So I generally provide the drugs in my circle of friends, as I am one of the few who can hold a job and manage my addiction while balancing my bills/responsibilities, and so there's always people who come by just to smoke and get spun out and whatever, but there's a few things over time that just have always come across as being rude or flat out ignorant. More than once I've kicked people out for certain behaviors, and even banned some people from coming back.
Having taken this from what is now a non-existent tumbler account, done some rewording, editing, and added my own to it, I've had what some jokingly refer to as the Tweaker Commandments posted in my fridge for a number of years now.
And so, In an effort to save my fellow providers some grief or irritation, I hereby submit for the general public and Tweaker Nation communities....
~*~Being invited back to cloud sessions 101*~*
(AKA: The Clouded Refuge Tweaker Commandments)
1. Who ever provided the drugs gets the first hit.
2. In a group session, hit once from the pipe or bong then pass; don’t be greedy. Ain't much worse than having to wait while someone power hoots 2/3rds of a fresh bowl. And if you messed up, and barely got a hit, don't keep trying 3 or 4 times, you prolly burned it all up.
3. Don’t burn the shit! Spin that shit, and periodically move the flame away to prevent overheating the glass.
4. If someone was nice enough to let you smoke from their piece while they weren’t present make sure you clean the bowl when you are done or don’t smoke the whole bowl.
5. Always Contribute to the smoke sessions in some way shape or form. No one likes a constant mooch.
6. If someone tells you they are low on shit stop asking for more. They want to spread the stuff out, cuz drugs aren't just freely floating around. Just because they always seem to have something, doesn't mean the well runs deep or is easily replenished.
7. Never take or ask for someone’s last bowl. That just makes you a selfish pos.
8. If you are visiting a friend and smoking, always be sure to say hi to your friend, give them a hug, and chat a little. Don't just walk in and start acting like a downtown fiend, with the first thing falling out of your mouth being to ask if you can smoke them up. They'll pull out their stuff eventually without you asking if they have some you can hit every five seconds. Their your friend, not just a free supply.
9. Do not blow smoke in anyone’s face unless they asked you to.
10. If you don’t know who the pass the piece to, look to the person who started the session. Trust me, they're watching where the pipe is, and how much is still in it, and will either point out next in line, or take it back for reloading or putting away for the moment. If you don't know who started the session, ask the person who passed it to you.
11. Do not gloat about how you can get better quality, pricing, or quantity. If you are trying to say you wanna share this “better” deal that you can get, or the plug with the better stuff, then hook it up! But if you are just being a snob get the fuck out of here then.
12. Do not start to hit your stuff in front of others if you do not intend to share. If you have to hit it, but don't have enough to share, go into the bathroom or something. We all are addicts, and not sharing while others watch you blow big ass clouds makes you an ass that's gonna be told to GTFO and not come back.
13. Congrats on your ability to make massive clouds. No, that doesn't mean you can smoke the entire bowl that's meant for four or five people to yourself in a single hit in order to show off, Shopvac Suzie.
(Also, don't be a dick and make comments when someone else's clouds aren't as thick as yours. It just means they aren't hitting more than their fair share, or just don't want to take the time to make it a cloudy hit.)
14. If you somehow drop and break the pipe, replace it ASAP, and be sure to provide a little stuff to the originating owner when you do.
15. Don't spill the shit! Be careful with your spin, and if you do spill, be sure to replace the stuff! Remember: it's a rocking back and fourth motion, not an actual spinning of the bowl.
16. For the love of everything holy and not, pick up your garbage and throw it out before leaving if you want to be allowed to come back!
17. Don't get all tweaked out and start taking apart other people's property to make into something that they didn't ask you to make. Chances are, that computer works fine, and there never was a problem with how the gears shift on that bike.
18. Watch and listen for subtle hints that it's time to go home. Not everyone is unemployed or lacking in responsibilities, and sometimes they prefer sleep before having to attend to such over listening for another four hours to how many drones followed you around yesterday.
19. No, those aren't drones outside stalking you, don't get so spun you ruin everyone's mood with paranoia and delusions (favorite line ever heard: no Micheal, the FBI is not watching you take apart your lawnmower on the front lawn at 330 in the morning, they have more important tweakers to nab.)
20. And finally, take a shower and change clothes every so often. No one wants to smell the fact that you haven't showered in 2 months, or see how long it takes for that ketchup stain on your shirt to naturally fade. A little attention to personal hygiene goes a long way.
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