I’ve been unemployed since the end of July. My transition after I moved went a lot rougher than expected. The deal my work and I made because we both didn’t want to loose each other was I work from home 3 days a week, and we were good for awhile. Then all of a sudden they didn’t want me doing that and I was stuck making the long commute everyday (which I did for awhile) but then it turned into living with my parents again during the week to go home during the weekend because I couldn’t afford gas anymore. The commute was also slowly killing me. I had to be on the road by 5am and would return 12hrs later. And reverting back to how it was before I moved and only seeing my girlfriend again during weekends was also killing me.

They beat down my soul at work, I felt betrayed because this wasn’t the deal we all worked out. Then when my review came around my “raise” felt like a slap in the face. Every penny went to gas so it didn’t feel like a raise. Needless to say I wasn’t happy to be there anymore BUT I did my job. I didn’t “quietly quit” or anything. I did all of what was asked of me. Then I got assigned a new unorganized manager and suddenly I wasn’t doing enough because I wasn’t asking for more work? This manager arrived 2 hours later than I did and would refuse to talk to anyone for another 1-2 hours because they had to play catch up on their own work and it was somehow my fault I couldn’t finish a task in the same day they assigned it because they assigned it after lunch.

I was singled out and set up for failure all because I decided to move in with my long term girlfriend and her child (the main reason she couldn’t move to my area). So I was fired, I said my peace though, called them out for unfair behavior…

And now looking back and how much I’ve struggled since then I think I would’ve took it all back… I didn’t realize how bad the job market was. And the weird thing is I’ve had amazing interviews, but never any call backs. I’m finally up for 2 jobs, school district and county… I’m hoping so badly I get them because I hate not being able to pull my fair share financially. It’s eating my savings, I’m thankful I had some but it was supposed to be a down payment on a home. Not this.

I was sooo depressed my last year of working at that job but now I’m a different type of depressed being unemployed. It was fun for like 2 weeks then the real world was like “hahaha sike”

It’s been a rough second half of the year, but it has made me realize how much I have. I’m spending more time with my mom (who hasn’t been in the best health), I’m taking care of the home, we adopted a dog, and my girlfriend has been my biggest supporter. I am so incredibly lucky that I have her, this rough patch in my life has made me realize that I’m going to marry her. I’m proposing on our anniversary in fact 12.31 so I will officially be engaged next year and that’s crazy to think about.

“I hope you’ll see me one day and see who I’ve become. I hope regret steals your breath.”