>hmmmnnnnnmmnnn

i had a meeting with her the other day, asking if it were possible to switch my major to WGSS. it was a long shot because it's such a dinky little community college, and i was pretty certain it didn't exist when i started school here. but luckily it actually had just become a thing in fall of last year. so, i'm officially majoring in something real and tangible and cool! and soooo inspiring!

during that meeting (and reiterated in an email afterwards) this teacher told me that i have a 'a real gift for this type of thinking.' i've had partners praise me for stuff like this, but this is the first time a teacher has ever said anything like that about me. i hadn't really taken that in until today, two days before my final project is due. but, i actually think she's right..? i am making connections that are making my head spin and it's...fun.

it's wild, i spent so much of my life thinking that i simply couldn't do school (and to be clear, i still fucking hate the structure of the thing) but i am doing it, and doing it well. i mean, i'm often breaking down and crying a lot and nearly didn't do my class presentation last semester because i was so fucking anxious but...i'm also learning and i'm succeeding, even during one of the most stressful and tumultuous times of my life. i regret that it wasn't until my mid-thirties that i was able to push myself like this, but it does feel really fucking good to finally do it. school isn't for everyone! hell, i don't think it's even for me. no one should have to go to school, at least not within the rigidly constructed system we're forced into. but being in an environment where everyone is thinking and analyzing feels consistently and deeply rewarding.

last 3 months.

really glad that Geese has gotten so popular. that album really is a fucking wallop.

last 3 months