From Devjit's Desk

A new month ..A new set of expectations..A new set pf vulnerabilities..Last month had its highs but was extremely painful..and stressful..

The planets suggested that things are going to be fine .. Did have a consultation yesterday..just to calm my mind..yes did get some relief..

And end of the did get a message from Stephan ...What a relief.. A breather and then the execution begins...

Was in ISW for a session.Enjoyed taking classes..Think will get some for BZ team.

Gratitude to the Supreme for being with me..

Just returned from a late night show of Avatar at Quest Mall near Park Circus. Another week passed and another starting. If today is the indication starting with a set of uncertainty. While the path is clear the journey seems complex and uncertain. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Need to spend more time on Buri. Things sees to be going out of control.

After a turbulent morning was out with them first to meet Buris new tution teacher and the to Quest mall.

At least the positive feeling.

A day without any agenda. Provocations continued but responded today. Didnt do any deep work today..Some net research. Decided to go to office to ne by myself .

Have decided to participate in some salons. Made a list for March. Will work on some work from Archive for the same. Would like to work on the Salons.

Bit of addictions with Shark Tanks. Quite a bit of learning with every episode.

Another bad start of the day. Couldn't respond to the provocations and left the scene. Reached office as usual after a one hour wait in the lobby. Saving grace , a productive day at office. Managed to do some deep work even though mind and heart not in sync.

Overall a stressful day. Once again the mind is not in sync with heart. Provocations to react since morning. Balancing between React and Response.

Had planned to be at home to attend to Buri for her exams. But left for office at 4. Had that suffocating feeling.

Bhasa Diwas today. Remembered Sadeq and days in Bangladesh. Had forgotten to thank for the Birthday wishes. Wished him for the day.

Also my first recognition in a photo competition. God a message from Heilography. Not sure

whether it has been selected for the exhibition or not..but certainly this much is enough.

Gratitude...

At times the heart and mind is not at sync. They run in two different directions. At such times it is very difficult to be 'in the present moment ' . With all power even if you manage to tame the mind, the heart sometimes doesn't respond. Inspite of best of intentions one is not fully present...

The wait for the fund continues. Pressure is mounting. Too many commitments and affecting business and home.

But the HOPE remains. Cant let that go.

Last few weeks have been following various episodes of the famous program Shark Tanks. Could relate with the stories due to my own journey in the last few years. The short and crisp presentations makes it easy and fun.

Learnings from the various episodes.

1. Business and Service are different.

2. Business is about scale. Services can run upto a certain point and may be profitable.

3. Promotion and Marketing are integral part of your business. In the initial stages it can go more than 25%.

4. Identify the differentiator. Nothing wrong with an existing services. What is the difference.

5. Branding is extremely important.

6. Scalability can only come thru extensive usage of technology.

7. Usage of social media to its max potential is a must. Create content for the same.

8. Save equity. Dont give it away.

9. Be aware of some basic numbers.

Im the Birthday boy today. Can understand the difference. Know more in people's mind now..Perhaps too busy with myself. Got a card from Buri ..hand made ..A cake at office..But something is wrong ..The heart is not at peace.

Need to act !! Give unconditionally.

The deal didn't come thru. On hand bit of uncertainity as few weeks to manage creating tensions among the team members. On the other hand bit of assurance that there is something which will come thru. However the sleepless nights continue.

Had a different day yesterday, where I attended a BNI session on invitation of Ankush Agarwak. Need to be a part of these formal/informal networks. In the afternoon ISW session. The existing projects are not going well and need to address the relationship urgently. Issue remains with the orientation of the team where everything is handled in a transactional manner. We need to work in the relationships.

In betweeen had to be with BURI for her lessons. Not sure of her preparation. Bit of neglect.

The day was different.Stephan landed yesterday for a visit. Today early morning travelled to Siliguri on a Spicejet flight with Stephan and Barun. Bidyut and Sujoy arranged a Press Conference which I and Stephan addressed.

Went of well. Monotony brocken , break from routine . Bit stressed though.

Some initial glimpse.

Things are becoming clear at the work front. Things are not going to work out with the existing team and structure. The real bottleneck is the incompetencies of the team and perhaps the long struggle has taken its toll. While do feel responsible but somewhere I feel now thier inability to be in control of their own life is creating a burden on the system.

Provide a exit route to the existing directors

Create a new platform for new projects

Let the existing platform do some routine things and engage the existing guys in the rourtine work.

Network heavily and work with new guys.

The restructuring to start.

A new day, A new set of complexities, A new set of Challenges ..At crossroads, still trying to figure out. The affirmations of "Living with Dignity" is a necessity and increasingly becoming difficult.

Understanding the true meaning of "Dignity' now how importance that is. Takes years to create that TRUST and ..ooff ..it is gone in seconds..Ignorance, non communication ,silence all just creating a sheild to have a 'Dignified respectful life'.

Need to build that once again ..but how ?? Figuring out ..the first step is of course 'Unconditional Giving'' and at least respind to their immediate needs...

One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered. Michael J. Fox

Can't surrender at this point.

Today apart from Republic Day, was Basant Panchami and after couple of years had Puja @ HOME. Was bit apprehensive as always and with least expectaton ..just was there. Went of peacefully. Bit concerned about Rini and it was all about her.

May GOD bless her.

Bit bowled out by the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh on Mindfullness. Regret not following him earlier.

Picket up from some article on 16 exercises for Mindfulness.

1. Breathing in a long breath, I know I am breathing in a long breath. Breathing out a long breath, I know I am breathing out a long breath.

2. Breathing in a short breath, I know I am breathing in a short breath. Breathing out a short breath, I know I am breathing out a short breath.

3. Breathing in, I am aware of my whole body. Breathing out, I am aware of my whole body.

4. Breathing in, I calm my whole body. Breathing out, I calm my whole body.

5. Breathing in, I feel joyful. Breathing out, I feel joyful.

6. Breathing in, I feel happy. Breathing out, I feel happy.

7. Breathing in, I am aware of my mental formations. Breathing out, I am aware of my mental formations.

8. Breathing in, I calm my mental formations. Breathing out, I calm my mental formations.

9. Breathing in, I am aware of my mind. Breathing out, I am aware of my mind.

10. Breathing in, I make my mind happy. Breathing out, I make my mind happy.

11. Breathing in, I concentrate my mind. Breathing out, I concentrate my mind.

12. Breathing in, I liberate my mind. Breathing out, I liberate my mind.

13. Breathing in, I observe the impermanent nature of all dharmas. Breathing out, I observe the impermanent nature of all dharmas.

14. Breathing in, I observe the disappearance of desire. Breathing out, I observe the disappearance of desire.

15. Breathing in, I observe cessation. Breathing out, I observe cessation.

In the current frame of mind ..some readings give solace and home. Read in the TOI speaking tree today..

Happiness is available. Please help yourself to it. All of us have the capacity of transforming neutral feelings into pleasant feelings, very pleasant feelings that can last a long time. This is what we practise during sitting and walking meditation. If you are happy, all of us will profit from it. Society will profit from it. All living beings will profit from it.

On the wooden board outside of the meditation hall in Zen monasteries, there is a four-line inscription. The last line is, ‘Don’t waste your life.’ Our lives are made of days and hours, and each hour is precious. Have we wasted our hours and our days?

Are we wasting our lives? These are important questions.

- Thich Nhat Hanh