never surrender

#reigniite ( prev. mercyburned ) — making the choice to get back up and keep fighting. featuring mostly original characters from dragon age and baldur’s gate 3 with verses in various fantasy / medieval - based fandoms. by lori ( she/her, 35+, us est )

adventuring with . . . @fatedmuses | @lattehearted | @severthebl1ght | @mvndrvke | @pecatus

ic . . . carrd | memes | meta / hc posts | wishlist | tags | sinday psa | thread tracker

ooc . . . dragon age world state | muse & preferences tracker | drowcanons

rhys could feel himself withdrawing in real-time as the question left her lips. there had been no parties in the army, even less so when he had served the spider queen herself. what gatherings he had been to prior to that, upon graduating from the academy: he'd rather purge those memories from his mind, if he could. no joy had been taken there.

“no,” he said plainly. then softened it with a mumbled, “i do not,” as a follow-up. not at one like this.

it was clear to him how the tieflings were celebrating: drink and dance and song, all the same things that could be found at noble parties in menzoberranzan, though the nadeira dances in the drow city were very different from what he saw before him. he did not begrudge them their revelry, and he understood why they celebrated. they were alive. they had overcome. what had sought to destroy them had instead been destroyed, twice over, first with the kagha's rancid plot and then again with the goblins in the old selûnite temple. perhaps he did enjoy it a bit, watching the happiness of someone else: alfira swaying into lakrissa, cal and lia poking fun at rolan . . . but he did not partake.

but like wyll, who had snuck off on his own, rhys had found a quiet spot and decided that he best served this event by standing on guard duty.

like, i feel that -- similar to many real-world women who are only attracted to men, despite being fully aware of The Patriarchy -- rhys is genuinely, almost exclusively attracted to women. almost. there's a tiny percentage that might be capable of feeling some attraction to men, but he's also got a lot of deeply-ingrained misandry from growing up in menzo, and he doesn't really find masculinity attractive. it's just sort of ... there. like white bread. he's also never indicated interest in any specific man since i started writing him, so there's that.

that said, i ... really don't think any of the male companions are his type? a.starion is too manipulative and he tried to bite him when he was asleep, he won't forgive or forget that. w.yll is nice, but in his view, far too naïve, and he's not really into the good guy hero thing. he doesn't really understand h.alsin nor does he particularly care about trying to. ( he also doesn't like being smaller than someone. it sets him on edge apparently. ) he can at least get along well enough with g.ale on a platonic / ideological level, but he just sort of shrugs and says nothing personal, but he's not interested.

well, when you go through the hells together, it tends to bond you together with those around you in a way that little else could. dammon felt a slight heat rise to his cheeks, and he quickly distracted himself further by organizing and re-organizing a series of oils and other weapon-maintenance tools inside the trunk where he stored his wares. with his jobs as complete as they'll get for tonight, it's time to rest. to look at the stars and remember that he is alive when so many others are not. that he can still speak of things like friendship and hopes and dreams and long paths to tread before he can lay his head down in a place of his own making. sometimes these things feel like burdens, the weight of it all, unknown and incomplete on a heavy future: but they are blessings. the opportunity exists. not everyone has been so lucky.

welp, she got two full rows!

notes:

half points are: good-aligned; doesn't use or hurt people, and lets him feel in charge. mostly bc while laera is not cruel for cruelty's sake, she will absolutely look out for her (and rhys') best interests, which doesn't always mean doing the right thing. she will use and hurt people if necessary, but again, never bc it's senseless, and as for him taking charge... he might need to fight her a little on that lol. she needs to be in control, however, if he's proven he can lead and not get her killed, and there's a reason behind him wanting to lead other than 'bc it's my turn!' she'll allow it.

she has a lot of baggage herself honestly, and it would be unfair for her to judge him for anything he's done or currently working through when she has her own problems. she'll be patient, understanding, and steadfast in helping him in what ways she can.

going back to being in charge, re: gentle dominance, she may start off harsh until their relationship progresses. overall, she's firm when she needs to be, gentle when it's necessary. she will never coddle him bc that's not how she loves, but she will always, always be supportive and steady.

girlie has things of her own to get through but it sounds like it could be a journey where they mutually help each other heal and maybe fall in love along the way. who knows!

enjoy!!!

rhys definitely won't fight her on much of anything unless it's something like 'don't go the underdark route because however bad you think it is, it's worse; also, i don't want to run into anyone i know.' that said, he spent 20 years leading his own squad in the army in menzo with a near-perfect track record before he became lolth's living axe, so he absolutely knows what he's doing when it comes to combat and strategy. still, even if he feels some type of way about it, even if he knows it's going to end in disaster. he's kind of giving off negative vibes about being allowed to do anything though, because he's very much trying to embrace having autonomy and the thought of being denied the right to do something he knows he's good at kind of rubs him the wrong way really badly. even if he's not going to fight about it. but if at any point the situation requires it, he'll just go in, seal the exits, slaughter everything by himself, and move on.

he doesn't respond well to people being harsh or too firm with him tbh? he's probably not going to get up in her face about it, but again, just rubbing him the wrong way. it just makes him feel like he's back in menzo and he Absolutely Hates Menzo And Everything To Do With It, so things that make him feel like he's back there tend to leave nasty tastes in his mouth.

“why would you bother with that?”

she turned her face away from the other drow, holding each forearm with the opposite hand in an attempt to make herself feel . . . better? safer? less anxious? the only real friend she'd ever had was her twin brother, but he was gone, and she could trust no one else. bree chewed the inside of her cheek. it wasn't just that she missed her brother, even though that loss hollowed her out from the inside. there was something . . . else, about this man.

she turned red eyes on him for a moment, studying him in the way she had been taught before it all went to hell. it only took a moment for her to realize that she and kelmur'ss were the same. she tensed.

“ . . . wait. i know what you are. you're someone's eyes and ears, aren't you? who?”

discomfort settles into his bones like too much silence, and he knows the answer in his gut before the words even come to his mind. that the spider queen saw him as a powerful weapon was a blessing and a curse both: it allowed him a degree of distance from others around him, it meant he was slightly safer from angry priestesses, who would not want to invoke Her wrath by killing her prized weapon senselessly. but it was a target on his back, too; one wrong move and he would be killed if She was feeling merciful; far worse if She was not.

he chewed the inside of his cheek in silence as he collected the rest of his belongings to pack up.

“i like keeping my head attached to my shoulders,” he droned, carefully cleaning his greatsword. wasn't durafein a wizard? the second male in his family. but maybe the other drow's family was less awful than his own. might have been possible. house duskryn had the reputation that it did for a reason. and even though rhys was only tangentially related to the matron mother, that had not shielded him from the famous cruelty.

“there is no good alternative in menzoberranzan.”

Disobedience

Insubordination

Killing spiders

Matricide

Blasphemy / apostasy

Killing of a priestess (x7)

Killing of a guard (x15+)

Fleeing the guard

Treason

There’s probably a lot more

Bite night is the first time that happens actually. Waking up to find someone he doesn’t know, who’s already tried to attack him once, hovering over him and poised to strike, is extremely triggering and he absolutely does react with immediate anger and violence as a result. It’s terrifying, and his fight or flight reaction is not just fighting but “annihilate.”

The thing is, in Menzo he would never have been able to express anger about anything, especially not once he was directly in Lolth’s service. But on the surface, he’s actually allowed to express thoughts and feelings and to assert his autonomy, and he starts learning that quickly. It’s difficult, but he starts to push back hard against anyone and everyone who tries to control him or who acts towards him in a way that makes those bad, dehumanized feelings come back up. He’s more likely to snap at other men and show anger at them, but it could possibly happen with a woman too.

although the queue is paused, i'm dumping as much as i can into it each night. this is mostly to give myself time to get more caught up before more replies come in lmao

i'm so happy with how much y'all seem to like rhys! i would really love to continue exploring new dynamics with him. the more the merrier tbh!

i'll send van to ragebait people soon, but also, can u tell me what specifically would get ur muse rage-baited? he can be a general dick but like, let's make it funny

i feel like van has a two-part personal quest (regardless of if he's tav or not) where one part involves finding one of his parents and the other involves getting some kind of confirmation / closure that his former partners are safe and happy together with the baby that might or might not be his. but maybe he realizes his life is going in a different direction now ...