s a r c a s m

Funny. 

How so? I work there.

I’d love to learn

Great. Be sure to stop at the Ostroff some time. We can go from there.

Care to teach me your ways?

Sure, but it's not for the lighthearted. Blood and gore have nothing on my ways. They're a little unconventional.

Appropriate language and good behavior has gotten me beaten up my entire life

I never said good behaviour. Trust me, bad behaviour goes a very long way, but it needs to be paired classically. Black suit and tie, a good smirk and tidy words.

Lucky you bro. I’ve been here for fifteen minutes. Kinda pissed.

It's all about the right people in this town, maybe you should meet them and I don't know use appropriate language. Bro.

I.. sorry. Dumb barista hasn’t gotten my order yet.

It's kind of not my problem. I know the owner, quite well actually -- reciprocal arrangements and all. They know not to disappoint.

You can step aside, my coffee order's up.

Actually, I really don’t. To be quite frank, I beg to differ. See, I think there’s a little bit more to us than just a couple of acid snarky retorts. Perhaps we’re more gifted than you know.. the Sparks half of the family. Even with all the mistakes we do, we still matter more than all of you put together. It’s funny.

Don't you get it? You matter for all the wrong reasons. And the good reasons are due to your parents. You're what? A heroin... Ice? Addicted junior with an attitude problem. Charlotte's a little bit of a sociopath with disociative tendencies. Breanna's an anorexic drug addict that also happens to be a nutcase, Clarke's gay, Samara's in what I'm sure is some heroin filled alternate universe where imaginary friends exist, Marissa although my best friend is still a criminal and Henry is a narcisitic bitch. Can we see a pattern? Or shall I send Gossip Girl my theories? I mean your world still revolves around what that anonymous blogger types behind her screen right? As I like to say... Checkmate.

You know what? I’m going to leave it at that and escort myself out.

Never any fun. You young Bass's always did become such a disapointment; killers, addicts, anorexics, sociopaths. I can't wait to see the offspring, I'm thinking American Horror Story meets Dexter. Don't you think?

Nope, not really. Not at all actually.

Rude. I actually just stopped by to bring you coffee, heard you were in town.

I've already had two swigs of gin, dairy and booze don't mix well. I hear you know all about that... Or your sister. I got a referral for one of you lot.

Oh no, sorry.

Yeah whatever.

"Really, do you have any resolutions?"

"Possibly, but like a wish why would I tell? There's too many people that like things - unresolved."

"Well, don’t we all, but when you get down to it, money is the answer. Anyways, are you enjoying yourself tonight?"

"That and power. But money is power. Very much so. I've always liked the idea of new years."

"Well you clearly have a deep understanding of the animal world Milo." She said jokingly "I just like being informed of the ways of the universe. What’s your excuse?"

"Mine is far simpler, I just wanted to know how to get away with murder." He kept his eyes fixated on her to be sure of her reaction, after all he didn't need her to take the fact seriously and turn him over to the authorities. "But the universe is just as relevant an excuse."

"That would definitely help, but people usually know where along the river the body was deposited." Shrugging monotonously he broguht an armm across his chest, still keeping his eyes fixed on the smaller brunette. "I would say curiosity killed the cat, but I think the cats killing everyone else."