MOVED TO REASONSTAPED

CAMERON  SHAVER.  original  character.  

TESSA  BOLAN.  original  character.

MAY  DEMPSEY.  canon,  divergent.

AMELIA  RICE.  unseen  canon.

CHLÖE  RICE.  canon.

MACKENZIE.  canon. 

SCOTT  REED.  canon.

                                ‘ IT WAS COMICAL that bryce walker was actually here to do yoga. lily rolled her eyes as she got up from the piano bench, shaking her head. “don’t you have to have a SOUL in order to achieve the mind of yoga?” she sighed, biting down on her lip as she crossed her arms over her chest.  “i didn’t know this yoga studio was owned by the SPAWN OF SATAN FAMILY. it’s a joke, isn’t it? that you come here, do yoga, that your mother owns this place? what, is it a ploy to make yourselves look like you’re decent, upstanding people when really you’re as slimey and disgusting as it gets?” she shot at him, not at all mincing her words.

                             SHE wasn’t expecting anything at all from him – but as she looked at him, all she could see was HANNAH and how he took away one of her only best friends, one of the only person she had ever been so close with. it was unbearable to lily that HE was alive and hannah wasn’t. it was an unspeakable pain –  a pain she wasn’t quite over. 

HE DESERVES HER BITTERNESS, has done things that have every reason to make people hate him. “I've got a soul, lily. I'm trying to do better, believe it or not.” but he assumes she wont. no one does.  “and there’s a reason we don’t put our name on the place. my mom had nothing to do with what I did, she doesn’t deserve to be fucked over in life because her son's a piece of shit.”

                                  ‘ MUSIC was blaring from liliana marie jensen’s room, JUST LIKE ALWAYS. her parents and older brother DETESTED the fact that she often blared her music, before and after school, but that was just the way LILY was, the name she always went by ( except her family who called her LILIANA when she was in trouble ). her PARENTS were out for a DATE night, leaving clay and lily home alone and there was a MASSIVE SATURDAY NIGHT PARTY going on at bryce walker’s house. as a SOPHOMORE at liberty high, lily had the bad girl, wild girl reputation, but lily LIKED the attention – so different from her older brother. she wanted bryce walker’s ATTENTION, especially now that he was broken up with chloe rice. 

                                            dressed up with make up on now, she TRIED to sneak out the front door, but saw clay on the couch. “… um … i’m not .. i mean, i’m going to kayla’s house. you know her, she’s come over for homework. we’re uh, having a study cram session. i’ll see ya!” SUCH A BIG LIAR. she was sweet, naive, innocent in her own way and much like CLAY, lily had a sweet disposition,  and a GREAT heart. she was LOYAL, always. 

                                CLAY isn’t entirely oblivious. he sure can be, but he’s not when it comes to his own FAMILY. he’s become so paranoid since losing hannah, so full of ANXIETY, that nothing goes on without him noticing. and so, despite the music blaring upstairs, he hears the footsteps coming down, and he looks up JUST IN TIME to meet her eye before she manages to get out.

Of course Mercy knew it. That way of life was OVER for all of them. Perhaps for the best as it would prevent other girls from being hurt because of him. More would hopefully speak out on everything he had done even if her own world was becoming cracked and broken in the shockwaves that rolled through as a result. Mercy could take the hits, he DESERVED them. But there was a beat, a moment of vulnerability that seeped through the wall she was attempting to build between herself and Bryce. And admittance of FEAR over potentially hearing the tapes. Her eyes spotting the white knuckles, the stumbling over his own words. A scared little boy running away from the consequences of his own actions and unable to even face one of his victims through the recordings. It was a realisation that, even in her drunken state, Mercy had never see her brother appear so VULNERABLE.

Usually so confident, UNTOUCHABLE in a way. He was someone most of the school had looked up to at one point and he’d driven some of the more dickish jocks away from bullying others. A calm demeanor absolutely SHATTERED and surprising even Mercy.   ❝      ——— And Hannah was scared, too. So was Jess. So was every other girl.    ❞     So was she and she had only just LISTENED to the horrible actions. Her tone had softened considerably then, emotions tipping all over the place and Mercy wasn’t sure if it was due to the alcohol or the strain of it all on her own fragile shoulders. 

It had been easier to believe him when it was just rumours. When he had said Jess had just been filled with regret and lied. Now Mercy felt guilty for EVER believing such a thing, but—— it was so easy to when it was your big brother spilling the lie. She always wanted to believe him but now she couldn’t. Perhaps never again. Any time he was with a girl, Mercy would have to wonder what was happening behind those CLOSED DOORS. Forever filled with doubt on what his intentions were, especially now that it looked like he’d get off or with a very light sentence. Didn’t he need some sort of PUNISHMENT to learn from his mistakes?  But him sitting there, Mercy could almost feel bad for him. The watering eyes didn’t go unnoticed by her, she often was more of the wallflower that watched rather than participate.

❝       I don’t think anyone can just PREPARE themselves to hear a dead girl like that. But how the FUCK are you supposed to ever learn better if you don’t accept what you did? If you don’t hear how you messed those girls up? You say you’d want the same if things were reversed and I was the one that was hurt but you aren’t even accepting everything. You don’t want to be the bad guy but you ARE.   ❞      Harsh truths in a soft voice but what else was she supposed to say? Even with every sisterly instinct wanting to comfort him, every MORAL she had told her not to. Because she could still hear his own voice, practically confessing on those recordings, could still hear Hannah’s voice as she was broken into pieces by Bryce and the others.

❝       If you actually did something to make up for what you did, if you faced the consequences and tried to make AMENDS, then maybe I’d be willing to support you through that. But right now, everyone is just feeling more pain with every denial.    ❞    

Bryce KNOWS he’s not the greatest guy on earth, knows he’s done BAD THINGS, but he wants to think that he’s redeemable. Wants to think that THE LIBERTY HIGH RAPIST isn’t all he’s going to be for the rest of his life. But it’s not that simple, it’s never that simple, and he has to wonder if the world will ever actually let him change. He can want to change all he wants, can WANT to be a good guy, but without action, it’ll never happen. And without the world accepting his attempts his actions will never REALLY MATTER.

❝       You’re RIGHT.    ❞     Spoken quietly, the boy trying to CONVINCE HIMSELF of that rather than give her validation in her statement. He’s the bad guy and he needs to ACCEPT that. Nothing truly good can come from his denial. Nothing will ever get better when he DENIES the only thing that the rest of the world knows about him. Perhaps part of why he’s so defensive is that its MERCY. it’s his sister, and not even she is on his side. Why would she be? What he did was fucked up, and she has every right to be TERRIFIED of him.

❝       I’m the bad guy.    ❞     To Hannah, to Jessica, probably to Chloe, to other girls, TO MERCY.  He’s the kind of guy he wants Mercy to stay far away from, a HYPOCRITE through and through. He’s going to try to fix that, try to fix himself, but he wonders how much he can actually change. He can work hard, he can get help, but none of that will change the URGES. His sick instincts, the urge towards violence. Even if he OUTWARDLY CHANGES, inside those urges will still plague him. Even if he denounces them, even if they DISGUST him, they’ll still be there. Still be a part of him. And he wonders if he would ever really be able to be RID of them, or if he’s doomed to be the bad guy forever.

❝       Do you think I can change? BE GOOD?    ❞     He’s heard people say that anyone can change, but he’s heard those same people turn around and talk about how Bryce Walker is THE DEFINITION OF EVIL. He wonders if that’s how Mercy thinks of him, as simply an EVIL PERSON who would never change. He hopes that she wouldn’t think of him in that way, but he couldn’t blame her if she did. 

she had come to him to ask with help studying. not that she really knew about charlie’s math skills, but he seemed to do well enough in the class. plus, she really just wanted to make some friends here at liberty, and he seemed really nice. and cute. so that seemed like a good enough reason to ask him for help. sure, her wording had been a tiny bit dramatic, but she’s caught off guard when he’s suddenly pulling her aside, causing her cheeks to go bright red. this was weird. this was the kind of thing that she had been trying to move away from. was charlie involved with something…. bad?

“uhm.” it takes her a second to try and figure out what she actually needs to say, now. “i was just uh, going to ask if you would help me study for the uh, math test coming up? we have class together.” they weren’t close, but apparently he was still ready to jump and help her with something that he had perceived as pretty serious. she even felt bad for it. “sorry, uhm, i didn’t mean to make you think that uh, anything was wrong. i mean, aside from me being terrible at math. other than that, i’m okay.” an awkward laugh. what had this guy been through?

oh. oh no. that's awkward, that's something hes never gonna forget about. covering up a murder? forgettable, day to day life. this exact moment? mortifying, will make him wake up in a cold sweat in twenty years. he laughs, awkward but genuine. it was a little funny, even if it was also absolutely embarrassing.

“right, duh, yeah that's what I meant, you know. whatever it takes to get you a good grade.” yikes. “math's a big deal, you know, its uh- it's big.” hes digging himself a deeper hole, this is not making things better. “tests you know, they- they're tests. testing you.”