Relishboii

I wish I was strong enough to cut myself deeply and Bleed everywhere but something always stops me just before I can get to the veins and tendons

I asked them for a break and they spent 3 hours convincing me not to block them by giving someone else my phone number and calling through them... then they blocked me after I finally, reluctantly agreed to stick around. What, I'm not allowed to quit because I'm fired? Why put me through that grueling phonecall only to pull the rug out from under me?

Lost my only two friends because I cried after they put me through 14 months of hell (I was "crashing out too much")

My mother stabbed me and I have permenant organ damage and laceration scars on my body and I haven't been able to live a normal life for 28yrs because of it yet she walks free because child abuse isn't taken fucking seriously at all. It's fucking promoted and it disgusts me and makes me want to fucking kill myself. The amount of people who've told me I'm not even good enough to be their friend because of my disgusting deformation is unbearable, I'm never good enough for anybody because I can't do anything because I'm too fucking disabled.

Looking down and seeing a mutilated carcass between my legs is the greatest gift of womanly purity my mother could have ever gifted me.

Being forced to watch someone just 2yrs younger than me with all the same interests and aspirations as me live their life to their fullest and do all the things I wanted to do all because they weren't raped and mutilated by their fucking parents makes me sick, it's vomit inducing, it's a mockery of my suffering, I'm being tortured by God for having to witness this, just let me fucking die already, don't force me to see what should have been me. Why couldn't that be me, why couldn't I have just been left to flourish as they have? Why must I have been trampled and uprooted from what should have been a normal life? I don't know what to do and nobody can save me, because the damage is done and there's nothing left to be saved. I will never get to do what I dreamed of and I will just have to die that way. Children were never meant to dream, not by their parents, but by some imagined hand of grace which was never truly there but to give people the facade of happiness during their torment. I was never allowed to dream, though I wanted to so badly.

The more I scream in agony the more my tooth hurts. I won't even be able to fake smile anymore because I'm about to lose all my teeth.

I WANT TO BE NORMAL I WANT TO LOOK DOWN AND SEE MYSELF AS NORMAL BUT I CANT AND THAT WAS FUCKING TAKEN FROM ME

Everyone gets a happy ending but me because I was born with sin (penis) and was lucky enough to have my sin (penis) removed

I'm losing everyone I care about because I was stabbed by the person who was supposed to protect me and now I can't even peavey the house without getting roofied

I have my first relationship and I can't make him happy because of my MUTILATED PENIS why the fuck was I even born if all people wanted to do was make sure I could never truly live

I WANT TO KILL MYSELF BUT NOONE WILL RELEASE ME FROM THIS HELL IM NOT STEONG ENOUGH TO DO IT ALONE

I have to live with the person who stabbed me

Mothers will literally stab you and tear your skin off your body and tell you to stop hurting yourself.

Mothers will literally rape their sons and tell you misandry isn't real while wearing a pussyhat and saying men can't be raped.