oof

Really the main problem is politicians have forgotten they can be killed

took it personally because I never would’ve done it to you

daydreaming about stuff that’s probably never going to happen is my favorite hobby

I feel unlovable and it breaks my heart daily 

do you guys think jesus was hung

no i think he was crucified

me and my demons have matching friendship bracelets 

the saddest death in harry potter is my respect for jk rowling

hello, 911? i’d like to report a mass mercy killing

Squidward is such a tragic beautiful figure. A haunting literary character who represents repressed white homosexuality, one which foolishly strives for suburban ennui but is instead trapped in a cultureless, capitalistic hell. He’s a cashier and he hates his job but his island head is nice. His nose is huge. Squidwars foing to hell. Swuidward will go to hell

“Yoink” is the opposite of “Yeet”

But it’s just as fast

The Lord yeeteth and the Lord yoinketh away

you think you’re a better kisser than me??? you think you’re a better cuddler? come over here and prove it punk

I’m stupid please come kiss me