Aka the much needed "We all live in other countries but we still somehow became friends"
Might also be a ZoSan AU because I can
This AU is free for others to work with if they so please and it's even recommended.
So everyone lives in the countries Oda said they would be from:
Usopp : African country (Oda didn't specify which one)
The crew uses some app like Discord or such to keep in contact, and most of them have originally some sort of self made logo as their icon until Usopp decides that he'll draw them icons. But he does this only after he has had few video calls with all of them so they all pretty much know what the other look like.
Except for Zoro and Sanji, who have never been in a video call together nor have they been present on a video call with the whole group at the same time.
Most of them also have jobs already safe for few:
Sanji is in catering business run by Zeff, Zoro does competitive kendo and Usopp is a journalist.
Robin is a historian while Brook is in a symphony orchestra, Franky is a game dev.
Chopper is still in med school while Luffy and Nami are studying to become a firefighter and a tour guide respectively.
Either way, it just so happens that Zoro has his next match in France and Baratier is their caterer. Zoro and Sanji see one another few times and notice how the other one makes them think of the icons Usopp made, but it never clicks for them.
It goes as far as Usopp, who's on duty there to write about the kendo competition, greets them both at the same time, using their online names (Mr Prince for Sanji and KendoMan for Zoro), both of them answered to him at the same time and yet they didn't realise it.
The two dumbasses even message one another asking for advice on how to woo one another:
Mr. Prince: Mosshead, quick! I need some sword facts so I can impress this hottie who's rn training across the street without a shirt
KendoMan: I am in middle of practicing for a tournament you stupid cook, I can't help you
KendoMan: Oy, cook, I need your help so I can make this cute blonde fall for me
Mr. Prince: Eat a dick mosshead.
Mr. Prince: You didn't help me, I won't help you
They are also having complicated feelings because they reeeally like that mystery swordsman/waiter but they also like one another's Internet personas. They only realise that they were in the same city once they are both returning to their homes and decide to send some photos to the group chat.
Later on Zoro decides to move into France because he liked it and he opens a dojo there. Naturally, he and Sanji meet again and even manage to score a date with one another somehow still oblivious about the truth.
Another exchange of texts with their online personas:
KendoMan: Fuck me softly with a chainsaw. COOK HELP ME WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ON A DATE???
Mr. Prince: I CAN'T HELP YOU MARIMO, I AM HAVING GAY PANIC IN THE RESTROOM AND MY DATE IS WAITING FOR ME TO COME BACK
It takes one last message to which Sanji apologises over as he needs to answer to his friend, who just so happens to be Zoro. And then it finally clicks.
"Your hair is....actually green? I thought that it was just something Usopp added for shits and giggles" "Your eyebrow actually has a curl??" "I mean yeah? They both do but on the opposite ends, please don't ask me how that works, I don't know"
Everyone else has been anticipating the moment they realise that they are crushing on one another, but kept their mouths shut, they also had a betting pool about it. Usopp had been dropping them hints all the time.
Captain Usopp: Jeez guys leave some romantic blabber for the rest of us too
But the duo always thought that he was just joking about things.
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