shit ideas

thank you

Have unprotected sex at night because the sperm will be asleep

For a fast easy way to lose weight- almost overdose on meth- you’ll never remember to eat since you’re too busy scratching all of your skin off

Keep your organs nice and clean by drinking 8 glasses of bleach everyday

Substitute eye drops with lemon juice! Vitamin C is good for your vision and you get it more directly from citrus

drink a gallon of orange juice right after you brush your teeth

sell your car for emergency gas money

sue your parents for your bad genes 

Instead of peeing in the shower to save time, just go all the way and shit in the shower.

instead of wasting hundred of dollars on a bidet, learn how to do handstands in the shower

Install new iOS software before taking a dump

yes!!

empty your water bed and fill it with rocks instead

Eat a lot of food loaded with preservatives so that you don't age as fast.

share porn videos with good storylines to your Facebook wall and make sure you have your family as friends on there

if your computer freezes, set it on fire to warm it up

shove a brick up your asshole so that you shit it out later for comedic effect