do you believe in god

you wouldn't happen to be one of them kids down the streets thats been eating my tomatoes would ya

im such a spherical little armadillo. i could roll right into your house. wee wee wee all the way home baby

Rememberr: Ray William JOhnson Loves You

I have been knighted Jedi Knight of the republic of Sudan

It's been ten years since my Uncle Larry publicly humiliated me for drinking too much Sunny Delight. Pardon me for staying hydrated I guess

Hello My Nefarious Poops

ray

I'm the Handy Man. I Man your Handies

recycle me with the cap on, ba-by (>ω<〃)～♡

embalm me baby

My Apprentice, Darth Lawrence, has forgotten to cancel the company Amazon Prime account this week. You Know What That Means!

come on down to the Gary, Indiana Supper convention. where are your fingers? three

Good evening. I cannot find my unpaid intern. Lars your lunch is talking to me from the work fridge, if you're reading this I have put it in charge of posting until you come back.