Serendipity

Or doesn’t understand your lack of connection w the original family. And tries to slide in remarks on how impt it is. I think it’s impt to respect other people’s choice of life too. Do I impose it on you?

I could tell you what you did but you would change only for the sake of keeping me.

That’s not what I want. I don’t want to change you. I loved you for you. I just wished you knew how to love me a little better. I wished you knew me better.

All the times I pretended not to care, I didn’t know it was piling up in my heart the reasons why I can’t be with you. And when you asked me why, I couldn’t answer, because there were so many reasons.

Protect the flame and draw up a plan to grow it. Gently subside worries and doubts so your people know it’s not a whim.

- be a travelling software engineer who works remote 

  >join online bootcamps

- be an illustrator of soft cosy art and sell stickers and comforting merchandise like towels, mugs, coasters

 >take online courses, use books, draw everyday

And even though we are comfortable with each other, we still work for each other’s love, trying to look good for each other, do more, think more, and appreciate more. Thank you, thank you for being a part of my life. ❤️

Doing more of what makes me happy.

They are angry because they are afraid to become ashamed if they don’t know how to answer.

I used to think I like being around friends, but more recently, I think I like being alone, with my thoughts, spending time on what I love and building my competence more.

It’s not that I don’t like being around them, but I wish to focus more on myself.

I build on my competence not because I wish to actively pursue my interests, but because I wish to not let up an opportunity when it is presented to me. I don’t want to look for jobs related to the Creative field and give up my current profession, but I don’t want to have to say no to my boss when she asks me if I can take on drawing tasks but because I haven’t spent time sharpening my skills in it.

Journaling Everyday makes it seem like a chore but when I start, it doesn’t seem like it, it feels like a release, just writing what is in my mind.

Growing old might mean a less appealing shell, but still it means growing, getting to know yourself more and having a more meaningful everyday than being young and trying everything out without a goal in mind or a goal that I was certain of. Now it seems growing old is growing clearer, knowing what I want, knowing that there are devils residing in me, and being human is not about being perfectly kind and angelic. It’s more like not causing hurt or harm to others while protecting my own interests, and that it’s perfectly fine to do so.

Being young and reckless was like choosing a way of life and blindly following it to the end, missing out on your own life in the process.

spend time doing the things that i like

stop beating myself up

be gentle with myself and others

as long as I don’t fall into bad habits or bring harm to others

then I think its enough, isn’t it

it’s hard trying to think how to be better, how to achieve more

when at the end of the day,

whats more important is what you want to do

what you believe in 

and to spend time in those things

when you try to understand what others want

to build their empire

and to step up their ladder

thinking that in turn that gets you what you want

money status power 

when actually

Making mistakes, being careless

Being told that I got confused again