that's what she said

I know I should feel hurt, that I should somehow feel bad knowing some little details you can share with your other friends but not with me. But why would you even share it with me right?

We both not say it but we both feel it.  It's not the same anymore.

The only thing I can feel about everything is sadness. We used to make plans together. I used to be the first person to hear your news - good or bad. But now, it has changed. We both know you're more honest and probably happier with your other friend than with me. We used to tell each other what makes us happy, what makes us sad... but now, you have another person who you shares your stories first with.

Is this jealousy? I'm not really sure. All I'm sure is I'm feeling sad about this. I used to know your goals/dreams. You used to include me in your plans. I used to be the first person to know your plans. I used to remind you things and you do it. But now, even if I tell it to you first you won't do it. You'll do it if your friend says so.

I can't help but cry whenever I think of this, or feel this sadness. Sadness is even a simple word to describe it.

I know there's nothing I can do but to accept it. Accept that you already have this other person in your life - your best friend. I'm glad that you are much closer now. Unfortunately, you tend to forget that I'm still here.

I first heard this song probably two weeks ago and immediately added it in my 2016 playlist. Since I always play on shuffle my 2016 playlist when I listen, I barely listen to this BUT I really do love this song.

So yesterday, I decided to check if it already has a music video because I intend to post it in my Facebook timeline. There it was and what made me more like/love this song is the video was shot in London!!!! Attractions mainly on the London Eye and the Tower Bridge. (On a sidenote, I’m currently in love with London and UK to the point of planning to migrate or at least work in there. Plus, I noticed recently that my fascinations are British related).

I searched for the lyrics, sang with the song while watching the music video. Then I found out there’s a Secret Love Song Pt. II!!!!! Anddd then, I realized Little Mix will be coming here in Manila on May. I thought it was Fifth Harmony who’ll be having a concert here but IT’S LITTLE MIX!!!!! AND I WANT TO WATCH/HEAR THEM PERFORM THIS SONG LIVE!!!! Just when I told myself I should stop watching concerts. One thing that upsets me though is the location of the concert is just a little theatre (Kia Theatre). Why not in Araneta Coliseum or at MOA Arena? Anyways, I’m not yet THATSURE if I will really watch them BUT I WANT TO!!!! The only thing hindering me is the ticket prices!!! It’s kinda expensive for a small venue.

Since last night, I’ve been playing the two Secret Love Song tracks on loop!!!! I’M JUST SO ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH THE SONG!!!! I DON’T KNOW WHY!!! IT REALLY DOES GIVE ME THE FEELS!!! I have heard some of Little Mix’ tracks and this is by far their BEST!!!!!

Someone/something reminds me of this song actually. But what the hell.

Today has been a typical Valentine’s day. Nothing special, really. Still a lot of people at the mall. Restaurants are filled. Girls walking holding flowers. Really typical Valentine’s day.

Compared to last year, I’m on a much better state. I’m a bit happier. Like what I said nothing special happened this day but the days leading to this were wonderful. :) Rose replied to me on her blog and Twitter. Rosie liked some of my tweets. I finally got their merchandise that I ordered (let’s not talk about the hassle I went through at the post office, #neveragain). Watched one of the best romcoms ever - How to be Single!! I want to watch it again btw!!!

A lot has changed since last year. There were things that got broken and can never be brought back as it was. There were  some new self-discoveries, some new goals. Some were as it is and is still in the process of getting them. I’m trying my best to “choose happiness” despite the unfortunate circumstances.

- My brother left to work in Jeddah last Saturday. So far he’s fine. His flight got delayed but good thing they got there safe.

- Oftentimes I think that what I earn is not enough. Then I found out something and I realized what I have is really enough. It’s just that there are so many things I want. I’m trying my best right now to be conscious of the things I buy and save more.

- Still working on that UK itinerary. I’m actually pretty excited to go to UK/London. Thinking of it makes me miss Paris and Europe in general. How I wish I’m just a train away from Europe. Why do I have to be so far? I’m thinking of working in Europe (UK, France, or Spain) sometime soon. There’s no harm in trying right? :) Who knows?

- Rosie has liked 2 of my tweets. Rose has replied to me on Twitter and on her blog. Yup, birthday month made!! :)

- Bought a book after so many years - Room. Can’t even remember the last book I bought (I still have A LOT on my to-read pile). Rose loves the movie (well, mostly Brie Larson) and Rosie loves the book as well. It’ll be shown here in the 17th so I have 9 days to finish reading it. :)