getting into one tree hill…
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@recoveringarchivist
getting into one tree hill…

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I don't know if it makes sense to reduce your life in order to expand it I think you always end up resenting the limitation, I’m not talking about the necessity of being realistic about where limitations in your life are, I’m talking about perceived sacrifice despite actually being self-imposed limitations, I’m thinking of how my mom moved from singapore to surveil her children in the USA but hates having re-rooted here and blames it for every bad thing in her life, I’m thinking about my friend relenting to staying in a country and even a state she didn’t want to just so she could build a family w a person who never wants to leave it, I don’t know if that ever works out in a way where the party who feels reduced in some capacity takes full ownership of their choices and accept them in a restorative way, the soreness always seems to sit in the spine or something just waiting come out later, I always thought ‘it’s not a sacrifice if you want to do it, only if you don’t’
alpine lily coralroot orchid hike

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my mom missed out on a two-year-old’s birthday party because she felt she was too ugly and old-looking to go and I feel deeply disturbed by this I never want to be like that
my names together are literally a stone and a bird and his names are defender of man and a traveler who’s brave and we both took them to heart
I want to get married and raise children in a way that doesn’t involve getting married or having children
from Step
BY GEORGE ALBON
to be reminded
of the failing
mainspring
not sudden silence
after the extreme figure
but the relative
a grimace told
him to push the
articulation farther
the yet green used
marks a tongues
-width to tally
a different sound
preceded every word
then took to term
to feel hips
as if new tangents
were bolting
my friend’s kid going through a hitting phase turned two today and I got hit a lot

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indulgence doesn’t help asceticism makes it worse so then what
I could name my children Shining and Bright after Dawn’s two young colts
in hong kong we’d greet each other with 食咗飯未呀 which means “have you eaten yet?” And Koichi told me in Osaka you greet people with もかりまっか which translates to “are you making a lot of money?”

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note in my phone
I’m still so mad about the Odyssey movie man i think it’s for people who never read the work in any capacity (or don’t remember it) and i think it’s convenient to be able to hide behind the work’s age, mythological subject, oral tradition and thus the malleability of Homer’s epic, to lean on “artistic license” and gimmicks that serve no purpose
It’s just bad writing. The dialogue is very much, at times, exactly like Tenet—written as a series of conversations styled as interrogatory, rapid-fire question-and-answer segments between two characters that feel forced, clunky, and unnecessarily pseudo-philosophical and psycho-analytical, supposed to elicit some sort of strong emotional response but fall flat every time
He rewrites all the women as victims of circumstance in a way the men don't really have to answer to (they're more caught in a bind); Circe is reduced to being afraid of what men can do and their inherit “monstrosity,” Helen exists as the surviving proof of what men can do, her sister Clytemnestra is the example of what a bad woman can do, Athena only serves as an idea of a conscious (imaginary friend-like, hallucination, and victim of men’s wrath, greed, misunderstanding despite being a goddess), Penelope wishes her son were her husband, almost resenting his status as a man, and seems only to be as crafty as Nolan will allow her, and Calypso is just having an “I can fix him” moment. Meanwhile, Odysseus is a tortured genius.
For a director whose entire body of work is so thematically linked to time and memory, Nolan can’t or chooses not to do anything interesting with either concept and instead just makes Odysseus forget. He becomes the lotus eater, a man who lost years to disassociation. He wars with himself over his motivations and decides he must not have wanted to return because forgetting is easier than living with himself. But then he changes his mind just in time to do! Barely anything lasting! He doesn’t share his story with anyone except Calypso. He is apathetic about and at times disbelieving of the gods, but then conveniently lets go of control and gives it to them when there’s nothing else to do. He peripherally acknowledges their presence (to his apparent horror) in a moment of clarity, but after he gets to restore the kingdom of Ithaca to his bloodline, conveniently gets to escape the consequences of his actions anyway knowing they are doomed. We are supposed to take the fall of Troy and “bronze age” as a warning sign mirrored in today, but I guess only as a warning? With no resolve or call to action.
Nolan sucked out all of Homer’s wit and humor and poignance. The film forgets that so much of the story hinges upon Odysseus being a liar and suspicious of people, not so much the gods. He is also not truly punished for his actions (whatever that could mean during a presumed fall of civilization), there is no justice or learning, instead he is tortured mostly by himself and gets to ride off into the sunset with his wife. It felt like an action/spy thriller ancient Greek Oppenheimer with Robert Eggers' aesthetics. It was such a waste