. โ
โ i would never overstep, because i don't do that, because i'm wonderful. โ
โ you can eat those. they are safe, & not poisonous, because i would never do that. โ
โ [ name ] said you've been upset. leaking water, fluid from your eyes. โ
โ i don't want to talk about it right now. โ
โ i have so many questions to ask you, & i don't even know where to start. โ
โ i would hold nothing back from you. โ
โ why did you do it ? โ
โ i don't have time for my heart to be the center of anything. โ
โ i come last, always. i always have, & i always will. โ
โ how can we end it this way ? โ
โ what do you have to lose ? โ
โ you have everything to gain. โ
โ so if it's all going to end here, it might as well go off with a bang, right ? โ
โ is it okay if i hug you ? โ
โ if it doesn't work out, who cares ? โ
โ you're still yourself, & we're still here, & i will never leave you. โ
โ if they break your heart, i'll break their neck. โ
โ i only got one good hit in. โ
โ this isn't about me in this moment, & that's okay. โ
โ everything i've done is through fear. โ
โ i'm just changing the energy because i'm literally crying a little bit. โ
โ am i mistaken in saying that you were injured & poisoned, perhaps ? โ
โ oh, is this, sorry, is this for appearances ? โ
โ i simply want to offer to you an offer without expiration. โ
โ [ name ], you've got to close ! close ! we can only push so far ! โ
โ i know iโm a problem, okay ? iโm working on it ! โ
โ i know i'm not supposed to talk about it. โ
โ i'm sorry that you felt that you had to do that to begin with. โ
โ i understand what it's like to hide aspects of yourself. โ
โ great, well, if you'll excuse me, things are about to get very fucky very quickly. โ
โ i need to solve a problem i created. i'll see you in a second. โ
โ i will eat your face off ! โ
โ well, it would seem as though you take yet another swing at my reputation. โ
โ this is regular. this is a normal thing that happens. โ
โ are you taking my soul ? what was happening ? โ
โ if any of you touch me, i will end you here & now. โ
โ what the fuck are you ? โ
โ what's going on with your face ? โ
โ everyone here is very scary, but not you. โ
โ i have such a bad read on everybody. โ
โ i should've done this forever ago. what the heck was i so nervous about ? โ
โ you're not who you say you are. โ
โ perhaps this night we might adjourn for a stroll under the stars. โ
โ you are mine, & i am yours. โ
โ fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah ! i'm fucking mature ! โ
โ [ name ], our reputations are exquisite right now. โ
โ the [ object ] seeks intention & will help you down the path of what you truly desire. โ
โ i have something to talk to you about. something very, very important, & i don't think i can talk to you about it here, but i, um โฆ โ
โ i'd love to see [ name ] swallow a loss to you. โ
โ i'm great, i'm good, good. i'm just gonna cast lesser restoration on myself at the earliest convenience. โ
โ why is my hole not working ? โ
โ i think i'm seeking scandal & ruin. โ
โ a little bit of help, a little bit of harm. i can do it all. โ
โ i'm not taking a shit in the hedge maze. โ
โ i don't think that you're like the other people from your court, are you ? you're not like them, right ? โ
โ i don't get emotional. i don't know what's happening right now. my face is leaking ! โ
โ it is difficult showing one's true self. โ
โ i can't believe you gave me a cursed key ! โ
โ you had ideas about how much you mattered to me that were the height of arrogance. โ
โ there are several dead goblins in your bag. โ
โ sometimes when you spectate, you just wanna stir shit up just to see, you know ? โ
โ subtlety's not my skill. โ
โ you've been afflicted by what i can only assume was a very callously tossed spell your way. โ
โ you are by far the most capable of our family. you are sort of the crown jewel. โ
โ what are you doing ? is this a trick ? โ
โ dear [ name ], get fucked ! โ
โ at times it is hard to work with this court ! โ
โ i don't see why this has to be fought over. โ
โ all hail the weaver of fate, [ name. ] โ
โ as the days of the bloom grow long, i yearn for the day at which point our love will become known. โ
โ [ name ], you will not believe who i just got a letter from. โ
โ i wonder if you would meet me to discuss some addendums to our wager. โ
โ the mirror pool's portal's now sealed. what can be done ? โ
โ i would like to quell this vicious rumour into non - existence. โ
โ is that supposed to be some kind of pickup line ? โ
โ i think i'm in it deep. i think [ name ]โs in love with me. โ
โ i want very much to be there in person to give my blessing to the match you have sought out. โ
โ word has reached me here, & you have made me proud. โ
โ do not falter in your moment of glory. โ
โ well, i mean, i won't lie, i'm already engaged, so โ โ
โ you are engaged & you intend to break it off ? โ
โ [ name ], i'm married. โ
โ okay, okay, fine, get me liquored up. โ
โ i'll tell you everything, but i need you to understand that i will be putting you in danger if i tell you any more. โ
โ what do i have to do to buy your silence ? โ
โ i'm sorry, i panicked. i just didn't want to be in the room as you were saying more things. โ
โ we can have a conversation, & if you want to kill me at the end of it, you can kill me. โ
โ i need you to know that i chose to stay with you through all of this. my loyalty is with you. โ
โ are you in love with them ? โ
โ [ name ], you can do no wrong in my eyes. โ
โ i'm dying right now because i just want to fuck around. โ
โ what's the core of what you desire from this ? โ
โ nothing may be stricken from memory here at the bloom where all of the courts talk. โ
โ a vicious rumour was spread. the honour of my court must be maintained. โ
โ ah, so certain stories continue to be spread. โ
โ meetings of this nature can be grave affairs. โ
โ that's for sure the best you could do ? โ
โ somebody's got to fuck a salt goblin. โ
โ what is the meaning of this ensemble you have ? โ
โ i have a meeting with [ name. ] they, i believe, think i am planning to murder them, โ
โ we've got to start killing people in this campaign. โ
โ i don't fear death. โ
โ i will hear the sounds you're making, & i will nod empathetically at those sounds so you feel heard & understood. โ
โ well, that comforted me very little. but i appreciate the intention there. โ
โ i barely know you, but i feel like i understand you so well. โ
โ what if they do not reciprocate my feelings ? because that reality would be insufferable. โ
โ would you rather live in a world where you didn't even try ? โ
โ i won't say anything, because of course this is about you, but i'm gonna look sickening, okay ? โ
โ why would you do that ? what are you doing to me ? โ
โ ah, you've cast magic on me. โ
โ i've โ how do i put this ? i've written checks my body can't quite cash. โ
โ i never intended for you to fall madly in love with me. i was simply playing the game of diplomacy. โ
โ i want the best for you, & that is the truth. โ
โ sometimes people need to believe what they need to believe. โ
โ [ name ], please. you think i'm going to miss this ? โ
โ [ name ], guilt is not going to serve you in your quest. โ
โ i am not in love with you. โ
โ it's been only one duel, & no murder ! โ
โ we can bring them back from the dead. we don't have to make it permanent. โ
โ i am not one possessed of affinity for high society. โ
โ you were born to a family that has put you in this place, & i was not. โ
โ magic seems so useful. what's that like ? โ
โ i was taken by the fey, yes. & they raised me to be one of them. โ
โ good rule of tactics. never give your opponent the same trick twice. โ
โ better for you to drink that than me. โ
โ it has come to the attention of the court that there may be interlopers of a highly dangerous nature attending this bloom. โ
โ do you have a means of dispelling this suspicion on my behalf ? โ
โ courts are large, & they encompass multitudes, & there are those of us who can contradict the nature of our court. โ
โ i find the members of this court to be arrogant, vain, haughty, small - minded, & of a nature most unbecoming to those of us who wish to uphold true values, like rumpus & mischief ! โ
โ i am of the opinion that your court shares common cause with my own. โ
โ we have both been wronged in our own time by this court, & perhaps are seen by certain factions within the realms as lesser than others. โ
โ if you seek satisfaction, i would understand, but i wish to know the manner of your silence. โ
โ is our belief that there was one malefactor a delusion, & in fact there was never a hope of an alliance with your court ? โ
โ oh, there's hand - holding happening. โ
โ you had to outdo me. โ
โ i know that you're looking to find magic. โ
โ great alliances forged in the dark of night are the bread & butter of this court. โ
โ you started that rumour ? โ
โ i offered something that i thought would elevate the station of my court in my moment of humiliation. โ
โ i warn you the dangerous nature of rumours. โ
โ in a fog of mystery, the question of my honour is at stake, & i cannot suffer this insult. โ
โ you were used, [ name. ]. know that. โ
โ you were the instrument in which all of this chaos started. what did you get out of it ? โ
โ you are so attentive to other people's feelings. what about your own ? โ
โ you deserve this more than i. โ
โ why bring out things that have been left dead & buried for so long ? you might uncover things you don't want. โ
โ i've read like so many fucking books. it's like my trademark. โ
โ i would never be so rude as to deny hospitality to the leader of a court, diminished though it may be. โ
โ shouldn't i be asking you how you feel about a loose end appearing ? โ
โ my fear, & my fear for my court, is where your ambitions lie next. โ
โ people move courts all the time. that's all. โ
โ i'm gonna get drunk & maybe do some weird drugs, if that's alright. โ
โ you know i get off on other people's pleasure. โ
โ oh god, i can't imagine only having eighty years worth of orgasms. โ
โ oh my god, youโre back. i thought you would be a bummer forever. โ
โ welcome ! you are well worth the wait. โ
โ i'm not coming back if the bloom has diminished to the point where the winnings for a grand wager are a lesson. โ
โ i've heard what's been said about you, that you're secretly in a relationship ? โ
โ should we have a toast to our potential nuptials ? โ
โ i have a bit of a sense that, storied though your house may be, it is in a bit of disrepair โ
โ i had an interesting request, if that's all right. โ
โ sentiment, where i grew up, is seen as a weakness โ
โ it has been the nature of my family to pit siblings against one another for quite a time, because there was this idea of scarcity of love in my family. โ
โ i pledge my oath to your cause, & let's bring this entire fucking thing down. โ
โ what a hilarious event it would be were things to go incredibly wrong. am i right ? โ
โ what have i done to deserve such a gift ? โ
โ wow, this ball is off to a great start. โ
โ oh, i do hope we have some death. โ
โ i wish all dances came with instructions in the lyrics. โ
โ how is your adventures in finding love ? has that been fruitful ? โ
โ i've heard the rumours you've turned down so many proposals. โ
โ is there any consideration that you might indulge yourself in something you've previously denied yourself ? โ
โ i mean, once you ate a feather. โ
โ i do hope that i'm able to maintain the decorum you require this party. โ
โ i was gonna give you a supportive slap on the ass, but now i'm realizing i should ask for consent before i do that. โ
โ we got this. we've been drunker in even more important situations before. โ
โ don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. โ
โ i do apologize for laying hands upon you, [ name. ] the noise, i worried that we were under attack. โ
โ it was just the magnificence of the fireworks that truly startled me. i'm quite fine. โ
โ i'm sure you must be being bothered by everyone asking you to dance. โ
โ [ name ] do you want me to get rid of this rumour for you ? โ
โ i want that box office cash ! i don't want a fucking oscar ! โ
โ i would certainly say that the mortal plane can have its own bewitching effect. โ
โ [ name ] โs not dead. they didn't die. i didn't murder them. โ
โ [ name ] offered me a loveless political marriage. great, that's honestly what i'm here for. โ
โ you seem to be spectacularly deceptive & slippery. โ
โ oh [ name ], i didn't mean to try to complicate your relationship or anything. โ
โ i don't know what your deal is, but i don't like it, yeah. โ
โ yeah, i can't actually lie without passing out. โ
โ don't mistake their innocence of means for an innocence of heart. โ
โ thanks to you, our court's prospects are renewed. โ
โ i must admit, my feet still hurt from when you stepped on them as i was teaching you how to do the electric slide. โ
โ i want to know you, [ name. ] i want to know you like no one else knows you. โ
โ i know it's a little different than what you planned, but i think it was good. i had a good time. โ
โ do you have a good time at these events ? or do you just do the things that need to be done ? โ
โ i'm afraid that you are bound by obligation & not love. โ
โ if you tell me to step back from the next event, i will do it, but i won't enjoy it. โ
โ it pleases me greatly to be of use to you. โ
โ you know that there are no secrets between us. & i must confess something to you, [ name. ] โ
โ you don't mean anything that you're saying. โ
โ i regret deeply that i did not see what was coming & intervene, but what is done is done, & people talk. โ
โ we do not concern ourselves with the murmurings of lesser courts. โ
โ i wished only for your happiness & the sense of freedom to move about & do what you do best, but i realize my mistake. โ
โ why must we hold on to the magic that controls the bloom ? โ
โ i do not fault you for your outburst. it's in your nature. โ
โ have you engaged in carnal delights yet ? โ
โ ah, [ name ], my potential betrothed. โ
โ i am sorry. who would ever love me, you know ? โ
โ are you so derelict in your duty that you would like to risk my well - being by moving on ? โ
โ in offering a gentleman's slap to initiate the duel, i will attempt to decapitate them in that moment. โ
โ most of our company here, i would say, were born to their position. you & i were not. โ
โ by blood & fang, we will prove that we have as much of a right to be here as any ! โ
โ in love & war you must not miss your moment to strike. โ
โ so you've decided for me ? is that what you're doing ? โ
โ i am not going to put you in the position i put you in before by being forward. โ
โ for me to have known even a single day of love is a gift that i never thought i would be lucky enough to have, & i will not squander it hoping for more. โ
โ i am ordered to marry. & i ... & i will not ... โ
โ i just, i want you to know that courts, the royalty, the frivolity, the structure of them, it's all smoke & mirrors. โ
โ i also have the sense that our court is moving towards some major step, & i've been omitted from that conversation. โ
โ many have noticed your ambition, & you have been thwarted, if i'm not incorrect, at every single step of the way. โ
โ hardly a shining example of our court. โ
โ i would like to know what we are doing, & i would like to actually do it. โ
โ everyone else in my family seems to be flailing & embarrassing us every step of the way. โ
โ who are you to order me around ? โ
โ i have watched generation after generation devour themselves to move to my throne & none are worthy. why do you think yourself different ? โ
โ you, you cannot help but walk in the light. โ
โ you need to be seen, to be loved, to be held. โ
โ i have chosen my domain, & you think yourself above it. โ
โ i'm included in what we're doing or it doesn't succeed. & that's not a threat. that's a very ardent prediction. โ
โ i hope you are stronger than the rest. you are bolder, certainly. โ
โ i haven't shared in a very long time, & i won't start today. โ
โ i mean, it was very hushed, but it sounded like you wanted to break into where i live. โ
โ who told you ? who have you been talking to ? โ
โ where are you going ? i thought you were a warrior. stay & fight ! โ
โ i'm lost without a coterie of people to take care of me ! โ
โ look, i've been shot. โ
โ can we stop dwelling on the worst thing that's literally ever happened to us ever ? โ
โ it was more, to be truthful, it was like i was being hunted, certainly. โ
โ you seem very casual after being shot. โ
โ i have it on good authority from my [ name ], the [ title ], that [ name ] sucks. โ
โ you are acting outside of the specific jurisdiction of our court. โ
โ if someone could dig these arrows out of my back, i would deeply appreciate it. โ
โ [ name ], you can have sex with people that you hate & disagree with. โ
โ [ name ], i'm sorry that you thought that you had to bear those wounds & burdens yourself. โ
โ it seems like they want me in power so they can silence me. โ
โ god, you people are so poor ! โ
โ i think that magic is an extension of the love that we have for ourselves, each other, & the world around us. โ
โ no one inspires more fear at these events than you, because no one's quite sure what you are going to do. โ
โ it's difficult to say what will happen when you cast this, of course. it's a bit of a roll of the die. โ
โ delightful, in a very sort of bright, disorienting sort of way. โ
โ all this talk about courts & belonging, i feel torn, to be honest with you. โ
โ there was a part of me that wanted to dismantle all courts. โ
โ where would orders come from if not from one's obligations to court & kin ? โ
โ are you truly happy with the things that you've done for the name of other people ? โ
โ to act on one's self - interest alone is to lead an empty life, i think. โ
โ just hold me. just fucking hold me. โ
โ fighting for other people's love is what i do. โ
โ if you care about [ name ], you have to tell them, because they donโt know. โ
โ do you love me more than you love your standing at the court ? โ
โ all the blood is rushing to my penis. โ
โ your honour has been besmirched ! โ
โ understand that everything i have done was for love. โ
โ sickening, the things people do for power. โ
โ you, more than anyone else, i thought would understand. โ
โ you thought that was obligation ? i did it because i cared for you. โ
โ once this is shut, the magic that we generate stays here, with us. โ
โ i have a feeling i know where this storm's coming from. โ
โ i know we left on strange terms, & there's still much to discuss, but i really need your help at this moment in time. โ
โ i'm coming for you, but first, i have to absolutely fucking destroy my reputation. โ
โ i mean, i could fully stop this, but also, i mean, the drama ! โ
โ you've hatched this incredible plan, & it's been incredibly successful, except for the utter fucking failure it's been this entire time. โ
โ was that your attempt at control over me ? โ
โ put the corpse down now. โ
โ you have no allyship but yourself. โ
โ i am smart enough to know when a fight's a bad one, but we are incredibly long lived, & i will see you again. โ
โ i'm gonna let that wash over me, because if i think about it, i will go insane. โ
โ i'm gonna go, because this is honestly horrifying. โ
โ yes, we've got to throw an orgy, stat ! โ
โ it would seem that i have taken up a more pertinent & higher status in the court. โ
โ i love you with my whole heart, & i do want you to be happy, which is why i'm going to turn & walk away. โ
โ i forgive you, & i hope you can forgive me. โ
โ every suffering of mine has been because i feared, & feared greatly, to disappoint, to earn scorn. โ
โ you will never know a lonely day again as long as i draw breath. โ
โ should you need a place to rest your head, a place to find comfort, laughter, my home is yours. โ
โ come with me to the mortal realm. โ
