she gan off my strog like beef

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

How can you expect me to do my 9-5 when I've got a lot on my mind and well... in it

hi

i’ve like never played a resident evil game and don’t intend to but i still just cannot stop fucking thinking about stupid manthing i’m fuckin ballin tweet

going to get your tubes tied and when ur done ur doctor shows you an ultrasouns and he’s tied them into a perfect baloon dog :)

@archibaldtuttle​

so it’s the month of may huh?…well if you replaced the ‘m’ in may with ‘g’ well…you ‘may’ be surprised at what you find 😏😏

gonth

wait

woah woah ladies, settle down...... (talking to my digestive organs)

can you fucking man up and play toys outside with me