December's Musings

“I know I shouldn’t be mad…” Shane mutters as they sit close together on the couch in the living room of his mansion-cottage. His voice is full of anxiety, but Ilya feels like he’s the one who should be scared. 

“Is okay if you are,” he mumbles, resisting the urge to pull Shane closer, to refuse to let him go.

But Shane scoffs at this, shaking his head a bit. “You didn’t tell her to text you.”

And he didn’t. He didn’t tell the random girl—not even saved as a name, but as a location—from his past to send him a message. But somehow it’d popped the little bubble they’d been living in. Reminded them of the outside world and Ilya’s behavior in it. “But...”

Shane glances at him for only a moment. “It sucks to be reminded. That like…you do this with a lot of other people.”

“Did.” Because yeah, he sucks at tenses in the English language but he can make that one clear. “Not anymore, Shane. And not…in same way.”

This seems to get Shane’s attention. “What, you bottom for them or something?” He says it jokingly but the curiosity burns on his dark eyes.

Ilya snorts. “No. I…I fuck them, yes? I fuck lots of people.”

Shane groans shakily. “Thanks for reminding me.”

But Ilya has to make sure he knows. So he manhandles him, maneuvering his body so they’re face-to-face, TV and phones forgotten. “I fuck them,” he repeats. “But I…” fuck, stupid English. “I do not buy ginger ale for them. I do not make them food. I do not…cuddle in bed after and wish maybe their plane was later. This, I only do for you.”

Shane’s eyes have gone wide, and Ilya decides this is a good thing. “Yeah?”

“Yes. Shane, you are first person I do these things for. Only person. Hopefully…ever,” he murmurs, the desire for a future catching in his throat and making him feel weak. 

And Shane just swallowed, clearly satisfied. “Okay. Yeah,” he breathes, shaking just a little. 

"One of the things in MM romance written by women that I've never— I've always been like, that's not us, is like, fucking— you have to say I love you before you eat an ass. Not true. It happens very quickly. And there was no way I was treating it like some kind of fucking cake he was getting. I was like, they did it the first time they had sex. If Ilya is a good top, he eats his ass in episode two. Like, that's when Shane's legs go behind his ears and that's what Ilya's doing.

I was like, no, no, no, no. This is a part where I'm like, I feel like I have to go forward as a gay man and being, like, enough. We do this on the reg. Everybody likes it. We're doing it here. We don't say— this isn't marriage. This is like, unfortunately, something you do to strangers. So just to be very clear." — Jacob Tierney

“Ah, we don’t need those” Ilya tossed the strip of condoms back onto the bedside drawer.

“What? Are you crazy? Of course we do.” Shane scoffs, giving Ilya the craziest side eye over his shoulder.

“Why? You can get pregnant, Hollander? Through your asshole? Should probably see doctor about that.”

“No, fuck you, Rozanov! For STDs! Don’t know if you remember but you’re a slut, I don’t wanna catch anything.”

“Hollander, I am clean, i sent you test results last week. And besides, I wear condoms with everyone else, bare dick is only for you.” Ilya persuades, trailing sloppy kisses across the back of Shane’s shoulder. Ilya rolls his hips so Shane can feel his bare erection sliding against his asscheeks.

Shane’s eyes flutter shut at the feeling. His brain fights hard against the fog starting so slip around the edges of his mind, but something about ilyas deep accented voice and the fact he could feel his precum rubbing against his ass just made it creep in faster.

“You think I would put you in danger, Hollander?” Ilya asks, suddenly soft in a way that surprised Shane.

Shane takes a moment to look at Ilya directly in his eyes. “No.” He states.

“No.” Ilya nods. “Will feel so good, Hollander. I promise, I will take care of you.”

“Okay, rozanov.” Shane whispers.

Ilya smiles down at him, his dimple illuminated by the soft orange light of Shane’s lamp. “Good boy, thank you.” He presses a soft kiss to Shane’s lips, then trails kisses all the way down to Shane’s ass.

Shane lets his brain go fuzzy again as Ilyas tongue slides against his hole.

And then everything is the same except they’re even more insane about each other

sure, if he squints hard enough he can remember the way he liked when things hurt a bit, those times praise lit him up inside. but nothing concrete, not without ilya.

one day, after getting fucked until all the thoughts are gone from his head and coming out of his tongue, spilling out in front of ilya, "you know, sometimes i wonder if you did this to me."

"what, sweetheart?"

"made me like all this. if i'd like all this if you hadn't taught me."

silence

"it's good. i like that i'm custom made for you."

And Din just.

@dinlukeweek day 6: Hiding Injuries / Luke and Din on a Tatooine mission

slightly different reception on tatooine missions than in the rest of the galaxy