court jester

probably feels good as fuck to retain imformation

im an adult man who lives a cuteness lifestyle

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

not to come on too strong but I've been fantasizing about napping with you ever since we first met

its a dad’s job to make sure his daughter knows how to kiss!!!!!

Me after one cup of coffee : i am beautiful and fast

''are you too stupid to do it on your own?'' STOP giving me a boner

if i was a puppy in the adoption pen at the store and someone was playing with me and then moved to pass me up for another puppy i would threaten suicide to make them feel bad