love is my message

shoutout to boring queer people who don’t do shit. just go to work or school and then come home to watch shows. while gay

I know this might make people mad, but absolutely refusing to even attempt to treat your mental illness, and instead just endlessly inflicting your unmitigated episodes on the people around you, is abusive. Your loved ones are not stress toys that you can just squeeze every time you feel bad. It is bad if someone says your repeated behavior is hurting them, and you take no steps to change. I know damn well that you can’t always help how your brain acts, but I’ve also spent a lot of years trying to stop my spiraling brain in its tracks, work on strategies to calm down, and consider the impact I’m having on others, because I grew up in a household with people who have the attitude of, “I have the right to consume all the attention in the house and drain your energy every single day because I feel miserable, and you’re the bad guy if you say that I’m making you feel bad and that I need to get help. I can treat you however I want because of my anxiety.”

staying up until 1am with your friends is like. wow we’re so fucking cool we’re so fucking badass we should go on a road trip or become famous or maybe hang out here forever because i dont wanna be anywhere that isnt with you guys im so full of love and joy and a live fast die young mentality. and staying up until 1am by yourself is like. for the third time this year i am genuinely contemplating suicide. good thing i dont have the executive function to clean up my room

i pull out my handgun and shoot myself in the head and the bullet flies cleanly through the hole that was already there from when i shot myself in the head last week