such a sweet disposition

Speaking of cider, fancy another? I’ll always buy for someone who wears a cable-knit jumper to a gig. Work it.

Nah, Jamesie’s probably pissing in the alleyway or snogging some bird. I wouldn’t worry, to be perfectly honest. ‘Course, I’m pissed that he may or may not have potentially left me stranded with nowhere to go, but I’m a very forgiving bloke. 

All I got out of that was “sweet” and “pot”. The DJ looks like a right knob head. Who wants to say he’ll tell me to stick it?

Well it is cold and it's very comfortable uh, I'm glad you like it, I suppose. You look very... Black. But that isn't to say it isn't good— It's definitely good, I mean you look handso— Smart. Very smart. 

I'll definitely take that cider.

I'll make sure you don't end up on the street, don't worry. I'll chip in for a cab or walk you wait well, that depends on where you live. Either way, I can't in good conscience let you turn into a temporary homeless drunk.  

Well, if you want any of that I'd have to nip home but nah, I reckon you're right. He does look like a bit of a pillock and I'm almost positive I saw him oggling some 16 year old, perv. 

Oi! That’s my best mate you’re talking about! But… yeah. Essentially. The tosser. Has he actually left? That’s a bit shit. Guess I’ll stay here and groove along to this… What do they call this, music? I hate this fucking electro shit. Reckon if I slip the DJ a fiver he’ll bless us with some decent tunes?

Apologies, he seemed... Fun? I don't know if he left but I did see him head out, maybe he's just going for some food, he looked like he needed it to be honest. Perhaps you don't have the suave charm you hope for but you can at least hold your liquor. Doubtful but I'll chuck in a fiver too if it'll sweeten the pot, I've always though this music sounded like a VCR having a stroke. 

Right, I know how this sounds - and I am a bit, a bit, mind you - pissed right now - but do you… come here often?

Also, now that you’re here and all, have you seen my mate James anywhere? Tall, masses of horrible dark hair, looks a bit like one of the Beatles? If y’do, lemme know, wouldja? Only m’supposed to be catching a ride home and the last time I passed out in a pub they chucked me out and I ended up sleeping on the street and - fucking barbaric, it was. Proper disgusting.

Something Dark, and Desperate and True.