Red Flannel Sheets @redflannelsheets - Tumblr Blog

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#have you read this is how we lose the time war?#it’s fucking incredible!#it’s epistolary but also like poems #not verse but just… the beautiful and unexpected ways words can be strung together to make something at once familiar and foreign #I don’t know that’s there’s a way to explain it very well #I also don’t have my analysis hat on right now haha #just if you ever see this #i recommend it so much #you’re a wonderful crafter of words #and so these beautiful things make me think of you #alright well #back to my crafts and YouTube videos #sending you gentleness and soft sun rays peeking through leaf clusters mi amor #💜🫶🏼💜🌻

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Hello friend! One of your love letters is showing up in the main tag for the tv show cape fear. It looks very private so I thought I'd let you know. Take care!

Thank you, that’s very sweet of you to let me know! I’m not too concerned with the privacy aspect (if I were, this would all be in a notebook under my mattress 😉), but I don’t want to annoy the fandom! Fortunately for all, I probably won’t mention it again in one of these missives, lol. I sincerely appreciate your kindness in reaching out ☺️💕

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#in case nobody’s told you lately #I’m really proud of you. for everything that you are and put your mind and heart into #you wanna know a weird thing?#im even proud of you for sticking to this whole ‘never talking to me again’ thing lmao #I mean #I want you to talk to me again more than anything in the world #but the thing about you is when you’re determined #you succeed #no matter what it is #which is why when you quit drinking on your own for ten years that was ALL you #you didn’t need to ‘do it properly’ as though aa is THEE way #it’s one way (and if you ask me it’s… not a great way esp. for people with your kind of trauma)#but pure bullheadedness is also a way #and believe it or not you can talk about it with people who don’t share that problem #we’ll understand more than we’re given credit for!#I can quit weed and pills and whatever when I know I’m taking it too far #and I have. tbh I’m not doing anything right now and I’m fine without substances #but the eating disorder? that was my monkey and I had to buckle down to shake it from my back #it still lives with me. it’s a shadow stain on everything and I have to yell at it more frequently than I care to admit #but it doesn’t define me. it’s a strength now folded into everything I am. I don’t let it dictate me #I’m not powerless over it!#look I don’t know where I was going with that #but if ever you want to visit the bubble home we made for ourselves and level with me #you’re allowed. I’m not a drug. I’m just a person who loves you #a person who just wants you to find peace and let yourself enjoy life #and if that’s a sober life #great! I’m basically a teetotaler cause I hate alcohol lmao #booze doesn’t ease pain. it’s a lousy medicine. feeling everything can be miserable but it’s better in the end #anyway—be well my love. you’re still in my heart no matter how far or how long ago #always. 💜

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#it would be so much easier to just beam these thoughts into your mind #one) so I could just show you the hot fucking dream I had about us #and two) because it just sucks to have all this need to tell you stuff STILL happening almost five years later #my darling dearest I feel so forsaken #but I get on with it. I find things to learn and enjoy doing #I am celibate to an almost hilariously sad degree but that’s why god made vibrators ig?#but no really #I have a very tiny circle of friends and they are lovely and supportive #I go skating when my hips and knees don’t suck too bad #I watch baseball and laugh at the Mets and address Braves players with disappointment when they lose #I’m into video essays but lately my YouTube bingefests have been episodes of 48 Hours #I started the new Chuck tingle novel yesterday and gosh I love Mara Wilson’s voice #(I read and listen to audio both)#I’ve watched a lot of great shows lately #Widow’s Bay is so dryly hilarious! I just love Matthew Rhys. what a delightful Welshman he is #oh and Cape Fear is REALLY good. head fucky and kinda scary but brilliant #yeah I watch a lot of Apple TV but like… the prestige is truly prestigious lol #I’ll save you the movie recs cause it’s all horror and I know you ain’t about that life (no judgement!)#I wish I could hear all about what media you’re enjoying right now. I always loved to hear those details #I’m rambling. I do that #I miss you. I miss you so much #I have never missed anyone as much as I miss you.#but life goes on. people do what they do. and I shant interfere with you #I love you too much to upset whatever balance you’ve achieved #sighing into the void #letters to you #anyway i love you #💜🖤🫶🏼

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#dreamed about you #you were so sad and trying to avoid me #we were at some kind of event and we’d run into each other occasionally #you were skittish like a cat #but I was able to talk to you here and there #I offered simple affection but didn’t try anything on you #I didn’t want to hurt you or scare you so I was extra quiet and gentle #the dream is fast fading #ripped away by the bright sun filtering pink through my supposedly light blocking curtains #I’ve been trying so hard to let you fade away from me #but every day I think of you at some point #I miss you terribly still and I busy myself with art and craft and books #but the dreaming mind wants me to hold your hand and murmur affirmative affection against your forehead #sighing into the void #letters to you #anyway i love you #💜🖤

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abigail

i want to be HELD and i want to be KISSED !!!!!

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#woke up from a dream with you #we were always sitting together and touching each other with familiarity and warmth #it felt so secure #so sweet and lovely #but #(and there’s always a but #isn’t there darling)#it was always limited by the presence and opinions of others #why should others dictate what makes us happy or try to change it #sighing into the void #always missing you my love #with linked pinkies and childlike love #your girl #💜

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#ah #to be wanted! to be desired!#for your partner in their state if want to be unable to keep their hands from exploring your body #as though it is brand new territory each and every day!#to feel the same frenzied way about them!#to trust that this mutual madness can be managed among the day-to-day!#a glass of cold passionfruit juice and the fuzzy fizzy twilight of afterglow!#my love my love #I promise these ruminations don’t keep me from living #but the yearning for you still burns apace #the light remains on for you #brightening my soul’s windowsill #in case you ever come searching for our shared heart once more #mucho amor y tan muchos besitos para ti #tu chica por siempre #💜🖤

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#oh my god another sex dream #starring YOU #okay that sounds like an accusation or a complaint but trust me it’s not #it was extremely hot #and included an MMF with a singer I have a crush on #(I don’t want to say though if I was truly telling you directly I would)#((also I wish I’d talked more about my celebrity crushes but truthfully they’re few and far between. I was hoping I’d be able to explain #the asexual spectrum to you one day but alas))#anyway #I know it’s just my brain putting together a little funtime sleep movie for he but it was on point #the way you looked at me while I was teasing your cock with my tongue? bliss #I still get turned on to think about giving you head #and that’s not something I could say about everyone on the microscopic list of people I’ve had sex with #wow look at me embarrass myself this early in the morning #well anyway I’m going to make my bed and calm down I guess #got a long day of granny hobbies ahead of me so I’d better get on that #sighing into the void #🖤💜

I need a cuddle 😔

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#oh no how do I keep starting shows and movies with sex all up in them #while sitting next to the guy who thinks sex is *boring*#I know I know #wah wah wah #honestly I’m sick of myself lmao #it might be less the celibacy and more the embarrassment of lacking an essential connection #anyway #dreamed of you last night #when I saw you coming to my door I was so excited #we were both nervous and kind of shy but when we looked at each other we couldn’t hide the excitement #it was so sweet when we hugged #almost kissed but held back #it just felt so warm to be with you #muchos besitos a tu mi amor #💜🖤

pan--nieznajomy

Date idea: Let’s travel the world together, eat delicious food and fuck on hotel balconies

#look I’ll take fucking in the hotel room tbh #9 trips to Vegas and I didn’t even get a fingerbang!#what the fuck kind of vacation is that?!

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#I may have finally gotten through to my asexual partner why sex is important to the rest of us #I referred to it as ‘enrichment’ like when you dangle a string for a cat #or toss a toy or whatever #I didn’t want to belabor the point but I probably could mention #that enthusiasm on the part of the other creature engaging in enrichment activities is part of it haha #I know he’ll never get it #and I’m not bothering him for something he doesn’t want or want to give #but some days I just want to scream because I’m dying inside without that connection #to want and be wanted while also safe in the warmth of love? sigh. melt. swoon. *need.*#I know in the grand scheme of things it probably doesn’t matter #but not having sex in a decade will drive a person crazy #still I keep it inside #I’ll live without it. I think

distium

Purple night

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#another dream of you #slipping through my fingers every time we crossed paths #we tried to make plans to hang out and talk #but between the way your hands trembled in your yearning to touch me #and the way my heart ached that I knew something was holding you back #it never happened #meanwhile people were telling me to avoid you #as though disappointment were inevitable (and if it were i wouldn’t be able to survive it)#((and tbh losing you the way I did has strengthened me in ways I didn’t know were possible.#of course i still miss you. of course i still yearn. but i can get up and do things and make art. I’m not dead yet.))#anyway the rest of the dream was me annoying everyone around me by being impossibly horny on main lmao #not a thing i actually do in real life. the only person i was actively and obnoxiously horny around was you but you appreciated it #i keep to myself. I don’t talk about my desires or my zero-sugar vanilla kinks with anyone #I’m even shy to write about them in my journal. just in case I’m embarrassed later by how thirsty i can be ahahaha #anyway #i hope you’re having a delightful day #no i truly do #may your coffee be hot and your sunshine plentiful #and you feel many joys along the way #i love you you know #💜 🖤

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mstgsmy66

sleepbroken

YOU, should be with me in public

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