→ bird born in fire; [ semi - hiatus. ]

hi lovely wonderful people -- i might be going to the hospital soon. and im literally fighting against it bc i dont think it'll do anything (i've been multiple times and stayed 6 weeks etc) and if i did think it would help i would voluntarily go. anyways. if i dont come back to this account by...let's say may 2nd? im there.

you've all sent me lovely messages and im so sorry for not replying to any of them or any of you. i love you all, seriously. ive just taken a turn for the worst and im trying to stay afloat but this crushing anxiety/depression/ocd and just the fact eating even is a chore. 

i literally try SO hard to fight.  i always do and will but in very john green like fashion:

"How do you get out of the labyrinth of suffering?"

im not romaticizing my situation with that quote, i hope it doesn't come off that way. 

For me I see there's no way out. I mean, I know eventually there has to be -- but nvm.

Anyways, sorry burdening you all with my crap, i just seem to do this all the time. im pretty insufferable and im sorry for that.