OKAY back to the queue grind -mod t
you can always vent here (and/or ask us not to post it), or ask us not to post an ask if you accidentally left it off anon! it is NOT a hassle and we voluntarily do this to help you
stop triggering people's moral ocd and guilt tripping people who don't farm notes for you
mod teto (he/him) - main mod all older posts without a mod tag are by me
mod kev (she/her) - everyone say thank you mod kev for her hard work
rules
not your white guilt assauger. please don't vent about how being born white makes you feel guilty in my inbox. more in FAQ. tag to filter it out is #race related asks
not an internet discourse blog. don't debate in my inbox. however if you're radqueer, transrace, or don't believe in transandrophobia, you're not welcome here.
obviously no ableism. this includes people with cluster b disorders, schizophrenic disorders, and intellectual disabilities.
(FAQ below cut)
check out links if you want more comprehensive answers/resources related to the question. written by mod teto so all the 'i' refers to mod teto
Q: why aren't we allowed to send white guilt vent asks
A: because i'm a person of color and im tired of reading them. i made this blog to spread awareness about harmful guilt tripping over internet clicks, not to console white people who feel guilty because they're white or because posts about racism make them feel uncomfortable. (i promise there are resources/communities out there if you do genuinely struggle with guilt or want to learn how to support people of color better.)
Q: mod are you pro-genocide
A: no.
Q: i didn't mean to trigger people's moral OCD
A: tag it #tw reblog bait or add a disclaimer that it is not mandatory to reblog or interact with it.
Q: okay but i didn't say they would go to hell if they didn't reblog
A: the existence of "reblog if you support poc" implies a "don't reblog if you don't"
Q: are note games/"tag a moot"/"reblog if you're"/this other thing okay?
A: does your post make people feel morally worse or evil if they don't reblog it
Q: what about "send this to xyz other people if you break the chain you (xyz bad punishment)"?
A: go directly to jail. lose your net worth. do not pass go
Q: but we're raising awareness for xyz group
A: don't care. nobody is a bad person for not reblogging your post.
Q: do you even support xyz group?
A: i'm not homophobic, i'm not transphobic, i'm not racist, i'm not bigoted, i just don't care about your performative guilt tripping and shaming techniques.
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Holy shit your blog is so validating as someone with ocd. Reblog bait has always made me feel bad, so having someone go “you’re not a bad person for not interacting” is so relieving. Genuinely thank you
you're welcome and thank you for sending this ask!
Just wanted to say this blog helps a lot, especially with the filter tag/content lists to avoid reblog bait. I only fully realized I had moral OCD a few months ago when I mentioned some of my thought processes to someone and they said it sounded like moral OCD, recognizing what trips it off is a huge help, thank you
Ugh not Tumblr related specifically but the guilt tripping thing that really grinds my gears is this thing YT shorts keeps doing
I keep seeing these shorts that say "not all men, but all women will watch this video for X amount of time to help me with Y"
Which, as a trans woman with moral OCD, makes me want to tear holes in walls
Not only does it feel like I have to watch this or my gender isn't valid (which I KNOW is irrational, but when was my OCD ever rational?) but it intentionally puts it up against the "not all men" sentiment used by shitty men trying to deflect blame from themselves, which implies that if you don't watch the video, you're just like those jerks (not saying all men are a problem, I'm talking about a very specific subset of men who use "not all men" as an excuse)
I've seen a lot of guilt trips in my time but this one SPECIFICALLY messes with me so hard and I wish people would just stop doing it
i'm so sorry this has happened to you, using gender-focused interaction bait is insane and incredibly shitty to do
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managed to find a compromise with myself by reblogging with a message saying ur not obligated to reblog said post therefore i still technically reblogged it but also gave a fuck you to reblog bait
the context of the post was suicide hotlines but the way it was put was horrible (if u dont reblog this ur killing suicidal people i dont care about ur blog theme) (as a suicidal person i can say that not reblogging a list of usa only hotlines does not mean ur killing suicidal people. we (or at least me and my friends) know about hotlines we choose not to use them and a post reblogging them doesnt change our mind)
i promise not reblogging it doesn't mean you're killing someone, honestly most blogs are small and don't have much reach anyway, and people who need those hotlines can always look them up & often don't just get the info from a random tumblr post.
sigghing HARD because even though I'm fully aware I can help others and myself by recognising and tagging reblog bait, I instead get a NEW fear that I'm going to get a zillion interrogations and discord messages and posts calling me out for being racist/sexist/bigoted on tagging properly on bait posts that are more serious
i just can't reblog this stuff at all for my own peace of mind
i promise no one's gonna call you out for it, and if they do it'll only be one or two idiots, not a whole swarm of people coming to crucify you. worst case scenario, this blog will defend properly tagging reblog bait and stand with you, but i promise it won't come to a witch hunt.
(sexual topics are mentioned so feel free to delete this or trigger tag as needed)
ok not rb bait related but i need to vent somewhere 😔
my moral ocd is currently trying to beat my ass up for having sexual feelings regarding a canon asexual character. they're not canonically sex repulsed or anything and the creators even said they don't care about sexual work being made of the character, but my mind is trying to convince me that im secretly aphobic [despite also being asexual spectrum] [well queer people can be queerphobic sometimes but yk what i'm getting at] for having this attraction.
currently gritting my teeth trying to remind myself that thought crimes don't exist and that the ace spectrum is incredibly vast. trying sooooo hard not to do the self punishment thing. but god im so tired of my mind attacking me over small things.
i'm so sorry this is happening to you, and i hope it passes. i promise you're not secretly aphobic, and it's okay to be attracted to any fictional character regardless of their sexuality. attraction isn't something you can control, it's just who you like, and it's victimless especially if the character doesn't even exist.
(kind of venty) I guess not reblog bait but another type of posts that really fucks me over is when somebody is talking about bad people but they're writting as if the person reading it was one of them ("You used AI", "You abused children", "fuck you all" type stuff) Like I know I'm supposed use the context of I didn't do any of those things to figure out this person isn't talking about me but that part of my brain isn't really working so I just end up spiraling anyway. And usually I can just reblog to ease the guilt but with this type of posts the person isn't saying that I'm gonna be a bad person if I don't reblog, they're saying I'm a bad person period. So the compulsion is not to reblog but to actually hurt myself, which is so much worse
i'm so sorry this is happening to you and i totally understand how those kinds of posts can come off aggressive
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some moral ocd haver with 4 followers: hmmm.... i dont know... saying puppies dont deserved to be kicked seems kind of risky. what if im not as well-spoken as i think and people misunderstand me and think im actually pro puppies getting kicked? maybe this can just stay in the drafts. i dont want to come off as an deplorable force of evil
there r other people who do this??? ive always thought i was just a freak for being the only person in the world who does stuff like this.
for me its usually political debates, debates over whether im a good person or not, questioning my own memories or talking to myself plotting my end (or more accurately debating over what my friends reactions would be)
glad to know im not the only person to do something similar to what the post says
just venting about a post i found to be so bad, i had xkit block all instances of it. this post had the balls to start with "don't stay in freeze mode" and follow it up with a huge guilt trip paragraph about how you're on Trump's side if you aren't out there protesting the ICE raids. i have CPTSD and freeze mode is the dominant trauma response for me, why the fuck are you using it as a cudgel? it screams of the whole "logging off for your mental health is snotty and privileged" takes when freeze mode is a TRAUMA RESPONSE and developing it TO PROTECT YOUR SANITY is NOT PRIVILEGE.
i hate these posts especially if they use mental health terms/symptoms in a pop psychology way, like no, ppl with freeze reponse are not morally bankrupt and responsible for "silence is violence", they're just traumatized!
and for some people, going to anti-ICE protests directly threatens them. if someone perceived as ICE/the police as an illegal immigrant went, they could be detained and locked up. like you mentioned too, disabilities, traumatic triggers, and other physical or mental conditions could also prevent someone from going. none of these things makes you pro-Trump inherently
does “why are you all too scared to repost this” count as a reblog bait phrase on a post or no? i scrolled by one that had those words and it gave off those vibes but I’m not sure
genuinely asking
it can sometimes be, but it's less aggressive and i see it being used on more informational posts to provoke thought, it also doesn't say anything extreme like "you're a bigot for not reblogging"
I use anonymous (only ever good and kind) because of my ocd and paranoia around privacy but also because my blog’s views sometimes goes against someone else’s and I don’t want to intrude on their boundaries but I have two problems
1–the anxiety from pressing ask. I immediately forget whether it was anonymous or not so I panic. I’ve just sent a question somewhere and I can’t remember so now I’m freaking out and debating deleting everything because people aren’t kind sometimes. And I can’t remember what happpened a literal moment ago, how do I know I haven’t forgotten myself doing something awful?
2-I use anon even when my blog and their blog matches because of the previously mentioned privacy anxiety, but even then I get responses like ‘why is this on anon’ ‘did this need to be on anon’ ‘why do you feel the need to be anonymous’ ‘it’s strange this anon’ and I understand because when it’s nothing bad it’s strange why someone will choose anon, and yet it still makes me feel terrible and like I’ve done something wrong.
Both of these are me problems and I’m so exhausted with my problems being caused by me. It makes it seem like they should be easy fixes but they aren’t
this sounds like a lot to handle, you're strong for continuing despite all of this and i'm proud of you
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I’m not sure if anyone has mentioned this, but we’ve noted that sometimes the tone of a post or a lack of certain information is all it takes to cause moral ocd to act up- we just saw a post with a more aggressive tone and not all the information we needed to fully understand the post’s message without worrying about anything and it freaked us OUT ;-;
- 🩹
i completely understand this, posts that feel like they're being aggressive can be upsetting. especially the types of posts that decide to repeat something in all caps multiple times
