Majima’s Ass Enjoyer

gnome found dead during record breaking summer heat after caramel in his pocket melts and leaves him glued to the sidewalk

right now on earth there’s a kindly old stray tomcat who just got adopted and he’s receiving enough food to fill his belly for the first time in his entire life and he’s so so so happy and he doesn’t even know that it’s going to be like this forever :)

what do you mean i haven’t reached out to you i literally manifest you in the fake scenarios i create in my head each night before i fall asleep

i love having adult horse girl friends. I’ll send them a 100x100px crunchy ass jpeg of a random brown horse and be like “thought of u🐴” and I can literally feel their sims relationship bar fill up in real time

at dinner people were talking about how much they cried during their weddings and my one cousin said she was SO determined not to cry, made it through the entire ceremony, but then during the reception her husband leaned over and asked 'hey, do you want me to get together a plate of roast beef and hide it in our room so we can have Night Meats?' and she went 'night meats?' and started sobbing because that was so romantic to her

it’s always the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, but never the Irritating Ordeal of Being Known

we need positivity posts for people who suck at shuffling cards