i'm not okay

Ephraim sat down and he felt like a kid again. His first memory was the both of them being so small to the point where his brother could barely hold him. They'd both been kids then, but Rawlins was always pretty scrawny. The way they had grown up didn't much help that either. It really hadn't been until the Eye where they had felt some semblance of comfort or peace in their lives. They had stopped waiting for a mother that would never come by that point. Or Rawlins had at least. He hadn't known her well enough to even become attached anyway. But still, the Eye had given him some hope that everything would be okay. Until they didn't. They had pulled him apart and tried to put him back together again. Just like these gods had done. It seemed he would always be exploited for just being what he was. Maybe it was best for him to just get used to that. "Okay." He turned his head to look at Ephraim. "I can't stop you from trying." He paused. "I wouldn't try to either. I just...I really just need my brother right now. I just...I don't..." He tried to take a breath. "I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be...this."

Atticus had shown him that try as he might, Ephraim couldn't protect everyone. Bad things were still going to happen to the people he cared about and Rawlins was the person that the former Overseer cared about more than anything. Ephraim still didn't really know what he was going to do with his life, what he was if he wasn't the jackbooted hunter of the supernatural. That life was the only life he'd known, it was the only thing he'd ever truly been passionate about, and now with all the freedom of the open world in front of him he just felt paralyzed. Frozen in the face of all the horror that his brother had been made to endure, and tormented by the fact that of all the things Rawlins had been made to face, Ephraim had been one of them.

There wasn't really anything for Ephraim to say, what could he? Rawlins hadn't exactly had the ideal well... Anything. Experimented on, tortured, and then who the fuck knew what else. Rawlins was a basketcase and Ephraim didn't have any of the tools that could help, not that there really was much that could be done. He'd heard the senate was doing what they could that they had... Witches or healers or something, but he wasn't going to suggest that in Rawlins' condition. So he just sat there instead and rubbed at the back of his neck before his hand settled on his leg. Content to not go anywhere, he was fine right here if his brother would have him. "Yeah." The legacy of how terrible he was at this just continued, Ephraim's hand moved to the back of his head as he smoothed already smoothed down hair. "But I still want to try."

Ephraim sat down and he felt like a kid again. His first memory was the both of them being so small to the point where his brother could barely hold him. They'd both been kids then, but Rawlins was always pretty scrawny. The way they had grown up didn't much help that either. It really hadn't been until the Eye where they had felt some semblance of comfort or peace in their lives. They had stopped waiting for a mother that would never come by that point. Or Rawlins had at least. He hadn't known her well enough to even become attached anyway. But still, the Eye had given him some hope that everything would be okay. Until they didn't. They had pulled him apart and tried to put him back together again. Just like these gods had done. It seemed he would always be exploited for just being what he was. Maybe it was best for him to just get used to that. "Okay." He turned his head to look at Ephraim. "I can't stop you from trying." He paused. "I wouldn't try to either. I just...I really just need my brother right now. I just...I don't..." He tried to take a breath. "I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be...this."

Shit, the words had definitely hit home. It had never been unusual for Rawlins to clock Kayce with an insult or two. Usually it related to how much of an idiot he was, or had been, or likely would be. Sometimes they were directed at the fact that he seemed to always be dirty. Even after he'd taken a shower, or bath. Or was just sprayed with a hose by Sümeyye. This one, however, had felt a little too personal. His free hand rubbed at his chest, even as the idiotic grin slipped onto his lips. The war had messed with all of them, and Kayce wouldn't hold anything against Rawlins. Not not, and certainly not ever. So he followed the other into his home, set the bag down on the nearest surface, and listened to the line of questioning. It wasn't often that he found himself at Rawlins' place, despite how he claimed the other as his best friend. Aside from Alek, the other was damn near the closest thing Kayce may have to family those days. "Yeah, I mean...," having a possible heart to heart was almost the last thing he ever wanted to do. "This whole war and time fucking resetting has got everyone messed up. Just wanted to make sure you were alright." And to say that Rawlins didn't need to worry about the shop, but Kayce hadn't quite figured out how to voice that one just yet.

Maybe Rawlins should have taken it easy on Kayce, but he was upset about a lot right now. Taking it out on people that hadn't done it to him was still something he was working on. Eventually, he'd be a nicer person about the shit he went through. Until then, others would just have to deal with everything he threw their way. And, unfortunately, Kayce was all too comfortable with letting the cambion talk to him any damn way he pleased. Maybe it was because of that dreaded friendship that they had even though the other was his boss. Still, he'd let the lycan in and now they had to somewhat hang out or else it looked weird if he kicked him out now. "Alright." He nodded his head as he looked up at Kayce. "You can sit down, you know. That metal won't bite unless I make it."