Carmen Sandiego Money Headcanons
I said I'd do a longer post! ;)
(thanks and kudos to @mmaricarmen23 @bisexually-finger-guns @backofthepencil11 for spurring this)
-- Growing up, Carmen really only knew about money in a vague, conceptual sense: money was a thing that VILE needed in order to function and was an indicator of how valuable something was (with 'something' being the 'imports' that were brought to the Island). That's it. Once a year it needed to be...whatever Cookie Booker did, but other than that you didn't need to think about it. Pretty easy low-maintenance stuff.
-- She got a bit of a wake-up call when she left the Island and hadn't yet started lining her pockets with VILE's ill-begotten funds: apart from a roll of bills in the pocket of Cookie's coat and some of his own savings account money that Player quietly wired to her (don't tell his parents), she was flat broke. It was here that Player first grasped just how...few life skills his bestie possessed.
-- Carmen: Player, guess what? I saw this place off the highway that teaches you to ride a motorcycle and-
Player: Red. Please tell me you didn't...
Carmen: ...Why wouldn't I?
Player: How much did this cost?
Carmen: I dunno, a hundred?
Player: RED!!! THAT'S LIKE YOUR MOTEL ROOMS FOR THE WEEK!
Carmen: But! I can ride a motorcycle now. π
-- He is now bestie/hacker/money manager
-- Once they joined her, Zach and Ivy had a hard time wrapping their heads around (a) how much money their new friend had (b) how freely she spent it, and (c) how willing their new- boss? friend? something?- is to spend it on them.
Zach: Whoa! You wanna eat here? Isn't it kinda...expensive? (it's literally an Olive Garden)
Carmen: No worries; tab's on me. π
Zach: ....Ives, we died and went to Heaven. π
Carmen: ...We're in Ohio?
-- It was...hard to get used to. Especially for Ivy; she'd been the one to manage the money when her and Zach were on their own (he would have spent it all at McDonald's, something he has freely admitted) and is well aware of how much things costs and what smart spending looks like. Seeing someone basically burning through a bank account (never mind it seems to be bottomless?) is...well.
Ivy: Boss, you can't buy these! $400 is way too much for sunglasses!
-- And she just...doesn't feel completely comfortable with sponging off someone they just met, even if she is really nice and offering to pay for room service and hotel room movie rentals and anything else they could ever need or want. That's not the world she came from; in her experience, everyone has an angle they're playing, and money is how they keep you beholden to them. Plus this whole vigilante thing? Yeah, it had to be a one-and-done for this...she wants to say 'heiress?' She made that mistake with Eddie, and she's not making it again.
-- Zach is more comfortable with the spending sprees. He's a little uneasy at first (he, too, knows the value of a dollar), but quickly and easily adapts to a life where he doesn't have to feel shy about asking for seconds.
-- Update: Carmen really doesn't have an angle; they really are doing this vigilante thing, she really is footing the bill, and she really expects nothing in return. She also, Ivy quickly realizes, has no idea how money works beyond buying things. Good thing she has practice explaining this stuff to Zach
Ivy: The drugstore sells pairs for less than $12 that work just as well. Just go there to-
Carmen, already wearing the sunglasses: Still getting these
Ivy: At one point, my entire wardrobe cost less than that. Think about that for a minute.
-- This is not going to be easy.
-- Shadowsan feels some guilt for not teaching Carmen about money management better, and for being the reason she spends like it's her last day on earth (which it could be with VILE hunting them but we're doing that today), but he doesn't take much action beyond occasionally remarking on something being too expensive. It's not like he was responsible with money when he was her age. Or ever.
-- No one pursues money management 101 in earnest, though. Ivy and Zach and Shadowsan and Player...they all know how unfair the world can be, and all know what it is to be dealt a bad hand. They all (well, the kids; Shadowsan has Guilt (TM)), to an extent, kind of....feel they deserve this (hey! tons of people far worse than them get to have nice things; why can't they?). They want and like this lifestyle, of jet setting and high living, the fantasy come real. It's fun, and really nice to not have to worry about being unable to afford their next meal or next month's rent. Plus they like the perks; the cars and tools, the bayside warehouse and the super-fast CPU Player wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise. It's hard to want to stop all that.
-- Maybe they can just...ignore that part of Carmen's Life Skills curriculum? Wolfe's secret accounts were seized by VILE, so a good chunk of this ill-begotten money is technically Carmen's by rights. The interest alone is a king's ransom, so she...doesn't really need to learn budgeting, right?
-- She wants her daughter to be able to manage her own money. Responsibly.
Carlotta: Hija, you spent almost $200 (US dollars for simplicity's sake) on shampoo this month. Do you truly think that's sustainable?
Carmen: ...Yeah? I mean, I recycle the bottle.
Carlotta: Dear Lord. π€¦ββοΈ
-- It's hard to see just how ignorant she is about money; it just reminds her how her baby was raised to be a weapon against humanity, one who was never meant to exist outside VILE. But stewing over it won't change matters, and anyway, after missing so much of her life, she actually welcomes to chance to teach her daughter Life Skills. And anyway, Carmen has a good head on her shoulders; how hard could it be?
Carlotta: Now, mira, see these bottles? The same size as the expensive one, but cost far less. You'd have more money for other necessities.
Carmen: Like the expensive shampoo?
-- This may take longer than she thought...
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