One life, two life, three lives...
Recently in the news, two famous people have committed suicide. I know of people making fun of the situation, and it annoys me. It’s true not everyone knows what someone else is dealing with. People are complex creatures with complex minds. No two minds are the same, even if you are twins, you don’t deal with the same situations. And this has got me thinking, if two famous people recently have committed suicide, how many ordinary people have in the past two weeks. I’ve mentioned this a few times to people, we are a reactive race. We don’t act unless we have too. We choose to ignore things until it impacts our lives directly, I am guilty of this. But things like this has got me thinking, and recent events. Famous people die, and the leave behind a legacy. But what about normal people? Do people still care about the average Joe? I’m almost 99% sure I don’t have depression, but whenever things like this happen, it gets me thinking. If I were to kill myself what would be the backlash, would people forget I existed in a year, would people even care, would anyone really listen to me now? Things have occurred, and I just find myself so angry and sad at the same time. There are times where I just want to keep punching something until my fists start to bleed, and at the same time tears are rolling down my face. As mentioned above, I know I don’t have depression, I’m more on the emotionally unstable side. And news and events like this always get to me. I just keep thinking to myself, if I were to call people up and talk about it, would they really care what I have to say? I pride myself on remembering the little things about what people have mentioned to me, but when I ask them questions about my life or relate something to my life, people don’t remember. And I don’t fault them, I’m wired different they are and so on. But when it comes down to the fact that you don’t even remember where I work, I just wonder if the conversations we have are one way. Where I remember things you mention, while everything I say goes in one ear and out the other. I just have so many thoughts in my head, and I really do want someone to listen and understand. I never like to bother people, and whenever people show that kind of attention span when we talk, I just feel like it’s going to deaf ears. There’s so many things I want to talk about, but at the same time no one’s here to listen. I think this causes me to feel alone, and I just get sad thinking that I have no one close enough to me to open up about, but then I get angry thinking my friends listen when they don’t. I think my situation is very similar to that question, “If a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound?” If I were to open up, would anyone really care and listen? If you could make someone joy and fill their life with happiness for a few moments, why wouldn’t you? I don’t think there are that many people in this world with a good heart, everyone has an ulterior motive behind their actions.
Just wanted to write since it’s been a while, and this event has really weighted me down.










