Stay Gold

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Today, I listened to the audiobook in which Kate Rudd did a superb job. I fell in love with her narrative voice. But the one thing I fell in love with more than that was the book itself. And the movie too, to be honest.

I rarely become a fan of any authors besides GRRM, JK Rowling and Patrick Rothfuss. I can go a month without reading anyone else’s books as long as I have the books of these incredible talented authors with me.

I am moving on to the new chapter on my life. For the better. Yasss!

There are things that I started and haven’t finished and I’d like to finish them because my soul urges me to.

- Clexa: Eternity and a day will be revised. I need to finish this.

- After Becca x MC TSOTSC is finished, next might be

- Kaitlyn x MC there’s something about Book 1 I wanna write about

- Before I might get back to another Becca x MC

Basically what happened around 10 or 12 years ago was my eldest cousin stole money from my aunt? How much? Around 30,000 USD. It was a check and a person working at a bank was able to track which bank account that money was transferred to.

It turned out my aunt’s older sister aka the mother of my eldest cousin was the owner of that bank account which the stolen check had been transferred to.

Not only they never apologized or accepted their crime, they also told my second eldest cousin that my aunt was making shit up, lying and making a false accusation against her brother.

And for years, my second eldest cousin believes that I and my mother, my uncle and his wife and their 2 children blindly believed the lie my aunt was telling when in fact, the only lie that was told belonged to the mother of my eldest and second eldest cousins’.

I’m just so disappointed. I’m not even the victim in this event and it’s so fucking frustrating. 

My aunt has been like a godmother to them. My two fugtard cousins. She’s not perfect and far from being the best person in the world but she used to pay for shit for me and my cousins. And most importantly, you don’t fucking steal from your family. My aunt took the high road and never pressed charges. And my cousin and his mother acted like they didn’t do anything wrong.

She’s an actress of Chinese and French descent. She’s tall, lean, beautiful, sophisticated and elegant. And she has some Eastern Asian facial features which are also natural. Anyway, she has this smart, sophisticated and intelligent look about her.

As a writer, I am naturally obsessed (observant is an understatement) with people. I love looking at people and appreciate their beauty and take in their mannerism. How they move their mouth and how they trail off at a certain point in a conversation. A character’s personality and characteristics are shown through how they move and carry themselves too, not just through the language they speak or how they look. 

I’m not saying there’s only one kind of beauty. Fist of all, I love diversity and I appreciate different kinds of beauty of different skin tones and ethnicity. It’s just that I’m someone who was was born and raised in Asia (though I’ve been to 19 countries) and as a native here, most cultures in Asia just don’t appreciate women who age with grace. Don’t get me started on Japan. There’s even a tv series about how ageing women (aka above 40) are mistreated in workplace because they aren’t young anymore. And I’m not talking about “damn 40 never look so fine” kind of people. Westerners in their middle age, whether they look their age or not, they own it. Asian women in some Asian countries, are not allowed to age. Women in their 30s are basically expected to stay young and act like they are still girls instead of full fledged women with experiences from the things in life they have been through. 

I quit my job.

To finish my first novel (in English) which I am going to send to publisher and have it published within 2 years. Now I’m working as a freelancer to pay the bills.

You might think I’m out of my mind. But I am a spiritual person who’s meditated my way to successfully overcome depression, and trauma from sexual harassment in my teenage years without spending a dime on a therapist or any kind of medication. Yes, I am spiritual af. I know what I’m doing. I know I will succeed.

My main genre will still be fantasy.

But the first novel, which I discovered the plot through my lucid dreams in October 2016 is not a fantasy novel. Not teenage love story either lol.

I know it will get published. I know it will be made into Japanese animation film. And yes, I speak Japanese. I can also write a script for my own work. My purpose was found when I let my feelings lead me, and not my mind. Please believe that when you let your heart and feelings guide you, you will receive the Light and divine guidance as I do. Do not trust those who tell you what your path is for only you can know your path. That’s what Mary, my spiritual teacher has taught me. And so I have found the path that will lead me back to my true home. 

P.S. I have also found my pen name months ago. 

Love & Light always,