Today's Document
romaβ
pixel skylines
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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gracie abrams
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shark vs the universe
PR's Tumblrdome
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cherry valley forever
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@realistic-naruto-quotes
Naruto: A countdown clock, green text on a black background. We are in a full-on action movie mode. Now all I need is my no-nonsense sensei to tell me to focus because time is running out.
Kakashi: Naruto
Naruto: Yes?
Kakashi: You have something on your teeth. It's um, quite off-putting.
Naruto: What? No! "Time is running out"! I fed you your line. No one ever has something in their teeth in a movie. Watch a movie, stupid Kakashi!
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[At a Jonin meeting]
Ebisu: All right, you mooks, our union health plan has 100% reimbursement for out-of-village ambulance rides. Hayate will fake a medical emergency.
Hayate: Don't need to fake it. Always having at least one
Sai: Hey Naruto sneezes like a girl!
Naruto: And how about I pound you like a boy?
Naruto, realizing what he just said: That didn't come out right...
Mikoto: So Kushina, when's your due date?
Kushina: Mmmh, around the first half of October
Mikoto: Then your baby will probably be a libra.
Kushina: Is that a good thing?
Mikoto: Well, my Sasuke is a leo, and libra's and leo's get along well
Kushina: Then it's a good thing.
Later in the night...
Mikoto, waking up: Sasuke's future best friend is going to be a libra.
Itachi, coming from the other room: My little brother's future best friend will be a libra?
Fugaku: Please everyone go to sleep.
Fugaku, murmuring: My youngest son's best friend will be a libra.
Karin: Suigetsu, that better not be what I think it is. You better not have brought my diary to school
Suigetsu:I had to, I'm doing my book report on it.
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Tenten, dressed as a boxer: No, this year I planned a two person costume with neji. He's going as my ring girl.
Neji dressed as Samara Morgan: Pretty freaky deaky, huh?
Tenten: Neji, no. I meant the boxing match ring girl. The sexy ones that hold the round numbers.
Neji: Yeah, see, this is why we can't just text about it, Tenten. I don't watch sports.
Lee: There's no boxer in The Ring.
Neji: I don't watch scary movies!
Itachi: Sasuke, do you have a credit card?
Sasuke: I'm a child.
Gaara: My own father thought I was a monster.
Gaara: He was right, of course, but it still hurt.
Kiba: Would you call me selfish?
Shino: No, not to your face.
[Naruto trips and hits his head]
Sakura: If it's a concussion, you have to keep him conscious, okay? Ask him questions.
Lee: What's seven times seven?
Sakura: Stuff he knows.
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Zabuza: What's that? It's hideous!
Kakashi: Well, that's not very nice.
Kakashi: It's just Naruto.
Gai: We're shinobi! We bring joy to people's lives!
Kakashi: Yeah but we don't do it for free. We get paid handsomely much higher than the average professional.
Sakura: Where's Sarada?
Sasuke: She went out.
Sakura: She's grounded.
Sasuke: Are they not suppose to be let out when they're grounded?
Sasori: And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about everyone in Akatsuki.
Deidara: What does it say about me?
Sasori, lying: You're not in it.
Deidara: Those bitches!
Shikamaru: Ahh... rat in the house!
Temari: That's not a rat, that's my weasel.
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Konohamaru: Naruto, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.
Naruto: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?
Konohamaru: Nii-chan, no. This is serious. I just sharted.
Naruto: I don't know what that means.
Konohamaru: I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.
Naruto: You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life.
Asuma: Chouji, how much you eat when you are hungry?
Chouji: Just a few plates
Ino, yelling from a distance: Tell the truth, Chouji!
Chouji: I eat a whole pot when I'm hungry