Giving Him Control Pt. 17
A/N: The contract between a Dom and a Sub can be vital to prevent any misunderstandings or complications in the relationship. It can be negotiable, and can include whatever is agreed upon between both parties.
Characters: Ravi x Reader
Warnings: Lots and Lots of angst, major character injury, misscarriage, just saddness galore (I’m sorry, but if you know me, you know this is sy style)
You spent the next week relaxing and enjoying time with your friends and your family. You parents were concerned of course about you being pregnant and unmarried, but you told them that everything was going to work out for the best. You hid the heartache that surfaced when you thought about that not being true, that maybe during this time he wouldn’t want to stay with you in the end. Ravi took the time to think about how this would change not only his life but yours as well. You were both still fairly young, a lifetime of things yet to happen. Would bringing a child into the world keep you and him locked down? Would he end up regretting being with you and the baby? His head told him one thing, but his heart told him that none of it mattered. He was in love with you, and he knew he could come to love this child in the same way. By the second week, he was going stir crazy, wanting to call you and tell you that it was time for you to come home to him.
By Wednesday night he hadn’t received a text or call from you. He promised not to worry since you told him you were going to be traveling to see family the first half of the week. He was worried about you, worried that you were taking care of yourself and the baby. By Thursday morning he had had enough. He cancelled all his meetings and packed an overnight bag. He was going to get you and bring you back where you belonged. Opening the front door, he was met with a layer of freshly fallen snow that covered the driveway in a blanket of white. Sighing heavily, he trudged his way to the jeep, Turning the heat up and putting his bags in the back seat. Ten minutes later he was on his way. Having procured your friend’s address, he set the GPS and headed out. Every few minutes he would check his phone for any messages, disappointed when you still hadn’t contacted him.
Turning off the main highway, he pulled onto a small back road, the GPS telling him he was about thirty minutes away. The chirping of his phone drew his attention away from the road, his eyes glancing at the screen to see your name in bold pop up. Swiping to look at the message, he peered at the road quickly. He turned his attention back to the phone, smiling when he read your message.
Putting the phone in the passenger seat, he looked up a second too late. He saw a car a few feet ahead of him in the opposite lane, hit a patch of black ice. In slow motion, time passed before him. The car came careening head on into his lane, and he was unable to react in time. The last thing he heard was his own voice calling out your name.
You held your phone in your hand, anxiously awaiting his answer. As time passed, you became more and more nervous at his lack of response. You father entered the dining room, his face creased in lines of worry.
“Y/N, what kind of car does your boyfriend drive?” he sat down beside you.
“Umm, he has a Bentley, a Jag, and a Jeep, why do you ask?” You turned to face your father head on, crazy thoughts immediately filling your head.
“What color is the Jeep?” You stared at him, your mind reeling to find the answer to his question.
“It-It’s a royal blue one. Dad, why are you asking me these questions? Dad, what’s happened?” your panic rose to terrifying heights as his face fell.
“I just got a call about an accident fifteen minutes away, a blue Jeep was hit head on by another car. It was heading this way. Y/N, I think it may be Ravi.” suddenly your stomach dropped, nausea consuming you.
“No. It’s not him, he would tell me if he was coming to get me. He would of called me, dad. He would let me know!” Tears were streaming down your face at the idea of Ravi being hurt because of you.
“Where was the accident?” You stood up, grabbing your keys as you headed for the front door.
“Y/N, you can’t drive in the weather, there’s black ice. Let me take you. They said they were still working the accident. I was on my way to help when I heard about the car.” Your dad knew that if you had your mind set on something, there was no changing it. If you wanted to be there, then you would find a way to be there. You hopped in your dad’s four-wheel drive SUV, making your way to the scene of the accident. You made it to the scene in twenty minutes, the wreckage sending your heart into overdrive. There were a total of three vehicles, one a royal blue Jeep and the other two sedans. Your eyes focused in on the Jeep. The first responders were using the Jaws of Life to peel off the driver side door, a limp body hunched over the steering wheel lifeless and unmoving.
You wanted to tell whoever was screaming to stop, that was until you realized the siren pitched scream was coming from your own lungs.
“No! No! No! Ravi! God please no! Don’t let it be him! Ravi!” Your lungs burned as you ran to the scene before you. They had just pulled the door off when you came up beside it. His arm was at his side, swaying from the movement of the jeep as they worked quickly to get him freed. Blood was trickling down his face, falling in a pool on his lap. The engine was practically sitting in his lap, his legs caught underneath. You watched in horror as they laid the seat back, cradling his head to keep it from moving. You couldn’t tell if his chest was moving, but when they started CPR, you knew he wasn’t.
“How long has he been like this? When did he stop breathing? When!” you were yelling at the rescue workers. One of them came up to you, putting their hands on your shoulders.
“He just stopped breathing. He went into shock, now please step back, they need the space to get him free.” the young woman took your hand, walking you back a few feet. Numbed from what you were seeing, you let her lead you away before your will kicked in. Wrenching your arm from her grasp, you ran to the passenger side of his vehicle.
“You son of a bitch! You cannot leave me like this! You can’t leave me! Dammit Ravi!” Two strong arms engulfed you, lifting you off the ground and carrying you away. You father held you close as you cried and fought his hold on you.
“We’ve got a pulse. Hurry up and get him out, we can’t lose him again.” Your head snapped up at the voice. You turned in your dad’s arms gripping his hand as you both watched them working to get his legs freed from under the engine. It took what seemed like an eternity to get him out, but you exhaled the air in your lungs as you watched them place his limp body on a stretcher. You were let go and your feet carried you to his side. You told them who you were and the EMT let you ride in the ambulance with him. You sat back, your body shaking from both fear and cold as they continued to stabilize him until they got to the hospital. You ran beside him until they wouldn’t let you go any further. You stood, frozen in place as you watched the doors close in front of you. You couldn’t move, you didn’t want to move. You were afraid that if you turned your back, he would be gone. In the distance you heard your friend calling your name, your mother’s voice mixed in the haze.
“Y/N, you need to come sit down.” Haeri whispered in you ear. You turned to look at her, but your eyes were vacant, empty. You felt gentle hands guiding you to a chair, helping you sit down, then wrapping you in a warm embrace.
“He’ll be fine, Y/N. He’s going to be fine.” your mother cooed into your ear. You wanted to believe her, but what you saw had you believing otherwise. The only thing you could see was his lifeless body hanging in the balance, slumped over the steering wheel. Minutes passed into hours, everyone that was gathered with you trying to get you to eat and drink. You quietly refused, not wanting to leave the waiting room in case they came out to talk to you. Noon passed into evening before someone came out and called your name. You looked up through wet lashes to see a young man standing with blood on his scrubs from top to bottom. You knew instantly that he was coming to tell you that he was gone. The man you loved was gone from you and your baby’s life in a split second of time.
“Ms. Y/N?” His eyes scanned the room, settling on you as you rose from your seat.
“That’s me.” you barely got out as you walked to him, every step felt like you were treading through quicksand and you were sinking.
“He’s in surgery right now. We aren’t sure of the extent of his injuries, but I can tell you he is walking a fine line right now. The next twenty-four hours are the most critical. Once he is out of surgery he will be going to the ICU. We will send someone to get you when we are finished." You thanked the man and went back to your seat. You relayed the message to everyone, relief washing over you that he was still with you.
Morning light was just breaking when a young nurse came to tell you that he was out of surgery and was on his way to his room. Your friends and parents made their way up to the ICU waiting room with you. You were brought a blanket, and you stretched your aching limbs out on the couch. Your head was resting on Haeri’s lap while you mother had your feet on her lap. Just as your eyes were closing, you heard a deep voice calling your name. When you rose up to a sitting position, the man made his way over to you.
“Hello, Ms. Y/N? I’m Doctor Lee, I will be taking over the care of Mr. Kim. I just wanted to update you on his condition and answer any questions you might have. Mr. Kim came in with several broken bones, a skull fracture that has caused some swelling of the brain, a punctured lung, and an abrasion to his liver. We have repaired as many bones as we possibly could right now, repaired his liver and lung wounds, and we placed a shunt to relieve the pressure in his skull. I'm going to be completely honest with you, the next twenty-four hours are going to be touch and go. If he survives, we will re-evaluate his condition. Do you have any questions?” he looked at you with sad eyes. The only thing you felt was your soul leaving your body.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to see him, he is unrecognizable in his current state.” The doctor said in a flat tone.
“I don’t care. I want to see him. I need to see him. We need to see him.” You hand covered your stomach and the doctor looked down. His expression softened at the knowledge that you were pregnant with Ravi’s child and he nodded.
“The next visiting hours are in ten minutes, you can go see him then. But please do not stay very long. He is in a medically induced coma to assist with the brain swelling. He can still hear you, but we need to keep him as calm as possible.” You nodded back at him, promising to stay for just a moment.
Time passed, the seconds ticking by too slow for your liking. At last the announcement came for visiting time and you were on your feet in a flash of movement. You held your breath as you came to his room, preparing yourself for what you might see, but you could never prepare yourself for what awaited you. The doctor was right, he was unrecognizable. His head was wrapped in a bandage with a long tube sticking out to the side. He had metal contraptions on both legs, holding his bones in place. There were tubes poking out from his sides and all kinds of wires and tubing attached to his chest and arms. He looked almost robotic, no sign of life present as he laid still as a statue in the bed. You reached for his hand which was cold and unmoving. You wrapped your fingers around his rubbing small circles into the cool flesh with your thumb.
“You idiot. Why didn’t you wait for me? All you had to do was wait. Look at you now. You can’t leave me, Ravi. We need you. I don’t even care what you decided, I was willing to make it work. So you can’t pull out on us now, you have to be here for me. I can’t do this on my own, I can’t do this without you.” Your head fell onto the covers, your tears soaking through the lightweight blanket that covered him.
“I hate you Kim Wonshik! I hate you for trying to leave me alone like this. Don’t you dare, don’t you dare leave me to bring this child into the world without its father, I will never forgive you if you do.” All you got in response was the steady beeping on the monitors, the whirl of the ventilator that was keeping him breathing, and the solitary tick of the clock on the wall. Regaining your composure, you rose up, leaned over the bed rail and kissed his bandaged head.
“I love you, and I’ll see you in a bit.” You walked out, running into your mother’s arms as she held you while you cried. By the next afternoon, your parents and Haeri took turns staying with you at the hospital. Each one took their turn on bringing you food and making sure you eat enough to stay healthy. While you were in his room for the evening visit, the doctor came in to check on his status. He checked his reflexes, inspected the external fixators, and checked the head injury.
“His vitals are stable, and there has been no extra swelling. That is a good sign, Ms. Y/N. We will keep him under for a few days just to be sure, but hopefully by the beginning of next week we can wean him off and see how he does.” You grabbed his hand making him stop in his tracks.
“Doctor Lee, what are his chances of coming back as himself? Or even with minimal permanent brain injury?” you gripped his fingers tightly, ready for the worst case scenerio.
“It really is up to him at this point. It depends on how much of a fighter he is. He has something worth fighting for, so hopefully he will find his way back. He smiled at you, even though it was a wary smile, and left you alone with Ravi. Turning back to his bed, you took his hand in yours.
“You hear that? You have something worth fighting for waiting for you to come back to us. I miss you so much, Ravi. please come back to us. We need you.” You did your little ritual of kissing his head and caressing his cheek before you left.
You slept when you could, ate when you were made to, and only left long enough to take a shower and come back. The waiting room had become your home as you waited for the day that they would wean Ravi from his coma. All you wanted to do was see his beautiful eyes again, see him smile at you the way he used to, And to hear him say your name again. The reality was though, that none or only part of that might happen. He may not remember you, he may not want you around him. But you had to take the risk, you had to see if you would be able to salvage anything you had with him. He was worth it, every bit of it.
Monday came not soon enough, and you were waiting for Dr. Lee to arrive. You had convinced the ICU nurse to let you stay until he came. You were laying in the lounge chair, your head on the covers and Ravi’s hand in yours when he arrived.
“Morning Ms. Y/N, how are we doing today?”
“A bit nervous, honestly. I am curious to see how things go today. I’m ready to have him back with the living, if you know what I mean.” you gave a weak laugh, thankful that he did so too.
“Well, I’m going to slowly start decreasing the medications. If he tolerates it okay, then we will continue. It may take all day, or we may have to go back a step or two. It all depends on how he does. The last X-rays and scans show him healing up very good internally. His brain has reduced in size to near normal, so let’s take a deep breath and see what happens, okay?”
You thanked him, them sat back down. A few minutes later, the nurse came in, gave you a smile and nod, then punched in the new doses of his IV medicines.
“It may take a while, why don't you go grab some lunch? Will let you know if anything changes before you get back.”
You hated the thought of leaving him, but she was right. You reach into your bag, taking the now worn picture of your baby and placing it in his hand.
“Something to remind you of what’s waiting for you.” with a kiss and a touch you were heading out the door. Calling your parents, they convinced you to come home and rest, promising to take you back later that day. The sun was bright in your eyes as you stepped outside for the first time in a few days. The cold air nipped at your cheeks and you pulled Ravi’s tattered jacket around your body. His scent still lingered on the fabric and it fills your nostrils. Arriving at your parents’ house, you showered and changed clothes, pulling his sweater from the bag the hospital had given you. You relished the warmth it gave you, making you feel safe and secure as it covered you. You ate a bowl of homemade soup and drank some tea as you told them what was going on today.
“I feel guilty leaving him there. I want to be there when he wakes up, just in case.” you told them, worry tugging at you.
“Rest for a bit, if he wakes up they’ll call you.” Your dad held your hand, offering the only comfort he knew to give you. Hours passed as you slept on your bed, images of him in the wreckage filling your dreams. You woke with a start, a sharp pain stabbing in your lower gut. You screamed for your mother, who came running into your room. You were doubled over, your arms wrapped around your waist as you rocked back and forth. Your dad gathered you up, placing you in the passenger seat of the car as she rushed you to the same hospital Ravi was in. Lying on an exam table, an ultrasound tech was swiping the wand over your belly, the pains coming and going in waves. A woman doctor came into the room, asking your mother questions as you were examined. Two hours later you were getting the news you didn’t want to hear.
“Ms/ Y/N, I’m sorry.” You sat on the table, mind and body numb to the news you had received. You were losing your baby, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. Denial set in as you argued with the doctor.
“It’s not possible. My baby was fine. I- I don’t-” You mother wrapped you in a hug, rocking you like she used to when you were a little girl.
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