History of Japan Sentence Starters
"Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's BEAUTIFUL!"
"In the year negative a billion, _____ might not have been here."
"And now there's lots of trees. Because it's warmer."
"They're basically hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees."
"They're using the latest technology like stones and bowls."
"Ding dong, it's the outside world."
"They have technology from the future. Like really good metal. And crazy rice farms."
"Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly."
"So that makes you king."
"Knock knock. Get the door, it's _____"
"Please try this religion."
"Then the government was taken over by another clique."
"They made some reforms, like making the government govern more."
"Can you call us something else, other than dipshit?"
"How about 'Sunrise Land?'"
"And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves."
"They stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while."
"They conquered the north, finally."
"They really didn't give a shit about running the country."
"How are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals?"
"Everyone started hiring samurai."
"Correction: Only rich important people hired samurai."
"They let the Emperor still be 'Emperor'."
"Breaking news: The Mongols have invaded ____"
"Please respect us, or we might invade you as well."
"So the ____ came over, ready for war, and died in a tornado."
"They tried again and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese."
"The Emperor can still dress like an Emperor if he wants, that's fine."
"It's time for 'Who's going to be the next shogun?'"
"So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk."
"Everybody voted so hard the palace caught on fire and burnt down."
"____ didn't actually care, he was off somewhere doing poetry."
"And the whole country broke into pieces."
"Everybody is fighting with each other for local power."
"Knock knock, it's Europe."
"No, they're not here to take over, they just want to sell some shit."
"That's cool, but everyone's still fighting each other for control."
"Wouldn't it be nice to control the capital?"
"The leader of that clan steals the idea of invading the capital and invades the capital."
"Someone who works for him kills him, and then someone else who works for him kills them."
"And that guy finishes conquering ____."
"And then he confiscated everybody's swords."
"Before he died, he told five guys to take care of his five year old son."
"Yeah, right. It's not gonna be this kid."
"A lot of people support him. But a lot of people support not supporting him."
"And he still lets the Emperor dress like an Emperor, and have very nice things."
"Don't get confused, this is the new government."
"They closed the country. No one can leave and no one can come in."
"There were poetry, plays, sexy times, puppet shows..."
"Knock knock. It's the United States."
"Open the country. Stop having it be closed."
"They somehow made the Emperor the Emperor again."
"And do you know what else is Western? That's right, it's conquering stuff."
"Stop, no, you can't take that."
"We were going to build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water."
"They downgraded to a fuck ton."
"Did I say downgrade? Sorry, I meant upgrade."
"How about maybe you chill?"
"They made an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of ____"
"The world is about to have a war."
"It's the 1900s, and the weapons are getting crazy."
"You get to sit at the negotiation table with the big dudes."
"And yes, ____ gets to keep that shit they stole from ____."
"He has a cool moustache and he's trying to take over the world."
"They all decided to be friends because they have so much in common."
"Their friends and our friends are not friends."
"They're planning on invading the entire ocean."
"____ is starting to really care about their image."
"They haven't used the bomb yet and are curious to see if it works."
"Everything's still pretty cool, I guess."
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