ashes to ashes

xxx

He snorted, rather unattractively. Sirius tried not to let Regulus’ cold response get to him. A difficult feat really, not that he let that show. His brother had made his choice a long time ago. He could keep walking, he absolutely could do that and a big part of Sirius wanted to. But the smaller part of him wanting to stay was winning. And so he stayed. Despite that anxious nagging feeling within him making him shift his weight from one foot to the other. Very slight, not many people could tell when he was doing it. Except, Sirius had been doing it since he was small. Back when he was close to Regulus.

‘‘You know that there are a bunch of blood thirsty Order members out there hunting down all Death Eaters and associates right? You shouldn’t be out here on your own.’‘ You couldn’t handle them. It’s too dangerous. I need you to be safe, brother. 

-

If Sirius’ anxious shifting was something Regulus noticed, he didn’t comment on it, still looking at Sirius like he was waiting for him to get to the point. He wasn’t afraid of the Order, sure that his family name, money, and his youth would all be played in his favor if he ever were to get caught. Despite doing his best to be unaffected, his hand twitched towards his other arm, about to check and make sure his sleeve was down and his Dark Mark was covered before he caught himself. 

“I don’t see why you’re telling me this.” There was no real proof that Regulus associated with the Death Eaters, let alone that he was one, until they considered his arm. “I’m a little old for a chaperone. Besides, if you’re offering, I’d rather go to Azakaban.” 

“I don’t overestimate myself.” He said, resisting the urge to throw a punch just to make a point. That wasn’t civil and he had to attempt civility with Cissy’s favorite cousin. He could do polite. He could. If he made himself focus on it hard enough. Fighting Regulus wouldn’t be worth it, Cissy would be sad. And Cissy had enough heartbreak in her life right now.

“Cissy’s staying with me for a while, and she misses you.” Walden would do many irritating things for Narcissa and inviting her favorite relatives to dinner made that list. Just one dinner, right? How poorly it could really go? “I hope you can handle peppers, abuela is cooking.”

–

Could Regulus put his pride and attitude aside to play nice for one evening? Probably. But Walden did nothing to swing those odds in his favor; Regulus had made up his mind two seconds into hearing him speak that he disliked the man. But Walden was important to Narcissa and Narcissa was important to Regulus, therefore, Walden should be important to Regulus. “I find that hard to believe.” It isn’t enough to actually get him to play nice. 

Passively, he quirked an eyebrow as he looked up at Walden, a blank stare on his face. “I haven’t agreed to go.” Yet. He would, if only to make Narcissa happy. But instead of giving Walden the satisfaction of calling him on his bluff, he rolled his eyes. “Peppers are fine. Where and when?”

★ –

Paris found Regulus’ backbone admirable. He didn’t appreciate insults, but he wouldn’t have had the same respect for the boy had he groveled, either. “I’d like to see those words put to the test someday.” He kicked up his ankles and perched them on the seat nearest him, grateful he didn’t have to shove his eternally long legs under a cramped table like usual. “What has you spitting such vicious words, mon cher?”

-

Being truthful, Regulus had no desire to hurt Paris. There was no cause behind it and he found it hard to imagine turning his wand on the older man. But, as desperate as he was for approval, he was more desperate to prove himself, prove that he belonged. Though he wouldn’t be happy about it, he would follow the order if it was given. He didn’t bother replying to that, though, it wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have today. “Didn’t feel like sharing.”

Walden rolled his eyes and tried to remember that this was Cissy’s favorite cousin. He probably had some sort of redeeming quality somewhere Walden couldn’t see. Just play politely and everything would go fine. He could do polite. Honest he could.

Which was why he pointedly resisted taking Regulus’s dumb book and tossing it into the street. Even though it sounded awfully tempting. The things he did for his friends. Honestly.

“You couldn’t actually make me even if you tried your hardest, little Blackling.” Walden said as he waved down a waiter to order himself some tea. “I’m here to invite you to dinner, against my better judgment.”

–

It wasn’t like Regulus had anything against Walden. Quite the opposite, he actually wanted to like him, or would at least extend the effort to try, if only for Narcissa’s sake. He just ... could not bring himself to care about the other man. He was hardly a blip on Regulus’ radar, he hardly found him to be worth his time. But Cissy did and, despite popular believe, he did trust her judgement. 

At the nickname, all semblances of attempted amicability went out of the window, with Regulus just barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes. It seemed Walden had chosen basic politeness and not a single thing more. “Don’t underestimate me, or perhaps you’re overestimating yourself.” He didn’t actually care, he just didn’t want Walden to think he’d won that. “And, why, exactly, are you inviting me to dinner?” He knew why, there wasn’t a point to making Walden say it.

He didn’t ordinarily make it a habit to wander Diagon Alley in the middle of the night, but something had made him leave the comfort of his sofa in Brighton and drive all the way up to London. Sirius shoved his cold hands in the pockets of his jacket, his head ducked down into his collar as he walked along the cobblestones, boots echoing across the empty street. It was dark enough that he did walk straight past the boy stood in the shadows. It wasn’t until a few steps later that Sirius stopped dead in his tracks and then slowly turned around. A frown etched lines into his forehead and he retraced his steps until stopping just in front of Regulus.

‘‘Reggie? What the hell are you doing out so late?’‘ @regblackx​

-

It was a bit late for Regulus to be out, but he’d always thrived at night. It was easier to exist in the shadows, to do anything and everything he might be required to do. Besides, it wasn’t like his mother had been breathing down his neck anymore than she had in the past and Regulus had long ago learned which floorboards creaked when he was leaving. After getting on Kreacher’s good side and making friends with the house elf, he was basically golden as long as he didn’t get caught by his parents.

But getting caught by Sirius was an unexpected complication. It wasn’t like he was past curfew, given that he was a legal adult and could come and go as he pleased, but they both knew what Walburga’s temper could be like. Either way, he didn’t owe Sirius any answers. “I don’t have much to say to blood traitors.” He hardly looked at his brother and didn't acknowledge the nickname. Rule number one of being a little sibling, don't let them know you dislike something or it's all you'll ever hear from that point on. 

despite narcissa’s current particular aversion to public, she still could not avoid the lure of new books. she had already devoured those readily available at walden’s. at the risk of being seen by her parents, or worse yet lucius, she made the venture to the shop somewhat regularly. it wasn’t often that she saw anyone long enough to need to worry about their intrusive thoughts into her precarious mental state. seeing her cousin today was a happy accident, but one she would take advantage of. narcissa had missed him.

she took a seat across from regulus with her hands folded properly across her lap. “you couldn’t even if you had the gall to try.” cissy said gently. she plucked the cigarette out of his fingers and crushed it beneath the sole of her shoe. “those are bad for you.”

-

If it was anyone else, the reaction to them taking his cigarette probably would’ve been a lot more violent but Narcissa had earned the privilege to take things from him. But it didn’t mean he liked it. With a hum, he closed his book, making note of the page number, sure that he was not going to get back to reading now that his favorite person was there. “Ask me if I care, Cissy.” To prove his point, he pulled out his cigarette holder, custom made black metal with emerald inlay, and lit up a new cigarette. 

“Maybe not, but take this cigarette from me and I’ll kick you.” It was the most mild of threats he could have given but he made up his mind a long time ago that he wouldn’t hurt family. Narcissa would be the last person he’d ever want to hurt, but the list of people he was unwilling to hurt also extended to Sirius, unfortunately. It was a character flaw he was working on. “Why are you here bothering me?” Despite the words, there was actual warmth in his voice. 

★ –

Paris hadn’t had a lengthy conversation with Regulus in a while, and it was making him… a little suspicious, of sorts. Not necessarily of his loyalty, but of what was plaguing the boy’s mind. So, as he was meeting up with an informant and spotted Reg lurking in diagon alley, he took the opportunity. He had a few minutes free, and it looked less promiscuous if he was seen speaking with a few people before disappearing into the shadows. He hadn’t anticipated such a bite to come from the boy that early in the morning, however.

“It’s usually aurors that tend to threaten me, not people I consider my allies. Do you plan on living up to your threat, Regulus?”

-

Though he threatened people with increasing regularity, Regulus didn’t make threats he didn’t plan on following through on. Each one was just another step further past the line he though he’d never cross as a kid. He’d always been too soft, hung on to Sirius’ every word like his brother was a god, but when everything happened, he had become more jaded and colder. Yet apparently still impressionable enough that he wanted to win the approval of everyone around him. 

When it clicked that it was Paris across the table from him, not someone else, he wanted to retract the threat almost immediately. Instead of doing that and making himself look weak, he closed the book, as if he was just realizing who it was. “I’m still debating on it. Likely not, though. Not many people would have the same luck.”

-

Remus always tried to be civil - something which had nothing to do with the manners that had been ingrained in him as a child.  It was almost an obsession for him to maintain that image of mild mannered courteousness that he was best known for.  A crutch, really, if he were ever being honest with himself but one that he could not do without.  

Because there was so much that people were willing to ignore at a mere flash of a smile and Remus was willing to do almost anything to protect the little life he’d manage to carve out for himself.

Yet here he was, throwing away any semblance of civility all over his own pride.  Because Regulus Black was a damned brat whose free pass ended the moment he’d graduated Hogwarts.  There had been so much that he had been willing to overlook when it came to Regulus simply out of love for both Sirius and Cissy.  So many insults and thinly veiled threats that he chose to ignore because Regulus had always appeared in over his head even when he’d been the one wielding the knife.

But Regulus was no longer a child even if he currently seemed hellbent on being treated like one.

“Really?  You’ll burn me with that?,” he repeated, rolling his head to glance at the deceptively unmoving figure at his side.  Remus wasn’t stupid enough to think that Regulus wouldn’t take action against him if he were aggravated enough but Remus wasn’t the only one that depended on appearances to skate by.

“You’re losing your touch, Reg, if you think that sort of threat will work on me,” he continued, almost sounding bored by the threat of bodily harm as he turned his glance back to the passersby on the street.

“And I’ve yet to hear that please.  I thought I made myself perfectly clear,” he added, making a show out of stretching out his legs in front of him as he got comfortable in his chair.

-

Growing up in a house that was never a home, Regulus had learned to mind his manners very quickly. Children should be seen and not heard, don’t speak unless spoken to, and above all, don’t disrespect your elders. Those rules had more or less stuck with him through most of his life, though he was introverted by nature and didn’t speak much anyway. The one rule he never agreed with, though, was not to disrespect his elders. He respected those who earned his respect and nothing more. 

It was why, despite Lupin technically being older than him, Regulus cared very little for watching himself around him. The rather heated discussion they’d had a few years ago at Hogwarts had left Regulus with a distaste for Lupin, who had quickly replaced James as Regulus’ least favorite of his brother’s friends. There was no lost love between the two of them, and Regulus would be willing to bet things would come to blows if either of them fully let their tempers out. 

“It was less of a threat,” he hummed as he brought the cigarette to his lips to take a drag from it. If he was going to waste it and use Lupin’s skin as an ashtray, he wanted to get his fill from it first. “And more of a warning.” 

It was not the first time he had threatened bodily harm on Lupin and no part of him expects Lupin to be cowed by it this time, but it’s half an experiment of sorts. Last time they clashed heads like this, he walked away from the interaction with half a crush on the older man. Perhaps it would work in the reverse to get rid of it this time. He was half hoping, anyway. And at the very least, maybe he would actually be able to verbally spar with someone. It could’ve been anyone besides Lupin and Regulus would’ve preferred that but not many could keep up with his wit. 

As Lupin stretched out in the chair, Regulus returned to his book with a roll of his eyes. “Be thankful you’re getting civility from me in giving you ample warning to leave. Let alone politeness. You must have me mistaken for someone who cares about your opinion.” 

While Remus would have never admitted it aloud, he was more than a little relieved when he finally escaped Doe’s townhouse.  Not that he wasn’t relieved to see all his friends - the panic upon hearing about Dumbledore’s disappearance making him jump to the worst of conclusions, but there was no denying the atmosphere had quickly turned stifling.

And Remus couldn’t fault anyone, not when the same questions that were on everyones’ lips were making rounds in his own head.  But even he had his limit after putting out so many little fires and he had a feeling that the cracks were starting to show in his perfectly polite mask.

Work had simply been an excuse but that didn’t seem to stop his feet from leading him down Diagon Alley, body on autopilot even as his mind ran rampant.  Maybe that’s why he found himself falling into a chair outside Obscurus, needing a moment to reel himself in before he slipped his mask back on and started his investigations in earnest.

But it looked like he couldn’t even get a simple five minutes of peace - his head snapping up in disbelief from where he’d been rummaging his pockets for his cigarettes.  If it had been anyone else, Remus would’ve immediately apologized to them for his rude interruption but simply the sight of Regulus was enough for him to throw all his usual well mannered intentions out the window.

“Say please and I might,” he replied just as cooly, wordlessly lighting his cigarette as he brought it to his lips.

-

There were plenty of other people whose presence Regulus would’ve even remotely tolerated if they had, stupidly, gone against his warnings and decided to stay. His hands were slightly tied at the moment, sure that everyone was on high alert with the missing man. Pulling a knife on someone had to be either very subtle, or very worth it.

Perfect control over his temper is a feat he touts, as people often don’t realize that he has a temper. Any anger he has is a slow burn, leading to ice and grudges being held. The times he’s lost control over his anger have been very few and far between but the voice at the other end of the table makes him risk losing that control. 

Fucking Lupin. During their time at Hogwarts, Regulus had easily placed all of his feelings of being unwanted and the rage that it resulted in on Potter, mad at him for stealing his brother, replacing him. But Lupin had brought upon a different kind of anger. Always too fucking nosy, too arrogant (though Regulus himself wasn’t one too talk about arrogance), he hated Lupin perhaps more than he hated Potter.

He would not lose control over himself again, would not make a scene over Remus Lupin, of all people, for the second time in as many years. But the weight of his knife in the pocket of his trousers reminded him of how easy it would be to stab him under the table, surely there was no way for Lupin to stop him when he couldn’t see the knife coming. Putting the idea on the back burner, he doesn’t glance at the man across from him. 

Holding up the cigarette in his hand, he replied simply, “I will burn you with this if you don’t vacate that seat in the next ten seconds.” He was even being generous and giving him extra time. 

There were whispers floating around, people talking about Dumbledore going missing. For the most part, they were concerned but the second you stepped into Knockturn Alley, the whispers got more hushed, more aggressive, people speaking under their breath. It was no secret that the Death Eaters and their allies spent time in Knockturn Alley, which was why Regulus was making sure he was seen anywhere but. There was no doubt in his mind that people suspected what side of the regime he fell on, who raised him coupled with him never rolling up his sleeves in public anymore. It was why he was sure to make a public appearance shortly after leaving the Avery residence. An alibi of sorts. Was he overthinking it? Most likely, but his family was high profile, there was no question which side they supported.

With a brand new book in hand, he sat at a table outside of the shop, a cigarette in his hand. There was no interest in the passersby, though he was keenly aware of them, especially as one sat down in the open seat across from him. Without much emotion in his voice, or looking up from his book, he said, “Move before I make you.”

—- And there it was. The one word that Slytherins like Regulus Black liked to through in her face. Even though she didn’t want it to, she could feel her heart rate jump at the mere sound of it. But on the outside, she unaffected. She wasn’t going to allow him to see her upset. Not ever. “It’s adorable that you even have enough braincells to put that sentence together Black,” she replied. “If you don’t feel like doing as I asked, I’ll be sure to ask the Headmaster for a prefect who will.”

In what was meant to be a placating gesture, he stubbed out his cigarette, tossing it aside and over the edge of the tower. “Relax, Evans,” he said as he stood, rolling his eyes. “I’m going.” Not back to his common room or anything, but just long enough for her to think the area clear and he could head back when he felt so inclined. “No need to go running to Dumbledore at the first sign of trouble you can’t handle yourself.” He was already starting away, not paying her much mind.

His tone irritated Cassandra and immediately, she knew that she was going to do whatever it took to get under his skin. If he wanted to speak to her like that, she’d make him work for it. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that the engagement wasn’t particularly wanted on either end. They’d go through with it because they both had a duty to their parents. The blonde scooted closer to Regulus, a hand resting on his thigh. Her gaze met his and she squeezed, “What’s wrong? Don’t play coy now, Black.” Two could play this game. 

“If you think you’re such a prize to be won, you’re mistaken,” Cassandra replied with a low whisper, knowing that others would be attempting to hear their conversation. She could keep up an appearance without much effort. She rolled her eyes at the dig, but retorted, “I’m surprised that he settled for the likes of you. Your family must be truly desperate.” 

Moving her hand would be admitting defeat. Reacting at all would be admitting defeat. Anything besides sitting there and looking bored would be losing. He didn’t like losing in the first place, let alone to someone like Cassandra Greengrass. He’d sooner lock himself in a room with Barty and try to keep himself from going insane right alongside him than let her have this victory. With a raised eyebrow, he looked at her, silently asking what she had been intending to do. 

“Your logic fails you, dear. If my family and I are such filth, ask yourself why he’d give up his precious daughter to join the Black family.” It was easy to be unaffected when he hadn’t felt emotions in several years, though annoyance could occasionally be counted. “Seems like we’re not the ones who were desperate. Otherwise he could have easily said no and walked away from negotiations, but he didn’t. Why? Because no one else would have you.”

Cassandra barely recognized the owl when it came to her window. That was how often she had correspondence with her father. The moment the letter was in her hand, she knew what it would hold before she even opened it to read what was inside. Maybe she’d been naive as a child, but she’d grown up years ago. She knew what all of the lessons were for. She knew what her father’s plans were for her. So, when she read the inside of the letter, she merely rolled her eyes and carried on with her day. 

If she were being honest, she had forgotten about it until she was cornered by her ‘future husband’ hours later. The blonde glared at him for having the sense to sit so close to her and not ask first. Personal space? Cassandra scoffed, glancing at her nails as if she was bored, “Were you surprised? As far as I’m concerned, you should be counting your lucky stars that it’s me and not some other insufferable cow.” 

“Don’t play coy or pretend you have any business caring about your personal space. We’re engaged now. Get used to me being close to keep up appearances.” Regulus didn’t care much for what she wanted. He himself wanted to be free to go about his business and not have to worry about what his mother would say about being a ‘good husband’. All of that would be something he could worry about next year, like was planned and done by every pureblood family going back generations. But the traitor and her mudblood had to ruin that for him. It’d been nothing when Sirius left, there was still hope for the family but the sanest of his cousins had denied what was expected of her and run off. 

“The word other implies that you are very much an insufferable cow,” he pointed out with a roll of his eyes. The people he cared for at Hogwarts were far and few between and he could count them all on one hand. (One finger, actually), and it wasn’t Cassandra. “I’m surprised your father waited this long to find someone for you. Though maybe he didn’t have another choice. Beauty is one thing but attitude is another and no one wants a wife that doesn’t know their place.”