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how to actually talk to people (without wanting to vanish into the void)
so you wanna strike up a conversation with that cool coworker, the neighbor you always see at the mailbox, or the person at the cafĂŠ reading your favorite bookâbut your brain goes âABORT MISSIONâ the second you try. Same. Such a loser right (not you me)...
I found this amazing article by conversation researcher michael yeomans that breaks down how to stop overthinking and just⌠talk to humans. hereâs the gist:
⨠stop waiting for the ~perfect moment
newsflash: it doesnât exist. most people are way more open to chatting than you think (weâre all just pretending weâre not awkward).
⨠look for low-key clues
their tote bag, their book, their âi survived my vacationâ t-shirtâall golden opportunities to say something like âoh hey, i love that author!â or âwhere was the vacation from hell?â (ok maybe phrase it nicer).
⨠share TWO things about yourself
instead of just âiâm from seattleâ, try âiâm from seattle, but i miss the pizza from nyc.â now they can pick which thread to pull. galaxy brain move.
⨠ask questions that donât sound like a job interview
swap âwhat do you do?â for âwhatâs something youâre obsessed with lately?â or âwhatâs the best part of your day so far?â (bonus points if you actually listen to their answer.)
⨠avoid the âboomerask"
donât be that person who asks âdo you like living here?â just so you can rant about your landlord. let the conversation breathe.
full article here:
It can be awkward at first, but there are specific methods you can use to spark an enjoyable chat with just about anyone
~~ talking to strangers is less scary when you realize everyoneâs just a little bit feral and lonely. go forth and say the thing.