Writter And Thats About It

There was a shuffling sound accompanied by hushed voices in the darkness, and then suddenly, Astarion was pulled into the waking world. It took a second for him to discern who was taking part in the conversation, but eventually it came to him. Their friends had returned from their little mushroom hunt, and it seemed as if they had decided to be nosy. 

Gale’s voice was the first to come into focus. “Do you think it worked?”

 “Well, I would hope so,” Shadowheart said with a mix of pride and annoyance. “They’re pretty wrapped around each other at the moment, so I’m going to go with yes,” Shadowheart replied sarcastically back at Gale. 

Astarion groaned at all the noise. Moving slowly so as not to wake Tav, he placed his hand over his eyes and rubbed the tiredness away. He hadn’t meant to fall into a trance, but after what he and Tav had just done, it was hard not to be lulled to sleep in the comforts of one another's arms.

 And oh, how he had missed going to bed curled around one another. 

He smiled to himself, remembering the taste of Tav on his tongue. How wet she had been for him when he had finally touched her where she desperately wanted him to. It made him want to do it all again. Unfortunately, that would have to wait. He wasn’t about to put on a show for his friends or in front of Apple.

“It seems that he is awake.” Halsin’s voice, despite whispering, still came out loud and booming.

 “Could the three of you be any louder?” Astarion pressed his left eye with the back of his hand. “I don’t remember passing out.” His chest tightened. How long had he been out? “Hells, how long have you been gone?”

He hadn’t even heard them enter camp. What would have happened if a threat walked in? Tav and Astarion would have been sitting ducks. A wave of nausea washed over him along with an incessant need to protect Tav. 

“We just now got back, and we have been out of camp for about three… maybe four hours. It’s hard to remember since the mushrooms were harder to find than Gale first anticipated.” Shadowheart glared at Gale. “You owe me a new pair of boots, and I expect them the second we get to the nearest city.” She turned her attention back to Astarion. 

“I said I was sorry. How was I supposed to know that there wasn’t going to be enough fungi in one place?” Gale grimaced. “To be fair, you shouldn’t have worn boots you cared so much about to a swamp. You knew where we were going.”

It was the wrong thing to say, and Astarion saw the regret in Gale’s expression the second the words left his lips.

Shadowheart’s face turned red with anger. “That’s not the problem, and you know it, wizard!” Shadowheart turned and pressed her index finger to Gale’s chest. “You told us that the mushrooms were going to be near the shallow paths! But you were wrong! The fungus grows in the deepest part of the swamp! So if the next words out of your mouth aren’t, ‘Yes, you are right, Shadowheart, I am sorry, and I will definitely be buying you new boots the very second I am able to,’ Then I don’t want to hear them.”

At this point, it was a miracle Tav was still sleeping. Eyes bouncing between Gale and Shadowheart, Astarion was curious to hear what the wizard's response would be.

“Ah… Well, that’s a different problem entirely.” Gale shrank back a little. “Fine! Since you put it that way, I will buy you a new pair.”

“Thank you.” 

Gale sighed. “The second we step foot into the nearest town or city, I will buy you a pair.” He sounded a little defeated this time as he repeated his previous statement.

Shadowheart beamed. “Fantastic!”

“I don’t know why you are complaining, Shadowheart.” Halsin entered with his own sage wisdom that no one asked for. “The mud from the marsh has many medicinal applications, such as…” 

Astarion tuned out the lecture and was consumed by his thoughts, going back to the length at which they were unconscious. Four hours? What if something had come into camp while he was unconscious? What if they attacked, and Tav had gotten hurt again? It would have been all his fault. His hands started to shake, and he could feel his body breaking out into a cold sweat at the idea that something like that could happen. 

Shadowheart looked away from Halsin, and her eyes landed on Astarion. “Astarion, you need to stop the internal downward spiral that is going on.” Her voice was calm. “Gale put wards around the camp before we left that make a very annoying sound that would result in waking anyone left in camp. While also dealing a small shock if anyone besides the seven of us enters camp.” She lowered her voice to a whisper and looked at Tav’s sleeping form. “She’s safe. You are safe. We wouldn’t leave the two of you unprotected. I’m sorry that we forgot to tell you that.” 

Her words did their job and settled his nerves. 

“Thank you, Shadowheart.” Astarion took a few steadying breaths. “And thank you for giving us the space to work out our issues.” 

Gale gave Astarion a playful grin. “So we were correct. The two of you made each other’s acquaintances again finally.” He gestured between the two of them and raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

Astarion rolled his eyes and glared at Gale. “Yes, we got acquainted. Now, would you please just shut up? The three of you are very loud, and Tav is still sleeping, surprisingly.” He gestured his head toward Tav.

“Our apologies,” Gale spoke, with sarcasm dripping from every word. “If we knew you were going to be this cranky after sex, we would have just waited until after dinner was fully prepared to wake you and let the two of you rest longer.” 

“Now, Gale, we can still let them rest until dinner is ready. If I know anything about Astarion and how well he performs in bed, Tav could very well sleep until tomorrow morning.” Halsin winked at Astarion. 

“Don’t do that, and this is not a conversation I want to be having at all with any of you.” Astarion started to slowly unwrap himself from Tav, trying his hardest not to wake her from her sleep. “Since when have I ever talked about my sex life with either one of you? Especially you.” He scowled at Halsin. “You are like a father to Tav, so discussing this topic with you makes it horrifying on a whole other level.” 

“I don’t know. Tav and I have talked about sex on many occasions.” Halsin rubbed at his jaw in thought. “Never about the two of yours sex life, but hers, most definitely.” 

Gale and Shadowheart spoke at the same time.“She’s told you about some of her past loves?” 

“Yes! She had quite a string of lovers before she was taken by the Mind flares! Where Tav grew up allowed her to…”

Astarion tuned out the rest of their conversation again as a familiar emotion started to churn in his stomach. Jealousy. It wasn’t that he cared who she had slept with before him. The gods knew that they didn’t matter and that he would be the last person in the realm to care after all that he had been through. Besides, he already knew everything about Tav’s past conquests. Whom she had laid with before him was inconsequential. He had married her and started a family. Loved her more than there were drops of water in the ocean or stars in the sky.

And he knew that Tav felt the same way about him. 

However, something changed on a biological level the second Astarion had ingested some of Tav’s blood. Now, almost all his emotions were practically screaming— happiness, love, desire, and jealousy. Or rather, he had the feral urge to claim Tav as his, and the very idea that someone else once had her was driving him wild. 

The feeling wasn’t something foreign to him; Astarion had felt it before, starting in the Underdark, when Tav had told his sister Dalyria that Apple, who at the time was still growing in her belly, belonged to someone else. 

His child. The memory made anger coil in his chest. Astarion made himself take deep, steady breaths to put out the fire threatening to rage within him. He knew this feeling wasn’t truly his. It was something borrowed and enhanced by the hormones he had taken from Tav that swam in her blood. The hidden negative repercussions of drinking her sweet nectar. 

At the thought of Tav’s blood, Astarion’s mouth watered. Already, he wanted to sink his teeth into her tender flesh again and drink deep, but that would have to wait for another day. She was weak from their activities, and double dipping from the source that was wreaking havoc on his emotions sounded like a recipe for disaster. 

Astarion knew he needed to be careful how much he took from Tav. Her blood would do more than enhance the need for her—it could lead to some very passionate moments. So, if he didn’t want to have to talk to his six-year-old about sex, they needed to keep it to low doses. 

Thinking about having to explain what sex was to his little girl, Astarion’s primal urge to claim Tav was quickly snuffed out and replaced with horror. So before said child came around asking what they were doing, he decided to focus on untangling himself from Tav and help get dinner ready. 

After a full minute of trying, he gave up and just laid back down, letting Tav curl around him. In her unconscious state, Tav was determined to keep hold of him. Probably trying to make up for the days they had spent apart. Whenever he moved, she would adjust herself. It would seem that her unconscious mind didn’t want to let him go, and if he was honest with himself, he did not want to go. They would just say that they were cuddling and hope that would do. 

Looking at her sleeping face so calm, peaceful, and happy, Astarion decided that he would just stay in the tent. At least for as long as Tav decided to sleep.

“It seems as if Tav is making up for all the cuddles she has been missing out on the last week.” Gale gave Astarion a huge grin. 

“It is rather adorable.” Shadowheart’s face beamed. “I do rather like seeing the two of you back to normal.” Her expression changed to something sadder. “We were starting to worry.”

It was strange to hear that even their friends had missed the relationship that Astarion and Tav had built over the years. If anything, he had thought that they would be happy that she and him hadn’t been falling all over each other. A nice break from the constant holding, kissing, and lovemaking that had come before the Forgotten Forest. They were always being asked to watch Apple so that they could go off and be alone. So hearing that it was the opposite was jarring, to say the least. 

“It was rather odd not seeing the two of you attached at the hip at every second of the day.” Gale gave Astarion an envious look as he looked at Tav’s hold on Astarion. “I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t wish I had what you have, Astarion.” 

“I’ll hold you tonight if that would make you feel better, old friend.” Halsin patted Gale on the back. 

Gale sighed. “No, thank you.”

“I’ll take a cuddle if you’re offering.” Shadowheart raised her hand up slightly. “But I want you to be a bear and only to use you as warmth.” 

Astarion listened to the exchange while Tav nuzzled into his body further. It was nice listening to them talk about nothing in particular, just going on about random topics. At all the noise, she buried her head into his body further, hiding her face. Her need to muffle the sound of their friends even in sleep made him smile, and he kissed the crown of her head.  

He knew he should wake Tav up. They had been resting for quite some time, and if he didn’t wake her up now, she would not sleep later. But she just looked too peaceful and he didn’t want the moment to end just yet. Just five more minutes, Astarion thought to himself. 

The three outside the tent went on for another minute while Astarion closed his eyes and just relaxed with the feeling of Tav around him. Touching him. Loving him.

“Well, now that the sleeping arrangements are worked out,” Shadowheart clapped her hands together, drawing Astarion’s attention back to the conversation at hand. “Where is the closest town and or city from where we are currently?”

Astarion searched his mind, pulling up a mental map of the lands between where they were now and where they had to go to finish the quest they were currently on. “I think that would be Shadowdale, which is around a fortnight away from us.” 

Shadowheart fixed him with an astonished look. “Fourteen days!? You have to be joking.” She turned to look between Gale and Halsin. “There is nothing closer?”

“Afraid not.” Gale took his thumb and forefinger and pinched his chin in thought. “This side of the world has a nasty problem with getting destroyed by one thing or another.”

“Perfect.” Shadowheart rolled her eyes. “I suppose I will just have to wash my muddy boots tonight and dry them by the fire.”

Gale placed a hand on her shoulder. “It won’t be so bad, Shadowheart. The days will fly by. You’ll see. And we won’t have to waste any time going out of our way on this little side quest. Shadowdale is just a tenday away from Yûlash, so it works out perfectly.” He paused for a moment before speaking again. “Plus, if we are lucky, there is a chance that Elminster might be home, and I have some questions for him about all of this Moander business.”

“Like what?” Astarion wondered if Gale’s questions were the same as his own. 

As much as he trusted Tav, Astarion didn’t trust Angharradh and her secondhand account of what happened the day Elminster, Mielikki, and the others in their party sealed away Moander and Talontyr. If they happened to find the wizard, and he confirmed what they already knew was fact, it would put his mind at ease. Or if he could offer them some solution to the problem that was Talontyr, that would be even better. 

Astarion’s hand moved to the cold piece of stone sitting against his chest and relaxed muscles he didn’t know he was tensing. The idea of being taken over again frightened him. Being a slave yet again to some dark master who would lock you away without a second thought. 

Horrifying. 

However, the idea of his body being used to hurt Tav again, or worse? Chilled him to his very bones.

A shiver ran through Astarion at Tav’s account of what it took to break the final seal. 

A mother’s sacrifice. 

The very thought of his hands being the ones that would break the final seal with her blood made Astarion feel sick. 

Astarion wanted nothing more than for Angharradh to be wrong. That maybe, she had just misremembered the final step. But Talontyr had been very keen on getting Tav back to Yûlash. He had wanted to impregnate her with his own rotten seed . 

But what if that was just a matter of pride? What if it didn’t matter what undead blood tainted the child growing inside Tav? What if Talontyr didn’t care and just wanted the both of them dead?

Astarion knew Talontyr was somewhere out there, licking his wounds. He had said it himself. He could not be killed, that ‘ you can’t cut away the rot .’ Astarion knew that Talontyr was probably in Yûlash, waiting for them. And if that was the case, then Astarion knew that he didn’t want Tav anywhere near that decimated city. 

Talontyr had a score to settle, and killing both Astarion and Tav was the only way to settle it. At least if she and Apple stayed behind, they would live. With Gale, Halsin, and Shadowheart by his side, he knew that they would be able to stop the release of Moander, free Mielikki, and live to tell the tale. Tav staying behind was just a precaution. Something to put his mind at ease. 

Something he would definitely be talking to her about later. 

Gale’s voice pulled Astarion out of his darkening thoughts. “I assume my questions are pretty close to the ones you no doubt have, Astarion.” He flashed Astarion a smile. “The one at the top of my list is if there is a possibility to forever silence a certain servant of corruption. I didn’t have the displeasure of meeting the man, but no one uses my friend as a meat puppet and gets away with it.” 

 Astarion returned Gale’s smile. “I can confirm that that is one of my questions.” He looked towards Tav’s still-sleeping face. “I also think we should continue this conversation after dinner and when Tav is awake.”

 Gale stood with a groan. “You’re probably right. I really should be getting back to Apple.” 

That got Astarion’s attention, and for the first time during this whole conversation, he wondered where she was. ”Gale, where is my child?” 

“She’s just getting some things ready for dinner.” Gale turned away from the tent. “Crushing some herbs, seasoning the meat, cutting the mushrooms.”

Tav’s eyes opened at the mention of Apple with a sharp object unsupervised. Astarion could feel the air in the tent shift, growing colder by the second. 

“Gale…” Tav sat up slowly. “Why is my six-year-old being trusted alone with a knife?” 

“Well, I thought…” Gale swallowed hard. “I thought since she had been practicing with Astarion that she could be trusted.” 

“She is rather good with a blade,” Astarion added as he propped himself up with his hands. “A natural, even.” 

“Not helping.” Tav shot up from her place in the tent and sprinted toward the food prep area. 

“Shit.” Astarion did the same. “Darling, please be careful. You have been prone to dizzy spells as of late, and I just fed from you.” 

At his heels, Astarion could feel the rest of their party. A growing feeling of unease tainted the air. They were just as worried, but whether it was for Tav, Apple, or themselves, he didn’t know. A mother’s fury was something to behold, and Tav’s growing fatigue was probably making the others just as nervous. 

“Why would you think that it would be a good idea to leave my child unsupervised with a sharp object, Gale!?” Astarion glared over his shoulder at Gale. 

“Well, one, I didn’t think we would spend so much time in front of your tent. And two…” Gale mumbled the last bit under his breath. 

“What was the last part?” Astarion increased his speed, trying to keep up with Tav. 

Shadowheart supplied the lost, muttered response. “He said that he forgot he had asked her in the first place.” 

“She is very capable! And you said it yourself: she is very good with a blade.” Gale grimaced at his own words.

When Astarion’s small group made it to the makeshift kitchen near the wagon, they all stopped in their tracks to find Apple sitting in the grass, book propped up in her lap, with the mushrooms untouched and Oliver lying beside her. 

Looking up from her book at all the noise, Apple smiled. “Hi, Mommy! Are you feeling better?” She closed her book and stood. “You don’t look so good.” Closing the distance, Apple grabbed Tav’s hand. “You’re breathing really hard. Do you need to sit down?”Apple tugged slightly on Tav’s hand, causing the limp arm at her side to move. 

 “Yes, I would like to sit, honey.” Tav was breathing hard, chest pumping with the effort. She allowed Apple to lead her to the grass and sat down next to a worried-looking Oliver.

After a few beats of silence, while Astarion watched Apple fuss over Tav by giving her something to eat and drink, Gale finally spoke. “Apple?” 

“Yes?” Apple looked at Gale with a pleasant smile. 

“Why didn’t you chop anything?” He looked at her, confused. 

Apple scrunched her brows at him. “Mommy told me I’m not allowed to use a knife without her or Daddy’s permission.” 

Tav swallowed a chunk of bread before she pulled Apple in close to kiss her on the head. “Good girl.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tav sat alone just outside of camp, looking up at the stars. After pretending to be sleeping during the boots argument and hearing everything that was said, she needed to think. To plan accordingly for what came next.

Shadowdale was a fortnight away, which meant Yûlash would only be a tenday after that, which would set Tav at about nine and a half weeks. 

Pressing a hand to her stomach, Tav thought back to what Angharradh had said about the final seal. A mother’s sacrifice. At the time, she thought it meant someone who was carrying the seed of rot within them, but now she wasn’t so sure. The statement had been far too vague. It could mean so many things. 

Sure, Talontyr had wanted to replace the child growing in Tav’s belly with his own, but that could have just been his way of tainting her further. Breaking her until there was nothing left. 

“Fuck.” Tav pulled her knees close to her chest and pushed the thought out of her mind. 

“What are you thinking about, darling?” 

At the sound of Astarion’s voice, Tav jumped. “Gods, you scared me.” She laughed to herself. “Just thinking about Shadowdale and Yûlash.” Astarion took a seat next to her in the grass as she continued talking.  “About how I’m scared to death about what will happen when we get there.” Turning to look at him, Tav found a shocked Astarion looking back at her. “What?”

“Nothing. I just…” Astarion trailed off, his shocked expression turning into that of someone who was bone tired before grasping her hand. “I just didn’t think you would be so candid about how you were feeling, that’s all. Or that we would be thinking the exact same thing.” 

“I don’t think I should go into Yûlash.” Tav took a deep breath before continuing. “I think I should stay behind with Apple wherever we end up setting up camp and let you, Halsin, Gale, and Shadowheart save Mielikki. I don’t want Apple to see whatever is in that city and I don’t want to possibly be used to set Moander free.” When Astarion didn’t respond, Tav raised her eyebrows. “Are you going to say anything? I feel like I just told you something that changes our whole plan, and you’re not saying anything.” 

Astarion blinked a couple of times, stunned into silence before finally speaking. “Sorry, it’s just that I had the exact same thought, and now I feel like you can either read my mind, or we’ve been together for so long that we now no longer have a single unique thought between the two of us.” He smirked. “I’m thinking of a number between one and twenty— Ow.”

Tav leaned over and pinched Astarion’s nose. “Stop. I’m trying to be our serious, fearless leader, and having to admit that I’m scared and that you also think that the four of you would be better off without me is a rather crushing blow to my ego. ” 

Recovering quickly, Astarion pulled Tav into a tight embrace. “I didn’t mean to make you think that, my love. I was just trying to lighten the mood.” He placed a kiss on the top of her head. “But I do think you should stay behind, and not because I think we will be better off without you but, rather that I don’t want you potentially getting hurt again by my hands again.”

Tav pulled back and looked at Astarion with confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“It means that Talontyr will want revenge for what we did to him, and I don’t doubt that he will try using me again to set Moander free and use your life to do so.” Astarion moved his free hand to cup Tav’s cheek. “And I don’t want that to happen.” 

Touching the necklace resting against Astarion’s sternum, near his slow-beating heart, Tav grabbed the black stone and pulled it out so that it was between them. “But you have Gale's anti-possession charm. He can’t take control of you again.” 

“Chains can break.” Astarion gave Tav a sad smile. “I’d rather not take the chance.” 

A breeze whirled its way around their bodies, causing Tav to shiver. But it wasn’t just the wind that caused the reaction. Astarion’s words sent a chilling reminder through her body as to what happened the last time Talontyr got his hands on Astarion. Her right shoulder ached at the memory of it popping out of place. The threats thrown at her to break her. 

She knew that Astarion was right. Talontyr would want revenge, and there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he wouldn’t be waiting for them in Yûlash. And Tav knew that he wouldn’t stop until he had his revenge and his master was free. 

But even if they managed to kill Talontyr, he was immortal. Once cut down, he would move on to the next body, and the fight would go on until the end of time.

“Do you think Elminster would know a way to kill Talontyr for good?” Tav broke the silence. “I don’t want to keep looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.”

“I think maybe you were awake the whole time our idiot friends were interrogating me about whether or not we had sex. Or you are a mind reader.” Astarion glared at Tav. “What number am I thinking of?”

“Twelve, and I was awake.”

“You cheeky little…” Astarion paused. “Holy shit, that was the number I was thinking of.” 

Tav laughed. “Maybe that’s where Apple gets her magical talent from?” 

“Probably.” Astarion shrugged. “So, are we in agreement? You’ll stay behind with Apple and stay safe?” 

“Yes, I’ll also keep the medallion since that is also needed to finish the ritual.” 

Said medallion still currently sat in the back of the wagon under a sack of barley, and as far as Tav was concerned, that was where it was going to stay. It made her and everyone else's skin crawl. The open, snarling mouth in the middle of a palm whispered about death and decay. Or at least it felt like it did. 

Tav was pretty sure that it was tainting the food it sat under because a musty, moldy smell had been following them since they picked it up from the death knight's corpse. 

Astarion scrunched up his nose. “If you ask me, I think that we should throw that cursed thing in the closest ravine or bury it somewhere and be done with it.” 

Tav felt the same way Astarion did, but they needed to be practical. “I would rather it be close to us so we can fend off any potential worshipers of Moander than risk them getting their hands on it somehow.” 

“No one's going to be able to retrieve it if we throw it in a lake.” 

“Gale was able to retrieve the Crown of Karsus from the Chionthar.”

Astarion bit his lip so that one of his fangs was digging into his bottom lip. “Good point. I forgot he did that.”

“People will do all sorts of things for their gods. So the creepy medallion stays with me.” Tav kissed where Astarion’s fang was resting, causing him to stop before he split his skin. “Before you go, I want Halsin to perform Ceremony on the two of us.”

Astarion kissed Tav gently. “Alright, I could use the extra boost anyway.” 

“It’s more than that. I want to be connected to you even though I’m not going to be there.” Tav pursed her lips and felt the telltale signs of tears welling up in her eyes. “I want to help you even if I can’t be with you physically.” 

“Tav, please don’t cry.” Astarion brushed away a tear that had come loose from Tav. “I will be more than fine. You know who we are traveling with, correct?”

Tav was well aware of the power every individual person in the party held. Any one of them was a force to be reckoned with. But the idea of something going wrong and Astarion being harmed and her not being there stung. He had been hurt before while they had been apart plenty of times. Shit happens. And over the last fifty-six years, there had been a lot of said shit. So that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was the little bundle of cells growing in her uterus at the moment. The one making her hormones and, by association, her emotions go haywire. And for some reason, knowing that it was their little baby boy causing her all this grief made the dam break and caused tears to rain down Tav’s face. 

“Shit.” Astarion pulled Tav’s face to his chest. “These aren’t ‘I’m worried about you dying’ tears, are they? These are ‘I’m pregnant, and I can’t get them to stop,’ aren’t they?”  

Tav muffled a “yes” against Astarion's chest and could feel the fabric growing more damp by the second. 

Finally, after several minutes, Tav’s eyes finally ran out of liquid, and she pulled away to assess the damage done to Astarion. The front of his shirt was soaked with tears, snot, and whatever else had decided to make its way onto the fabric. Tav could feel the flush of warmth making its way up her neck. She knew that she was turning red from embarrassment. 

 “I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop.” Tav averted her gaze from Astarion’s, choosing to look at her lap instead of his face, but she wasn’t sure why. He had seen every part of her there was to see, and this wasn’t the first time she’d had his shirt soaked with her tears.

“It will dry.” From the corner of her eye, Tav heard the familiar sound of Astarion untucking his shirt from his pants, followed by the sound of cotton gliding over skin. “Look at me.” Tav felt long, thin, nimble fingers touch her jaw before they pulled her chin upwards to look him in the eye. “You’re so cute when you're embarrassed.” His statement only made the blush deepen and spread to her whole body. 

“I feel like my skin is on fire.” Tav’s heart pounded against her chest. She could hear the thumping beat in her ears and knew that Astarion could also hear it. 

“There’s no reason to be ashamed, darling.” Astarion’s voice was silky as he spoke. “Especially since the reason for the tears is because you’re currently growing my child inside your body.” He leaned down and placed a kiss on Tav’s throbbing pulse on her neck. “Gods, I want to bite you.” His voice came out in a throaty moan. “But it’s too soon.”

With Astarion’s lips still pressed against her carotid, Tav swallowed hard. “We shouldn’t with everyone so close by anyway.” Glancing over to where she heard laughter about fifty feet away, Tav fought every urge to give in to her desire and get caught and ride Astarion in plain view. 

Pulling away, Tav looked back at Astarion’s face just in time to watch him lick his lips before looking at hers. “We probably should.”

Tav’s eyes moved down to where smooth, pale skin stretched over a broad chest and soaked up the moonlight. The lack of pigment made the black stone that sat in the center of his chest stick out like a sore thumb. At the sight of that small accent and what it represented, a tightness clutched at Tav’s throat. The reminder of all the pain made a wave of sorrow wash over her. 

“Oh fuck, the sad look in your eyes is back.” Astarion’s whole demeanor changed in an instant. “Please don’t cry again, darling. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Grabbing his soaked shirt, Tav watched as he pulled the fabric back over his head. “I’ll stop. I’m sorry.” 

That caused a laugh to slip out of Tav. “I don’t think I could cry any more unless I drank some water, which I need to do anyway since I’m probably dehydrated now.” Astarion reached into his bag, pulled out a container of water, and handed it to Tav. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Astarion watched Tav empty half of the vessel. “Should we head back into camp?”

“I want to try drying your shirt first.” 

“Ah well, that won’t be a problem.” Astarion held out his hand and produced a small flame. “Come here, and I’ll keep you warm while we wait.” 

Settling into Astarion’s side, Tav propped her arms back and used them to keep both him and herself upright. “That feels nice.” 

The small flame danced in Astarion’s palm and radiated warmth from where it sat.

Tav looked up at Astarion. “Don’t do anything reckless without me, please.” 

“Never.”

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Tav let out a small whimper of pleasure as Astarion pulled blood from her body. 

It had been too long since the last time he had fed from her. With the announcement of her being pregnant and everything else, there had been no time. And on top of all that, Astarion had turned into a mother hen always fussing over her to make sure she had enough to eat. It had been part of the reason she had been so vigilant about doing it herself. 

Why she had made it a point to suppress any negative emotion. Right now, Astarion needed her to be on top of everything. No more stumbling around in the dark. Tav needed to do more things for herself to take the burden off of him. Be strong despite feeling as if she wanted to crawl under a rock and hide from the rest of the world. After all, this whole mess was her fault. 

So when Astarion looked at her with such need in his eyes, and Tav had seen the chance to finally feel something besides doubt, depression, and frustration with herself, she took the opportunity. She wanted him to bite her and had been craving his touch for the past week.

Both Halsin and Shadowheart had tried talking to Tav about how this pregnancy was affecting her, but she had just shrugged them off and put on a happy face. If they found out how she really felt, they would tell Astarion, and he didn’t need another reason to worry about her. They all seemed to believe her, so Tav continued pretending. It was only when she snuck off at night that she took off the mask she had been wearing and finally allowed herself to feel what she truly felt. 

Of course, she had been happy some of the time. Some of the best moments of her day were when she spent time with Apple and Oliver. Then there were the times with Astarion. Gods, did she love him, but it hurt every time she looked into his eyes and saw distance or when he flinched away from her. It was understandable, but it still hurt. 

Just another thing to push to the back burner. Tav knew that she shouldn’t get so bent out of shape over his response, but it was hard when all she wanted was to hold Astarion and chase the shadows away.

So, instead of being irritable and snapping at those around her, Tav decided to force the negative emotions back and only exhibit the positive ones. This resulted in her always being tired. She slept in the back of the wagon six hours a day on top of the eight hours she was already getting at night. It also resulted in her all-day morning sickness.

The party had equated the new symptoms that deviated from the first pregnancy to different circumstances. Before, the party had walked to Waterdeep from Baldur’s Gate, and there had been almost no stress until after the second trimester. This time around, they had a wagon, but the amount of pressure on everyone involved was much higher. 

“Stop thinking about all that.” Tav thought to herself, pushing the negative feelings out of her mind to focus on Astarion biting her and how good it felt. A rush of endorphins crashed into her and made her body feel euphoric.  At that moment, she felt happy.

Tav smiled to herself before she remembered the promise they had made to the rest of the party: limit Astarion’s feeding lest he become a hormonal mess like her. The last time around, whenever Astarion had fed from Tav, he had been dosing himself with whatever she had been feeling. Lust, jealousy, anger, and happiness spiked every time he fed from her.

She tapped Astarion’s shoulder to get his attention. “I forgot we promised the others that we wouldn’t do this.” Tav paused to think for a second before continuing. “But don’t stop until you want to since we’ve already started. I want you to feel full.” She moved her hands to rub up and down his back.

Astarion moaned before stopping a few seconds later. “Well, considering  that they asked me to bite you, I’d say that they don’t care.”

Tav looked at Astarion in confusion. “Why did they want you to bite me?” She could feel the blood in her body moving to make up for what she had lost. It made her slightly dizzy, and she ignored the feeling.

“Does it really matter?” Astarion leaned in and placed a kiss on Tav’s neck, right where he drank from her. “All that matters is what I want to do to you next.” 

Tav thought about all the reasons Astarion wouldn’t answer her question, fighting through the fog in her head and the heat collecting at her center. “It does matter.” A shudder ran through her as Astarion left a trail of kisses up to her jawline. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s not important.” Astarion’s hand moved under Tav’s shirt. “Now, do you really want to know, or do you want to make love, darling?”

She arched into him. “Make love. Definitely make love, please.”

“Then let’s do that before the others come back and catch us in the act.” Astarion moved Tav into the tent and lowered her down to the floor. 

Pressing his lips to hers, Astarion kissed Tav gently. She opened her mouth for him and slipped her fingers into his hair, pulling a moan from him as he explored her mouth with his tongue. Tav pulled slightly on the white curls, and he bit her bottom lip gently. 

“Gods, I missed this.” Astarion placed his lips on Tavs before moving to her jawline once more. “Or rather, missed the taste of you.” Using the hand that was already touching her skin, Astarion tugged the fabric of Tav’s shirt up her body, exposing her breasts to the air. 

“I know.” Tav was panting. “I love it when you bite me.” 

Astarion licked the spot where he had drank from Tav before placing a light kiss on the sensitive skin. “I will gladly drink from you anytime you ask, my love.” 

Tav's breath hitched as Astarion’s left hand found her right breast and cupped her lightly. He continued his descent until he found her unoccupied nipple and took it into his mouth. A groan left her lips at the attention her breasts were getting, the pulse of heat growing at her core getting harder the longer he sucked and massaged them. 

 Dimly, Tav heard the fire pop, and when Astarion didn’t react, Tav found her answer. 

“Oh my gods!” Tav pushed him off of her and pulled him up to her so that she could look into his eyes. “They wanted you drugged up on my blood!” 

Astarion’s pupils were large as he stared into Tav’s eyes. “Yes.” He looked away. “Shadowheart came to me before they left and asked me to bite you to get a dose of your happy hormones. She thought they would help us get over this little block we’ve been having.” 

“I don’t know how I feel about you drugging yourself or using me to do so.” Tav frowned at Astarion. “Makes me feel kind of used.” 

“No, darling, I would never use you.” Astarion pressed a hand to Tav’s cheek. “I just want to go back to how everything used to be. I’m tired of flinching away from you and the damned fire. And since you have been so unbothered, we figured this would be the best way to do so.” He smiled at her. “And besides, I’ve missed drinking from you. Animal blood is no substitution for your blood.” Leaning in, Astarion’s lips almost touched hers. “Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to taste you?” 

Tav felt a new rush of heat course through her body at Astarion’s seductive tone and his close proximity to her lips. “For how long?”

She couldn’t fight the sexual charge moving through her body. Along with her influx of hormones that had been a constant companion for the last week, there had also been a secondary feeling always at her side: need. 

Though she fought to control the torrent of depressive emotions that bombarded her every day, whenever Tav looked at Astarion, she wanted him. It didn’t matter what he was doing—rolling up his sleeves, forearms had never been so attractive, walking away, her eyes were glued to his ass; just talking, Tav wanted to shove her tongue down his throat. So she couldn’t blame him for wanting a remedy for what plagued him in the form of her blood. 

She just feared that he would also get a dose of what she had been secretly fighting.

His voice snapped her attention back to him. 

“Since we found out that you carry another one of my children in your belly.” Astarion placed a hand on Tav’s stomach. 

“You should know that not all my emotions have been happy.” Tav decided to tell Astarion the truth to prepare him for what could happen. “I’ve had my fair share of unhappy moments this last week, but I just haven’t been letting them show.” 

Astarion stared at Tav. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“You remember how my emotions were all over the place last time.” Tav put her hand over his. “So, just so you know, you might not feel happy all the time.” 

“That’s fair.” Astarion smiled. “But right now, I feel very happy having just drank from my beautiful wife.” He pressed a quick kiss to Tav’s lips before continuing. “And everything is so quiet.” Another quick peck. “And I am suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to fuck said beautiful wife.” 

“And are you going to fuck your beautiful wife?” Tav’s voice was coated in longing. The throbbing between her legs at his words pulsed in time to the beating of her heart. “Or just tell her about it?” 

“Oh, darling…” Astarion’s hand started moving up Tav’s body towards her breasts, and he moved so that his lips were at the shell of her ear. “I’m ravenous for you.” He growled, nipping at her lobe. 

That was all Tav needed before she pulled him back and pressed her lips to his. Later, they would have a talk about him using her as a form of medication. Right now, she couldn’t think straight with the need for him between her thighs, screaming for release. 

Astarion laid Tav down and continued his assault, slipping his tongue inside her mouth. They moaned into each other. He pinched her nipple with his right hand, and Tav felt herself dampen further at the contact. She was already ready for him just from the amount of kissing that they had already been doing. The overall need for him after so long apart drove her mad. 

It was like flipping a switch in her body. The pregnancy hormones intensified any emotion present, and this time, she let them. 

Tav raised her hips and shed her pants, kicking them off the rest of the way. She could feel Astarion’s hard length pressing into her thigh. An ache started to build at her center the larger he grew against her. He hadn't even done anything too scandalous other than kiss her and touch her breasts, and yet her body was screaming for him to touch her more. 

Sensing Tav’s need, Astarion’s hand moved down her body to the bundle of nerves nestled between her thighs. A smile formed on his lips at the gathering wetness that he found waiting for him. 

“Already so wet for me, darling, and we have barely even started.” Astarion chuckled wickedly. “Would you like me to alleviate some of the tension you’re feeling?” 

Tav’s breaths were shallow as Astarion’s index finger circled her wet center lazily while his thumb sat poised on her clit. “Yes.” She moved her body to try to cause some friction. He pulled away, and she whimpered. “Please, Astarion.”

“Gods…” Astarion groaned. “How could I say no to that?”

Astarion plunged his fingers into Tav before she had a chance to answer him. She gasped at the feeling of him inside her and moaned when he added another digit. He pushed all the way inside her before slowly pulling out and starting over again at a steady pace. 

She could feel her orgasm building as his thumb circled her clit. Tav’s hands dove into Astarion’s hair, pulling another moan from him. Dragging his face to meet hers, she pressed her forehead to his. 

“Astarion, I need to feel you.” Tav panted. 

“You are feeling me.” Astarion kissed her hard while picking up his pace. 

“Not just your fingers.” Tav could feel that she was close. “I want to cum around your cock.”

Astarion’s fingers froze, and he pulled out of her completely. “You will be the death of me.” His words were laced with a joking tone, but Tav heard the desire behind his words. “You make me weak, darling.”

Astarion lifted his body off of Tav’s, and she opened her eyes to find him stripping off his clothes. She did the same with her shirt, throwing it to the side and staring at him, patiently waiting for what would come next. 

Grabbing the waistband of his pants, Astarion brought them down towards his knees, lifting slightly to force them the rest of the way off his legs. Springing free, his hard length bobbed. Tav licked her lips at the bead of precum glistening at the tip. 

Catching her watching him, Astarion smiled before returning to the position he had been in before disrobing. Grabbing his shaft, he positioned the head at Tav’s center, letting it sit at her entrance. Just the feeling of him there between her thighs made the feeling of need surge. All it would take was the smallest push, and he would be inside her, and then, inch by glorious inch, he would be filling her. 

Fucking her. 

“I’ve wanted this all week.” Astarion pressed gently so that the head of his cock was barely inside her entrance. “How is it that you are so addictive?” Another inch and his tip was inside. 

Tav arched off the bedroll, craving more of him. “Maybe I was made for you?” 

Astarion took a moment to consider her statement, “Maybe.” He pressed his lips to Tav’s. “But who knows? All I’m sure of right now, in this moment, is…” He plunged into her, filling her to the hilt and causing her to let out a scream of pleasure. “All I know is that you feel so good around my cock, darling.” 

He started moving, drilling into Tav like a man starved for too long. She gripped him, one hand looping around his back while the other stayed in his hair, tugging lightly. His lips ravaged hers, nipping, sucking, and exploring to their heart's content. Tav gave as much as she received, wanting more of the man on top of her that she was so deeply in love with. 

With each thrust, the pressure built in her core. Astarion’s breaths came in ragged, and his rhythm took on a more erratic beat. Tav could feel that he was close to his own climax, and that he was fighting to stop himself from spilling inside her. 

A sheen of sweat coated both of them. After several minutes, the pressure within Tav’s core reached its limit.

“I’m close.” Tav moved her lips to Astarion’s ear. Her voice sounded hoarse and filled with a thirst for more. “Gods, I don’t want it to be over.” She wept as Astarion pounded into her. 

“Who said anything about this being over?” He growled into her ear. “The second we are alone again, I’m going to bend you over the nearest thing I can find and fuck you to make up for all the time we lost.” 

At his declaration, she came hard around Astarion’s length. With a few more powerful thrusts, Tav felt Astarion let go and spill his seed inside her. He continued pumping in and out of her, riding them both through the remainder of their orgasms until they were both heaving. 

Astarion pressed his lips to Tav’s, holding her in a long, passionate embrace until the cool night air caused her to shiver. He pulled out of her to retrieve her shirt, and Tav’s body screamed at the loss of him inside her. Now that her appetite had been sated, she wanted more. Needed more of him, and she would allow him to feed on her every day if that meant that she would get the opportunity. 

Despite the post-coital bliss she felt, that Tav couldn’t help the yawn that had escaped her mouth. She reached a hand up to cover it, and Astarion gave her a warm smile. 

“Why don’t we get dressed, and you take another short nap while we wait for the others to return?” Astarion handed Tav her shirt and turned to retrieve her pants. 

“As long as I get to use you as a body pillow.” Tav threw the shirt over her head. 

Astarion started to slip Tav’s pants on and back up her legs. “Of course.” 

Tav lifted her bottom up off of the ground and finished the job he started before kissing him. “You can drink from me every day.” She felt happier than she had been all week. “I love you, Astarion.” 

Astarion pulled away from her. “I love you too, Tav, and I’ll be taking you up on that offer. You taste divine.” 

He finished getting himself dressed before lying down and opening his arms for Tav. She quickly nuzzled herself into his chest, feeling the heat rolling off his body from their lovemaking. Astarion placed a blanket over the two of them and wrapped his arms around her protectively. 

It didn’t take long before Tav was pulled into sleep's embrace, where no dark thoughts followed her into her dreams—only love. 

Tag list:

Astarion wanted to touch Tav so bad it hurt. 

Well, he had been touching her as much as he could over the last week, but not in the way he wanted to. Not to the extent he had before the forest. Tav and he would kiss under the stars almost every night. If he had a nightmare, she would wake him with sweet words and talk to him about what happened. She was being the perfect partner: caring, patient, understanding, and all the while dealing with feeling sick constantly. 

It was his own mind that would ruin everything. They would be in the middle of one of their positive reinforcement sessions, continuing on like nothing had happened, when suddenly something would trigger him to flinch or freeze slightly, and Tav would put an end to it. 

A tree limb breaking or anything remotely similar would make him jump. Then, a flash of her arm hanging loose in its socket, the sickening feeling that his hands had done that. And then he would pull away, and Tav would say, “I think that's enough for today.” Thus, the session would end.

He didn’t know what the problem was at this point. Tav was healed. She was up walking around, hunting with Oliver almost every day. Looking at her now, no one would be able to tell that over a week ago, she had been close to death's door. That Talontyr had used his body to break her. 

Maybe that was it. The guilt from his body being used to pop her shoulder out of place or the fact that he had been too weak to stop it before it happened. 

The fire cracked beside him, and Astarion jumped at the sound. There was that little dilemma as well; anything that sounded too close to the crunching bone or to Tav’s shoulder being dislocated still made him react. 

He hated it. They didn’t even sleep wrapped up together anymore.

So far, everyone had been too polite to point it out or ask him about it, and he probably had Tav to thank for that. She was been great at finding ways to keep the rest of the party’s attention off of him. Sometimes, she would place her hand on top of his, and just that touch from her was enough of a distraction to give him some comfort. 

Most of the time, the sudden contact wouldn’t make him flinch, but it was the thought that he had hurt her that would cause him to pull away. Then, all he saw was the hurt in her eyes shortly before she gave him a small, sad smile and removed her hand from his. 

It was maddening. 

What made it worse was knowing what she did after their little make-out sessions; taking care of herself. Something he wanted to do for her.

After their first session a week ago, when Tav had been so wound up, and she cried and tore up the inside of her cheeks, that little bit of her blood sent shock waves through him. He could taste the desire on her tongue and felt his own just from that small taste. Pregnancy hormones were no joke, and right about now, Astarion knew that she was getting a heavy dose of them. 

Tav could cry at the drop of a hat. She was overly emotional, to say the least. She showered everyone with hugs and told them how much she appreciated them, which usually turned into sobbing. Astarion hadn’t seen her angry just yet only mildly hangry or annoyed after she got sick one too many times during the day.

At six and a half weeks, things inside Tav would be developing quickly. The heart and many external features were starting to develop, and with rapid growth came an influx of need, which was something he wanted to help with desperately. 

Since meeting Tav and growing their relationship through years of healing, Astarion found that he actually rather enjoyed sex. Craved it almost as much as she did. She was a vision, the perfect partner who was patient with him. How could he not enjoy coupling with her? And staring at her now, knowing that she carried his child, made the desire even worse. 

Her hair was tied back in a loose braid, and several tendrils of dark, curly hair fell around her face. She wore one of his shirts with no bra, judging by the faint outline of her nipples he saw through the cotton. Tav couldn’t wear anything to cover them anyway. She couldn't even wear her armor anymore due to the growth her breasts had gone through. It was already too tight when they started this journey; now, if she tried, the tightness would just make her sick to her stomach. 

She still wore tight-fitting pants that sat low on her hips. It would be weeks before Tav would switch to wearing dresses and skirts. Astarion wondered if she would forego wearing panties like she did before. That would make it easier to give her the sweet release he knew that she would need. 

“What are you staring at?” 

Shadowheart’s voice woke Astarion from his daydream, making him jump. “No one. I mean, nothing… Did you need something from me?”

She followed his line of sight to Tav, crouching down to finish setting up their tent. “I see ‘no one’ indeed.” Shadowheart smiled. “How are things going with the two of you? Haven’t been asked to babysit Apple so that the two of you can go off and get lost in each other's bodies lately.”

They had been sticking around camp and helping with Apple’s training another way to distract him. 

“Though I have noticed Tav sneaking off at night with a book tucked under her arm.” Shadowheart shrugged. “Wonder what that's about.”

Astarion felt his face heat. “Can I help you with anything, or did you just come over here to annoy me?”

She laughed at him. “A little of both, I suppose.” Shadowheart’s expression softened. “Are you truly alright? We are worried about you.” 

Meaning Halsin and Gale. 

“Yes, I am fine. I'm just having a little trouble forgetting.” Astarion looked back towards Tav, who was now talking to Apple. Apple held something up and talked with her whole body, and Tav smiled at her, pulling her into a tight hug from her position on the ground. 

“Why don’t you just bite her and get a dose of her hormones?” 

“What?” Astarion pulled his attention back to Shadowheart. 

“It’s weird seeing the two of you dance around each other like you're walking on eggshells.” Shadowheart rolled her eyes. “You two seem to think we can’t see what’s going on, and even Apple has asked, ‘What’s wrong with my mommy and daddy?’” 

The news that Apple had noticed that something was wrong shocked Astarion. “And how do you know that, exactly?”

“Because she asked Gale if ‘Daddy was mad at Mommy.’” Shadowheart gave him a sympathetic look. “The two of you used to flaunt your public displays of affection, and now you barely hold hands.”

Astarion felt sick. “What else has she noticed?”

“You don’t sleep wrapped up together. You flinch away from her. She has been telling Gale that she thinks you two are fighting because of what happened in Evereska.” Shadowheart patted Astarion on the shoulder. “So I can’t believe I’m asking you to do this, but please bite Tav, drink her blood, and get some of her lovey-dovey hormones.” She let go of him. “We can take Apple out of camp for a while if you would like. Gale wants to collect some mushrooms from the marsh that's nearby anyway.”

They had stopped near the Farsea Marsh for the night, a place with nothing much to offer but frogs and other scaly creatures that Astarion was not interested in visiting. He’d had enough of that when they visited the Hag’s swamp near the Emerald Grove at the start of their adventure together. 

No, if he was being honest with himself, he wanted Tav’s blood. Missed the sweet taste of her on his tongue. Astarion spared a look in Tav’s direction, licking his lips and thinking about sinking his fangs into her neck. Thinking about the little moan that always escaped when he drank from her. Shadowheart began to follow his gaze, and he quickly stopped staring to return to the conversation at hand. 

 “It’s not that simple. My mind keeps replaying what happens randomly, and then I freeze.” Astarion deflated a little. “She stops me every time I shy away from her, even if it’s just for a second.” 

“Then think about something so distracting that your mind simply can’t flash back to what happened.” Shadowheart sighed. “Or bite her while she's sleeping.”

“I’m not biting her in her sleep.” Astarion glared at Shadowheart.”But thinking of something else to distract myself is better than anything Tav and I have tried.”

“I’m full of good ideas, Astarion. Now, what’s something that always makes you happy no matter what and that cannot be connected to the Forgotten Forest in the slightest?” 

Astarion thought about the most mundane, boring, unrelated thing he could think of. “Sewing a new suit.”

“That sounds horrendously drab.”

“It can be if you have no talent for it.” Astarion gave her a toothy grin. “Luckily, it doesn’t involve anything related to what has happened, and there are so many steps I can just go over them in my head.” 

“I don’t care what you think of. All I care about is the two of you going back to being a disgustingly in-love couple.” Shadowheart frowned. “For Apple’s sake.”

Astarion grimaced. That one statement helped him make up his mind. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to finally get over this last hurdle and return to how things were. He wanted to love Tav the way she deserved. 

“So what, you all go on a hike to the marsh, and we have sex?” Astarion looked back at Tav, who was still talking to Apple. 

“Never said sex, but if that's where it leads, then I would rather not be around.” Shadowheart looked around. “I’ll start collecting the others so we can give you two some privacy.” 

She started to walk away, but Astarion stopped her with a hand on his arm.“Thank you.”

“Thank me by making sure Apple stops blaming herself.”

Shadowheart walked away towards Gale’s tent, and Astarion started making his way to Tav. 

When he was about halfway to her, Tav shot up to greet him. Astarion watched as she blinked slowly and staggered slightly, catching herself at the last second. She placed a hand on her forehead while Apple’s face twisted into panic. Astarion quickly closed the distance and placed one hand on Tav’s shoulder, and the other snaked around her waist.

Astarion started going through the steps of tailoring a suit, hoping to the gods that Shadowheart was right.

Step One: get the measurements of the client. Starting at the…

“Daddy!” Apple’s breaths coming in fast. “Something’s wrong with Mom!” 

“I’m fine. I just stood up too fast.” Tav turned to look at Astarion. “I guess I was squatting for too long, and when I got up, all my blood rushed up to my head.” She gave him a big, reassuring smile. “Nothing to worry about.” 

“Why don’t you lie down, darling?” Astarion motioned Tav towards the ground. “Even if you feel fine, it would make Apple and I feel much better if you rested.” 

Step Two: Pick the style of suit the client wants.

“Really, I’m fine.” Tav looked from Astarion back to Apple and Oliver, who both gave her worried expressions.

“Please, Mommy, lie down and rest, and we’ll go get the mushrooms for dinner,” Apple begged with big, watery green eyes.

Good girl, Astarion thought as he watched Tav melt under Apple’s puppy dog eyes. He continued to go through each step, making sure to mark every mundane detail while also paying attention to what was happening around him. The heat from Tav’s skin bled through her cotton shirt into his hands the longer his hands remained on her. And he loved the feeling. Love the scent of her being so close. 

Blackberries and vanilla, warm summer days on the balcony, home, love all the things that Tav embodied and loved about her. 

Step Three: Pick out the fabrics you wish to use starting with the ones…

“Fine, but only for a little while.” Tav let Astarion guide her down to the ground right outside their tent. “Are you going with them?” 

“I’m staying right here with you.” Astarion sat Tav down and started reaching into his bag to grab a jar of blood. “When was the last time you ate?”

“Around lunch, I think.” Tav closed her eyes. “I probably could use something to tide me over until dinner.” When she opened her eyes again, a container of blood was held out in front of her face. “Why, thank you.” She took it and started opening the lid before stopping and looking at Apple. “Are you alright, sweetheart?” 

Apple looked paler than she had a second ago but remained firmly planted in place. “I’m okay. I’ve been practicing the breathing exercises you showed me to calm down.” 

Since returning from the Forgotten Forest, Tav has been working with Apple to help her overcome her new fear of blood and remain calm in the presence of it. 

“Good.” Tav gave her a small smile before opening the jar and drinking until it was empty. “Thank you.” She handed the empty glass to Astarion. 

Step Four: Cut the fabric into patterns and…

“No problem.” Astarion set it aside and pulled a blanket, pillow, and book from inside the tent and sat on the ground with his legs out in front of him. “Now lie down, and you can use my lap as a pillow.” 

Tav let out a deep breath. “Go have fun and stay out of trouble, okay?” She stretched out her arms, and Apple wrapped herself around her. “I love you, honey.”

“I love you too, Mommy.” Apple nuzzled into Tav’s neck for a brief second before letting go and sprinting off to find the others. “I love you, Daddy! Take care of Mom until we get back!” 

Tav waved goodbye, and when she couldn’t see her anymore, began pulling her hair free from her braid. Astarion watched as her mess of thick brown curls came tumbling free and spread over her back. 

“That feels better.” Tav crawled over to lie on Astarion’s lap. 

He sat parallel to the tent's opening, so Tav placed her head on his thighs while the rest of her body lay going into the structure. Astarion covered Tav with a blanket and propped open the book he had grabbed with one hand while the other ran through her hair.

Step Five: Start pinning the fabric together on a mannequin.

“I hope they’re going to be alright.” Tav’s eyes fluttered shut. 

“I’m sure they are going to be fine.” Astarion read the first line of the book he picked and thanked the gods; it was one of Apple’s boring math textbooks. ‘A History of Math and Magic.’ If there were anything duller and more mind-numbing than that, he would have been surprised. “The worst they can come across is an angry frog.”

Tav giggled. “Do you remember that horrible frog in Ethel’s swamp?”

“How could I forget?” Astarion groaned. “It tasted horrible.”

“Serves you right for trying to bite the poor thing.” 

“How was I supposed to know it would have blood like acid?” Astarion propped the book open with one hand and read the first line of text to distract himself. He massaged her scalp lazily. “And at least I learned my lesson. Haven’t taken a bite out of a frog since.” 

Step Six: Adjust pins to fit the client at the second fitting before making the first stitch.

 “That’s good. They don’t look very appetizing. Very slimy.”  Her words were drawn out with a yawn. A low moan came from Tav’s throat. “That feels nice.” 

Before Astarion could reply, he heard Tav’s breathing change, and when he looked down, she was asleep. 

“You must have been more tired than you thought, darling.” Astarion spoke in a soft tone. “I’ll wake you when they get back so you can eat.” He let out a long sigh. “We’ll have to try those ‘lovey-dovey’ hormones another day.” 

He looked down at Tav’s sleeping face and took in her beauty. She was a vision. Long, dark lashes lay perfectly against cheeks speckled with freckles. Her full lips hung open slightly as she took slow, shallow breaths through her nose. With the contrast of her ivory-colored skin and her curly dark brown hair, she looked ethereal, like a goddess. 

Astarion couldn’t help but wonder how he had gotten so lucky. He of course knew when someone was attractive, and Tav definitely was that, but that was not what drew him to her in the first place it was how much she cared that no matter what was going on in her life, she had put him and the others’ needs first. She had taken the time to help him when no one else had in all his years of being a vampire. 

And then there was that part: Tav hadn't cared what he was. She had only seen him as a person. Someone who needed help. And even though he had been a bit bitter, vindictive, and hateful at the start of their adventure together, she still wanted to get to know him for who he was, not just because of his looks. It was almost like the gods had sent her as a form of apology for years of unanswered prayers. 

Almost. Astarion knew that it was likely to have been just blind luck. The gods were never that kind, even to the people who served them on a daily basis. 

Over time, Astarion knew that he had softened quite a bit. He was far from the same person who had woken up after the crash on the nautiloid. That Astarion would have probably laughed at who he had become. He was soft, caring, and so deeply in love with the person who made it all possible. 

Tav. 

He set the book aside and reached for something he would actually enjoy reading. The others wouldn’t be back for at least three hours, depending on how fast it would take them to find what they needed, and he didn’t want to spend that time reading something that was going to put him to sleep. 

Astarion found one of Tav’s romance books and smiled wickedly at the title, Rekindling Death’s Heart. There was a note stuffed into the pages that Tav was using as a bookmark. 

I think you will enjoy this one since I know your taste in men runs a little cold. 

Love you, soldier, Karlach.

P.S., Wyll says it's the pinnacle of trashy romance books.

Astarion snorted before cracking the book's spine and reading the first page. He wanted to see what Tav had been reading when she went to take care of herself while he hadn’t been able to. 

Ten chapters later, and finally, things were getting good. So far, all there had been was build-up in the book. The sexual tension was running high, and Astarion just wanted the two main love interests to fuck already. It was getting ridiculous at this point. 

The main male love interest dripped sex appeal, while the female protagonist seemed like a wide-eyed doe who was new to the ways of the world. Astarion knew that whoever had written this book knew nothing about vampires. Everyone he knew that was a spawn would have bedded the girl at least four times by now, but no, Vauld was taking his sweet time. Letting her come to him because he didn’t want to corrupt her—which was a very unvampire-like quality. 

“This is utter trash.” Astarion flipped several pages ahead. “When does the good stuff happen?” He found what he was looking for in chapter fifteen. “Gods, I would have needed to read fifty more pages. What kind of smut is this!? Darling, we need to get you some better books to read.”

Tav sighed in her sleep at his words. 

“Sorry, my love.” Astarion’s voice was quiet as he ran a hand through Tav’s hair. 

When he was satisfied that she wasn’t going to wake up, Astarion read on. The chapter started out with Vauld healing the protagonist, and to thank him, she decided to satisfy him with her mouth. It went how Astarion thought it would go. Vauld talked her through it and so on until the big finish. What he hadn’t been prepared for was Tav turning in her sleep to nuzzle her face against his crotch. 

Astarion looked down to find Tav’s lips almost pressed against the apex of his thighs. She nuzzled her face into him, and he felt desire shoot straight through him. He couldn’t help but picture Tav’s hazel eyes looking up at him while he had his cock nestled between her lips. Her own center dripping with need while he—

Tav yawned and, in doing so, cut off his thoughts before they could get truly explicit. She lifted herself slowly off of his lap until she was in a seated position next to him. Opening her arms wide, she stretched, turning her head to the side so her neck was exposed. Astarion watched with interest, mouth suddenly going dry and wanting nothing more than to wet it with Tav’s blood. 

Sex and blood walked hand in hand with each other when vampires were involved. Hells, it had always been a large part of Tav’s and Astarion’s sex life, and now that that stupid book had left him wanting, he needed to sate his hunger. 

Tav opened her eyes and looked towards Astarion, still drowsy with sleep. She gave him a small, sweet smile when she saw him staring at her neck. “Are you hungry?” 

Astarion stared at Tav, unmoving. “Yes…” He swallowed hard. “Very.” 

She brushed her hair to the right side of her body. “Here, take a bite.”

He didn’t hesitate at her invitation. Astarion shifted so that he had one hand in Tav’s hair and the other holding her waist. Pressing his lips to her neck, he kissed her gently. His mind was clear and present. The only thing going through his head was his need to taste Tav’s blood on his tongue. To get high off of her. 

The fire cracked behind him, and he froze as his mind snapped back to Tav’s bloody and broken body when he came to. How his hands had done that to her. How he hadn’t been able to stop it from happening and that it was all his fault. 

Astarion felt his hands shaking and his breaths coming in and out of him in short pants. Tav’s scent filled his nose, blackberries and vanilla, and it was choking him. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to feed from her, not after what he had done. 

He started to pull back as his mind spiraled down into darkness until he felt hands press into his back. Astarion froze. 

“It’s okay.” Tav’s voice was sweet. She started moving her hands up and down Astarion’s back. “I’m okay, we’re okay.”

“I know. It’s just…” Astarion paused. “My mind doesn’t see the distinction.”

“Think about something else. Do you remember the first time you bit me?” 

“Yes, of course.” Astarion thought back to the moment. “I was so hungry I woke you up while I was trying to be quiet.” 

“Do you want to know why I really let you bite me?” Tav continued to do small, gentle sweeps up and down Astarion’s back.

Astarion laughed slightly. “Please do not tell me it was because you had always wanted to be bitten by a vampire.” 

“I wanted to know what it would feel like.” 

“And how did it make you feel?” Astarion could feel himself calming down. 

“It hurt at first, but as it went on, I started to like it.” Tav’s voice took on a needier note. “The blood-drinking took some getting used to, but I found that I really liked being bit.” 

  Astarion nuzzled into her neck. “Keep going.”

“Is talking helping?”

“Yes.” 

“Do you want me to talk about anything in particular?” Tav rested her head on his. 

“No, just start talking about anything.” Astarion took a deep breath in. 

“What do you think about the name Lowell for our little troublemaker?” Tav’s voice sounded thoughtful as she spoke. “I thought we should pick something that didn’t start with an A, and it means little wolf.” 

“Lowell.” Astarion tested the name on his tongue. “It sounds perfect, darling.” 

“I thought so.” Tav laughed. “I’ve been really thinking about names lately.” 

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot.” 

“I know you have.” Tav pulled back to look into Astarion’s eyes. “Sorry I asked you to bite me. I was still waking up and didn't know what I was saying. I didn’t mean to try and force you.” 

“No, I want to bite you, Tav.” Astarion looked at her with determination in his eyes. “I want to bite you, hold you, and fuck you so bad that it hurts.” 

“Then bite me.”

“I was about to when the fire.” Astarion looked away. 

“You don’t have to say it. I know what happened.” Tav gave him a sad smile. “Would you like to try again? Or I can bleed into a cup for you.”

“That takes the fun and romance out of it, don’t you think?” Astarion gave her a defeated look. 

“Right, well, here.” 

Tav bit the inside of her cheek and pressed her lips to his. Her tongue stroked his bottom lip, and Astarion let her slip into his mouth. The sweet, coppery, tangy taste of blood slid over his taste buds, and he let out a moan. 

“Tav.””

“Just drink.” Tav cut him off and continued to bite herself during the kiss and push more of her blood into him. “Is this what you need?” Another bite and more blood. “To taste me?” 

Soon, he had forgotten why he hesitated in the first place as his own tongue plunged into Tav’s mouth, searching for more. Astarion felt drunk on her blood and on her kisses, craving more but always coming up empty. The taste would disappear almost the second it hit him. 

Astarion tore himself from Tav and kissed a line down to her jaw, going further until his lips found the most sensitive part of her throat. Her pulse beat hard and fast under his touch. 

“Drink from me, Astarion.” Tav’s words came out in hard, needy pants. “Please.” 

At that, there was no hesitation. Her insistent plea was the only thing that rang through his mind. Astarion sunk his fangs into her neck and drank deep.

Tag list:

Nothing followed them as they made their way southeast in an attempt to get back on the merchant's trail. There were still several hundreds of miles until they found themselves in Yûlash, and Tav knew that the closer they got to their destination, the more anxiety would creep into them. 

After two days of travel and several miles put between them and the Forgotten Forest, there had been no sign that they were being followed. 

No jumbled skeletons, no rotten corpses, and no Talontyr had followed them since the end of the battle when Astarion was freed. It made Tav uneasy, knowing that at any moment, they could be attacked. There were certainly dead bodies all over Faerûn hidden just below the surface, and if Talontyr found them in whatever new body he now inhabited, it would be easy for him to call them to his aid. 

The medallion had pulsed with dark power even from where it sat nestled in Astarion’s bag. It got so distracting that Gale stepped in and wrapped the demonic piece of jewelry in the petals of a sussur flower. 

Now that it had been silenced, it sat under several bags of rice in the wagon so that the magical-negating effects wouldn’t extend to the rest of the party. No one wanted to hold it, and after a long discussion, everyone agreed that the thing was better off hidden away from everyone. 

Tav could still sense that a dark cloud hung over Astarion, and despite asking several times if he was alright, he would brush off the issue. When he thought no one was looking, she had caught him doing breathing exercises. The smaller cracks from the fire didn’t bother him, but when there was a larger pop, he flinched. She knew what it sounded like to his ears because Tav heard the same thing. 

Her shoulder dislocating. 

Even though the wound had long since healed, and she could use her right arm with ease, the sound still haunted him even days later. That Tav could handle. She just needed to make sure he wasn’t around the fire too long; it was when the night terrors started a day later, which really made her worry about him.  

Astarion had started sleeping outside the tent after the first night. He had scared Apple half to death when, on the second night, he had woken up, saw the walls of the enclosed tent, and screamed. Oliver had sprung up, puffed up, and readied for an attack, while the rest of the camp came out of their own tents, looking for an enemy that wasn’t there. Tav had calmed him down with her words after he had jerked away from her touch. 

The rejection had stung, but Tav knew that it wasn’t anything personal —just a knee-jerk reaction. After that, she was careful not to touch him unless he initiated it first. 

Astarion had apologized for his reaction, but Tav merely smiled at him and told him that there was no need. She knew what he was going through and wasn’t about to blame him for something his unconscious mind did. However, Tav did notice every moment of hesitation after that. 

“I am so sick of this.” Tav wiped the back of her mouth with her hand as she finished throwing up her lunch. She was beyond tired, having woken up fatigued and sore.

It had been two days since the last time Astarion had eaten anything. Two days and they hadn’t seen a single animal that wasn’t a tiny field mouse or some other type of small rodent. All the other animals had vacated the area surrounding the Forgotten Forest, or they had become its victims. 

Tav wanted to find something for Astarion to eat. He refused to feed from her on the grounds of her needing the blood more than he did and the fact that he seemed to have to force himself to touch her. Despite the hurt, Tav wouldn’t let him go without. 

Astarion would remind her that he had gone without for great lengths of time before she had met him and that he could wait to eat until something crossed their path. The statement just made her want to feed him more because there was no doubt in her mind that his hunger was adding fuel to the night terrors. 

“ Why don’t we take a break? You look terrible.” Oliver sat on his hind legs and fixed her with a cool stare. 

Once they had stopped for the night, Tav had taken the opportunity to go off with Oliver and try to find something to eat. With his superior nose and her tracking skills, she had thought that it would have been easy to track something to bring back, but so far, she was being proven wrong on that front. 

“ I’m fine, just a little morning sickness.” Tav took some deep breaths before straightening and looking east. “ I think I see some tracks up ahead.” 

“If you say so.” Oliver rolled his eyes and bounded where Tav pointed. 

If Tav was being honest with herself, she felt terrible. Between her right calf throbbing, the fatigue from lack of blood, and the constant vomiting that didn’t restrict itself to just the morning, she knew that she looked like a mess, which is why she was out here in the first place, looking for something to eat. 

Tav had been watching Astarion teaching Apple how to hold a knife. On top of teaching her not to be afraid of blood anymore, they both agreed that it was time to show her how to defend herself like they had promised a few weeks back. 

They had just gotten to the part of the lesson where he was having her stab a sack filled with dried grass when Tav smelled something on the wind. Fresh dung, to be precise. The wind was blowing west, which told her that the animal had to be east of their camp, and close. By the smell, it had to be a larger animal, maybe a deer or even an elk. So, without hesitation, Tav grabbed her bow, told the rest of the camp where she was heading, and took Oliver on the hunt. 

It was a little underhanded to sneak off without Astarion knowing, but she knew that he needed some time with Apple—some time to rest—and they weren’t going far. Based on the smell, the animal was close, maybe a mile away at most. 

Easy, really. Just a short walk and they would have fresh blood and meat. 

What Tav had found was that it wasn’t easy. Her head pounded in time with each soft step of her boot, and the world began to bleed around the edges of her eyes. Fatigue was getting the better of her, and so was the growing anemia from the child in her belly feeding off of her blood. 

She was about to call it quits when what they had been tracking finally came into view. 

A large elk stood, its back turned away from them, feeding on a patch of grass. The bull was easily eight feet tall, as from this distance, it looked to be about the same size as the horses back at camp. It had large antlers that went up and curved towards its back. Tav remained quiet, not wanting the animal to learn her location and charge at her with those impressive horns. And wanting to take it down. It would feed everyone at camp, including her, Astarion’s, and Apple’s need for blood. 

So he could stop starving himself.

Tav crouched to obscure herself in the tall grass. “ Stay here. I’m going to move around to get a better shot.” She needed a clear shot to get an arrow through the beast's heart if she wanted any chance of taking down the massive animal. “Actually, head back and get Astarion. I’m going to need his help.”

“Are you sure?” Oliver looked from her to the elk and back. “ Will you be alright if I leave you alone?”

The small fox had become protective of her since they bonded. Tav knew that he saw her as his new mother figure and that Apple had become something of a pack mate. It was heartwarming to see that he had become a part of their family so quickly. “ I will be fine. Now go before this thing decides to move on.” 

Oliver did what he was told and sprinted off in the direction of camp. Tav started moving slowly with her bow-ready arrow nocked to strike. The elk munched happily on the grass, ears twitching slightly at the subtle sounds Tav’s feet made. 

Once Tav was facing the broad side of the animal, she drew back all the way, lining up her shot so that it would take down the elk in one shot. The heart and lungs were easier to hit from the side on large animals as there was more surface area to hit. If Tav got the heart right off the bat, the animal would die instantly, but if she hit the lungs, she would have to wait until it choked on its own blood, and that would require a chase. 

She didn’t have the energy to continue chasing the animal, and with how sparse food was out here, the last thing Tav needed was to come across another hungry beast whom she would have to fight for the elk.

Focusing her eyes the best she could with her vision going in and out of focus, Tav let the arrow fly, and sent up a prayer to every god and goddess who watched over hunters. It landed with a powerful thud into the beast directly where Tav wanted it to go. 

The elk let out a loud, painful cry right before it toppled over where it was once enjoying its meal. Dead. 

Walking over to get a good look at her kill, Tav felt proud of herself despite feeling as shitty as she did. Finally, she could feed Astarion and actually do something to help him. Now, she didn’t feel useless. 

Tav fell to her knees before the elk, the dizziness finally getting the better of her. Nausea twisted her stomach in knots, but since there was nothing there, all she could do was gag. “Stop, please.” She begged her body to stop, and to her surprise, it listened. 

Taking a small jar from her pack, Tav sliced a tiny hole in the neck of the dead creature and collected the blood that sprang free. When the container was filled to her liking, she shoved a bit of cloth into the incision she had made to stop the bleeding until Astarion came to help her further. 

Heat spread from the blood, warming the glass, and Tav took a few deep breaths before she drank the thick liquid down. 

It felt odd drinking it hot and with nothing to muddle the taste of iron on her tongue. The heat radiated through her stomach and made her whole body feel warm. Within a few minutes, her vision cleared, and hunger no longer ripped at her insides. She didn’t know how long the feeling would last since the troublemaker growing inside her liked to evict the food she ate at random times during the day. 

With Apple, her morning sickness had done what the name implied, causing her to vomit in the wee hours of the day, usually right after waking up. This time around, since hitting her fifth week of pregnancy, it was anyone's guess when it would happen. 

 Tav pointed at her stomach. “Now, don’t be such a picky little shit. We need to keep some food down if you don’t want me to keel over and die from starvation.” All she got in return was a grumble, and then her hunger returned. “So more food then, alright.” 

After the second glass, Tav went for a third, filling the cup only for the nausea to return, followed by the world spinning around her. Placing the cup down beside her, she quickly laid down flat on her back and closed her eyes to stop the sensation of spinning. To her surprise, it worked, and Tav decided that the freshly poured blood would be for Astarion. 

Twenty minutes of waiting passed before Tav heard Astarion approaching. After years of hunting and being by his side, his quiet footfalls were easy to detect.  He stopped a few feet from her, and Tav opened her eyes to find him looking down at her with curiosity etched into his features.

She looked at him and smiled. “I found dinner.”

“I can see that.” Astarion’s eyes flicked to the elk for a second, and he quickly licked his lips before his gaze returned to hers. “Is there a reason you are lying in the dirt, my love?” 

Tav watched his subtle movement and wished for nothing more than to have him press his lips to hers and explore her mouth. She would take him simply drinking from her. She wanted him that bad. It had been over a week since the last time they had made love, and Tav was already feeling the withdrawal. The need just to have him. 

She missed so many things about him, and he was still always so close. The feeling of him making love to her. Kissing him. Holding him. Waking up to him next to her in the morning. But Tav would continue to endure until Astarion was ready. Pregnancy hormones be damned. 

Shaking the impure thoughts from her head, Tav started to stand on her own and stopped when Astarion stretched out his hand for her to take. “This was the only position where I didn’t feel like I was going to puke.” 

“Ah.” Astarion pulled Tav to her feet, stopping just shy of tugging her into an embrace. “Is our latest miracle giving you a hard time, darling?” 

“Yes.” Tav let out a long sigh as she spoke. “But it seems all I need to do is lie down for about twenty minutes after eating, and he stops.” 

“Well, that's good at least.” Astarion’s eyes looked over Tav’s face, searching for something. 

“I’m fine, Astarion. There are no new cuts or bruises.” Tav gave him a reassuring smile.

“I wish you had told me that you were coming out here to hunt.” Astarion hesitated slightly before he brushed a lock of her hair that had broken free of her braid behind Tav’s ear. “It nearly gave me a heart attack when I saw you were no longer watching our training session.” 

“I told the rest of the camp and took Oliver with me so everyone knew where I was.” Tav kept her hands at her side, fighting the urge to wrap them around him. She longed to touch him. 

Astarion put her out of her misery, moving her hands for her so that they wrapped around the back of her neck. “I’m not so fragile that you can’t touch me.” His voice was feather light and just as soft.

“I know, but with all the night terrors and after what happened in the forest and what you said the night after everything happened.” Tav chewed on her bottom lip. “I just don’t want to make you do anything you’re not ready for.”

“And I appreciate that, but you avoiding touching me altogether isn’t helping either.” Astarion gave her a tight smile. 

“Ever since the night terrors started, I’m afraid that you don’t want me to touch you.” Tav looked down, not wanting to look into Astarion’s eyes. 

“Just don’t touch me when I wake up from one, and we will be fine.” Astarion used his thumb and forefinger so that she looked at him again. “In my dreams, I relive what happened to you, and the shame of it makes me a little on edge.” 

“I just don’t want you to resent me for pushing you too soon, so I’ll just wait for you to touch me.” Tav doubled down, giving him a look of determination. “You want to kiss, but you have to kiss me first. You want to touch me, but you have to initiate it first.” Her voice lowered. “I see the way you hesitate when you want to touch me, and I’m scared that you’ll always do that or that you will have to force yourself to do anything with me because of some social obligation.” 

 There was a look of shock that faded into guilt on Astarion’s face. “Am I really that obvious?” 

“So you have been forcing yourself to touch me?” Tav felt the first sting of hot tears threatening to spring free behind her eyes. 

“Tav, I’m sor—” 

“I made you a glass of blood.” Tav cut him off, not wanting to hear him apologize for something that was out of his control. Pulling away from him, she quickly bent down to grab the cup and snapped back up to hand it to him. “It’s not warm anymore, but it's still fresh, so drink up. There's plenty more where that came from.”

She went back down. Crouching next to the elk's body, Tav ignored the pain in her calf and began working on setting up their usual method of gathering blood. She could feel her chest getting tighter as she fought to keep the emotions from clawing their way up her throat. Her eyes stung, and she knew that she was crying when something wet rolled down her cheek. 

Tav felt stupid for letting herself feel this way, but the more she tried to suppress her feelings, the stronger they fought back. She didn’t want to feel hurt by the confirmation that he was forcing himself to touch her. Astarion needed time to heal, to process what had happened, but that didn’t stop her heart from cracking.

“Tav…” Astarion said her name with a sigh. 

“I’m fine. It’s these damned pregnancy hormones.” Tav swiped at her eyes. “I can’t get them to stop!”

Astarion crouched beside her, and Tav did her best not to look at him. She hoped that if she just continued on, her brain would override her stupid heart, and the hurt would stop trying to rip her in two.

Just when Tav finally got the draining bucket in place, she felt a cold hand on her right cheek. 

“You don’t have to force yourself to touch me.” Tav’s nose began to run, and she sniffled lightly to keep the mucus from escaping. “I just need a minute, really. I’m fine.”

There was a slight pull before Tav finally relented and followed the tug to face Astarion. His red eyes stared directly into her soul and caused more tears to come spilling out. “I want to touch you.” 

“I’m sorry.” Tav squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to get them to stop.  “I’m not trying to manipulate you or do anything like that.” A hiccup escaped her throat. “I really don’t know why I’m crying, and I can’t stop.” 

“You’re crying because I hurt your feelings and didn’t do a very good job of covering up my little problem.” Astarion brushed away a newly formed tear that ran down Tav’s cheek. “Which was wrong of me, and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, please… You have every reason not to want to touch me.” Tav opened her eyes. “Just let me cry it out, and I’ll be back to normal in about twenty minutes.” She stood, and Astarion did the same. “It's only been a few days. I know you need more time to process everything that happened, but I’m tired and hormonal, and that makes for a very emotional wife.” 

Astarion’s voice took on a more demanding tone. “Listen to me.” Tav sucked in a breath and gave him her full attention. “I want to touch you. I want to kiss you. I want to make love to you until we are both sore and tired. That is why I force myself to touch you: because I want to. Not out of any social obligation or because I feel that I have to.” He brushed her cheek with his thumb. “I want to get back to the way we were as fast as possible because I love you more than anything, and it pains me whenever I hesitate for even a second.”

“I love you too.” Tav took a deep breath and bit her bottom lip until she tasted blood. “So what do we do?”

Tav took note of the slight dilation of Astarion’s pupils before he looked at her mouth and then back to her eyes. “We continue to live the way we have been until there is no hesitation.” Astarion leaned closer to Tav until their lips were almost touching. “Continue loving one another till our dying breaths.” 

His other hand grabbed her waist and pulled Tav in close until their bodies were pressed against one another. Astarion gently pressed his lips to hers, almost testing to see what Tav would do next. She kissed him back and he relaxed into the feel of her. 

Tav closed her eyes and poured every ounce of love she could into the tender moment they now shared. Astarion sighed into the kiss and brushed his tongue over her lower lip, asking for permission to enter, which she gladly gave him. A moan escaped Astarion’s throat at the taste of blood coating her mouth, the mix of both hers and the beast that lay at their feet’s. 

His other hand moved from her cheek and found its way to her backside, squeezing lightly and pulling her more firmly against him. Tav stopped him with her hand against his chest. “No.” Her voice sounded breathy. 

Astarion halted his pursuit. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”

Tav opened her eyes and met Astarion’s gliding over her face, looking for any sign of discomfort again. “No, I’m fine. More than fine, really.” She could feel a flush moving up her neck. “I just don’t want you to force yourself to do anything you're not ready for.” 

“I’m not forcing myself to do this, Tav.” Astarion closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers.

“I don’t think you are ready for too much yet. Why don’t we take it slow?” Tav gave him a timid smile. “We can start with kissing, then we can add more when you are ready.”

 “What if I’m ready now?” Astarion brushed his thumb over her bottom lip. “Maybe all I need is to nullify the old feelings and replace them with something better.” 

“I would say you’re lying.” Tav bit his thumb. “We have all the time in the world, and I would rather we wait a bit longer so you have more time to process everything.”

“Why don’t we have a little positive reinforcement session every night until we get over this little bump in the road?” Astarion gave her a flirtatious smile. 

“I have no objections to that.”

“And what will you do if you get too hot and bothered? Will you let me take care of you?” Astarion raised his brows. 

 “I am more than capable of satisfying myself until then.” Tav gave her own flirtatious smile.

“Well, then.” Astarion leaned in close, brushing his lips on Tav’s. “We’d better start the healing process before you forget who's truly superior.” He gave her a wicked grin. “I don’t want to lose to your hand now, do I, darling? That would just be sad.”

“You’re right, that would be.” She shrugged. “But I don’t think that would ever happen.”

“Why is that?” 

“Because I’m mostly thinking about you when I have my hand between my legs.” Tav moved her mouth so that it was almost brushing Astarion’s. 

“Mostly?”Astarion mocked being offended. “We’ll have to fix that.”

Tav thought of all the ways they could go about doing just that, and the idea made her bite her lip again. Fresh blood filled her mouth. 

Astarion’s nostrils flared. “Are you bleeding for me love?”

“Yes.” Tav’s voice was breathy with need.

“Then give me a taste.” Astarion’s voice was soft with need as he spoke. 

Astarion pressed his lips to Tav’s and licked her bottom lip, asking for permission to enter. She gave it to him without hesitation. His tongue slid into Tav’s mouth and tasted blood, the action pulling a moan from him. It was like fireworks were going off between them, and Tav never wanted the feeling to stop. Never wanted him to stop. 

“You taste delicious, my love.”

His admission sent a rush of need straight to Tav’s core, and she did her best to force the feeling away. 

“Not until he is ready,” Tav told herself, doing her best to put out the wildfire burning within her.

They kept kissing long after the blood had stopped in Tav’s mouth. Astarion pulled her hair free of its braid to weave his hands in and get a better grip. It felt good feeling him ravage her, but they needed to stop. There was still much to do today, and they had plenty of time to focus on healing.  

Tav broke the kiss. She panted from the lack of oxygen.“We need to start draining and breaking down this elk before we have to do it in the dark.” 

Opening his eyes, Astarion looked towards the setting sun. “You’re right. Let's get started.” He pressed one last, quick kiss to Tav’s lips before taking her hand and squeezing it lightly. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

Tag list:

Waiting until Astarion left camp for a walk to clear his head, Tav wrote a quick note and stuck it to the front flap of the tent they shared just in case he came back looking for her. Tav wandered into the tall grass when the rest of camp wasn’t looking.  She couldn’t take the look in Astarion’s eyes. It reminded her of when his old master, Cazador, was still alive. He looked haunted. 

She knew that he blamed himself for what happened to her back in the Forgotten Forest, and no amount of her insisting that it wasn’t his fault had gotten her anywhere. Astarion still looked at her as if she was broken. Or rather, that guilt swam through his veins about not being able to fight against the possession.

But she could never blame him for what happened. In fact, Tav wished that she had done more to prevent everything that had happened. She wished more than anything that she had been stronger, faster, and more resilient.

Less useless. 

That feeling settled deep into her bones—doubt that she was capable of doing more than getting herself and the people she cared about hurt or put into situations that put their lives in jeopardy. 

They were on this stupid adventure because of her. She had freed Angharradh from the tree, and though it had been by accident, it was still her arrow that broke the seal. 

Her injury at the hand of the bandit. 

Putting Apple in danger. 

The kidnapping. 

Her inability to stop Astraion from getting taken over.

Failure… How could she be a leader with so many failures?

A muffled curse broke the silence in the air. She had come out here to get herself together and wash away the unseen filth that covered her, but all the silence was doing so far was pulling her further down into the dark. 

Tav slapped her cheeks with her hands to pull herself out of her darkening thoughts. This was not the time for self-doubt. It was time for a cleansing of sorts. Wallowing in self-pity would only cause harm to their already volatile situation. Astarion would come looking for her once he was done clearing his head, and then she would talk to him about everything again. Plead for him to accept the fact that it wasn’t his fault, and then they could make a plan to move forward in the morning when everyone had gotten some rest. 

Right now, it was time for Tav to filter out her own uncertainties with one last good scrub. 

Stamping down the grass around her, Tav made a circle to give herself some room. The dried grass would feel itchy on her skin, and she didn’t need anything else to add to her discomfort. 

Once satisfied with her bathing area, Tav produced a bucket, shampoo, two washclothes, and several scrolls that would help her have enough water for what she needed to do. 

Then came her clothes. Tav quickly stripped, the cool night air feeling nice on her warm skin. Activating one of the scrolls overhead, Tav shuddered at the icy cold liquid that pelted her, the freezing water causing every muscle in her body to tense. 

The water that didn’t end up on her quickly filled the bucket sitting adjacent to Tav. She dipped one of the cloths in before lathering it up with a small dollop of shampoo. When the cloth was foaming, she pressed it gently to her skin and began scrubbing. It felt nice, like silk gliding over her skin. 

Overhead, the moon shone down upon her. As she admired the beauty of the pale orb in the sky her, stomach dipped, and she felt a shift in the space around her. With a quick blink, gone was the tall grass that shielded her and instead she stood on an endless pool of water. A groan escaped from her throat. 

Seeing Angharradh was the last thing Tav wanted to do today. 

Though she had come to an understanding of the goddess, Tav would be just as desperate if Apple had gone missing. So, they found some common ground through the shared aspect of being mothers. But if Astarion came looking for her only to find that she had vanished, it might just give him a heart attack. 

Tav sighed. “Can’t we have this conversation on the material plane?” 

“You know that we cannot.” Angharradh’s face was blank. “Being on your plane drains my magic.” Her face softened. “Are you alright?”

Her concern took Tav by surprise. “I’m fine. A little beat up, but I've had worse.” 

“I only ask because I was unable to sense you for a long time.” Angharradh’s eyes roamed over Tav’s body, making her feel uncomfortable. 

“Well, I was in the Forgotten Forest for two days. Could that have anything to do with it?” Tav raised her brows. The tree cover in the forest had been thick, barely letting the sun's rays through the moon's pale light wouldn’t have been able to break through.

Angharradh’s face twisted into an angry expression. “That Forgotten Forest is a cursed place. I should have known going to Evereska would have led you there.”

Tav’s anger flared. “Then why didn't you say anything the last time we spoke!?” She felt hot as she spoke, the rage warming her body despite her lack of clothes. “We wasted so much time searching Evereska! I got kidnapped! Astarion was used like a puppet! All the while, you knew about it and let us go in blind!” 

Her expression fell back into a cool, expressionless mask. “I didn't want you to wake up what slumbers there.” 

“Well, it’s far too late for that!” Tav got into the goddess's face and screamed. “Talontyr is free and somewhere amongst the rot of this world!”

“He’s what?” Some of the stars in Angharradh’s eyes winked out of existence.

“You heard me.” Tav’s voice was a growl. “Thousands are dead in that forest, used as sacrificial lambs to break him free.”

“Their bodies did much more than break him free of his long rest, Tav. They have broken a seal that is one of three that keeps the true monster at bay.” Angharradh took a steadying breath before elaborating further. “What do you know of the god of decay, Moander?”

“Very little.” Tav frowned. “Only what Astarion gathered from Talontyr while they were sharing the same body.” 

“Then I will tell you all I know.” Angharradh cursed to herself. “I should have known that Mielikki’s disappearance had something to do with him, but I suppose it was hope that kept it from my mind.” 

She turned from Tav and conjured two plush benches. Angharradh took a seat, spreading out so that her legs no longer touched the ground. Rolling her eyes, Tav followed and did the same on the second. 

“Comfortable?” Tav looked at the goddess with a hint of irritation in her voice. 

“Yes.” Angharradh either didn’t notice the sarcasm or chose to ignore it. “In the year 1357 DR, my daughter, Mielikki, and a group of mortals sealed Moander in a prison on the Astral Plane. He had set his eyes on turning the material plane into his own rotten world.”

“How did they figure that out?” Tav searched her memory for anything related to this story and came up dry. “If he was so much of a threat, why isn’t this common knowledge?”

“Shh. I’m getting to that if you would just stop asking questions and listen.” Angharradh shot Tav a look that reminded her of when she was in school and talked during a lecture. “As I was saying, Talontyr had killed and taken over one of the party member’s body and used his charms to seduce his way into their bed and impregnate them.” 

A shiver went up Tav’s spine. Talontyr had wanted to do the same to her while in Astarion’s body. The idea that he had succeeded once before made Tav feel sick. 

“He lived amongst them for weeks to ensure that his seed had taken root, and once it did, the host spread death everywhere they went without knowing.” Angharradh’s face softened for a moment before the cool mask slipped back into place. “The member of the party started to wither and rot from the inside after a few weeks, causing her to get violently sick and be bedridden for days. Once they found that she was pregnant, pretending to be concerned, Talontyr convinced the party to make a pilgrimage to the city of Yûlash, which at the time had been destroyed by dragons, but he spun a tale of a fountain hidden under the city that could heal any ailment.”

“The city was where Moander was hiding, wasn’t it?” Tav’s question was answered by a nod from Angharradh.

“Indeed. After weeks of travel, they quickly found a path that led under the city. Talontyr cut the babe from its mother's belly and laid it upon an altar before anything could be done to stop him.”

Tav placed a hand over her own stomach, thinking of the same happening to her. “That’s horrible.” 

“The sacrifice of both mother and the seed of rot broke Moander free from his shackles, and it had taken everything Mielikki and the rest of her party had to seal him back into his cage and do the same to Talontyr.”

Something wasn’t adding up to Tav. “Talontyr had been sealed in the Forgotten Forest. If he was sealed with Moander, how would they end up in two different locations?”

“After they had finished, one of their party members, a wizard by the name of Elminster, wove a spell that trapped Talontyr in the body he had inhabited, then placed him in the Forgotten Forest.” 

Hearing the name of Gale’s old friend made Tav wonder if Elminster had shared this tale before with him. If he hadn’t, it would be worth trying to get a hold of the old wizard to see if what Angharradh was saying was true or if there was more to the story. 

“With the help of Elminster and my daughter, Mielikki, they ensured that neither Moander nor Talontyr would rise again.” 

Tav cut her off. “Yeah, they failed in doing that.” 

“Moander still slumbers, does he not?” Angharradh snapped at Tav. 

Shrugging, Tav huffed out a sigh. “Hard to say. The warlock who took me captive and tried to fill me with his own rotten seed seemed to be having full conversations with him in his head.” 

“So he has warlocks doing his bidding.” Angharradh placed her hand over her mouth and proceeded to get lost deep in her own thoughts.

This adventure had turned into a mess, going from a simple find and escort back mission to fighting a god and his Chosen. Tav felt a wave of nausea course through her at all the information that she had just learned and what it all meant for her and everyone else back at camp. Sealing a god back into a tomb they didn’t want to be in was already a hefty task, but also locating Mielikki on top of all that. Tav had no doubt in her mind where the goddess was: at the very place she had sealed Moander. 

“What exactly was used to seal Moander?”

Angharradh snapped her attention back to Tav. “Three seals that needed to be broken in a chain. One in the High Forest guarded by Mielikki.”

That seal was broken since Mielikki was missing. 

“The second is in the Forgotten Forest, where Talontyr’s body was hidden, and that required a large sacrifice to  break.” 

He was free, making two seals already broken. 

“And the last under Yûlash.”

“How do you break that one exactly?” Tav needed to know if she wanted to keep the last seal intact.

“Mielikki had told me once that two medallions needed to be reunited and requires a mother's sacrifice.”

Tav thought about the warlock that she had escaped and the lavish emblem he had been speaking to during their trip to the temple. Astarion held what must be the second medallion that he collected from Talontyr’s corpse. The last bit confused her. “Mother's sacrifice” could mean many things, but she guessed that it had to do with the “seed of rot,” something that at present didn’t exist in the world. 

“I don’t think we have to worry about the last one being a problem,” Tav said with confidence.

Tav didn’t know where Talontyr was, but he wouldn’t be able to conceive a child with someone and gather the two medallions, one of which they had in their possession, and make it to Yûlash before they could. It was a four-week journey; five if they wanted to avoid going through the Saiyaddar desert.

If they were smart about the rest of the adventure, all they needed to do was get to Yûlash, free Mielikki, get out, return her to Angharradh, give them the medallion to deal with, and head back to Baldur’s Gate. Simple. 

“You seem confident, so I will take your word for it.” Angharradh shifted in her seat. “Tav, I have something else I would like to speak to you about.”

Tav’s eyebrows creased. “What? Don’t tell me you’re worried about me because I won’t believe you for a second. Not after all you’ve done.” 

Angharradh let out a small chuckle. “No, it’s not that; in fact, it’s the opposite. I am impressed by your strength and have been pleased with everything so far. You have gone above and beyond what I expected, and in doing so, I wish to offer you the position of my Chosen.” 

Words were lost to Tav at Angharradh's question. This had been the last thing she expected her to ask. 

After everything that happened, Angharradh had some nerve asking this of Tav. Agreeing would mean being her lap dog when something needed to be done that put the world in jeopardy. But it also meant power. 

Power that could be used to protect the ones she loved. 

Tav shook the thought from her mind. After this adventure, she and Astarion would be done setting off into the unknown. They would stay put in Baldur’s Gate to raise Apple and their child who grew inside her. “No. Thank you for the offer, but I will have to decline.” 

“Very well,” Angharradh said calmly. “The offer will still stand until I find another, just in case you change your mind.” She gave Tav a smug smile. 

“I won’t.” Tav stood. “Now, if we are done here, I wish to go back before my husband finds me missing.” 

Without another word, Angharradh disappeared, and the tall grass appeared in front of Tav once again. 

Taking the soap and wet washcloth, Tav began scrubbing her skin, resuming her attempt at cleaning her body. After several minutes, she cast a spell that sent water cascading down to rinse the bubbles from her skin and moved on to her hair. 

“ Where are you?” 

Oliver’s voice startled Tav as it broke the quiet peace of the night. “ Washing in the tall grass. Why? Is something wrong?”

“No. The fanged one is looking for you.” Oliver sounded bored. 

“Tell him where I am.”

Tav’s right arm felt sore from her relentless scrubbing, so she let it hang limply at her side while she continued to scrub at her hair. 

It took only a few minutes before Tav felt Astarion’s eyes on her, and she stopped scrubbing to give him a large, teasing smile. “I was hoping no one would notice my absence.” The sadness in his tight smile made her regret what she had said, even more so when he looked at her right arm draped at her side.

For the rest of the night, Tav made sure Astarion was comforted, pushing her conversation with Angharradh to tomorrow's agenda. Right now, he needed her. Every crack of the campfire and bottle of wine popped open made him flinch, and as a result, made Tav want to cry. So she stayed by his side, giving him comfort the only way she could right now, pulling his attention back to her through light touches. 

And by the end of the night, the flinches became less common. Tav wanted more than just to give him small, reassuring caresses. She wanted to show him that she wasn’t broken. She wanted to cleanse her soul as well, become one, and take solace in the fact that they both were alive and together again, but Astarion wasn’t ready for that. And Tav wouldn’t push him into doing anything he wasn’t ready for. 

So, she would wait until he was ready to be intimate with her again no matter how long that took.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tav woke early, when the sun had just started to rise over the eastern horizon. She looked to her left to find that Astarion was still deep in trance, and when she peeked over her shoulder, she found Apple and Oliver curled up together, sleeping soundly. The sight warmed her heart. It was nice that Apple had someone to bond with that was of the same mental age. 

Though she had never voiced any complaints about being around only adults for most of the journey so far, Tav knew that Apple missed her friends, or really missed having someone to play with around her age. The mid-winter festival had been the last time she had truly seen Apple play, and now, with Oliver, that was back. 

A loud groan escaped Tav’s stomach, and she placed a hand over the area in an attempt to quiet the sound. “Shh, you’re going to wake the whole tent,” Tav whispered to herself. “I suppose I should feed you before you start revolting against me.” 

Moving slowly, Tav stood and quietly left the tent, grabbing her bag that sat just at the mouth of the tent. The air was crisp and cold, sending a shiver straight through her. She walked over to the campfire, or rather what remained of it from last night. It had burned down to just a few coals, but it wouldn't be hard to bring back to life; there were plenty of dried branches that would light quickly. 

Taking a few minutes to collect her kindling, Tav’s stomach let out another long, hungry growl, demanding food. “You are a very demanding baby. You know that, right?” 

Before going to bed last night, Astarion had made sure she had eaten double her usual portions of everything to make up for the lack of food over the last twenty-four hours. By all rights, she shouldn't have been hungry, but eating for two meant larger portions and eating more frequently. Tav wondered if carrying a boy meant anything different would happen during this pregnancy. Would she crave different things? With Apple, all she had wanted to eat were cakes and other sweet things. 

She craved the opposite now. Tav wanted hard cheese, bread, and salted meats. 

After throwing the branches on the coals, the fire quickly took the fuel and blazed hot in a matter of minutes. The heat sank deep into Tav’s bones, and once she was satisfied with how warm she was, she sat down and started pulling what she desired from her bag. 

“Okay, you can choose what we eat more often.” Tav leaned back and patted her full belly. She had ended up eating a loaf of bread, a large chunk of hard cheese, and several slices of salted beef. On top of all the solid food, she had drank the last of the blood-juice mixture Astarion had made for her. He would be proud of how much she ate, and when he woke up, she was going to tell him as much. 

Tav wanted to lighten his load when it came to taking care of her. Though he had promised her that he would no longer blame himself for what happened, she knew that he still would. Not because he wanted to, but because he felt that he could have done more to prevent it, which Tav knew he couldn't have. Talontyr had been one powerful necromancer chosen by a god to do their bidding, and he was still floating around somewhere. Tav had no idea where, but hopefully, it was far away from her and Astarion.

Sitting and watching the sunrise, Tav sat in quiet contemplation, thinking of the best way to tell the others about the information Angharradh had given her last night. There was no need to tell anyone other than Astarion about the Chosen offer since she wasn’t going to take her up on the offer. The problem was that Tav had been sitting on this information all night and hadn’t said a word. 

Telling Astarion when it had really happened might make him feel as if Tav had been hiding it from him, which wasn’t the case at all. There had just been so much going on, and it wasn’t like she was going to keep the information to herself. She finally settled on just telling everyone the truth and dealing with what came after. 

The tent she shared with Apple and Astarion started moving. 

“Tav!?” Astarion’s voice sounded panicked from inside the tent. 

“I’m just out here!” Tav called out, saving him from the heart attack he was certainly having. 

Astarion opened the tent and visibly relaxed when he saw that she was just eating around the fire. “Next time, wake me if you’re going to leave the tent, darling.” He started his way towards Tav.

“Sorry.” Tav stood and walked over to meet him halfway. “You just looked so peaceful I didn’t want to wake you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him lightly. 

Astarion returned the kiss. “Did you already eat?” 

“Yup! I’m well fed, and I’ve had some blood.” Tav let go of him, reaching into her bag to pull out some blood for him. “This is the last of the blood, I’m afraid, unless you have some in your bag.” 

Astarion took the jar and downed its contents before replying, “I have enough to get through the rest of today, but once we leave this place, I’m sure I’ll be able to find something to eat.”

Blood dripped from the right side of his mouth, and Tav used her finger to wipe it up. She held the bloody digit up in front of his lips and smiled. “Such a messy eater. Open up—we don’t want anything to go to waste.” 

He did what he was told, taking the finger into his mouth and sucking until it was clean. Pulling the finger out, Tav pushed down the wave of desire that shot straight to her core. Her pregnancy hormones were coursing through her early this morning, and at five weeks now, they were ramping up.

“Thank you, darling.” Astarion looked at Tav with concern. “Are you alright? You look as if you are about to be sick?” 

Tav let out a steadying breath. “No, I’m fine. I just have a lot to tell you.”

Taking the opportunity to distract herself from her lust for Astarion, Tav told him everything that she had learned last night. His face took on a sour expression like she knew it would. 

Astarion frowned. “I wish you would have told me this last night after it had happened.” 

“There were a lot of things going on last night, so I made the call to share after everyone had gotten a good night's rest.” Tav gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.” 

“I guess it doesn’t really matter when you told me.” Astarion forced a small smile. “At least it was the next day.” 

“And that’s exactly what I thought.” Tav continued telling Astarion everything that she learned. 

Astarion took in the information and came to the same conclusion that Tav had: They needed to go to Yûlash and get this adventure over with. 

“I think we should go around the desert.” Tav didn’t want to be stranded with no water. 

“That would be preferable.” Gale emerged from his tent. “I caught the tail end of your story, Tav. So are we heading to Yûlash after breakfast?”

“Yes, and if we go around the Saiyaddar Desert, we should get there in five weeks.” Tav threw her bag containing all their food to Gale. 

“Excellent!” Gale started to pull from the bag. 

It didn’t take long for the rest of the party to wake up and join them at the fire. Oliver and Apple came out yawning, hair a mess, and stretching. The fox trotted up to Tav to rub his face on her calf. 

“This needs to be changed. It smells.” Oliver’s golden eyes looked at her with concern.

“I will after everyone has eaten.” Tav picked the kit up and scratched his fur.

Oliver leaned into the touch. “Please see that you do. I don’t want you to die from infection.”

Sadness gripped Tav’s heart. The small fox had already seen so much death, and the fact that he didn’t want to see hers was sweet. 

After the meal had been divided up into portions for everyone minus Tav and Astarion, Angharradh’s story was shared along with the plan moving forward. 

“I’m afraid Elminster never told me anything about Moander nor this seed of rot.” Gale stroked his beard. “I can see about contacting him, and we can ask him directly.”

“Thank you, but no, I don’t think we have time to wait on him.” Tav let out a small laugh. “Let's just finish eating and get moving.”

Everyone agreed, finishing their food before starting the process of breaking down camp for the day's journey. Tav watched while Shadowheart cleaned her wounds, placing new dry bandages. Oliver had been correct; the injuries both of them had acquired had festered and produced a large amount of pus. 

Agreeing to a twice-a-day cleaning schedule, Halsin left to take down his tent while the others filled the wagon. After everything was packed, the fire was put out, and everyone was in place, they moved south, away from Evereska and away from the cursed Forgotten Forest, towards Yûlash. 

And whatever else waited for them out in the world.

Tag list:

Astarion returned from a nightly walk to find that Tav had gone. There hadn’t even been a note telling him where she had gone—at least not that he could find, and he had torn the tent apart looking for one. So, after spending several minutes going through everything, he made his way to where everyone was sitting by the campfire.

“Has anyone seen Tav?” Astarion looked around the campfire at the others, a hint of worry in his voice. 

Everyone had already taken their turn cleaning themselves, including Tav, but it seemed that she had snuck away. At least he hoped that she had snuck away. The other option was that she had been kidnapped for a second time, and he didn’t think that he could handle that again. 

Oliver looked at him with knowing eyes as he sat in Apple’s lap. The two had been inseparable since they met about an hour ago, and once Astarion had seen the look she had given him, Astarion knew that there was no chance the small fox was going anywhere she wouldn’t be. They were now best friends, and Gale had cemented that when once he gave her a potion of Speak with Animals. 

Apple’s eyes lit up. “Let me ask Oliver!” 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” 

Some of Astarion’s anxiety at not seeing Tav around the fire with the others disappeared a little. Oliver was Tav’s familiar, so they were connected. He knew when she was in trouble, and would go to her aid, so the fact that he was here and not with her now was a good sign that she was fine. They could speak mind to mind, which was an ability he envied in the creature. It would be something so useful in their lives, especially now that danger could occur at any moment.

The fire popped, and Astarion had to fight a flinch. It sounded too close to the sound of Tav’s shoulder dislocating. The sound He had produced by his own hands when he had been too weak to fight Talontyr’s hold on him. He had harmed Tav. He had broken her body. He had—

“Are you worried about her?” 

Shadowheart’s voice pulled him back to the conversation he had started.  He looked at her to see that she was rewrapping Halsin’s wound. 

“Of course I am!” Astarion creased his brows together. “The injury to her leg makes getting away in an effective matter kind of impossible at the moment. So I would like her close by someone until it’s healed sufficiently.” 

Another pop from the fire sent his thoughts back to Tav and her wounds. Where could she have gone? Was she avoiding him because of what he had done? What was taking Apple so long to relay Tav's location? Did she not want to see him?

“Yes, but with Oliver and her connected, he could just tell us if she was in trouble.” Shadowheart glared at Astarion. “And don’t snap at me, Astarion! I am just as worried about her. I’m just not treating her like she's helpless like you are.” 

“I am not treating her like she is helpless. I’m just worried about her after everything that has happened to her in the last twenty-four hours. Or have you already forgotten how we found her?”  What I did to her. He didn’t voice the last part, but he did nothing to hide his fear.

At that, Shadowheart remained silent, choosing to look away. Broken is how they had found Tav. Beaten and broken, and then Talontyr had used his body to break her some more. 

Pop. Another taunting crack from the fire that seemed to be hell-bent on torturing him. Reminding him of what he did.

She had assured him that she knew that it wasn’t his fault. If anything, she blamed herself for what had happened. Tav had told him that she thought that his being controlled would happen, but not to that degree. The fact that Talontyr could possess the undead had not even crossed her mind. She had only seen him control the undead. 

Hearing her say that she was sorry made him feel even worse. He had been the weak one for letting it happen in the first place. On the walk back to camp, Tav had told him everything that had happened. The assault, how she had almost been raped before being sacrificed to Moander. If she had found that candlestick a few seconds later, she would have been violated, and she would have been dead right now. 

Tav was the strong one in their relationship. He seemed to only cause her trouble. 

He hadn’t been able to see her slowly breaking down over the months back in Baldur’s Gate. His vampire genes made her anemic, and he wasn’t even strong enough to protect her. Now, she was avoiding him. 

“I’m sure she’s alright, Astarion.” 

Astarion looked to Gale, whose eyes held a level of understanding he wasn’t prepared for. His voice spoke in Astarion’s mind. “ Stop blaming yourself.” 

“I’m not.” 

“We both know that’s a lie.” Gale didn’t give away that they were speaking mind-to-mind but instead continued to work on the spell he was weaving. “ It’s as clear as day on your face, my friend.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

The logs in the fire cracked louder than they had since he joined his friends around the fire, and Astarion couldn’t hold back his flinch this time.

Gale’s eyes snapped back up to meet Astarion’s. “Sure, I don’t.” He smiled at Astarion while holding up the necklace he had been enchanting. “I do believe this will suit your needs perfectly!”

After telling Gale about the possession, he had been hard at work on an item that would protect Astarion if Talontyr returned and tried to take control once again. Dangling from his fingers was a piece of jagged black, smoky quartz set on a silver chain. It was a simple necklace with the crystal unpolished and only about an inch long. It hummed with magic. 

Astarion grabbed the item from Gale. “And you’re sure this will be enough?” 

“How dare you?” Gale mocked outrage. “Yes, I’m quite sure it works a lot like that ring you wear to protect you from the sun's harmful rays, but this piece of jewelry blocks the act of possession.”

Slipping the piece around his neck, Astarion felt the spell coat his body like an article of clothing before soaking into his skin. A shiver ran up his spine at the feeling of a second skin before quickly fading, as if it had never even been there. 

Some of Astarion’s anxiety melted away, knowing that there would never be another opportunity for him to lose control of his body and harm Tav again. 

Halsin grunted in pain at the new cloth being wrapped tight around his ribcage. “Hopefully, we won’t get the opportunity to test if it works any time soon.”

“With our luck, we probably will.” Astarion looked back to Apple, who was still speaking to Oliver. “Well? Where is your mother?” He couldn’t take the waiting any longer.

Apple pointed east, in the direction of the long grass. “He said she’s over there, washing her hair again. I thought she already washed up; why is she doing it again?”

All the adults looked at each other, sharing a knowing look.

“She just wants to make sure she gets all the mud out of her hair,” Shadowheart chimed in, saving Astarion from having to answer. “You know how beautiful her hair is.”

“Yeah! That makes sense.” Apple nodded.

“I’m going to help her.” Astarion started moving in the direction Apple had pointed in.

Halsin, Gale, and Shadowheart nodded while Apple grabbed a nearby book of potions. Oliver stayed on Apple’s lap, choosing to curl up into a ball and close his eyes. 

She had been covered in mud made by the bodies of thousands of corpses, her own blood, and her kidnapper’s. Despite using countless Create or Destroy Water scrolls in the forest, Astarion doubted Tav would feel clean for a while. And on the road, it was nearly impossible. 

He found Tav completely naked, surrounded by tall grass, leaning over a bucket of water, scrubbing her hair with such vigor he wouldn’t be surprised if she were bald by the end of her session. Her brown hair was hidden under a thick lather of shampoo. Tav was using only her left hand while the right hung loose at her side. 

A pang of guilt hit him at the sight. A loud pop followed by her ear-piercing scream played in his head. Those two sounds would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life.  

Her right hand joined in the scrubbing, and Tav winced before continuing. Shadowheart had informed them that, despite her being healed, there might still be some pain for the next few days and to be careful. 

Tav stopped her scrubbing and looked at Astarion, a large smile plastered on her face. “I was hoping no one would notice my absence.” 

“Of course I would notice. I don’t think I’m going not to be hyper-aware of where you are for a long while.” Astarion gave her a tight smile. “Is your arm still bothering you?” 

Tav flinched as she rolled her shoulders, “A little. I think I’ll feel better after I rest, but I wanted to clean up one more time.” Tav grimaced. “I can still smell them no matter how much I wash.” 

Astarion closed the distance between them slowly. He couldn’t get the feeling that she had left camp to get away from him out of his head. “Maybe you got some up your nose? May I?” 

“Of course.” Tav tilted her head back. “I wish we had a tub, or at least a river that wasn’t dried up, to wash in.” 

“We could always break into someone's house in Evereska and make that wish a reality, darling.” Astarion hesitated for a second before touching Tav and began massaging her scalp. 

She let out a satisfied sigh the second Astarion’s fingers started working through her hair. “No, I just want to move on from this place and get this adventure over with. I would kill for a hot bath, though.” 

Noticing a second bucket of water, Astarion cast Fire Bolt and threw the flame into the water multiple times until the water had heated to a decent temperature. “Tav?”

“Mmm.” Her eyes were closed, and he noticed that her body was relaxed. “What is it?”

He wanted to ask her why she had come out here to wash herself. Why she hadn’t asked him for help? But the words got stuck in his throat. Astarion was too scared of the answer. Scared that she would confirm all his fears. 

Slowly, the fear started to seep in—a small, nagging voice telling him that she was scared of him and didn’t want him to touch her. Astarion could feel his hands starting to shake as the spiral continued downwards. 

“You hurt her.”

“You broke her.” 

“Your hands are tainted with her blood.” 

On and on, the thoughts played in his mind, and Astarion let them because they were only telling the truth. Only listing his sins. He didn’t deserve to touch Tav after what he had done he—

“Astarion?” Tav reached up and placed her hand on his cheek, pulling him out of his downward spiral. “I just still feel so dirty, like it’s clinging to my hair and skin, but I didn’t want anyone to think something was wrong with me, so I decided to come out here while everyone was busy.” She let out a heavy sigh. “I was going to tell you, but I couldn’t find you. I left a note. Didn’t you find it stuck to the outside of the tent?”

“No.” Astarion wondered if the wind had blown Tav’s note away. He had been avoiding the fire, choosing to go for a walk to get some air rather than sit with everyone and endure the taunting pops that set his nerves ablaze. Making him relive the moment he hated most: play on repeat every time something sounded remotely similar to the sound of Tav’s shoulder popping free. 

Tav rubbed her thumb against his skin. “Me coming out here has nothing to do with what happened today. It has nothing to do with you.”Her eyes shined in the moonlight with unshed tears. “Plus, I didn’t want anyone else besides you to see me naked.” 

Astarion laughed. “No, we wouldn’t want that now, would we?”

“Everyone has already seen me naked in one form or another, but it’s not something that I want them to see now.” Tav pulled Astarion’s face down to hers and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Stop blaming yourself for what happened.” 

“You know I can’t.” Astarion felt his chest tighten. “I can’t stop hearing the sound in so many things around camp.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“Stop apologizing to me.”

“I will when you stop blaming yourself for something you didn’t do.”

They held each other’s stare for several beats before Astarion broke the silence. “He stripped away my free will so easily, and my weakness put you in danger.” 

“Astarion…” Tav’s expression fell. 

“It was as if everything that happened after Cazador meant nothing. Like no matter what I do, I’m the same pathetic, easily manipulated wretch I’ve always been. Like nothing’s changed.” 

Tav turned to face him. “Everything has changed.” 

“How can you say that after what you witnessed today!?” Astarion tore his eyes from hers. “He used me like a puppet and was about to break your body piece by piece, and I… I was too scared to fight back until I heard you scream.” The last part came out as a whisper. 

Her hand cupped his face once more and turned his eyes to hers, which now had tears flowing freely from them. “But you did fight back. You broke free, and that’s all that matters.”

She didn’t understand, and how could she? Astarion knew deep down that he was only good for one thing: being used to harm others. It had been silly of him to think that he could live a normal life. Every time he got close to someone, they wound up dead or worse. The thousands of spawns in Cazador’s dungeons, the people he had killed on his old master's orders. That’s all spawn were ever good for. He was no better than a marionette.

He was spiraling and he knew it. If he could drink away the pain, he would, but there wasn’t a beast other than Oliver around for miles, and he wouldn’t do the job. He would need something more Halsin-size—a bear or moose, something large that would numb the pain and make him forget every wrong thing he had ever done.

“Come back to me, Astarion.” Tav’s voice was soothing and warm. 

The phrase had been something Tav had used for years when he disassociated. When his mind wandered until it was a thousand realms away, she used it to call him back from the dark. Like a siren song, it called him back to her, and it had the same effect even now.

Astarion avoided Tav’s eyes. He didn’t want to see her tears. 

Tav grabbed Astarion’s hand and placed it on her bare stomach. “Come back to us.” 

The feeling of her warm skin on his cool palm drew his attention back to her—“us”—his son that she carried. Would his children still love him if they knew all that he had done? If they knew who he was truly?

“You are more than what he made you to be.” Tav’s words cut right to the heart of the matter. “You are a husband, a father, a shop owner, and a friend to Gale, Halsin, Karlach, Wyll, Jaheira, Shadowheart, and so many others!” She used her free hand to pull him back up to her eyes, which were overflowing with tears. “You are kind, smart, funny, and the love of my life.” Astarion felt his own eyes fill with tears at her words. “So don’t you dare tell me that you are pathetic ever again or that any of this was your fault when you know damn well how I feel about you.” She hiccuped, her emotions finally getting the better of her. “When you know that I would never for a second blame you for anything that happened today.”

Her words sank in and filled his heart with so much love he thought it was going to burst. Astarion knew that everything Tav had said was true—there had been too much raw emotion behind her words to fabricate them. He just couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt that had embedded itself in him. 

“Tav I… I don’t know what to say.” Astarion leaned into her hand. 

“Say you’ll stop blaming yourself, because I don’t.” Tav touched the necklace Gale had made. “Is this what Gale was working on?”

“Yes, it’s supposed to keep me from getting possessed again.”

“That’s great!”

“I hope we never have to test to see if it works.” 

“I second that.” Tav rubbed the remaining tears from her eyes. “Now say it.”

“Say what?” 

“You know what.” She glared at him. “You had nothing to do with what happened to me.” Tav put a finger up when he tried to protest. “Nothing.” She drew out the word for emphasis. 

Astarion rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. “I can’t just get over it, but I will try and work on it if you really mean what you said.” 

Tav softened her expression. “Of course I meant every word. I love you, Astarion, and would never blame you for something someone else did using your body.” She pulled him into a hug. “Just stop looking at me like I’m broken.” 

He hadn’t meant to, but Astarion knew that he had been since finding her in the Forgotten Forest. “I have not.” 

“Don’t lie to me.” Tav pulled away and looked him dead in the eye. “I am fully naked, and you haven't looked anywhere but my face and right shoulder since you found me out here.” 

It was Astarion’s turn to wince. “I’m sorry, darling. It’s just a little hard to look at you.” 

“Ouch, okay.” Tav frowned at his words. 

“You know what I mean!” 

“Of course I do.” Tav moved to crouch down, grabbed the bucket of warm water, and poured it over her head to rinse the remaining shampoo. “I did get a pretty good beating today. It’s hard to unsee that.” 

“It will just take some time before I can look at you the way I used to.” Astarion watched her back as she pulled some conditioner from her bag and added it to the ends of her hair. 

“You know, I’m trying not to take offense, but you’re making it really hard.” Tav grabbed another scroll, and a torrent of water cascaded down around her. 

Everything kept coming out wrong. The second the words left his lips, Astarion could hear how wrong they sounded, how they made it sound like Tav disgusted him now. But that was not the case. She still looked like the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. It was the image of her after he had come back that kept him at bay. 

“Tav…” Astarion waited until she turned around, towel in hand, scrunching the water from her hair. 

“You don’t have to say anything.” Tav wrapped the towel around her torso. “I know what you’re trying to say. I’m just teasing you.” 

“Let me anyways.” 

“Go right on ahead.” 

Astarion let out a nervous breath. “I still find you very attractive. Who wouldn’t? Just look at you.” He gestured to her whole body. “But I just need some time to get the image of what he did to you using my body out of my mind.”

“I know. Just remember to stop blaming yourself, please.” Tav closed the distance and placed a kiss on Astarion’s cheek. “I love you too much to see you detonate yourself like that.” 

Astarion pulled her into a tight embrace, and Tav wrapped her arms around him. Several moments passed, and for every second that did, he could feel doubt slip away and be replaced with reassurance, but in the back of his mind, that little voice still sat. Whispering uncertainties. 

His attention focused back on Tav, nuzzling into his neck, and took a deep inhale of his scent. Astarion did the same, breathing in her familiar scent that grounded him. 

“Let’s get back to camp,” Tav whispered into his ear. “I’m exhausted.” 

“Get dressed first. I don’t want you catching a cold.” 

“I’m wearing one of your shirts.” Tav pulled back and smiled at him. “I don’t feel like wearing pants since Shadowheart has to change the bandage on my leg anyway.”

Looking down, Astarion noticed the badges were soaked and falling apart. “Good call.”

Tav quickly put on a pair of panties and one of his shirts, and they made their way back to the camp, fingers intertwined. The fire cracked, and Astarion stilled, fighting the images that came to mind. Noticing his obvious discomfort, Tav placed a gentle kiss on his nose, pulling his attention back to her. She mouthed I’m fine before they moved on to the campfire. 

“Finally clean?” Shadowheart asked as Tav sat down next to her. 

“Yes, I scrubbed myself pretty raw.” Tav propped up her leg. “I need a new wrap, please.” 

Shadowheart let out a frustrated sigh. “You couldn’t have kept that dry?”

“Nope!” 

She glared at Tav until she finally relented and began unwrapping and cleaning the wound. Astarion stayed and let Tav lean against his body. With every crack from fire, he would tense, and Tav would soothe his nerves somehow, whether it was a touch of her hand, leaning her head against his chest,  or asking him some mundane question to pull his attention back to her. 

Gradually, he started to barely notice the cracks of the fire, and instead, Astarion was only focusing on Tav. Here. Now. Unbroken and whole.

Tag list:

Tav listened for footsteps behind the tree that she chose for cover. In the distance, she could hear Shadowheart and Halsin fighting the undead, and she felt horrible for just leaving them behind to fight the death knight alone. But she needed to catch him off guard if she had any hope of landing any spell that would eject him from Astarion. 

Possessions were not her specialty, and too late, she thought that this would have been better if Shadowheart had done it. However, the death knight was after her in particular, and Tav didn’t think she could fight off hordes of the undead and Astarion’s possessed body with her injuries. No, she needed to be strategic, take him unawares, and do her best to avoid fighting. Nevertheless, Tav did want to knock the bastard out of Astarion with a well-aimed punch to the face. She could do the same with one to the chest, and that wouldn’t harm him nearly as much once everything was finished. 

Despite her hatred for the death knight, Astarion was still in there. He had to be. The thought of him trapped in his own body, forced to watch while the knight did whatever he pleased, made her sick. After being under Cazador’s control for so long and only being granted fifty-six years of freedom before someone else wormed their way in, it was horrible. Tav was going to make sure to send the parasite somewhere he couldn't hurt Astarion ever again. 

“ What is the plan? Are we going to hide, and then when the monster comes near, I scratch out his eyes?” Oliver used their bond to speak, startling Tav.

Tav calmed her racing heart before she spoke to him in their minds. “No, I already told you we are not going to ‘scratch the monster's eyes out!’ You could get seriously hurt if something goes wrong, and Astarion is still in there, and I like his eyes non-scratched.” 

“Fine.” Oliver jumped from Tav’s shoulder to stand in front of her. “What are we going to do then?” 

“We are going try not to fight. I’m going to catch him off guard and use the same spell as before to knock the knight out of his body.” Tav let out a sigh. She didn’t know how she was going to catch him off guard other than jumping out, but she worried that it may not work. He knew that she was over here somewhere. 

After several heartbeats of looking around, Tav’s eyes locked back onto Oliver, who was waiting patiently for her orders. “I want you to go and make some noise in the opposite direction of where I am. Move, a bush, scratch a tree, anything to make it sound like we are anywhere but where I am currently, okay?” 

“Got it!” Oliver’s tail swung back and forth, his little butt wiggling with the movement. “If you need me to attack, just yell.”

“Yell what?”

He tilted his head to the side, thinking over the question. “ What about ‘meat’? Or bone?” 

“ How about your name?” Tav smiled at the small fox. 

“Oh, yeah! That’s probably better.”  

Oliver sprinted away from Tav around dried foliage until he was about twenty feet away from where Tav currently hid. He sat silently for a few moments before he jiggled a nearby bush the rustling cutting through the silence. It was loud against the muffled sounds of the fighting happening back where her friends were. 

Tav listened for the echo of Astarion’s footsteps. The dull crunch of boots on the ground made Tav’s heart pound as they continued to close the distance to where she hid. She peeked from where she crouched to see Astarion standing about ten feet from where she was, back turned, scanning the area where Oliver was hiding. It was odd seeing Astarion and knowing that it wasn’t him at all. 

“Your husband said we can share you.” The knight sounded sincere. “We had a lovely talk, and I realized I didn’t mean what I said before. I could never kill you. We need you.” His voice dropped low into a growl. “ I will break you, though. So it's harder for you to run away. ” 

A sick feeling settled in her stomach at the mention of Astarion. She knew what he was saying wasn’t true, but the fact that he was talking about him made her uneasy. Astarion would never agree to such a thing, but it made her wonder just what was happening to him inside his own mind. 

Tav wanted to vomit, but held it down. There was no time for that. She needed to focus on breaking Astarion free. Then she could be sick all she wanted. 

Oliver shook the bush again, and the sound made Tav jump. 

“You’re making so much noise, my little treasure.” His voice was calm, sensual, like a lover. “Are you nervous? Or excited for me to find you to give you the proper punishment for running away?” His voice came out in a song. “Come now, I’ve had a change of heart. I’m not going to hurt you… much. Just spank you a bit until you’ve learned your lesson.” 

The death knight started walking closer to Oliver. Briefly, Tav wondered why he wasn’t calling any more dead to his aid like he had before. 

Tav started moving in the direction of where the death knight was walking away. His attention stayed on his search ahead. Her right calf stung with every crouched movement, begging her to stop, but she persisted. She needed to keep going for Astarion. 

Purple light glowed around her hands, and the spell Protection from Good and Evil pulsed. Creeping forward, Tav got within swinging range. Tav’s fingers barely touched Astarion’s armor before she was face-to-face with a green-eyed Astarion, his lips pulling upwards into a smile. 

“There you are.” His voice was full of smug triumph. “We were just wondering where you had run off to.” 

Panic surged, quickly fading to anger as she stared into the death knight's cold green eyes. “Funny, I was also looking for you.” She quickly changed tactics, settling on a sweet approach to try and lull him in. “I’ve also had a change of heart. I’m so sorry I ran from you, darling. Let's start over with a hug.” Tav tried to mask her expression to a neutral one. Hiding the rage coursing through her. 

“Did you now?” The death knight cocked his head to the side. “I don’t think I believe you.” 

Tav lunged towards Astarion’s chest, trying to connect with him so the spell would take effect. The knight slapped her hand away like she was just an annoying insect. He reached for her, and at the last second, Tav moved to the right, dodging his attempt to grab her and causing the purple magic to sputter out. 

Fire shot up her leg at the sudden movement. Her right calf muscle was  recovering from Halsin’s removal of the rotten flesh from the harpy. Tav swallowed her cry of pain and turned her attention back on the foe in front of her, raising both her fists in preparation for his advances. 

“Are you trying to get rid of me, darling?” 

“Don’t call me that.” Tav shot daggers at him with her eyes. “Only he can call me that.” 

“But currently, I'm using his body, so it’s just like I'm him.” The knight winked. “Now, if you come here right now without making a fuss, I’ll only break one arm.” 

“Let me think about it. No.” Tav shot a Ray of Frost straight at the knight, blinding him. 

“You should have done what I asked.” The knight rubbed frost from his eyes. “Though I do like it when women fight; it makes the game more satisfying when they break.” He shot her a toothy smile. “I thought you were only with Astarion for his looks. I mean, just look at this face, this body.” He gestured to his current form. “Anyone would die to have him on top of them.” 

“You’re a pig.” Tav saw red at the mention of what someone would do to have a chance with Astarion. “I like him for more than his looks!” Ignoring the pain in her leg, Tav cocked her fist back, ready to connect with Astarion’s face. She hoped that with a well-placed hit, he would be stunned, and this fight would be over before the knight had time to do some real damage. 

“Say what you want about me but I know you’ve seen people looking at him—he’s hard to miss.” The knight's green eyes flared with heat. “You've probably seen the way others look at him: full of desire.” 

Their eyes locked, and under his gaze, Tav’s anger intensified, and then swayed into fear. She had seen the way others looked at Astarion. They would be out walking, and several people would almost break their necks to look at him. Some would even outright stop him to inquire about his availability. It never bothered Tav until this moment, when it was pointed out to her. 

Was she enough for him? Would he get bored of her and move on? Was she even pretty enough to be seen with him? The questions started spinning around in her head, pulling her down into a sea of doubt. She felt like she was drowning as she combed over everything about their relationship. 

A fist connected with her cheek, sending her sprawling to the ground face down in the dirt. Tav shook her head and brushed the questions out of her mind. Why had she suddenly felt so insecure and distracted? It couldn't have been hormones from her pregnancy; they had never made her jealous before, and the worst of them wouldn't be in full swing for at least a couple more weeks, when the baby was further along in his development. 

“Neat trick, huh?” The knight grabbed Tav by her hair and pulled her up off the ground. “No one has been stupid enough to look me directly in the eyes for years. I guess that's the perk of being in this body: people want to look you in the eye if you're a super sexy vampire.” 

“Let go of me!” Tav kicked violently, connecting with his shin. 

“Fuck!” The knight dropped Tav. 

Curling her hand into a fist, Tav threw a punch aimed at his face. The death knight caught it before throwing his own strike directly into Tav’s nose. Her eyes filled with tears, and she could smell blood. She tried to force the tears from her eyes so that she could react to his next move, but the just blurred her vision no matter how many times she blinked them away.

Tav cast Ray of Frost blindly in front of herself, trying to give herself some time to move away and recover. She could hear the spell hit its target as a grunt came from in front of her. Taking the opportunity to escape, Tav turned, and a cold hand clamped around Tav’s right wrist, stopping her. 

There was a jerking motion followed by the sound of movement before the hand holding her wrist twisted up until it was at the center of her back. The knight spoke into Tav’s ear. “You’re going to regret doing that. Now I think I’m going to break both your arms so you can’t hit me again, and if you try kicking  me, I’ll break your legs too.”

“Well, that doesn’t give me very many choices, now does it?” Tav threw back her head to collide with his face. There was a crunch, letting her know that she had probably broken his nose. 

“Ah! You bitch.” The knight gripped Tav’s wrist tighter. 

He slammed Tav hard against the closest tree, knocking the wind from her lungs. His hand gripped her left wrist while the other pulled her further up, twisting violently. There was a loud pop, and then her right arm went limp. Tav screamed before her vision went black for half a second. She willed herself to stay awake. 

He had dislocated her shoulder, judging by the intense pain that rolled off of the area in waves with every subtle move. 

Pressing his body against her back, Tav could feel his erection digging into her. A new wave of anger burned in her chest at the thought that this was getting this fucker hard. 

“I’m coming!” Oliver’s voice echoed inside Tav’s mind. 

“Run up his back and bite his neck!” Tav could hear how tired she was in her own mind. She had forgotten about him until now, but she was glad he had said something.

“On it!”

His neck was the only place where Astarion’s armor didn’t cover every part of his skin. If Oliver could sink his teeth into the back, where the knight would have a hard time reaching him, there was a chance that the small fox wouldn’t get hurt. Tav didn’t want the small creature to be harmed in any way. She had just saved him; she was not going to let him die. 

The knight speaking pulled Tav’s attention back to the matter at hand.

“You know he's watching me do this to you?” His breath was hot against her neck. “Well, listening to it, really. I have him locked inside my old coffin.  He's screaming for me to stop, begging me to let him go. Begging to be free.” Fangs touched the soft skin of Tav’s neck. “But we all know that’s not going to happen.” The knight licked her skin. 

“I’m going to send you back to whatever hellhole you came from!” Tav thrashed violently against his hold.  

He grabbed her on the right side of her head by the hair before sinking his fangs into Tav’s skin, and then the familiar feeling of ice in her veins radsiated down her neck. Energy left her body with every new wave of blood that filtered out of her. The normally sensual, private act she and Astarion shared felt wrong being done by someone other than him. 

The knight cried out in pain, and Tav knew that Oliver had hit his mark. In an instant, he was letting go of her, reaching behind him to grasp the kit that now clung to the nape of his neck. 

“You little shit!” The death knight staggered backward. “What is this?!” 

Tav turned, raised her left hand, and cast Protection from Good and Evil, praying that this time she would be able to land the hit to free Astarion. The knight got hold of Oliver’s tail, and she leapt forward. 

She crashed into him, grasping the hand that held onto Oliver, pulling his attention back to her. 

“Bye, motherfucker!” 

Tav activated the spell, and this time, the knight screamed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Astarion’s heart beat faster than it had in the last two hundred and fifty-six years. He pounded on the door of his tomb, trying everything he could to get the damned thing open—everything but begging to be released. He wouldn’t resort to groveling to achieve freedom. It rarely ever worked, and he had a feeling that Talontyr would only get some sick satisfaction out of it.

Taphophobia gripped him hard at the moment. Up until this point, he had made sure not to be buried or locked in a coffin. The last two times had been some of the worst experiences of his life, and they had been the only times it had happened. He didn’t need any more experience with the subject matter.

So Astraion now found himself taking deep breaths, trying not to panic. Trying to center himself so that he wouldn’t break. He couldn’t break, not when his body wasn’t his at the moment. Not as the chosen of Moander was using him as a walking, talking puppet to hurt Tav. 

The muffled screams that filtered through the thick stone made a mixture of rage and horror grip his whole body. He was hurting Tav, even if it was indirectly. His hands still delivered the blows, his fangs sunk into her flesh, and his body broke her. Talontyr gave him a play-by-play of everything that was happening, adding to the pit of terror growing in Astarion’s stomach. He didn’t think half of the things he said he was doing were true, but with no way to confirm, he was left in the dark literally and metaphorically. 

“Gods, your wife tastes so good, Astarion!” Talontyr shouted to be heard clearly. “Have you ever drank blood from anywhere else on her body?” His voice filled with mischief. “Maybe when she’s hungry with need and he clit is so swolle—”

Astarion cut him off. “No! And if you so much as try, I’l—”

“You’ll what?” Talonyr's voice was mocking. “You’re trapped in there until I decide to let you out in about a hundred years. I can do whatever I want with her once I break the rest of her.” 

Astarion used all his strength on the lid of the coffin to try and lift it, eliciting a laugh from Talonyr. After several seconds, he gave up, finding that no matter how much he pressed, the thing wouldn’t budge, likely due to some magic. It was then that Astarion thought about it. 

This was his body, his mind. Talontyr was just the parasitic invader, so he should have had less power here. He felt stupid for not thinking of it sooner. Panic had filled every pore within the four close walls of his prison, but Astarion tried to focus on getting out. Or rather that he would get out. This was not going to end up like the time Cazador locked him in a tomb for a year or when he had to punch a hole out of his burial coffin and dig through six feet of dirt to spring free. No, this was his own mind where he was in control just so long as he kept a level head and didn’t let anxiety or fear rule him. 

Focusing on the task he set, Astarion quieted his thoughts and pulled energy from his body, willing the Weave to come to him. He focused on what Gale had taught him back when they had first met and magic was still new to him. Gale had helped him learn how to call the Weave; he had done the same thing with Tav, but Astarion tried not to focus on that. 

 There was a tingling sensation, and Astarion opened his eyes to see static running up and down his entire body. Drawing on that energy, he pulled more and more until he felt full to bursting before pushing a Lightning Bolt straight up into the lid. 

The stone slammed into the ceiling, smashing into a thousand pieces and falling to the ground like hail. Talontyr jumped back in shock, but didn’t move far enough away before Astarion grasped him by his collar. 

“Fuck! How did you—” 

Talontyr's shout was cut off by Astarion pulling him towards the open sarcophagus. In one fluid motion, Astarion’s other hand was cupping the back of Talontyr's head, forcing it down to smash into the stone. Blinding purple light filled the space, making Astarion close his eyes to avoid damaging them. 

“This isn’t over!” 

Talontyr screamed, but Astarion kept his eyes shut as the light still burned bright. 

“You can’t kill me! I am eternal! You cannot cut away the rot!”

Astarion slammed Talonyr’s face into the stone again. “Just shut up and leave!”

The light intensified with the strike until, even with his eyes closed, Astarion could see it clearly, making him turn his head to further escape its power. Talontyr’s screams of rage filled the space, and then suddenly, nothing. 

Opening his eyes, Astarion saw Talontyr was gone, and so was the stone casket. Looking around, he searched for a door only to find that one had appeared on the far side of the room. Crossing the space, Astarion gripped the door handle and pushed. Warm rays of sun touched his skin, and a familiar scent filled his nose. 

Summer berries and vanilla and her sweet voice called for him to come back to her. 

“Tav, I’m coming.” Astarion ran. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” 

Tav slapped the side of Astarion’s face, trying desperately to wake him up. The spell had worked, but she feared that when the knight was expelled, it took Astraion with him. When he didn’t wake right after the light had disappeared, Tav pressed her ear to his chest and could still hear the slow, steady beat, but there was no reaction to her touch or voice. 

“Please don’t do this to me! If you’re messing with me, Astarion, I will never forgive you!” Tav felt the sting of tears behind her eyes. “Please come back to me!” 

Oliver came over and slapped him with his paw. “ Do you want me to bite him? That seemed to get a good reaction last time.” 

“Yes! Please anything at this point is welcomed.” Tav leaned over and pressed her forehead to Astarion’s chest. 

Her right shoulder was still out of place, and it screamed in protest every time she moved. Even if it was just a subtle shift in her position, pain would shoot through her. She could feel her shoulder swelling, pressing against her armor, making the discomfort grow. There was no way she could get her armor off with one hand. She would need help, but she wasn’t about to leave Astarion here. 

“ Okay, I’m going to bite his nose.” 

Lifting her head from his chest, Tav looked at Astarion’s face, which was covered with his and her blood. His dripped from his nose while hers cascaded down his chin. The death knight hadn’t been exactly gentle when he drank from her, and it seemed that he was a messy eater. 

Oliver readied himself, putting one paw on Astarion’s forehead and the other on his chin. Opening his mouth, small sharp teeth glistened red and wet just before he clamped down on Astarion’s nose. 

It only took a heartbeat before Astarion’s eyes opened and he sat up, sending Oliver into his lap. 

“Ow, that hurt you little—” Astarion stopped mid-sentence, his eyes finding Tav’s. He lifted a hand to cup her face, and she leaned into the touch. “What did I do to you?” 

The fact that he was blaming himself made the tears Tav was holding back fall. “You didn’t do anything to me. Don’t you dare blame yourself!” 

Tav rubbed away the falling tears, and when she opened her eyes again, Astarion was staring at her limp arm. 

“Is it…” He trailed off, and the of guilt in his eyes broke her heart. 

“Broken? No, it’s just dislocated.” Tav smiled gently. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine. I just have a broken nose, I think.” 

“That’s not what I’m asking.” Tav placed a hand over his heart. “Are you okay?” 

A dozen expressions flittered across Astarion’s face before settling on a small, timid smile. “I’m alright.”

The sound of fast-approaching footsteps pulled their attention to who was coming up behind them. Tav prepared herself ready for another fight, but quickly relaxed when Halsin and Shadowheart appeared. 

They were beaten and bruised, with Halsin holding his side as he ran, wincing in pain when he finally came to a stop. Tav could smell decaying flesh and knew right away that the manticore tail had gotten him and that it was rotting his flesh just like the harpy’s claws rotted hers. 

“Looks like we will be cutting you up next?” Tav gestured towards the wound. 

“It seems to be the case.” Halsin smiled grimly. “Though I’m not sure you'll get your revenge with your arm looking like that.” 

“No.” Tav gave him the same smile. “Speaking of which, we need to get this armor off before I lose circulation in my arm and then we have to amputate the whole thing.” 

“Hells!” Astarion quickly started unfastening the clasps that held Tav’s armor in place. “Why didn’t you say something sooner? The state of my mental well-being could have waited.” 

“So I’m guessing he no longer has someone else inside his head?” Shadowheart looked between Tav and Astarion. 

“Not at the moment. I took care of that.” Tav raised her left hand to her neck and healed the vampire bite.

A gasp of pain left Tav’s lips when the last clasp popped free, and her armor hit the ground. Her shoulder radiated heat and had swollen to double its usual size. Shadowheart quickly got to work pulling strips of cloth from her bag, wetting them, and placing the cool fabric on Tav’s skin. It alleviated some of the pain still pulsed through the area. 

Shadowheart handed the remaining wet cloths to Tav to hold in her left hand. “Frost those for me. We will have to reduce the swelling before I can pop this back into place.” 

“Thank you.” Tav did what she was told, watching while Shadowheart moved her attention to Astarion and his nose. 

An hour passed before all was said and done. Halsin’s dead flesh was cut away and burned. Astarion went to check the death knight’s husk for any more clues, coming back with a medallion that he said Talontyr was wearing in his mind, so it had to be important to something. Oliver went with Astarion just in case Talontyr had returned to his old body. That way, he could tell Tav, who would then tell the others who could fight, and they would deal with the situation, but luckily. He was just a shell. 

The emblem pulsated with power as Astarion plucked it from Talontyr death knight’s husk. It made him feel uneasy, so he quickly placed it in his bag and started making his way back to the group. 

When he returned, he found Tav, who, while she waited, stood under the effect of many Create or Destroy Water scrolls to wash the majority of the filth from her body. The cold water helped with her inflamed shoulder, and between the ice and water, the swelling had gone down enough for her next form of torture. 

 Shadowheart looked Tav in the eye. “This is going to hurt far worse than when it came out, but only for a second, alright?”

“I know. Just get it over with so we can—”

Blinding pain followed by a dull throb cut Tav’s words off. 

“It’s better to do it when the person doesn’t expect it.” Shadowheart gave Tav a cocky smile. 

“Oh, you’re an asshole,” Tav grunted in pain. “But thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

Shadowheart healed the rest of Tav’s wounds, leaving the one on her right calf. That one, along with Halsin’s, would need to be disinfected and cleaned daily to avoid any loss of skin. 

It took two hours longer than it had taken then to get to where they faught Talontyr to return to the edge of the forest, where Gale and Apple were waiting. Tav used Astarion as a crutch the entire time, and they stopped to rest frequently. By the time they made it back to camp, it was well into the night, and everyone was tired. 

Apple smacked Gale on the arm, her face beaming with excitement at the sight of everyone. “Mommy!” 

Tav could tell that she had been crying by the sight of her swollen eyes and the slight rasp in her voice when she had called to her. Apple came barreling into Tav at full force, almost knocking her to the ground, but Astarion held her up. 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry,” Apple cried into Tav’s cotton shirt, soaking the fabric. “It’s my fault they took you.” 

With some help, Tav knelt down so that she was eye-to-eye with her daughter. Apple rubbed fat tears from her eyes, and Tav cupped her face with her left hand, getting her attention. 

“Yes, it is your fault.” Everyone choked at Tav’s words. They hadn’t expected her to be so brutally honest with the six-year-old. 

“That’s a little harsh, don’t you think, darling?” Astarion put a hand on her shoulder. 

“No, I don’t.” Tav took a long, deep breath. “We can’t afford another slip-up. Too much is on the line.”

She knew that Astarion felt the same way she did. They had talked about it during the walk it took to get back. Apple had run off, and she needed to understand that she had messed up.  They had entertained her fear of blood for far too long. It was time to get her over it. Tav had almost lost her life twice because of it. It was time to solve the issue

“I promise I won’t run off again.” Apple looked between Tav and Astarion. 

“We know you won’t.” Astarion gave her a reassuring smile. “We talked all about it on our very long walk back here.” 

“Yup! And you know what?” Tav smiled at Apple. 

“What?” Apple hiccuped. 

“Everyone makes mistakes, and we learn from them.” Tav kissed Apple on the forehead. “So we are going to do just that. Learn from this.” Her voice turned from comforting parent to leader. “Now, in addition to your training with Gale, I will be training you not to fear blood. Do I make myself clear?” 

Apple nodded her agreement. 

“Good. Now I’m going to eat something, drink some blood, and go to bed.” Tav stood and grasped Apple’s hand. “I love you, sweetpea.” 

“I love you too, Mommy.”

Tag list:

Astarion’s eyes changed from red to green, and Tav knew that her theory was no longer that a theory no longer. The death knight was now nestled inside Astarion, using him like a puppet. Bile made its way up her throat and threatened to make the small meal she just had come back up when there was a flash of red swimming through the green that took over Astarion’s eyes. She clung onto that hope that he was still in there somewhere, just trapped in his own body.

             From what Tav saw, Astarion hadn’t died. There was no death blow; Hells Astarion hadn't even been harmed the whole fight. His body had just been taken over. So, there was a chance that the right spell would kick the death knight out and give Astarion back his body if Tav could touch his body and cast fast enough. 

‘Astarion’ let out a long sigh before rolling his shoulders. “I haven’t felt this good in ages.” There were several cracking sounds along his spine and neck. “And this body.” He looked over himself with satisfaction. “This voice you have no idea what it's like to go so long without being able to talk.” His eyes skimmed over Tav. “To be locked in a dusty tomb for two hundred years with no one to talk to, to hold.” 

Goosebumps broke out over Tav’s skin. It sounded like Astarion, but something in the inflection of his voice was wrong. There was no lilt to his voice nor snarky undertone. To Tav’s ears, it sounded like someone doing an impression: close to the real thing, but in a warped way. 

The idea that Astarion was trapped in his own body made Tav see red. How dare this impostor take over, stealing away Astarion’s autonomy and making him a puppet for his own use. And for him to look at her with so much hunger in his eyes was disgusting. Tav was going to rip that rotten knight out of Astarion. Make him pay for every second he was inside the man she loved. 

 Tav lunged, trying to catch the impostor unawares, only to have him grab her wrist. “Ah, ah, ah. Our mutual friend wouldn’t want us ruining his pretty face, now would he?” 

Repulsion coursed through Tav at the mention of ‘our mutual friend.’ “I think he would forgive me, especially after I pulled your wormy ass out of him.” 

“Oh, come now. It’s clear to see that the only reason you fell for him was his charming good looks, not his brain.” The death knight squeezed Tav’s wrist tighter. “So I’m sure we could come to the same arrangement that you had with him now?” 

“We didn’t have an arrangement other than we love each other and want to be together,” Tav hissed through gritted teeth. “And let me just inform you that whatever you have to say will be a no.” She needed to keep him talking while she looked for an opportunity to attack. 

“That’s not fair, Tav, was it?” Astarion flashed a flirtatious smile. “I’m not so different from your husband. We are both undead immortal beings who have a penchant for violence.” 

“It’s still a no, but if you could bring back my husband, that would be lovely. Thank you.” Tav noticed a swirl of red in the deep pools of green for a second and knew Astarion was fighting to break free from wherever he was shackled inside his own body. “Besides, he has a child on the way, and I would like some help with diaper changes.” 

“Why don’t you terminate the child you already have growing in that belly of yours and let myself or my lord put our own in its place?” The death knight put Astarion’s fangs on full display, and Tav felt sick hearing his words. When she didn’t say anything, he went on, unbothered by her silence. “Did I leave you speechless? Sounds far better than just having a common vampire spawn’s child, does it not? We hold so much power.” He snorted and cocked his head to the side, closing his eyes while he did so. “I could see if he was a full vampire, but this pathetic”

Tav pulled her fist back and drove all her power behind the punch, knocking Astarion back and freeing her wrist from his grasp. “I think I liked it better when your mouth was sewn shut.” Pale purple light glowed between Tav’s fingers. “Astarion, if you can hear me, continue fighting back!” 

She launched herself forward, hand outstretched. Tav had cast Protection from Evil and Good, hoping that it would be enough to expel the death knight that possessed him. It was all she had at the moment, so it would have to do because if it didn’t, she wouldn’t know what else to do other than tie him up. 

Astarion recovered fast and swung his arm, connecting with Tav to send her slamming into a tree ten feet away. The force of the collision rattled every bone in her body and made spots appear in her vision. Tav fell to her knees, and it took several hard blinks before her vision cleared. 

Oliver ran to her side, a low growl reverberating from his tiny body. “Do you need me to scratch out his eyes?” 

“No, he would tear you apart with his bare hands.” Tav watched Astarion take his first slow step towards her, a playful smile on his lips. “We need to take him by surprise.” 

Keeping her eye on the monster in front of her that held her husband captive in his own body, Tav started formulating a plan. With the injury to her right leg, she couldn’t run, and she didn’t want to cause too much damage to Astarion’s body. She couldn’t stomach the thought of slicing through his skin, so it would have to be a dangerous game of hide and seek.

“Hop onto my shoulder.” 

Oliver did what he was told, climbing up Tav’s frame to rest on her shoulder, waiting for her next command. Looking left, a laugh came from Astarion, making her bring her gaze back to him. Tav didn’t care if green was Astarion’s true eye color before he became a vampire; she much preferred his red eyes. 

“Do you really think you can run from me?” Astarion mocked. “I am the chosen of Moander, champion of all that is putrid and rotten in this world.” He pulled one of the daggers from his belt. “I will have you, my dear, whether you like it or not. No bitch lays a hand on me and lives to tell the tale.” 

“As tempting as that offer is, I will still have to decline. Unfortunately for you, I only like sleeping with my husband, and though you are currently wearing his skin, you are not him.” Tav readied herself for the jump into another space she was about to do. “Besides, you haven’t had sex in, what, two hundred years?” Pulling her lips downward, she gave him a pitting look. “I’m afraid you wouldn’t know what to do once you caught me anyway. You might just blow your load too soon.” 

His green eyes burned, turning a brighter shade of green. “You little shit.” 

Tav landed thirty feet using Misty Step to get a head start before casting Pass Without Trace and limping her way further into the forest. She did not spare a glance behind her to see just how close Astarion was, only focusing on finding a place to hide. When she thought she was far enough away, Tav ducked behind a tree and listened for footsteps. The fight was going to be one of the hardest things she ever would have to do in her life. 

Fight Astarion without harming his body. Too much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunlight pooled on Astarion’s face, causing a moan of frustration to escape. He was too comfortable to wake up now. Soft sheets and pillows surrounded him along with a warm blanket that smelled like Tav. Vanilla and summer berries. The scent reminded him of long summer days in the sun his favorite when he was with her. 

He smiled lazily at a memory of one of their adventures before Apple came into their lives. They had stumbled upon a briar full of blackberries, and Tav had insisted they stop to pick some. She had spent hours snacking on the fruit until her lips and inside of her mouth had turned purple. Gods had her kisses tasted so sweet after. Astarion wanted to relive the experience all over again, but it was winter, and berries only grew in the heat of summer.

Astarion rubbed at his eyes to try and brush away the remaining sleep from them. The dream had messed with his sense of time. It had felt so real, like several weeks had gone by, but that couldn't be. It was still Nightal. He thought maybe he was going stir-crazy. Maybe all the stress of trying to conceive a child had finally taken its toll. 

How much of the dream had really happened? Was any of it real? Did Tav break down in their bathroom last night, or was that part of the dream? Astarion removed his left hand from his eye and reached over to find the spot next to him where Tav usually rested empty. He opened his eyes to find it looked undisturbed—almost as if no one had slept there, which was unusual. Tav never made her side of the bed until after he made breakfast. 

The smell of bacon wafted into the room, making Astarion sit up in bed. Why hadn't Tav woken him up? Normally, they liked to cook together, especially in the mornings, since it was the only chance they got to spend some quality time together before the chaos of the day came at them in full force. Before appointments and other obligations made it impossible. Maybe the confession in the bathroom did happen, and he had been so drunk that Tav physically couldn't wake him up. But then again, that couldn't be the case because he had gotten drunk off of Tav’s blood. She had been worse off than he had been simply because she had been drinking and he had been feeding on her.

Something wasn't adding up. 

A pain ripped through his skull, stealing his attention away from his thoughts. Astarion drew back the covers and stood before making his way to the bathroom. At the sink, he dipped his hands into the cold basin of water, cupping his hands to fill them before throwing the liquid in his face. The coolness helped constrict the blood vessels in his head, allowing the headache to subside.

Feeling satisfied with the pain now gone, he turned to leave before stopping in his tracks when something caught his eye or rather, when he caught his eyes. He could see himself in the mirror with perfect clarity. Not even in his dreams had he been able to do so. Pain split his skull in half again as the last moments before everything had gone black came back to him. The smell of burning flesh, the dead rising and attacking, the knight grabbing him by the throat and forcing his way into Astarion’s body. 

“It wasn't a dream.” Astarion stared at his reflection, in awe of his own face. “Where am I?”

“Astarion!” Tav called for him in a sing-song voice. 

Turning, Astarion found Tav in the doorway, dressed in nothing but her bra and panties. Her hair was perfectly curled and styled. She had a flirtatious smile on her lips that said, ‘We are not leaving this room any time soon.’ 

“You look well put together for someone who spent the whole night drinking.” Astarion looked for any hint that something was out of place. 

“I guess I can hold my liquor better than you.” Tav’s expression faltered for a second before the careful, seductive mask slipped back into place. She looked too perfect for the night they had. 

She crossed the distance between them and placed her hands on his chest. Astarion fought the shiver running up his spine. Everything about this Tav felt off, but Astarion couldn't place just what exactly. An uneasy feeling churned low in his stomach. He had a feeling that this was the death knight playing the part of Tav to keep him from realizing what had happened. Setting up this whole scenario to have him think everything was a bad dream. But the knight had made the mistake of letting Astarion see himself in the mirror. A slip on his part, to be sure. 

“See something you like?” Tav placed her hands on his chest and looked up at him through her lashes. 

“You know I could never grow tired of looking at you and your perfect body.” Astarion caressed Tav’s waist and pulled her close. He wanted to catch the knight off guard. “Perfection.” 

“Astarion” Tav gasped at Astarion’s sudden contact. 

“Tell me.” Astarion kissed the impostor's neck again, playing into his role of clueless puppet. “Where is our child?” 

“She’s at school.” Tav’s whole body shivered. “Why else would I be walking around the house like this?” 

“I thought you would be exhausted after everything that happened last night. All the crying, meeting that goddess, the sex,” Astarion purred, playing into the lie and waiting for the perfect time to strike.

“It was a lot, but nothing I couldn't handle.” Tav leaned her lower half into him. “I had you after all to get me through it.” 

It sounded like something Tav would say, but so many things were wrong. The date they had drank and Tav had met Angharradh was on the first day of Apple's two-day weekend from school, not the second, so Apple wouldn't have gone to school. It seemed the knight did not have access to his full memories. 

Astarion fought back bile at the thought that his body was not his own once again. After all those years of freedom, it was easy to slip back into someone else’s control. The thought of Tav watching it all happen before her eyes made him want to scream. What was he doing with his body now? Was he hurting her? He needed to eject this parasite from his body before something bad happened. 

Thankfully, it looked as if the death knight couldn't glean very much information from his mind. That, at least, was still his own. Astarion wanted to know just how much this intruder could see. Maybe if he distracted the part that was here with him, it would help give Tav some leeway to figure out a way to free him. Swallowing the feeling of being sick down, Astarion readied himself to play the role he had to play. 

“Hmm, if you say so.”  Astarion kept all thoughts of that night from his head and instead planted seeds of misinformation. 

“I know so,” Tav smiled. “After all, Sarah had also been quite a handful, so we needed to drink and have a little fun.” 

So it was all surface-level thoughts. Astarion had thought of wanting to go home back to Baldur’s Gate right before everything had gone dark. 

Astarion moved his hand until he was just shy of her nipple. “And what did we drink last night? My head is still a little fuzzy.” 

“You don't remember? We waited until she had gone to bed, then got into the white wine we like so much.” Tav squirmed under Astarion’s touch. “Maybe you did have too much to drink.” 

“Maybe,” Astarion placed his thumb and forefinger around Tav’s nipple. “But I thought we drank red wine.”

“Oh Right, my mistake,” Tav stuttered. “Maybe I had too much to drink last night I can't even remember what we drank.” 

As entertaining as it was watching this pretender try and fail to convince Astarion that they were, in fact, the genuine article, it was time to end this. Astarion liked playing with his food, but the sooner he was free, the better. Plus, they needed information about what and whom they were dealing with. And what better way to do so than asking directly? 

“Of course You were quite drunk, so I can understand where you got turned around.”  Astarion pinched hard, causing her to cry out before he twisted. “Though I’m sure a parasite like yourself wouldn't know the difference to begin with.” 

“Astarion, stop. You're hurting me.”

Astarion clicked his tongue. “You almost sound convincing.” He moved his head back to stare into her eyes. “Too bad I'm not falling for it.” 

The silence drew out over several heartbeats before a scoff came from Tav. “What gave it away?” 

“Everything, really.” Astarion smirked before he shoved Tav off of him. “I do owe you a small bit of thanks for showing me what I look like in the mirror. I always knew I was handsome, but that confirmed it.” 

“Well, I figured you deserved something for letting me stay here.” Tav righted herself before snapping her fingers. 

The whole scene melted before Astarion’s eyes, including Tav. What was once the vision of his home back in Baldur’s Gate turned into a tavern. Tav turned into a tiefling man with shaggy black hair, red-toned skin, and horns that reached straight up into the air a good two feet. His eyes burned like green hellfire. From the way he sat, legs crossed, fingers laced behind his head, Astarion could tell he was tall, but also that he was thin. Whoever this man before him was, he looked nothing like the hulking knight that had grabbed him.

He was a druid, based on the clothing he wore. Vines and leaves made up the bulk of what he was wearing, but where the crest of Silvanus usually sat for most druids was a different symbol: a hand with a snarling mouth in the center, teeth all as sharp as razors. Astarion guessed that it must be the totem of Moander, the god to whom the death knight had whispered promises about power before he had invaded his body. 

“And who is this? Your first victim?” Astarion gestured toward the mystery man. 

“In a way.” The thin man smiled. “I was the first to accept Moander's offer of immortality. Talontyr was my name originally. However, no one called me that after years of service to ‘old moldy’ turned me into a walking corpse.” He emphasized the nickname of his god with venom.

“No love lost between the reason for your power, I see.” Astarion raised his brows in question. “What, you’re not happy with the power he gave you?”

“Let's just say he didn’t necessarily tell me what would happen if I accepted.” Talontyr gave a false smile. “I was once the goddess Talona’s consort, you know, but I’m sure no one talks about that either.” 

“No one talks about you or your moldy old god, really.” Astarion crossed his legs and leaned back in his chair. 

Talona would not have been Astarion’s first choice if a god or goddess had approached him and asked to bed him. The Lady of Poison, Diseases, and Plagues was often depicted as a withered old crone with matted, unruly hair that was often depicted looking much like a briar patch and long boney fingers, and she wore several charms that were said to give to anyone who touched her awful ailments. 

“You really know how to pick them, don’t you?” Astarion grimaced. “My friend was the consort of Mystra, and though she's not great to look at, she certainly beats a pile of mold or an old woman.” 

“You bite your tongue, elf.” Talontyr slammed his fist down on the table between them. “She has other forms.” 

“My deepest apologies,” Astarion spoke in a mocking tone. “What made you choose Moander over Talona’s unseen beauty?” 

Talontyr let the obvious sarcasm slide while his attention focused elsewhere. Astarion took advantage of the lapse in attention to get up and open the door to the tavern, which he thought led outside. He wanted to find a way to break free before Talontyr used his body to cause Tav or the others harm. 

The door opened to nothing but black. Investigating to see if he would be able to create anything or walk into the dark, Astarion tested the space with his foot only to find that both were impossible. 

“The only way out is if I let you go, and that won’t happen.” 

Astarion turned to find Talontyr had his attention back on him. “What if I beat you to death in here?” 

“Haha!” Talontyr laughed, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “I needed that, thank you. Unfortunately for you, your body belongs to me now. But don’t worry, I will put it to great use.” He stood, placing his hands in his pockets. “Your wife is quite the little firecracker, isn’t she?” 

“If you so much as touch her…” Astarion closed the distance between him and Talontyr, grabbing him by his shirt. 

“You’ll what?” Talontyr leaned in, almost touching Astarion with his nose. “Beat me up? Kill me? I can’t die. I have waited in a dusty tomb for over two hundred years until someone broke the seal, and now that I’m free, there is only one more seal that needs to be broken until my lord Moander is free from his prison.” He tapped the emblem on his chest. “I just need to retrieve the other and then this world will be consumed.” His eyes burned bright. “Do your worst, Astarion, because once I get a hold of your little wife, I’m going to make you watch while I terminate your seed that lies in her belly and plant my own in her womb for our foul god!”

Astarion slammed his fist into Talontyr’s face, and he let out a wet laugh. Again and again, he connected until his knuckles split and blood ran like rivers from Talontyr’s mouth and nose. Blind fury clouded his vision until all he saw was red. He would rip his own mind to shreds to protect Tav and his unborn child. Astarion didn’t have his blades, but he would use his fingernails, and teeth if he had to.

“Are you done?” Talontyr asked, a smug smile on his face. 

“No.” Astarion bared his fangs.

“That’s a shame because I am.” 

Vines wrapped around Astarion’s legs before they pulled them out from under him, hanging him upside down and off the ground. He tried lighting the vines on fire before they overtook his whole body, wrapping him in a cocoon. The more he struggled against them, the more they constricted his frame.

The tavern dissolved, turning into a tomb with dripping black walls oozing some liquid that smelled of mold. He reached towards his legs and started ripping at the restraints, but whenever he would tear one loose, another would take its place. 

There was a heavy sound, like a boulder being dropped, that tore Astarion’s attention away from the task at hand, and in a second, all the moisture in his mouth vanished. A large stone sarcophagus stood behind him and slowly opened. Fear seized him as the vines started to move him closer to the object that would lock him in like a vault. Flashes of his year spent in a dusty tomb long ago flashed in his mind, and he struggled desperately against his bonds, ripping once more at the vines. 

“What’s wrong, Astarion? I thought vampires loved sleeping in coffins.” Talontyr laughed. “I slept in one just like this for two hundred years! I think half that time is what I’ll give you for striking me.” 

Panicked, Astarion reached for his spells, thinking that maybe burning the vines would do more damage, but nothing came. Talontyr had taken complete control, and the feeling of submission made his skin crawl. He felt helpless, something that he swore never to feel again, but here he was, trapped within his own mind. Forced to do things against his will. 

“No! Let me go, damn you!” Astarion screamed, mind racing for something, anything that would help him, but he came up short. 

The sarcophagus was underneath him now, and the inside looked like a void, dark and all-consuming. A portal opened in front of his eyes, and Astarion could see the Forgotten Forest, Tav sprinting away before disappearing behind some cover. He looked on in horror, knowing that Talontyr was about to make good on his threat to make Astarion watch as he hurt Tav.

“Relax, Astarion.” Talontyr walked up beside the coffin and smiled at Astarion. “I’ll take good care of her for you.” 

Slowly, he descended, snapping his eyes away from the portal to watch as he was lowered into the waiting mouth of darkness. 

“No! Just take me! Do anything you want with me. Just leave her alone!” Astarion begged. 

“Oh, it’s too late for that, I’m afraid.” Talontyr leaned against the cold stone, coming face to face with Astarion. “I’ll be needing to return to Yûlash with something for our lord, and your wife seems like a fitting prize. Plus, I like a woman who fights.” A cruel smile made his lips turn up. “Moander told me I can do whatever I wish to her to taint her for his arrival.” 

Astarion snarled, moving to strangle Talontyr, but vines grasped his wrists. 

Talontyr sneered down, and the last thing Astarion saw before he touched the bottom of the sarcophagus was glowing green eyes as the lid slid into place, and he was consumed by darkness.

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