Adult HS Fan Just Here To Lurk…

I read today’s finale with tears soaking the pages.

I’m sure I wasn’t alone.

As Alice Oseman imagined Nick and Charlie holding hands on a beach somewhere, we waved goodbye to one of the most beloved series in YA history.

I remember the criticism back in 2019. Some said Heartstopper was wrapped in safe and traditional heteronormativity. It wasn’t uniformly celebrated by the queer community. Remember the days when the word 'wholesome' almost caused a civil war?

My position hasn't really changed. Here's why. I always felt that Nick and Charlie’s relationship was built on a layer of radical vulnerability, gentleness and emotional equality. These aren't traits that so-called heteronormative media often displays.

Take Nick. His bisexuality is discovered through time, patience and support. Nick is allowed a whole volume to work his sexuality out. He reads, asks questions and thinks things through. Alice Oseman consistently resisted drama for its own sake (Charlie doesn't pressurise Nick to make a decision, let alone one where his bisexuality is erased in the process). This is an accidental but much needed middle finger to all the doubters in the LGBT community who slammed bisexuality as greedy or indecisive. We've all read those 'bi now, gay later' myths. Ths book challenges and corrects them with devastating precision.

We could go further and praise Oseman for breaking down more stereotypesm, namely that queer people can't play sport. rugby playing Nick is allowed to be fiercely protective while remaining incredibly soft, warm and expressive in his feelings.

So no, I don't think Nick and Charlie were ever modelled on old heterosexual scripts.

Secondly, the idea that monogamy is a heterosexual narrative is almost goofily old-fashioned. Nobody owns the intellectual rights to commitment or loyalty. And saying so doesn't invalidate the feelings or wishes of people who want other things. It says that both can exist.

And frankly, who wanted to keep reading queer books where the queer characters died in the final chapter or some terrible traedy happened. Not that those books aren't important, they are. But our lives are not governed by tragedy.

We deserved to laugh and dream and love. Alice Oseman gave us those things.

My local LGBT bookshop sent me some stickers today with the book which proudly state ‘Heartstopper changed me forever’. You could call that good PR but actually..I think many would find a grain of truth in that statement.

I've always been a soft lad. Gentle. Quiet. My autism makes small talk hard. Life brings many challenges but I'm no longer ashamed to be a dreamer in the shadows. If Heartstopper tells us anything, it's this. Kindness isn't weakness. Gentleness isn't passivity. You don't need to bully others to feel in control. Finding who you are and embracing it (warts and all) is the biggest joy you were ever find.

So yes Heartstopper has probably changed (and I daresay saved a fair few) lives in the process. People have found the courage to come out, accepted themselves and worked out who they are to the backdrop of these books (and the later Netflix blockbuster). For many, Heartstopper was the first time they saw themselves and their lives in books or on a big screen. That matters. It really matters. Our visibility went meanstream. And that didn't mean selling out. Not once.

It's easy to dismiss the story as cute or fluffy. But Heartstopper was no one trick pony. it didn’t mimic Hollywood. It didn't need too. Boy did meet boy and they did fall in love. But Charlie Spring also had severe mental health problems, an eating disorder and lived with severe bullying. Nick Nelson had an imperfect family dynamic. Other characters formed all the leters of the LGBTQIA+ rainbow.

Volume 6 arrives and the change is stark. Nick celebrates his 18th birthday We cheer and clap as Charlie makes it to Head Boy. An incredible achievement. At one point, he is reminded that he's been an entire year without self harming. And in another scene, he struggles with his eating disorder and asks for early help. A reminder that recovery is always ongoing and never in a straight line.

We meet newbie Alife, a younger boy who is being bullied in the corridors. Charlie wastes no time to use his new Head Boy role to protect Alfie. When Charlie finally gets help to set up his Pride Group, Alfie is one of the first to pop his head around the door to come in. it's a moving piece of writing.

As Charlie's confidence grows, so does his list of admirers. And Nick spends a fair chunk of the book feeling sad, low on confidence and overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy. When you feel so deeply, that comes at a price (as I know myself).

Charlie reminds Nick that he doesn’t want a saviour and then lists all of the reasons he loves him. He encourages Nick to go out into the world and show everyone else what a fantastic human being he is.

One of the most moving moments arrives quietly. We see the true depth of Nick’s character when he volunteers at the Lost Paws rescue centre. He meets Biscuit, a sad little dog who doesn't want to play and just sits in the corner by himself. Instead of giving up or pushing him away, Nick shows remarkable tenderness and quiet kindness. Over time, Biscuit starts to trust him, begins to play, and finally finds a loving family to take him home. That is exactly who Nick Nelson is. He doesn't demand that things be loud, rushed, or forced; His kindness is unhurried.

Friendship has always been central to this series. How many of secretly wish our school lives had been met with friendship group as wonderful as this? Probably most of us. And they are all growing and changing.

Which leads me to the emotion.

Tao says to Charlie these epic lines:

Obviously we're not a couple, but my love for you is still as strong. And means so much to me. I mean, all of us. The exact relationships may change, and people may fall in and out of touch, I don't know. Our lives will take different paths. But the web of love that connects us will never break. We built it. And it built us

And that's not only true for a character or a cast. It's true for the fandom too.

So let them step into the sunset and do so quietly, with dignity and strength..with a chance.

I've found you.