--- × ☾ esta noche.

at one point in their lives had there been something easily accessible to her hands renata would surely be throwing it in matty’s direction with the retort that was returned at her. luckily being less dramatic nowadays, all she did was narrow her eyes at him in response. with his adding of distance between them, renata took a few steps back herself, moving her arms to cross against her chest. “how is ’full-time cop’ not your idea of a normal life?” the question came out almost weak, the opposite of her usual strong speech. it came with the realization of how draining fighting with matty truly was. up until recently, their infamous fights had become a rare occurrence, until now when they were here all over again along with the usual feeling of anger building up inside her every time he mentioned that he didn’t belong somewhere. as if she made no difference in the equation. in her own feelings, her sense of belonging came with being with matty, though clearly it wasn’t a reciprocated feeling. “right.” as per usual, rather than expressing how she felt– that she wasn't enough, or hadn't done enough to comfort matty– renata hid behind a wall of bitterness. “i’m glad you finally found somewhere to belong after all these years.” 

the response from naomi had renata raising her brow in near confusion though her full attention and patience remained on the blonde. it made sense now–why naomi was so hesistant–and there wasn’t a way to blame her whatsoever. anyone in her position would be thinking the same way. for once, renata had no words. no response. nothing to say. her lips parted as if to begin to speak but quickly shut once again as her fingers went to pinch the bridge of her nose. “is there any other options you can think of?”

there was no way renata could fully comprehend losing a father, let alone in the malicious way naomi had. therefore, for once, she was truly at a loss for words. “well, if anyone can figure that out, it’s you.” a small hint of a smile was offered to naomi before her expression turned back to seriousness. “what have you got so far?”

the last thing matty needed was renata’s rejection of his choice, she knew that, and yet for some reason that was her first reaction. it was just a few months ago that renata was promising she would back him up with whatever decision he made and when the time came along where she usually would be behind him no questions asked, her mind wasn’t wrapping around the fact that this really always had been a possibility. “there’s no tension.” despite the words and his arms staying around her, renata’s dropped from his body. "what happens now? you just leave the family and what- you live a normal life? where does that leave me?” 

‘dad’ was the only word that naomi needed to utter for renata to immediately comprehend what this was all about. after all, the first common factor that brought renata and naomi together was their fathers. “you don’t need to–” was the first thing out of her mouth, and though renata was the last person to be any kind of near affectionate, her hand instinctively went out to take naomi’s own. “can i help you with anything?” 

the last person naomi needed to apologize to was renata, there was always the undeniable understanding between their friend group. however, it also meant she was one of few people that really knew naomi and that answer wasn’t at all about to satisfy renata. a brow raised in response, as if waiting for the full story, as she moved to shut the door behind them. “long weekend?” 

for a few minutes renata was silent while taking in everything he was saying. of course she understood where matty was coming from, and it had been just a few weeks ago that renata vowed she would be at his side with whichever decision that he chose–but why was this one specifically difficult for her to grasp? the job that he had hated, the one he complained about, was ultimately what he wanted for life. the good outweighed the bad and still there were no words to begin to explain how she felt about him leaving her in the family or that he was choosing the good life and she couldn’t let go. “so that’s it then? that’s your final decision?”

a laugh escaped from her lips but renata was quick to roll her eyes as she usually did when it came to matty’s responses. “get over yourself,” she murmured through a lazy smile. if there was any way possible to pull him closer to her renata would have done it by now with the way they were holding one another as if was just the two of them in the world. or at least it was in her world. “i’m glad you’re feeling good, baby, i’m proud of you.” there was no denying the fact that matty’s happiness brought renata her own happiness in turn, and knowing him well enough she knew exactly what conclusion he had come to with the absence taken from the family. “so you’ve made a decision?”

all renata could do was give him a nod of her head in agreement to his words. she knew full well no matter what came up matty was more than prepared for it, though as always, her worries weren’t anywhere near coming to an end. for a moment after the kiss, renata rested her head against his head, a minute that brought all her worries to dissolve as she let out a soft laugh. “maybe it’s better he’s not so much a ladies man like you,” she joked, looking up at him before her hands moved to rest on each of his arms. “y’think that place relies solely on you?” the teasing didn’t last long and now renata was biting down on her lip as she turned more serious. “how’s that break been going?”

“woah, hey, nomes, it’s just me,” renata was quick to clarify with a tinge of laughter in her voice though it wouldn’t last. the look on naomi’s face was enough to have her entire demeanour shifting into a more serious stance as a hand went to the blonde’s shoulder, nudging her towards the closest office space for more privacy. “are you doing alright?”

renata turned her head back to press a soft kiss to his cheek before he pulled away and she continued with what she was previously doing. the next blow was bound to happen, the both of them would be playing blind if they were to assume there was never another one to come, but at least renata could hope it would be prolonged for as much as possible. her eyes flickered up to meet his to give him a smile as she nodded her head. “let’s just hope it’s not anytime soon,” was all she could murmur in the moment before she brushed the thought away from her mind to focus on their upcoming trip. “seriously? i always assumed tommy was more into blondes," she mentioned with a laugh as her hands went to hold onto the sides of his face carefully when he leaned in to kiss her. “there’s always something going on with the family, but they can live without me for a weekend.”

from the twists of the mob and the ups and downs in their own relationship, somehow their lives had become normalized. the way they previously were when they shielded their emotions from one another was long gone and now left with a serenity that renata could only compare to pure bliss. her gaze locked on his as he walked closer and soon enough she was leaning into his body when he placed a kiss on the back of her head. “really?” she murmured easily, shutting the water off as she smiled at him brightly. “only a couple surgeries today. the usual, it wasn’t anything too chaotic. i rescheduled a few surgeries so i’ll be able to come with you to vegas to see your brother.”

between wedding planning and balancing a double life, it was safe to say renata barely had time alone with her soon to be husband, and as if matters weren’t already stressful enough, it seemed his decision that teetered between leaving the family or his job at the station wasn’t quite coming along. or at least, renata hadn’t even begun to explore what he was thinking of doing or where he was going with the process of making said decision. that was, she wasn’t aware yet. cold water ran in the sink and renata was so immersed in her thoughts, she hadn’t heard the sound of the footsteps in the bedroom or the door of the bathroom opening. she didn’t need to hear it, or even look up to sense he was right behind her in the doorway. “hey, you’re home,” she let out after a moment of silence, finally looking up to meet his eye in the reflection of the mirror with a small smile. “long day?”