Anxious SWer

you will never see them have this passion for their wife and kids

He asked for a photo. NONE of my clients (except for British Twat, of course) has EVER asked me for a free nude. This piece of shit asked me for a photo to “hold him over” until our appointment tomorrow… Wow… The boldness. There is nothing sleazier and low class than a client asking for a nude. This man is grown, a senior executive at his company, someone you would expect to have more class.

I knew he was trash. And after tomorrow’s appointment, I am blocking him. He’s basically the 70 year version of one of those typical low quality clients in their 30s and 40s. Absolutely disgusting…

i'm currently not speaking to my submissive. (if you're new here, i also moonlight as a dominatrix. i'm multitalented like that.)

he was supposed to fund one of my little business ideas and instead managed to say something so remarkably stupid that i haven't spoken to him since.

i haven't yet decided whether i'm going to allow him to earn his way back into my good graces...

…or whether it's finally time to stop entertaining men who simply don't have the capacity to contribute at the level i'm trying to build.

we'll see.

it looks like this is going to be a healing girl european summer rather than the luxury girl european summer i had imagined.

let me make this clear: i am not thrilled about this.

i want to spend my days eating outside at trendy restaurants and cafes, wandering through summer exhibitions and pop-ups, shopping ALL of the summer sales all while attempting to plan a quick day trip to another city.

instead, i'm finally having to admit something to myself.

for the last several years, i've been so focused on reaching the lifestyle that i never stopped to notice just how much caregiving had taken out of me.

okay, i had noticed...

i just thought i could outrun it.

i thought if i could just make it to the lifestyle i wanted, everything else would finally fall into place.

instead, i would spend every trip battling digestion issues and anxiety while carrying a nervous system that's been living in survival mode for years.

i wasn't creating a soft life.

not even close.

i was simply putting burnout on top of burnout.

so it looks like this summer isn't going to begin with my ysl shoes after all. 😫

it will probably begin with sleep.

maybe a book to read.

and fresh fruit.

perhaps a massage.

as i try to teach a body that's been living in fight or flight that it's safe...

...and that not everything is an emergency.

not even close to the european summer i've been dreaming about... ...but it may be the one i need.

oh, and i finally did the thing that i've been threatening to do for years.

make another blog.

some of you have probably heard me talk about it at least three different times by now. 😅

if it survives, i already have plans for what I'd like to turn this blog into.

if it doesn't...

well...

you'll know exactly where to find me.

on this blog.

He asked for a photo. NONE of my clients (except for British Twat, of course) has EVER asked me for a free nude. This piece of shit asked me for a photo to “hold him over” until our appointment tomorrow… Wow… The boldness. There is nothing sleazier and low class than a client asking for a nude. This man is grown, a senior executive at his company, someone you would expect to have more class.

I knew he was trash. And after tomorrow’s appointment, I am blocking him. He’s basically the 70 year version of one of those typical low quality clients in their 30s and 40s. Absolutely disgusting…