spending my one wild and precious life online

watching this show is absolutely hysterical because ava literally has 0 game and says shit like "like toy story?" when a hot woman tells her to her face she wants to fuck her and she gets it ANYWAY. truly a masterpiece. ava gives hope to all losers out there.

Nothing has done quite so much damage to my internal vocabulary as the construction #MyNoun. I don't remember if it was from that "tour of my jar, this is my twig #MyTwig" or if it was from "inappropriate attachment to objects, my tuube #MyTuube" but either way it was one of you fuckers on here. I do it every time there's my noun #MyNoun

to go to sleep my husband puts on YouTube videos of this random guy trying to survive in nature and build things out of his surroundings and that’s so shane coded shane puts that shit on and he’s so intrigued and Ilya has to be like no more baby it’s time to sleep and shane is like But I have to know how to build a tent out of logs and branches in case I am stranded in the woods but he’s like falling asleep saying it and Ilya is like sure baby whatever you say and just kisses him on the forehead and turns the tv off cause shane is already unconscious

love my hockey mutuals. occasionally poetry snippets or kafka quotes will cross my dash tagged "san jose sharks" and i have to think well i didn't watch it so who am i to judge. maybe franz kafka did write that about the san jose sharks

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

thank god some sumerian editor wasn't all "gay shit doesn't sell"

Ilya could do the I HEARD YOUR HEARTS DANCING but Lestat could never have done She Would Have Loved You…