Relationship matters

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7 Unrealistic Expectations about Men Every Lady need to Discard

It is your birthday again!

The day that is supposed to be a happy day for you.

But it is not.

Why?

Because you are still single and each birthday reminds you of one thing:

Time is running out!

All your friends are engaged and some are even married

It’s not as if there were no men coming for you

It’s just because you have not met the one that meets all your expectations

It’s not as if you are asking for too much.  Just for few things a man must possess.

But no one comes close to it yet.

And you are wondering:  will I ever get a man that will meet all my expectations?

The thing is:

There are realistic and unrealistic expectations about men.

Realistic expectation such as the man must be trustworthy, hardworking, honest and caring.

There are many unrealistic expectations about men you can have, such as “the man must be wealthy” for instance.

The truth is:

Life is not always like that. We don’t always get all our expectations, especially when they are unrealistic.

God has different plans for us His children and until we calm down and discard our expectations for his will, we will always miss it.

I am sure you have lots of expectations about the man you want to marry. Because of that, you are throwing away responsible suitors who ask for your hands in marriage.  It is time to wake up to reality.  Time is not on your side.

Below, I have gathered 7 unrealistic expectations about men you need to discard if you want to marry a responsible man.

Let’s get started.

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 1.  He must be your ticket to a better life

Some ladies hold the notion that the guy that will date them must be wealthy. A wealthy guy will make them happy. He must live in an apartment and must have a car, a good one. I hope this is not you!

Wealth does not define a man. Although you need money to enjoy your relationship, it is not the ultimate. You must not turn your man into your ATM where you can always make withdrawal whenever you need it.

A man should not be your ticket to a better life. If you are not educated, find a good skill that will fetch you money. If you are an educated lady, search for better jobs or businesses you can do to cater to your needs. Doing this will make you be self–sufficient and not dependent on your man. Believe me, he will respect you for it.

2.  He must be your dictionary/encyclopedia

You want a man who will always have answers to all your problems. Most men are not counselors for God’s sake. He must know how to fix everything, including your broken tooth. Give me a break!

Learn to use your brain to think sometimes. If you have a sore in your mouth, your man is in trouble, he must look for ways to cure it when you know he is not a doctor. Your car suddenly stopped moving and the next person you call is your man. He must look for ways to fix it. You even packed the car right there and gave him the key to sort it out. What?

3.  Unfettered access to the holiest place would make him stay

Many ladies desperate for relationships and marriage think giving men sex will make them stay and even propose. Well, I am here to burst your bubbles. It doesn’t work! Sex cannot tie a man down with you in a relationship. There are other things that can make a man propose and sex is not one.

Some even go to the extent of becoming a ‘baby mama’ to tie their man down to marry them. It doesn’t work! Go and ask them. There are many of them out there frustrated because the man is not giving them attention. Close your legs and preserve yourself for the right man. It pays!

 4.  He must be able to change at the snap of your fingers

I have seen ladies who opened their two eyes to go into wrong relationships because they feel they can change their men.  Men are not projects you can change. This is why you need to open your eyes and choose wisely and not go “love is blind”.

The thing is, God made us individually wonderful with our characters, faults, and goodness. You cannot change your man to the person you have in mind. It wouldn’t work! It is either you accept him for who he is and have the peace of mind or you have no business being with him. Fact!

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 5.  He must complete you

I don’t blame most ladies. It is the environment we grew in. Most people believe a lady is not complete until she is married.  This has made several ladies be desperate for marriage even though they are successful in the live endeavor.

If you are not complete in and of yourself, no man can complete you.  Looking for a man to complete you will make you look desperate. You will compromise on everything. You won’t have a say. You will be a ‘yes’ woman.

 6.  He must be ready to propose after sometime

This is a popular and common unrealistic expectations about men most lady hold. Once they are in a relationship with a man, and it is getting to a year with no words of a marriage coming up. They get agitated and worried that the man is not proposing.

The truth is, not every man that comes your way will propose. Relationships have different purposes and if you make the mistake of thinking all should lead to a proposal, you will be disappointed.

Some relationships are just for friendship, nothing more. You should be able to decipher between a relationship that is just for friendship and the one that can lead to marriage so you will not disturb yourself thinking about what may not happen.

 7. He must be from your tribe/state/country

Most ladies cannot date nor marry any man outside their tribe/state/country. The man you want to marry must be from your place. You will stay long o, sister. Love knows no boundary, tribe, state or country. It can happen with whoever from wherever. All you need to do is to open your heart to love whoever God has appointed for you.

There you have it. The unrealistic expectations about men you must drop if you want to attract a responsible man to marry.

Now, close your eyes and imagine a responsible man showing up and coming into your life

Imagine having a blissful relationship that eventually leads to an engagement with marriage in the pipeline.

Now, open your eyes.

Is this possible?

Yes, very possible.

But there is one barrier holding it back from you.  It is the unrealistic expectations about men you are still holding.

Discard them and the man you have been longing for will come into your life.

New Post has been published on https://relationshipmatas101.com/lady-lose-interest-in-you/

7 Shocking Things that can Make a Lady Lose Interest in You

It is gradually sinking in.

She is not picking your calls nor replying to your texts

You’ve been trying to get in touch with her, but to no avail

You even begged her friend to help you speak to her

But all efforts are meeting a brick wall.

You keep wondering: Is she losing interest in me or just stressed?

You know you don’t steal, cheat or beat women

So, what can be responsible for it?

Hmmm! Take heart brother, it is obvious.

Sometimes in a relationship, one party loses interest in the other. You keep wondering what you’ve done to deserve it.

In this article, I will show you 7 shocking things that can do to make a lady lose interest in you.

Let’s get started.

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 1.  You make her your emotional crutch

People have problems, I get it. What I don’t get is when a man tries to dump all his problems on his lady because he can’t handle them.

I am not saying you shouldn’t share your problems with her, after all, a problem shared is half-solved, but don’t dump your problems on her all the time.

Today, it is your boss at work, tomorrow it is one of your siblings, who know what it will be next week? You should be able to deal with some things on your own without running to her like a coward.

It can be tiring and it can make the lady lose interest in you very fast.

 2.  You are a gentle man and not a Gentleman

Do you know there is a difference between a gentle man and a Gentleman?

No.? Ok. I will tell you.

The words “gentle man” are two words. It means a man that is gentle. A gentle man is a man that doesn’t want to offend anyone. He is timid and acts cowardly. He does his things gently as if he is handling an egg. A gentle man is unsure of his actions.

On the other hand, a gentleman is a man in control. A man that exudes confidence and is ready to take on the world. He believes in himself and in the actions he takes. He is a man of principles.

Still don’t get it? Here are more.

A gentleman will treat a woman well and not spoil her

A gentleman will say what he wants to say and not what his woman wants to hear

A gentleman is who he is and not who the woman wants him to be

A gentleman makes his woman feel special, he is not a submissive wimp to his woman.

Ladies love men who are in control. Men who don’t ask for the next step to take. I mean action takers.

So, being a gentle man and not a Gentleman will make a lady lose interest in you.

3.  You stopped living your life and lives hers

You stopped living your life because you met a new girl. You shower her with love. You stopped going out with your friends and doing what you love to do. She became the center of your world and you became her pedestal.

You don’t do the hobbies that make you happy anymore. All you do is to follow her around. She tells you what to do and what not to do. And you think you can’t live without her. If you always do everything your woman says, you will never make her happy.

She will not only lose interest, but she will also introduce you to her new man.

It is a sure way to make a lady lose interest in you.

4.  You are “a boy” who needs a woman and not “a man” who desires a woman

Do you know what it means to be a boy and a not a man?

A boy is needy. He has little respect for himself to the extent that he will do anything to make a woman happy. Of course, women love that. She will play along for a while and take advantage of you until she is tired and then she will lose interest and dump you.

A man who desires a woman is different. He is in control of himself and the relationship. He stirs the ship to the best place. He is in charge. He is strongly grounded, he knows what he wants and is incredibly decisive.

Who will not want such a man?

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5.  Making yourself a limited time offer

Do you know what it means when they say a product has a “limited time offer”? It means it is a quality product that will soon go out of circulation if you don’t buy it on time.

Some men are like that. They make themselves look expensive. If a lady refuses to go out with you, it’s her loss.

You flaunt your possession and wealth to intimidate her. You make her realize that it is one of you in the entire world and if she misses you, her world will not be the same.

It is a sure way to make a lady lose interest in you.

6.  You rest on your laurels

You had to chase her to get her to date you. But eventually, after she gives in, you stop the chase. You forgot what you went through to get the girl of your dream.

You stopped doing the kinds of stuff that make relationship fun and exciting. You stopped making efforts in the relationship.

When you do that, it makes a lady lose interest in you since you can no longer deliver. It gets boring if there is no more chasing.

7.  You are like a boat floating unguided over the waves

In those days, it is common to see children with paper boats by a small stream. They throw the boat into the water and watch it move. The wave of the water will start carrying the boat up and down.

That is how a man that lacks direction behaves.

Hear this:

Ladies will not like you.

If you don’t have a life ambition, it means you are an NFA (no future ambition). You have no passion for what you want to do or be in life.

You just allow the current of life to carry you to wherever the wind is blowing, your woman will not be with you for long. It is a sure way to make a lady lose interest in you.

Women love ambitious men. Men who make effort to succeed in life. It is a sign of a good future, you know.

Conclusion

The 7 things mentioned above can make a lady lose interest in you.

I am sure the thought of your lady losing interest in you makes you cringe.

So, what can be done to prevent your lady from losing interest in you?

Be a man and handle your issues. Don’t depend on her for your emotional sustenance. If you can’t handle them, seek help.

Be a Gentleman that lives his life, takes her along and creates a space for both of you to grow.

Be in charge! Be in control! Be active and independent of her. Live your own life and take her along for the ride of her life! Do not live by everything she says but instead live by your own rules.

Don’t brag! Don’t boast! Just be who you are. She will love you for it.

Don’t stop the chase. Give her the things she doesn’t even know she wants! Take her to places she never knew exists.

New Post has been published on https://relationshipmatas101.com/man-lose-interest-in-a-relationship/

7 Surprising things that make a man lose interest in a relationship (No. 7 is annoying)

That’s it. No calls. No text. No visit.

Another day is over without his usual calls to check up on you.

You raised the issue with him, but he gave you a load of excuses on why he has not been calling as usual.

In fact, you have been the one calling lately.

And you can’t help thinking…

Is he losing interest or just busy?

Will our relationship ever work out?

Deep down within you, you know you can’t carry on like this.

One way or another, something has to change

Hmmm!  Sister, it is time to wake up. 

There are telltale signs to watch out for when a man loses interest in a relationship and in this article, I will deal with 7 of such signs so you will know if he is losing interest or just busy.

Are you ready?

Let’s get started.

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1.  He is an apartment renter and not a home buyer

I know you are familiar with the real estate business where you live. Some people give out their house for rent. That means anyone who wants to rent a house can always pay for a specific time of stay. They can either renew their payment when it is due or find another apartment to rent.

Some men are like that.  They are just looking for “ladies to rent”. They are not looking for a long-term relationship. They only want a lady who will be there to satisfy their needs for the meantime.

Other people who are financially buoyant can buy a house. Such people are not looking for houses to rent. They are looking for women to marry and not ‘rent’.

If your man falls into the first category i.e. the apartment renter, he will lose interest in you very fast because he is just renting your “space”. When he is done with you, he will move on to other available “spaces”.

So, it is easy for such a man to lose interest in a relationship with you.

The question is:

Are you dating an “apartment renter,” or a “home buyer,”?

He cannot chase someone who is behind him

This one will sting, so get ready ladies!

Some men are achievers. They are gunning for the top of their profession. They are professionally certified or reading to get certified. They are running one course after the other either offline or online. Most men who are achievers always love their women to also tag along educationally or otherwise.

And you are there sitting down with your Bachelor’s degree. You have no drive to read more. You are satisfied with where you are. You have no plans to move forward in your professional career. You are done with education!.

If your guy is an over-achiever, watching you stay put in a place and refusing to leave your comfort zone won’t cut it. Perhaps, he has even advised you on several occasions to up your game, but you are just comfortable with whom you are and where you are.

Hmmm! This is a recipe for your man to lose interest in you quick.

3.  The dude has his eyes on a new “hottie”

Remember the apartment rental I mentioned above, most of them don’t stop renting.  They will go to other fine places to look for newly built modern houses to rent.

Some guys are like that too.  They are constantly searching for slaying ladies in their office, entertainment places, school, etc.  Whenever they get a new lady, they lose interest in you very fast.

The truth is, men are fired up with the thrill of a new chase. He will stay with you for as long as there is no other option in sight. But as soon as a new opportunity arrives, you become an old story.

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4.  You are not a “ride or die”

“A ride or die” means you are a liability and not an asset to your man. Your man will evaluate your value based on what you bring to the table. He will consider the value you are adding to his life and goals.

If instead of improving his life, you made it bitter; you are not adding value to his life.

If you are constantly nagging him or pressuring his life, thereby distorting his vision, you are not adding value to his life.

If he feels that you are not beneficial to his life and his dreams, he will pack his bags mentally and follow suit physically in no time.

 5.  He has eaten the forbidden fruit

Call it old school or something else, I still believe in no sex till after marriage.

When there is nothing to look forward to in a relationship, it is boring.

When instead of keeping yourself, you freely give yourself to your man for as many time and he wants, it will be boring. It is a matter of time, it will park up.

Because:

Sex does not make a man likes you more or want to marry you. It is a thing to treasure and keeps till the right time. It will be challenging, but rewarding. So, sex is one reason men lose interest in a relationship.

6.  You did not cut the umbilical cord

It is good to be close to family members at all times. But sister, you need to watch if it is becoming too much.

You will need to sever the umbilical cord in time if you want your relationship to succeed.

If you still have an unhealthy bond with your family and you prefer to be with them most of the time than going out with your man, it is a recipe for failure.

I am not saying you shouldn’t relate with your family members, all I am saying is that you create time for your relationship. Your man needs your attention as much as your family does.

This can be the reason your man is losing interest in your relationship.

You turn him to your ATM

This is common. In fact, most ladies go into relationships because they need someone to take care of their financial needs.

Once a man comes into your life, you automatically become his responsibility. You want him to handle your daily upkeep, your pocket money, your recharge cards, your school fees, etc.

Once you ask for money, he should send it immediately with no delay. This is the reason you see many young and upwardly mobile men running away from dating relationships.  They can’t cope because of incessant demands from ladies who have turned them into an ATM.

What to do when he loses interest in you?

Discovering that your man is no longer interested in a relationship with you sucks. It really does.

Particularly when there is no hope in sight.

But simple changes to your lifestyle and attitude can have dramatic effects on your relationship.

There are things you can control in all the points listed above.

Let’s start with that.

You could add more value to your life by getting more education and skills. Go back to school and read more.

Do you know one secret? 

You can learn for FREE.

FREE? How? 

There are schools online that offer free education.  There are platforms online such as Allison where you can learn for free.

Have you checked YouTube lately? There are billions of videos on “How-To’s” you can watch to learn.

When you learn more either online or offline, it will affect your income positively. You wouldn’t have to depend on your man for everything. This will also add value to your life. You won’t be a liability but an asset to your man.

Create time for your relationship and keep yourself for your future husband. It pays to live a chaste life.

Now, to those things, you can’t control, such as dating an apartment renter and having his eyes on new “hotties” in town. Get to know your man well before you agree to date.

Now is the time to get up and do the right thing.

New Post has been published on https://relationshipmatas101.com/right-time-to-commit-to-a-relationship/

5 Proven Ways to know the Right Time to Commit to a Relationship (even if you are confused)

Marriage to the right person makes you free to be the person you really are.

You held the card in your hands; it is another wedding card invitation from one of your friends.

As you looked at the card, questions popped up in your mind.

When will it be my turn? When will I send out my wedding invitation cards to friends?

It is not as if you don’t have a partner; you do.  But the thought of making a commitment is daunting.

As you put down the invitation card, you sigh.

It feels like you can never commit to a relationship. You have a good partner you could consider, but you are worried they might not be the one.

You’re afraid of making a commitment to a wrong person. You are afraid of staying single for a long time. You worry you may not start a family at the right time. But if you don’t make a commitment, you might lose the love of your life to someone else.

You think the answer to having a good marriage is love and If you love your partner, everything will be all right.

The truth is, loving your partner is not the only thing there is to a good home. There are other things you need to consider before you commit to a relationship.

The reason you are running away from commitment is that you don’t know what to look for in a relationship.

In this article, I will show you five good ways to know when it is time for you to commit to a relationship.

Let’s get started.

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1.  When you love to sing and they love to dance

It is important to share similar dreams and passions with your partner. Sharing similar dreams and passions with your partner gives you a point of connection that can make your relationship last long.

You may not have the same dreams and passions, but at least there should be one or two things the two of you love to do. It can be similar passions for hobbies, songs, movies, books, etc. For instance, you may love to read historical books and your partner also love to read the same.

You need to be on the same or similar wavelength with your partner to make your relationship work.

 There must be something you like they also like. If there is nothing both of you shared, it will be hard to live together. If you love singing and they love to dance, it makes a good combo.

2.  When it is attraction all the way!

The first thing you need to think about when you are planning to commit to a relationship is the attraction. Are you attracted to your partner?

There should be a connection physically, spiritually and intellectually. If you are not on the same level, it should be close.

Let me ask you a question.

Can you picture a life with someone you are not physically attracted to? How are you going to manage it? It simply won’t work!

Attraction should be the first thing on your mind. Do you love her shape? Do you like his stature? You must admire their physical composition.

Your partner must be intellectually attracted to you. When I say that, I mean, they must be able to reason with the same or similar frequency as you.

For example, you are sending a text to someone and you forget the spelling of a word and you ask your partner to help and they are just looking at you like “what is this one saying”.

To create a balance here, if your partner is not intellectually sound, that does not mean they are not the one. You can invest in their education. Teach them how to learn from the internet. Teach them how to learn from YouTube by watching educational videos. Upgrade their knowledge so they can be on par with you.

The point is, make sure it is attraction all the way!

3.  When you are gossip mates

Friendship is very important in a relationship. Friends are open to each other. Friends have nothing to hide from each other. Friends keep each other’s secret safe. Friends don’t hurt each other. Friends look out for the comfort of one another.

Is your partner your friend? Do you love to spend time in their company without thinking you are wasting your time?

Are they the first person you call in the morning and the last at night? Do you love to share your problems with them and seek their counsel when going through problems at work and in your personal life?

4.  When you know what makes them thick

When you are ready to commit to a relationship, you must not know them in and out. All your questions must have been answered. You must know who they are, where they come from, their likes and dislikes, etc.

Are all your questions answered?

When you look at your relationship, do you feel you know all there is to know?  There is nothing hidden anywhere? You ensure that you don’t have pending questions that need answers. Make sure they are all sorted out before you make a commitment.

Strange things happen every day. I am sure you don’t want to be surprised. Imagine you take your partner to a popular eatery in town and a man saw her there and goes “Is this not Jane?  Jane that stole my money and disappeared into thin air?’ What an embarrassment that will be?

Know your partner in and out before you make a commitment.

5.  When you have similar views on values and issues

As humans, we grew up in a different environment. This implies that we have different upbringing and different values. But naturally, a good family should bring up children with good values. Therefore, you need to ensure that your partner has good values.

Are they honest? Do they respect you as much as you respected them? Are they humble and not flamboyant? Do they have a lovely character?

Do you share the same or similar views on issues? It is not a must you must have the same opinion, it can be different, but not at all times. You are reasoning about A, your partner disagrees and takes you to Z. Your opinions and values about life should be similar.

Marriage is a huge commitment, but marriage to the right person makes you free to be the person you really are.

Conclusion

Imagine receiving another invitation card again, but this time you are happy you’ve found the right person and you are ready to commit to a relationship.

Instead of sighing and worrying about making a wrong choice of a marriage partner, you can look forward to a marital bliss with your loved one.

All because you know the things you should look for when you are thinking of committing to a relationship.

Sounds impossible? It’s not.

Look into your relationship through the eyes of the points raised above, and then, you will know whether you want to commit to a relationship. You won’t be confused anymore.

Now, you have the road map – all you need is to chart your course.

New Post has been published on https://relationshipmatas101.com/warnings-signs-of-a-toxic-relationship/

7 Ways to Know you are in a Toxic Relationship (and what to do about it)

Your desire is to be successfully married to a responsible spouse.

But you know it is nearly impossible with your current relationship unless something changes.

Sure you love your partner, but it’s not like they are raving about you or tripping over you.

You are concerned that you are not getting as much attention from them as you want.

Unless you recognize the relationship you are in and act accordingly, your desire to be happily married will be a mirage.

The thing is: Most people are in a toxic relationship and they don’t even know it. They keep hoping that their partners will change or that things will change for the best. But I tell you, that kind of people hardly change, except they give their lives to Christ.

So, what are the warning signs of a toxic relationship?

Below are 7 glaring scenarios that will make it easy for you to identify a toxic relationship.

Let’s get started.

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1.   When the thought of a future with them makes you more anxious than excited.

Naturally, when you are in a relationship with someone and you know it could lead to marriage, you should be excited. The thought of living together with someone you love forever should make you happy.

However, there is a problem when you are in a relationship and you feel anxious about the future. You don’t know if the marriage will last. You don’t know whether you can live with him or her peacefully. You are worried about the future with them.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a level of anxiety you have when you are about getting married, but it is not the type that will overshadow your joy. If you feel more anxious than you are excited at the thought of being together with them in the future, you need to check it. You may be in a toxic relationship.

2.   When you crave being away from them increasingly

One signal that shows you love someone is the fact you will always want to be with them. You want to spend your time with them and enjoy their presence. You want to hear them tell you more about their work or vocation.

However, when it gets to the point where instead of craving to be with them, you prefer to be somewhere else with your friends. You just want to be alone without them. Their presence no longer excites you. It no longer thrills you the way it used to, you are probably in an unhealthy or toxic relationship.

  3.  When you feel you’re walking on eggshells with them

Have you ever being in a relationship where you watch your words? You can’t say what you feel or tell your partner your decision regarding an important issue in your relationship.

You are afraid of their response. They can slap you or just shut you down. Your opinion about the relationship is no longer valid. You are just careful to make suggestions because the outcome might be detrimental. Friend, you are in a toxic relationship.

  4.   When you feel you wouldn’t be anything without them in your life

This happens when your partner has taken over your life completely. They make decisions for you. They tell what to eat and what not to eat. They tell you where to go and where not to go. They tell what kind of cloth to wear.

Hmmm! You are in a toxic relationship. I heard of a lady who was so concerned about her diet she wanted to impose it on her partner. She will always tell him “don’t eat that because it is bad. Stop eating this because it is not healthy”.

She threw away most of the food the guy loves to eat with the aim they are not “healthy”. Of course, the relationship did not last long. The guy got tired and called it quits. The thing is, don’t control your partner, it is toxic. Allow them to be themselves and do what they like. If you are in this kind of relationship, it is a toxic one.

5.   When it is difficult to reach a middle ground or compromise without resentment.   

For relationships to thrive, the two parties involved must be ready to compromise for the sake of the relationship. You can’t stand your ground on all the issues in your relationship and refuse to compromise.

If your partner does not want to reach a compromise on any issue, they want you to do what they want all the time. You are in a toxic relationship. Relationships involve two individuals and the two must be ready to make it work at all time.

   6.   When they compare you to other people

This is common in relationships, especially if your partner has been in a relationship before they met you. If all they do is to compare you with their ex, you need to watch it. It is a toxic relationship.

When they don’t commend your effort on any issue. They say “oh, if it is Jane, she would have called me early in the morning, but you don’t call until late at night”. If it is Jude, he would have bought several things for me, but you are just stingy”. The thing is, all relationships are not equal. When you find yourself in such a relationship, it is not healthy for you.

7.   When they expect you to change entirely to fit their criteria.

Relationships are not meant for changing one another. Two different people come together from different families. You can’t expect your partner to always behave like you. You have a different upbringing and values. When your partner wants you to change your life so you will be like them, you will have problems.

Every individual has unique traits, no two persons are alike, even twins that come from the same womb. So, when you are trying to change yourself to fit your partner’s specification, you are surely in a toxic relationship. Although there are good traits you can pick up from your partner, it should not be forced, do it willingly.

What to do about a toxic relationship? End it or Persevere?

The danger of staying and persevering in a toxic relationship is that it can affect you physically and emotionally. I read a piece of content from a lady who related all she went through with her partner. She said he made her feel like she is nothing. She can’t be anything in life. He degraded her so much, so she lost her confidence. She found the courage to leave the relationship and now she is trying to rebuild her life. It can be that serious.

New Post has been published on https://relationshipmatas101.com/when-to-leave-a-relationship/

7 Glaring Ways to Know When it is Time to Leave a Relationship

Your heart tells you it is time to quit

But you are finding it difficult to do so

You still love her

You have always done.

But you know your relationship has no future

You can’t curtail her excesses.

It is not as if you don’t know what to do

You do.

But you are waiting for the right time to leave the relationship.

The truth is, I feel you.

I have been there before.

I shared with you briefly in the last article titled “10 Surprising Ways to Know When someone is not right for you”.

I knew I had to break the relationship

It wasn’t easy.

But I did and I have never regretted my decision.

The thing is:

Few people go into relationships to end it abruptly. Everyone looks for a long-lasting relationship. But the truth is, as you get to know each other more, you will see the good, the bad and the ugly sides of one another. It is at such time you will need to decide on whether to stay or leave if you are finding it difficult to cope.

Every relationship has its ups and down. It is advisable to work it out first to see whether things would change before you think of the option to leave the relationship. When you decide to quit, you also need to know when to live.

People find it difficult to break away from a relationship because they are either waiting for the right time to leave or waiting for their partner to change.

Ready!

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I will illustrate these two scenarios with one story each.

Read and pay attention carefully.

Waiting for the right time to leave a relationship is like a frog that was immersed in a pot of cold water and placed on a fire. The fire was ignited and the temperate of the water rose. 

The frog adjusted its body temperature to the environment as the heat rises. Then, the temperature became unbearable when it was getting to the boiling point and the frog decided to jump out.

But alas, it was too late. It tried to jump but there was no more strength. It had used all of its strength in adjusting to the rising water temperature. Not too long the frog died.

I want to ask you a question.

What really killed the frog?

Is it the heat from the water or the inability of the frog to decide to jump out at the right time?

It is the later.  The frog refused to jump out when the opportunity was there.

The same thing happens when you refused to come out of a relationship that is not meant to be.

Staying too long might affect you psychologically and emotionally.

The second story is on waiting for a change.

You become optimistic that your partner will change or you outrightly decide to change them.

Imagine the scenario below:

Imagine you are on your way to your office, which is about 20 minutes’ drive from your house.

You wait at the bus stop close to your house for a bus

You waited for 5 minutes, but there was no bus

15 minutes … no bus

A thought crossed your mind – Had I walked instead of waiting I would have been in the office by now.

But, each time you want to walk, a thought strikes your mind ‘What if’ the bus arrives the minute I leave?”

So you continue to wait hoping the bus would come soon.

The things is, you cannot predict when the bus will arrive. What if it doesn’t arrive after all.

Many people are in bad relationships because they are thinking of the “what ifs”. This includes:

What if I get no one to marry me

What if he changes

What if he stops cheating, etc?

Forget about the “what ifs”, they are situations you don’t have control over. Deal with the situation you can control instead.

So, in this article, we will look at the right time to leave a relationship.

Let’s get started

1.   When you notice warning signs

If you would be honest with yourself, you would know there have been warning signs staring you in the face. It is only that you have ignored them and move on with the relationship. Some warning signs you can look out for are:

You can’t wait for them to drop the phone. You are bored of them already.

You no longer look forward to spending time with your partner

You fight often

Long night calls turn to a few minutes in a day

You choose to spend time with your friends, phone or job

You are feeling lonely in the relationship

The relationship is one-sided.

2.  When there is any form of Abuse in the relationship

This is very important. I have seen where a guy beats up his partner while they still dated. That is enough reason to leave the relationship already. If you are waiting for an abusive partner to change, you can as well plan your burial program.

If a guy or a lady is abusing you physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally, etc. It is time to leave already.

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3.  When you have lost the passion or desire to be with each other

Do you remember when you first fall in love with her? You couldn’t do without seeing her in a day. You call her several times during the day to find out how she is doing.  You visit after work hours just to have a glimpse of your love.

But suddenly, you got tired of her and you find it difficult to reignite the passion. You hardly call as you used to. You don’t have the desire to always be with them. either

Friend, it is time to let her go.

4.  When your partner is a cheater

If you are in a relationship with a serial cheater, and you have tried to make it work, but it keeps happening, it is better to leave the relationship than hope they will change. 

It is a difficult decision to make, but it not impossible. If your partner is cheating now while you are dating, it will not stop after marriage.

When you are continuously unhappy and unfulfilled

Ordinarily, you should be happy in your relationship. This is because it is based on a love that gives and takes. Even if you fight, it should be easy to reconcile and move on. If you are constantly unhappy and unfulfilled, it is better to quit.

6.  When you are incompatible and neither of you is willing to make to work it out

If you discover that both of you are not compatible and neither you nor he is ready to resolve the incompatibility or work it out together, then the relationship will not work. You must be ready to compromise and sacrifice to make your relationship work.  It takes two to make a relationship work. It may be time to leave the relationship.

7.  When your reasons to live outweighs your reasons to stay

Like I said above, many people stay in bad relationships because they are thinking of “what if’s”. When you have exhausted your “what ifs” and it does not outweigh your reasons to leave, you will take the necessary step to leave the relationship.

Relationships are fun. But it is not a do or die affair.

If you allow people to exploit you physically, emotionally, financially and otherwise, they will continue to do so. It is time to say ‘No’ and leave such relationships.

Now, it is your turn.

New Post has been published on https://relationshipmatas101.com/how-to-know-someone-is-not-right-for-you/

10 Surprising Ways to Know when Someone is not Right for you

It has always been your heart desire to have a good marriage.

But you know it is not possible unless you are in a relationship with the right partner.

Sure, you have been in a couple relationship, but the people you have dated don’t seem to be ‘it’.

You are worried that you don’t know if the person you are with is the right one for you.

The thing is, unless you know this truth; you are bound to enter a wrong marriage.

A wrong marriage can lead to uncoordinated life and much worse consequences.

I bet you; you don’t want to be there.

The question is,

How do you know when someone is not right for you?

Let me share part of my story to encourage you.

Before I got married 10 years ago, I was in a relationship with a guy (that should be about 12 years ago). We loved each other and planned to get married.

One day, I was praying, and I asked God about this guy. Is he the right man for me? The answer I got was confusing. He gave me a bible verse to let me know the guy is not His best for me.

I did not really grasp the meaning of the verses until weeks later when things unraveled. There and then, I understood that he is not the right man for me.

How did I know?

Secrets came out days later.

He had lied for the most part of the relationship.

So many lies I can’t recall here.

At the end of the day, I called it quits.

How did I do it?  I will tell you in my next post “How to walk away from a relationship”.

Few months after we called it quits, he got married and six months into the relationship; he was gone.

Your choice of a relationship partner matters a lot to you, God and your destiny in life. If you miss it, it will be difficult to make things fall into their rightful places.

Well, below I have pointers that will help you spot someone who is not right for you.

Let’s get started.

1.   Values

Most of us grew up in homes where values were instilled in us. We learned how to respect our elders. We learned how to always tell the truth, shun lies and not cheat. We were taught to love one another and treat people with respect. If you grew up in such a home, you will hold these values dear to your heart as you grow up to become a man/woman.

Now, if you are in a relationship with someone without these values, it can be dangerous. Someone who does not know what it means to tell the truth. Someone who will always cheat behind your back. Someone who does not respect you. Then, he or she may not be right for you.

2.   Family

The family unit is a very important thing to consider when choosing who to marry. The family comprises of a mother, a father, and the children.  A dysfunctional home will produce dysfunctional children. So check the family your partner is coming from.

Do they still have parents? Are the parents living together? Are they divorced? Etc. You need to know.  A man that grew up seeing his father beat his mother will think beating women is normal once they misbehave.

A lady that grew up in a home where verbal abuse is the order of the day will think it’s fun to abuse her man. Look deeply into the family structure.

3.   Finances

Finances!  This is the big one. Everyone loves money. What value does your partner hold regarding earning, spending and saving money?  Do they believe in spending all you have now and hoping for more in the future? Do they believe in the culture of spending some and saving some for raining days?

Do they love to buy expensive wears even if their salary is not sufficient for such live styles?  You have to know. Do they disturb you for money all the time? Are they ready to also assist you when you are in need financially? You have to know.

Courting someone who loves to spend their earnings on frivolities does not signify a future for you. Someone who hates the idea of saving will not be the right person for you. On the other hand, someone who believes in saving all and spending none is not an ideal partner for you. You will suffer. So make the right choice.

4.   Friendship

I advocate that you date a friend. It matters a lot. Be friends first before you start any relationship. During the friendship phase, you will get to know each other’s likes and dislikes and you will be free to communicate. When you start a relationship together, it will be easy to be honest, not hiding anything from one another.

If you can’t befriend the man or woman in your life, it will be difficult to cope in the future. Love will wane, but friendship will forever be there. If you are not friends with your partner, look for a friend you can always relate to.

5.   Connection

Have you ever being in a relationship where you find it difficult to connect with your partner?  I mean, they are just on a different frequency.

Emotionally, they are off. You don’t feel it down in your heart. You dialed their emotional number and all you can get is “the number you are dialing is not available, please try again later”.

For how long do you want to be trying? If you are finding it hard to connect with the person, then it may not work. Having a connection is very important to the sustenance of a relationship.

6.   You feel you need to move mountains to make them move 2 inches

If your partner is not ready to sacrifice his/her time for the growth of the relationship, then they may not be the right one for you.

Everyone creates time for what they prioritize in their lives. If you find it difficult to get them to go on a date with you, talk with you on the phone, chat with you each time, you need to switch your gear and move forward. Communication and getting together is very important to the health of your relationship.

7.   Your weaknesses are always highlighted

If you are in a relationship with someone who only loves to shove your weaknesses in your face, then you are not right for one another. Everyone has weaknesses in them, but it is not good to always use it against each other.

A good partner will help you to be strong in areas where you are weak, and not flaunting it in your face all the time.

You compromise heavily

This is a good one. If you find out you are always compromising your values to please your partner all the time, it may not work. You know it is good to save money, but she won’t just allow it. She wants every new thing in the fashion store. She wants to wear the latest.

If your partner is always pushing you to do what you know is not morally right, they may not be the right person for you.

9.   They make YOUR decisions

Have you ever been in a relationship where your opinions are not valued? You want to make contributions, but they shut you up. Even if you want to make decisions for yourself, they are right there to make it for you. 

They make you look so dumb. Did you get it? That is no longer a healthy relationship.  You will always be treated like a child. It is obvious your partner is not the right one for you.

10.   You become someone you are not

If you are unlucky to fall into a relationship where your partner is slowly changing you to what you are not originally, it is time to call it quits. Someone that wants to teach you how to smoke or take alcoholic drinks is not someone you can be with.

Before you meet them, you don’t know how to tell lies, but because they are liars, you also learned how to tell lies. There is an adage that says, “show me your friends and I will show you who you are”. If you notice that your partner’s bad behavior is rubbing off on you, please take your leave, they are not for you.

Friends, love is beautiful, when you are in a relationship with the right partner. It is a huge problem if it is otherwise.

New Post has been published on https://relationshipmatas101.com/playing-hard-to-get/

5 Frightening Reasons to Stop Playing hard to Get

You’ve heard of playing hard to get, right?

Here’s the scenario:

You are beautiful

Several men have asked for a date with you

But, you think you shouldn’t tell them ‘yes’ immediately

It’s not as if you are not interested in their proposal

You simply want them to ask and ask again before you say ‘yes’

So, you play hard to get to make them work for it.

You want to be chased. You are simply enjoying the game.

You know what?

It is time to stop that game.

The thing is, many ladies believe if you say yes to a man at the first instance, he may not value you.  But if you say no and he continues to pester you until you say yes, it means he really loves you and he will value you.

How wrong they are.

That you said ‘yes’ to a man when he asks you out does not mean he will value you less or that you will look cheap in his eyes. Also, that you say ‘no’ to a man to make him pursue you more does not make you valuable or expensive in his eyes.

To balance this up, a healthy dose of playing hard to get may be necessary. At least once or twice. But don’t you overdo it!

Why?

Check out the frightening reasons below:

1.   You will lose a potential partner

The thing is, a good man that likes you but respect boundaries will not pester you for long. He will talk to other women. It is not because he doesn’t like you, but because it is not right to always ask a lady out for months until she agrees to go out with you.

Men who don’t respect your boundaries will still continue to pester you. It’s not because they are in love with you, but because ‘no’ means nothing to them.

They don’t care about what you want; they are only concerned about what they want.

You agreeing to date after a few requests do not make you cheap. If you wait for a man to chase you for months before you think of giving him a chance, you are setting up yourself for failure.

I have friends who missed their potential partners because they were trying to play hard to get.

2.   You will fall into wrong hands

People who only want what they can’t have don’t value what they get. For some of them, by the time they got you and they see your imperfections, they feel disappointed that they have wasted their precious time chasing an imperfect woman. Such men behave in an unacceptable manner.

They don’t value a relationship by how hard they worked to get it.

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3.   You will end up alone

Let me tell you one truth here.  Women are everywhere searching for husbands.  The thing is, good men are scarce. If you don’t want to stay alone for the rest of your life, you better stop playing hard to get. It is an express road to a life of loneliness.

4.   Men will treat you like a thing to use

Playing hard to get is the same as treating yourself as a “thing to be acquired”. Men who do not have good values will also treat you like a thing to use. Your desires and thoughts mean nothing to them. This is the reason some women complained that men treat them like their property. It is the way you present yourself that you will be treated.

5.  You will end of settling for less

After you have pursued all eligible bachelors away from you, you will have no option other than to make do with the few men who are coming around you. That is, if you are lucky to see them around.  You will then be forced to settle for less than you are worth.

Conclusion

To balance this up, I am not saying you are to say ‘yes’ to every man that asks you for a date. But be wary of men who pursue you relentlessly. If you are not interested, tell them so, and let them look for other ladies who will be interested in their proposal.

Date men who have the personal qualities you like, who complement your personality and lifestyle, and who treat you well.

New Post has been published on https://relationshipmatas101.com/how-to-know-when-someone-really-loves-you-even-if-they-dont-say-it/

How to know when someone really loves you (even if they don’t say it)

You are in a relationship

You deeply love your partner

But you are not sure whether your partner loves you as much as you love them.

You’ve tried all you could to love him in your own way, but the love is not reciprocated, you thought.

Sure, you get an occasional nice comment about your looks, but it’s not like he is raving about you, or tripping over you.

You feel he does not love you after all.

And there is this nagging question bugging your mind.

Am I really sure he loves me?

Good question.

I once lived with a couple where the man does not like uttering the words “I love you”. He is not just a word-man. I kept telling him he is not romantic. But does he loves his wife, yeah, He does.

How did I know?

By his actions.

You may be in love with someone who does not like saying “I love you”, or they don’t tell you as often as you need to hear it.

Not to worry, I have compiled twenty (20) actions you can watch out for to know if they really love you or not.

Let’ get started.

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1.  Your happiness would be their priority. If someone is really in love with you, they will make you their priority. They can sacrifice anything to make you happy. When you see such a person, know they really love you even though they are not saying it verbally..

2.   He appreciates both your good character and flaws.Take it or leave it, we all have our bad sides. It is not enough to love what is good about you, your partner should also love your flaws.

3.   He knows something is bothering you by looking at your face or hearing your voice.He should be so familiar with you to the extent that he knows when you are happy and sad. He should know when something is bothering you by merely looking at your face or hearing your voice.

4.   Whenever you are sad or depressed, he’s always there to cheer you uSometimes in life when you will be depressed, probably if things are not working the way you plan.  At such moments, your partner should be there for you cheering you up and not aggravating the situation.

5.   He doesn’t overreact when you make mistakes.He understands that we are all humans and as human beings; we are bound to make mistakes. He doesn’t scold you unnecessarily for your mistakes. He corrects you in love and encourages you to move on.

6.   He is your biggest fan.It doesn’t matter whether you are doing it right or wrong; he is there to cheer you up. He doesn’t pull you down with his words, telling you-you cannot do it. He tells you, you can achieve anything you set your heart to.

7.   He desires progress for you in your career and future.  He encourages you to move forward in your academic and career pursuits. He wants you to be at the top of your. He doesn’t mind if you are well-read than him or you hold a higher position than him.

8.   He respects your opinions.He doesn’t discard your opinions on issues that concern him and your relationship. He listens to it. Even if he disagrees, he tells you the reason for it. He gives you a voice when it is time to make decisions.

9.   He protects you.He protects you whenever you are with him and when you are not with him. He stands up for you when anyone speaks against you.

10.   He adds you to his future.He doesn’t speak about the future without your role in it. He talks about how the two of you will live together and have kids. Whenever he paints the picture for the future, you are always in it.

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11.   He eyes are a window to his soul.You can see through his eyes that he loves you. Not only you, even your friends can attest to it whenever you are together.

12.   He is not ashamed to introduce you to his friends and family.Whenever you are together and he sees his friends; he doesn’t shy away from introducing you as his girlfriend.

13.   You have some kind of connection between the two of you.You are somehow connected with each other. Whenever you want something, he knows what you want.

14.   He cannot imagine losing you. The thought of losing you make him afraid. He cannot imagine living a life without you in it.  

15.   He may not say it (I love you), all the time, but his actions tell you he loves you.

16.   He knows most detail about you.  He knows your favorite color, food, car, drink, etc. He knows the tiniest details about you. He remembers all your likes and dislikes.

17.   With him, it’s never you and me, it’s us.He includes you in his decisions and sees the two of you as one.

18.   He seeks for your opinion before taking decisions.He doesn’t take decisions without your input. He asks for your opinion before he takes actions. He does nothing without you knowing about it.

19.   He will never force you to do anything.He doesn’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do.

20.   He cares for you even when he’s angry with you.When you find someone who loves you these much, never let him or her go.

Conclusion

“I love you” isn’t what you think it looks like. It’s not romantic dates and holding hands. 

“I love you” is taking care of someone when they’re blackout drunk and throwing up.

“I love you” is popping back pimples and still kissing through the runny noses winter brings.

“I love you” is being held while violently sobbing because of an anxiety attack.

“I love you” is discussing what your morning breath smells like with each other.

“I love you” is ” I don’t want to but I will do it for you and only you”

It’s all the good, the bad, the gross, the beautiful and ugly things about life and embracing that in each other.

It’s your turn,

New Post has been published on https://relationshipmatas101.com/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-for-a-relationship-or-not/

How To Know If You Are Ready For A Relationship Or Not

A relationship is much like any other vocation in life. To be whatever you want to be in life, you need to get trained or be prepared for it.

For example, it takes about seven years to be a medical doctor. You can’t just wake up one day and declare yourself to be a doctor. That is how it is with relationships. It is like a medical doctor profession or any other profession and it needs preparation.

You must be ready for it before you ask that girl out on a date. You must be ready before you agree to go out on a date with that guy.

To help you know if you are ready to start a relationship, I have compiled seven points that can guide you below.

Let’s get started.

1.   You Love Yourself

“You don’t find your worth in a man. You find your worth within yourself and then find a man who’s worthy of you.  Remember that.” Anonymous.

The first thing that will show you whether you are ready for a relationship is self-love. i.e. Loving yourself.

But wait?

What does it mean to love yourself?

Loving yourself means you care for yourself in a way that no one else does. It means you prioritize your dreams and say no to things that do not fit into them. It means creating a future you visualize.

It is very important for you to love yourself first before you go into any relationship. It will help you define the boundaries. Otherwise, you discover that you will dance to every idea your partner suggests.

For example, I know a lady who was dark-skin originally. She got involved with a boyfriend who loves light skinned ladies. When she found out, she bleached her skin so he will not leave her. She is light-skinned now.

Do you know the problem now?

They dated for a long time and finally got married. It was not up to a year before they split up.  She was trying to live up to the expectations of the man.  She wanted to be everything the man needs in a woman. It is not possible.  You’ve got to be comfortable in your own skin.

If you love yourself, no man can persuade you or change you to who you are not.

So, how do you love yourself?

How to love yourself

The following are diverse ways you can love yourself.

Own your thoughts and opinions and allow no one to change them for you.

Follow your heart and be truthful

Allow no one to bring you down

Believe in yourself and know you can achieve anything you set your heart on

Step out of your comfort zones to try new things you’ve always wanted.

Therefore, love yourself first before loving others.

2.  Know your self-worth

The second thing you need to know before you go into any relationship is your self-worth. Imagine you walk into a supermarket and you noticed a beautiful item without a price tag.  Instead of the price, you are asked to pay whatever you want. You will either underpay or overpay.  But what happens when you see the price tag on it?  You immediately know it’s worth. For most items, their price determines their worth.

What price are you placing on yourself?  Do you realize your self-worth?

Knowing yourself worth will help you present yourself in such a way that other people will love and respect you.

Look at the quote below:

“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your words to someone, you have already forgotten your value“.

A valuable item need not prove to anyone that it is valuable. It is simply valuable in its own class.

Look at another quote:

“When you learn how much you’re worth, you’ll stop giving people discounts.”

Wow! That is amazing.  Knowing how much you are worth will help you get treated the right way.

The truth is, your self-worth is the currency that other people will use to transact with. You deserve much more because you are worth it. You cannot afford to settle for less and accept whatever is been dished out to you. Don’t allow anyone to treat you less than you are worth.

Therefore, make sure you build your self-worth to the point where you are confident of yourself.

Self-respect, self-worth, and self-love all start with self. Stop looking for your value.

3.   You are financially independent

Before you think of going into a relationship, ensure you are financially stable. Know how to manage your finances well.

Don’t be a pest on someone or make someone’ else your ATM card. It will not work.

The thing is:

A relationship is not cheap. You will need to spend money to keep it running. You may need to go on dates from time to time.

As a lady don’t depend on your man for everything you need in life. Having your own money makes it easy to meet your need without waiting for a man to do so for you.

Be ready to take on responsibility as a man in a relationship.  Don’t shy away from paying bills while on a date. If you cannot spend on your date while you are single, it will be hard to do it when you get married.

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I will never give away, trade or sell your email address. You can unsubscribe at any time.

4.    You are free from your Ex

Carrying over the hurts of the previous relationship will not help you.  Most people desire to go into another a relationship after they break up with their ex to fill the void. But instead of helping, it will further plunge you into more problems.

The issue is, you cannot mix the old with the new. Start afresh with a clean slate.

The first thing to do after a breakup is to make sure your heart heal first.  It will prevent you from making the same mistake repeatedly. Take stock of what happened in the relationship and review your inputs. Know what you did wrong and act right.

Ensure you are free from every negative emotion before you move on to the next relationship.  If you are still battling with emotions from your past relationship, it is advisable to stay put, until you can work on it and be free.

5.   You are looking for a wife/husband rather than a friend

Most singles make the mistakes of searching for a wife or a husband rather than looking for a friend.

If you are looking for a suitable partner, first make friends with them, with no thought of marriage whatsoever. That way you will get to know each other well.

If you jump the process and propose to every girl you meet, you will miss out on real love. You are ready to go into a relationship when you are ready to make friends.

Make friends with people, you never know what will come out of it. It is a great process for discovering your wife or husband to be.

6.  You are patience

Patience is a very important virtue you need to imbibe in the search of a relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone has it. You must be patient when searching for who to love or marry and when in a relationship.

Don’t be impatient about your choice. Don’t choose wrongly because you think you may not find someone else.

You know what?

That is a lie. 

I have heard matured singles say it from time to time. This has made some of them get entangled in wrong relationships. Yet, they don’t want to leave. They prefer to rather stay in it than look for new relationships.

The truth is, it is better to be single than to be with the wrong person. Patient is the key to a sweet relationship. If you are not patient enough, learn to calm down. It will happen for you at the right time.

7.   You have found your purpose and passion in life

This is a very important issue.

Before you jump into a relationship, you must have defined your life purpose and passion. You must have been what you want to be in life or you are almost completing the process to be what you want to be in life.

This means you know what your life will look like in the next 5, 10, 15 and 20 years from you. You can visualize your life where you are right now. You need no one to tell you what course you should study or what path to take in life. 

Conclusion

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Privacy Policy

Your privacy is very important to us. At Relationshipmatters, we have a few fundamental principles that we follow:

We don’t ask you for personal information unless we truly need it. (We can’t stand services that ask you for things like your gender or income level for no apparent reason.)

We don’t share your personal information with anyone except to comply with the law, develop our products, or protect our rights.

We don’t store personal information on our servers unless required for the on-going operation of our site.

It is Relationshipmatters’s policy to respect your privacy regarding any information we may collect while operating our websites.

Website Visitors

Like most website operators, Relationshipmatters collects non-personally-identifying information of the sort that web browsers and servers typically make available, such as the browser type, language preference, referring site, and the date and time of each visitor request. Relationshipmatters’s purpose in collecting non-personally identifying information is to better understand how Relationshipmatters’s visitors use its website. From time to time, Relationshipmatters may release non-personally-identifying information in the aggregate, e.g., by publishing a report on trends in the usage of its website.

Relationshipmatters also collects potentially personally-identifying information like Internet Protocol (IP) addresses for logged in users and for users leaving comments on our blog. Relationshipmatters only discloses logged in user and commenter IP addresses under the same circumstances that it uses and discloses personally-identifying information as described below, except that blog commenter IP addresses are visible and disclosed to the administrators of the blog where the comment was left.

Gathering of Personally-Identifying Information

Certain visitors to Relationshipmatters’s websites choose to interact with Relationshipmatters in ways that require Relationshipmatters to gather personally-identifying information. The amount and type of information that Relationshipmatters gathers depends on the nature of the interaction. For example, we ask visitors who comment on our blog to provide a username and email address. Those who wish to receive Relationshipmatters updates via email, we collect their emails. In each case, Relationshipmatters collects such information only insofar as is necessary or appropriate to fulfill the purpose of the visitor’s interaction with Relationshipmatters. Relationshipmatters does not disclose personally-identifying information other than as described below. And visitors can always refuse to supply personally-identifying information, with the caveat that it may prevent them from engaging in certain website-related activities.

Aggregated Statistics

Relationshipmatters may collect statistics about the behavior of visitors to its websites. For instance, Relationshipmatters may monitor the most popular pages on some websites or use spam screened by the Akismet service to help identify spam. Relationshipmatters may display this information publicly or provide it to others. However, Relationshipmatters does not disclose personally-identifying information other than as described below.

Protection of Certain Personally-Identifying Information

Relationshipmatters discloses potentially personally-identifying and personally-identifying information only to those of its employees, contractors and affiliated organizations that (i) need to know that information in order to process it on Relationshipmatters’s behalf or to provide services available at Relationshipmatters’s websites, and (ii) that have agreed not to disclose it to others. Some of those employees, contractors and affiliated organizations may be located outside of your home country; by using Relationshipmatters’s websites, you consent to the transfer of such information to them. Relationshipmatters will not rent or sell potentially personally-identifying and personally-identifying information to anyone. Other than to its employees, contractors and affiliated organizations, as described above, Relationshipmatters discloses potentially personally-identifying and personally-identifying information only in response to a subpoena, court order or other governmental request, or when Relationshipmatters believes in good faith that disclosure is reasonably necessary to protect the property or rights of Relationshipmatters, third parties or the public at large. If you are a registered user of Relationshipmatters website and have supplied your email address, Relationshipmatters may occasionally send you an email to tell you about new blog posts and products, solicit your feedback, or just keep you up to date with what’s going on with Relationshipmatters and our products. We primarily use our various product blogs to communicate this type of information, so we expect to keep this type of email to a minimum. If you send us a request (for example via a support email or via one of our feedback mechanisms), we reserve the right to publish it in order to help us clarify or respond to your request or to help us support other users. Relationshipmatters takes all measures reasonably necessary to protect against the unauthorized access, use, alteration or destruction of potentially personally-identifying and personally-identifying information.

Cookies

A cookie is a string of information that a website stores on a visitor’s computer, and that the visitor’s browser provides to the website each time the visitor returns. Relationshipmatters uses cookies to help Relationshipmatters identify and track visitors, their usage of Relationshipmatters website, and their website access preferences. Relationshipmatters visitors who do not wish to have cookies placed on their computers should set their browsers to refuse cookies before using Relationshipmatters’s websites, with the drawback that certain features of Relationshipmatters’s websites may not function properly without the aid of cookies.

Ads

Ads appearing on this website may be delivered to users by advertising partners, who may set cookies. These cookies allow the ad server to recognize your computer each time they send you an online advertisement to compile information about you or others who use your computer. This information allows ad networks to, among other things, deliver targeted advertisements that they believe will be of most interest to you. This Privacy Policy covers the use of cookies by Relationshipmatters and does not cover the use of cookies by any advertisers.

Comments

Comments and other content submitted on this website are not saved on our servers unless they were marked as false positives, in which case we store them long enough to use them to improve the service to avoid future false positives.

Privacy Policy Changes

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.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-5cebb863background-color:#ffffff;transition:background 0.3s, border 0.3s, border-radius 0.3s, box-shadow 0.3s;padding:40px 0px 30px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-5cebb863 > .elementor-background-overlaytransition:background 0.3s, border-radius 0.3s, opacity 0.3s;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-14046eb2 > .elementor-element-populatedpadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-cd4e622.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-titlecolor:#e539ac;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-cd4e622 .elementor-heading-titleline-height:1.2em;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-4ec17190color:#000000;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-3454206 a.elementor-button, .elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-3454206 .elementor-buttonbackground-color:#dd8108;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6c7ebe7f.elementor-column .elementor-column-wrapalign-items:center;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6c7ebe7f > .elementor-element-populatedmargin:-23px 0px 0px 0px;padding:10px 10px 10px 25px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-4cd79padding:20px 0px 40px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-3adfc575 > .elementor-containertext-align:left;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-3adfc575margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:-15px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-29ed5d7c > .elementor-widget-containerpadding:0px 150px 0px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-4ea882e3padding:0px 0px 22px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-532f5d91 > .elementor-widget-containermargin:0px 0px -6px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-57b4ee74 > .elementor-widget-containermargin:0px 0px -6px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-48506421 > .elementor-widget-containermargin:0px 0px -6px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-4601e24b a.elementor-button, .elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-4601e24b .elementor-buttonbackground-color:#36b560;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6dd269d6background-color:#eeeeee;transition:background 0.3s, border 0.3s, border-radius 0.3s, box-shadow 0.3s;padding:40px 0px 40px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6dd269d6 > .elementor-background-overlaytransition:background 0.3s, border-radius 0.3s, opacity 0.3s;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-450ad04c .elementor-image imgborder-radius:50% 50% 50% 50%;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-450ad04c .widget-image-captionfont-weight:bold;text-transform:uppercase;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-13cc41dd a.elementor-button, .elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-13cc41dd .elementor-buttonbackground-color:#36b560;@media(max-width:1024px).elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6c7ebe7f > .elementor-element-populatedpadding:10px 10px 10px 10px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-29ed5d7c > .elementor-widget-containerpadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6dd269d6padding:20px 0px 20px 0px;@media(max-width:767px).elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6c7ebe7f > .elementor-element-populatedmargin:16px 0px 0px 0px;padding:10px 10px 10px 10px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6dd269d6padding:20px 0px 20px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-450ad04c > .elementor-widget-containerpadding:0px 0px 20px 0px;

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What Do These Custom Settings Do?

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My extra settings, tweaks and customisations make everything work together optimally, automating various layout issues so you don’t have to worry about it.

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1. Consistent Layout

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Make sure that any layouts created by either GP or Elementor are always in line with each other and always have the same gaps between columns.

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2. Consistent Breathing Room on Mobile

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Creates nice consistent spacing at the edges of the screen on mobile—whether that particular part of the page layout is made by GP or Elementor.

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3. Fix for How Elementor Creates Column Gaps

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If you leave things as the default, you can often end up with layouts that don’t align properly with other elements of your designs.

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Yes! Send Me Your Custom Settings & Tweaks

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Who Am I Anyway?

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Hi—I’m Dave Foy. I live in the UK. I’m a trained qualified teacher and a web designer and developer.

I created my first website in 1998 and turned pro in 2003. I have over 14 years’ experience not only building websites, but teaching non-coder graphic designers like yourself how to do it the right way.

If you want to build state-of-the-art bespoke websites for your clients, and enjoy profitable extra income…

If expressing your unique creativity and design vision is important to you…

If you have no desire to learn how to code, but still want to create fully-featured, mobile-friendly, serious websites….

You want to do all this quickly and easily…

Then you’ve come to the right place. I’ve helped hundreds of designers just like you. I’m ready to help you too!

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Dave Foy

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50 common mistakes people make when choosing a life partner

Get my FREE E-BOOK that will show you how to avoid the 50 Common Mistakes People make when choosing A life Partner.

You cannot afford to miss this. It can save you from a disastrous marriage.  Best of all It is FREE.

Yes! Give me the E-book. I don't want to make these mistakes

What Do These Custom Settings Do?

My extra settings, tweaks and customisations make everything work together optimally, automating various layout issues so you don’t have to worry about it.

1. Consistent Layout

Make sure that any layouts created by either GP or Elementor are always in line with each other and always have the same gaps between columns.

2. Consistent Breathing Room on Mobile

Creates nice consistent spacing at the edges of the screen on mobile—whether that particular part of the page layout is made by GP or Elementor.

3. Fix for How Elementor Creates Column Gaps

If you leave things as the default, you can often end up with layouts that don’t align properly with other elements of your designs.

Yes! Send Me Your Custom Settings & Tweaks

Who Am I Anyway?

Hi—I’m Dave Foy. I live in the UK. I’m a trained qualified teacher and a web designer and developer.

I created my first website in 1998 and turned pro in 2003. I have over 14 years’ experience not only building websites, but teaching non-coder graphic designers like yourself how to do it the right way.

If you want to build state-of-the-art bespoke websites for your clients, and enjoy profitable extra income…

If expressing your unique creativity and design vision is important to you…

If you have no desire to learn how to code, but still want to create fully-featured, mobile-friendly, serious websites….

You want to do all this quickly and easily…

Then you’ve come to the right place. I’ve helped hundreds of designers just like you. I’m ready to help you too!

Dave Foy

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my custom form widget

.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-5cebb863background-color:#ffffff;transition:background 0.3s, border 0.3s, border-radius 0.3s, box-shadow 0.3s;padding:40px 0px 30px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-5cebb863 > .elementor-background-overlaytransition:background 0.3s, border-radius 0.3s, opacity 0.3s;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-14046eb2 > .elementor-element-populatedpadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-cd4e622.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-titlecolor:#e539ac;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-cd4e622 .elementor-heading-titleline-height:1.2em;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-4ec17190color:#000000;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-e2a0884 .elementor-field-grouppadding-right:calc( 10px/2 );padding-left:calc( 10px/2 );margin-bottom:10px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-e2a0884 .elementor-form-fields-wrappermargin-left:calc( -10px/2 );margin-right:calc( -10px/2 );margin-bottom:-10px;body.rtl .elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-e2a0884 .elementor-labels-inline .elementor-field-group > labelpadding-left:0px;body:not(.rtl) .elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-e2a0884 .elementor-labels-inline .elementor-field-group > labelpadding-right:0px;body .elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-e2a0884 .elementor-labels-above .elementor-field-group > labelpadding-bottom:0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-e2a0884 .elementor-field-group > labelfont-weight:bold;text-transform:lowercase;font-style:italic;line-height:0.1em;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-e2a0884 .elementor-field-group:not(.elementor-field-type-upload) .elementor-field:not(.elementor-select-wrapper)background-color:#ffffff;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-e2a0884 .elementor-field-group .elementor-select-wrapper selectbackground-color:#ffffff;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-e2a0884 .elementor-buttonbackground-color:#23a455;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-e2a0884 > .elementor-widget-containerbackground-color:#ffffff;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6c7ebe7f.elementor-column .elementor-column-wrapalign-items:center;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6c7ebe7f > .elementor-element-populatedmargin:-23px 0px 0px 0px;padding:10px 10px 10px 25px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-4cd79padding:20px 0px 40px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-3adfc575 > .elementor-containertext-align:left;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-3adfc575margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:-15px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-29ed5d7c > .elementor-widget-containerpadding:0px 150px 0px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-4ea882e3padding:0px 0px 22px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-532f5d91 > .elementor-widget-containermargin:0px 0px -6px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-57b4ee74 > .elementor-widget-containermargin:0px 0px -6px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-48506421 > .elementor-widget-containermargin:0px 0px -6px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-4601e24b a.elementor-button, .elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-4601e24b .elementor-buttonbackground-color:#36b560;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6dd269d6background-color:#eeeeee;transition:background 0.3s, border 0.3s, border-radius 0.3s, box-shadow 0.3s;padding:40px 0px 40px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6dd269d6 > .elementor-background-overlaytransition:background 0.3s, border-radius 0.3s, opacity 0.3s;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-450ad04c .elementor-image imgborder-radius:50% 50% 50% 50%;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-450ad04c .widget-image-captionfont-weight:bold;text-transform:uppercase;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-13cc41dd a.elementor-button, .elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-13cc41dd .elementor-buttonbackground-color:#36b560;@media(max-width:1024px).elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6c7ebe7f > .elementor-element-populatedpadding:10px 10px 10px 10px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-29ed5d7c > .elementor-widget-containerpadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6dd269d6padding:20px 0px 20px 0px;@media(max-width:767px).elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6c7ebe7f > .elementor-element-populatedmargin:16px 0px 0px 0px;padding:10px 10px 10px 10px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-6dd269d6padding:20px 0px 20px 0px;.elementor-289 .elementor-element.elementor-element-450ad04c > .elementor-widget-containerpadding:0px 0px 20px 0px;

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50 common mistakes people make when choosing a life partner

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Get my FREE E-BOOK that will show you how to avoid the 50 Common Mistakes People make when choosing A life Partner.

You cannot afford to miss this. It can save you from a disastrous marriage.  Best of all It is FREE.

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Your first Name

Your Email Address

Yes! Subscribe me and Send me the E-book

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What Do These Custom Settings Do?

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My extra settings, tweaks and customisations make everything work together optimally, automating various layout issues so you don’t have to worry about it.

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1. Consistent Layout

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Make sure that any layouts created by either GP or Elementor are always in line with each other and always have the same gaps between columns.

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2. Consistent Breathing Room on Mobile

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Creates nice consistent spacing at the edges of the screen on mobile—whether that particular part of the page layout is made by GP or Elementor.

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3. Fix for How Elementor Creates Column Gaps

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If you leave things as the default, you can often end up with layouts that don’t align properly with other elements of your designs.

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Yes! Send Me Your Custom Settings & Tweaks

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Who Am I Anyway?

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Hi—I’m Dave Foy. I live in the UK. I’m a trained qualified teacher and a web designer and developer.

I created my first website in 1998 and turned pro in 2003. I have over 14 years’ experience not only building websites, but teaching non-coder graphic designers like yourself how to do it the right way.

If you want to build state-of-the-art bespoke websites for your clients, and enjoy profitable extra income…

If expressing your unique creativity and design vision is important to you…

If you have no desire to learn how to code, but still want to create fully-featured, mobile-friendly, serious websites….

You want to do all this quickly and easily…

Then you’ve come to the right place. I’ve helped hundreds of designers just like you. I’m ready to help you too!

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Dave Foy

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