Ellie

thank you

YOU TOOK THE DOTS OFF THE BOWL

This feels strangely relaxing. This technique might be really good for anxiety :0

I’m reading your palm and it says it belongs on my butt

Sweet angel no

Can we all just appreciate the fact that this cutie just fell down the stairs but still immediately got up so excited like he just had a great time falling down the stairs? Like I want to handle bad things as well as this puppy does

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

Y'all suspect af😂

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

no lie this is me

I'm dean woooooo