drowned in the purest type of blood

I want to run away to a world all by myself.

I world where no one can ever find me.

No nice words, no bad words, just my thoughts.

My thoughts as I slowly go insane into this false reality thinking that everything is okay.

I want to slip further into that thought.

That thought that I’m okay and that the people I care about actually love me back.

I know its false, but I want that pain when they finally say they hate me.

I want to hear the lies they tell me.

I want to see how this game ends.

It’s a game.

Like a game at a carnival.

I want to walk on building and fall off them.

All the way to the bottom till my skull cracks open.

I want the people to watch and laugh like it’s a show.

I don’t want them to be sad, I want them to be happy.

I want to feel like that child again.

The child that didn’t know she was being manipulated and abused by other.

Blind to the hate given to her.

Now she sees it. Now she knows.

Know she accepts it. She wants it.

Now she doesn’t live for herself nor does she live for others.

She lives for the pain.

She wants to slam that little girls head into the wall.

Over and over until blood is running down her neck and dripping down to the floor.

She wanted to put a gun to that girl’s head then to her own shortly after.

She wants her own blood to stain the windows and floor.

Her body toward to shreds and forgot.

Completely forgotten by others.

Only for them to look at her body and laugh.

My skin will be stained red with my own blood.