eyes lit like the sky

Everybody knows how Enjin can be, it's a trait of him that he's very aware of. Some just call him a careless flirt, sometimes womaniser. It's a strong word yet accurate, chasing women after women that ticks all the boxes of his 'preference'.

It's not likeable, yes. It's not like he cares about what people think of him. Plus, he can't really see himself in a serious relationship because of how busy he is, being in the cleaners is already exhausting on its own, on top of that, he also needs to watch over his team full of teenagers that look up to him. That's triple the work of a normal cleaner. Enjin has alot of work undone, whether it be with himself or his team. He doesn't have any time for romance right now, Enjin has decided that he's not yet worthy being with someone.

Though, Enjin's been acting weird around someone lately. Not weird in a creepy way, it's more like he's not like his usual self when around the new viander. The HQ hired a special chef for the employees of the cleaners, someone who keeps the workers well fed with delicious food.

Despite being nervous in the first weeks of working on your new job, everyone seems to thankfully like you! Just hearing them thank you for the food you cooked made your heart swell with pride. A reminder of the reason why you love what you do.

Enjin seemed to catch onto that. Loving your food was already a given, but he's most attracted to your charm and hardworking nature. Your presence makes him warm, the way you smile and laugh stops his tracks, Enjin would sometimes even get distracted by your pretty face whenever you talk to him, your words going in one ear and out the other.

Surprisingly, Enjin didn't try to use his usual tactics when it came to wooing you. People who witnessed it were shocked yet amused, definitely not used to this Enjin. It's cause he really thinks that you're special, be prepared for his goofy ways of courting because he knows that being overly charming won't get him anywhere near your heart.

It's cheesy, but he gives you beautiful artificial flowers (Rudo's advice) every morning before working on the kitchen, you really love it, but soon you'll have to tell him to get you other things 'cause there's no more space in your room for another bouquet. Enjin would also be the first one to get a plate of your cooking whether it's breakfast, lunch, or dinner. You don't make it obvious but Enjin's shenanigans have already made a toll on your heart.

Enjin would stop at nothing to get you to love him back, rest assured that he'll be doing it the right way. Just for you.

You know that your lover is more than what meets the eye. You've known, actually.

Back then when you first had your little crush with Tamsy, things were sweet and innocent. Just like how you would think love actually is.

At first, Tamsy was genuinely amused. Finding interest on how you would show your love, especially to someone like him. He decided to play along with your little infatuation, even going as far to be in a relationship with you. A little entertainment won't hurt, right? He'll just easily discard you if ever you'd become a distraction to him, to his plans. Just like what he did with the others that came before you.

Or so he thought.

By the time you started to notice the cracks behind Tamsy's soft smile, you were knee-deep into the façade he created. Too far long gone to leave him. (Un)Fortunately, the same goes for Tamsy. You shouldn't have ignored the unsettling feeling under your gut whenever he says that he loves you.

Tamsy does mean it though, he did everything he could've possibly done just to get rid of you, to get rid of his love for you. There's nothing he can do now that you've managed to slither yourself inside of his difficult heart. An irritating snake like you getting in the way of his schemes will pay for it.

And now, laying down his bed, a horrified expression rests at your face. The same face he tried so hard to be disgusted with. Yet, with your eyes filled to the brim with tears, Tamsy thinks that he had never seen a view this breathtaking.

He loves the way you struggle to breathe without moving a muscle, the sharp dagger millimetres on your neck will have to say otherwise. The long strands of his hair continues to fall over the two of you, his whole body caging you as Tamsy leans in closer, making the dagger touch your skin. Your breath hitches.

"Do you still love me, dear?" Tamsy mumbles. The tears on your eyes finally fall, staring back at his empty ones.

A shaky nod answers him. That's all Tamsy needs. He takes the dagger out of your neck before giving a tender kiss to your trembling lips. The way he kissed you was passionate, full of emotions like he did not just threaten to slit your throat seconds ago.

He gets up slightly to get something from his nightstand, Tamsy opens a worn out book with a logo that you've seen before. At this point you've accepted your fate.

Tamsy doesn't really care whether you actually love him or you just nodded to save your life. He loves you, it's all that matters.

You did this to yourself, Tamsy just reciprocated with his own way of loving. From now on, he'll do anything to keep you by his side. He's not treating you as a distraction like he did before, you're now a part of his plans.

"If that's the case then, I love you more, my darling."

The current nineteen years of Follo's life on the ground was spent on pleasing others. Living his whole life worrying about what other people think of him.

He wanted people to perceive him as strong, special— To be like the cool guys he was infuriatingly jealous of. Being a part of the faceless mob didn't faze Follo as he strives to be better everyday, to prove to everyone that even him, a nobody, can be something amazing. That's why he held everything in, keeping his emotions buried underneath the ground to keep him from snapping.

And then there's you, a new talented giver who just got hired to be a part of the cleaners. They called you a prodigy, someone powerful that would be leading the present generation of cleaners. You just got here half a month ago.

Follo didn't bother to talk to you much so he can protect his peace and just do his own thing to evolve. Well, he's nice to you but in a way that when Follo smiles, it never reaches his eyes. But in a particular mission, he got assigned to help you with an emergency. A normal task for a supporter.

It's the first time he sees you in action. And boy, you did live up to the exaggerated praises, Follo watched in awe as you flawlessly struck down every trash beast with ease. He felt odd, Follo didn't sense the bitter disparity in his gut. Something he was supposed to be feeling according to how his head worked.

He knows he shouldn't feel this way, but Follo was kind of relieved when he found out that you have a weakness, specifically in communicating. Unable to fully gather information because of how nervous you'd get around strangers. Like now, you're having a hard time talking to the kid that allegedly saw where the other victims are. At some point the kid started crying, you panicked.

With a sigh, Follo came over to save the day. Unlike you, he's a social person that knows how to properly talk to people. He calmly spoke the kid, trying to stop his sobbing. Follo easily succeeded and managed to know where the rest of the victims are.

After that, the mission ended off flawlessly. Going back to the headquarters, you sat next to Follo inside the van, you tapped his shoulder to get his attention. "Hey, So um... Thanks for what you did back there. It's really cool how you made that kid calm down instantly.." a soft smile plastered on your face, eyes shifting as you shyly thanked Follo. No doubt his face was red the whole ride.

That's the day you fell for him. The same goes for Follo. But in his case he fell hard.

Instead of envying you, Follo made you into his inspiration, his muse. Someone that sees him as special for who he is. He then now strives to be better with you.

Jabber actually didn't like you when the two of you had just first met.

Zodyl recruited you and Jabber as members of the raider's frontline at the same time, both of you were around the same age so it automatically resulted in always being paired with each other on missions.

Your first mission together was just a simple sightseeing on No Man's Land. Observing the trash beasts habitat, it's for Zodyl's experiment you didn't give two shits about.

Jabber on the other hand was vibrating from where he was sitting. Bored out of his mind inside your hiding spot. He groaned dramatically, "This is so lameee, I thought the bossman would give us a crazy first job"

You ignored him and continued to watch over the heap of trash. "Hey, you're new too right?" Jabber scooted closer to you. No response, Jabber pouted "Heyyy" He shakes your shoulder. You shushed him, "Be quiet. They'll hear us"

Jabber raised an eyebrow, "So you're lame too, huh?" He thought he was gonna get a rise out of you from that one but still nothing from your end, still staring ahead blankly. Jabber scoffed.

He'll have to ask Zodyl if he can get him a new buddy when he gets back.

Zodyl didn't approve of Jabber's request, reasoning that: "For now, teamwork will be essential in the raiders. I don't care if something's going on between you two. I've already decided that you'll be partners."

Well that's a bummer, guess he'll have to just suck it up and deal with his lame, boring co-worker.

Jabber didn't think it was possible but his dislike of you grew much larger. You were not only lame, you were infuriating. Preventing him from continuing to fight with a cleaner irked him to the bone, when you explained that he was already bleeding too much and had the risk of dying, Jabber looked at you like you were the crazy one. When you got back, people questioned you on why Jabber had a scowl on his face the whole day.

What he didn't know at that time, is you'd actually caught feelings for him. Romantic feelings.

Jabber on the other hand, pushed you away even more. You had already told him that you liked him and it made his heart beat fast in a way he did not like. Jabber didn't say anything in regards to your confession and just ran away, he felt like tearing up. Jabber likes you back, He just hates the unusual feeling of being loved.

He hates whenever you get soft on him, he gets uncomfortable if you ever tried patching him up after a fight. The only way of loving Jabber knows is through pain, he wants you to hurt him, beat him up til he's gasping for air. Though, his heart clenches whenever you give him attention, he tells you to leave him alone but still looks for you when it gets too quiet. In Jabber's mind, he begged for you to love him in the way he's used to. Silently wanting you, needing you. It just hurts so much, he didn't like this kind of pain.

The two of you had just completed a mission, now under a tunnel to clean up Jabber's wound on his abdomen. He's being quiet about it today, usually he groans and complains, but now he's just silently letting you.

In the amidst silence, Jabber suddenly said under his breath "Please hit me". You stopped and looked up at him, a detached expression was apparent on his face, emotionless eyes staring past you. You never thought that you'd see that kind of look on him.

While wrapping the gauze around Jabber's waist, you reply, "No. I won't do that, especially to someone I like. I've already told you that, didn't I?"

Jabber exhaled shakily, almost sounding like a laugh. Now done with his injury, you stood up and cupped your hands with his face. Jabber now looks at you, he seems in pain but not because of the huge gash on his body.

You leaned your face closer to his, noses barely touching. "...When are you gonna let me in?" you whispered out. Jabber's eyes widened, hands grabbed your collar tightly to ground himself before crashing his lips with yours. Something he's been wanting to do for almost years now. His teeth caught your lower lip, biting down harshly, reminding you of how Jabber expresses affection, reminding you of how lethal he can be. But instead of pulling out or responding to the pain, you pulled himself closer to you. Jabber instantly broke, finally letting his messy emotions catch up to him.

At this moment, Jabber swore to himself that he'll never run away from his feelings— from you ever again, even if it costs having to taste your blood in his mouth.

When Zanka was younger, he had a fascination with romance— or just love in general. He never showed it, but if you looked closely, you'll see it on the faint sparkle of his eyes.

After his rigorous training sessions to prove something, he'll stare into space, catching his breath while fantasizing about someone checking up on him in times like this, giving him water or just asking him if he's alright.

But being a Nijiku doesn't allow him to. It was taught to him since he was a toddler, that's why he does these to save the concerns of his peers. To show that everything amazing he does just comes naturally, he's the youngest son of his family after all. He'll eventually need to keep up with his siblings.

But that doesn't mean he can't still dream about it, right?

Eventually, his love for love would gradually fade. Zanka occasionally cries himself to sleep at the thought of his siblings— his family, never giving him the warmth he's been desperately yearning for. All that he's given is crumbs, clinging onto blunt praises for his job well done, sometimes even ending it with a 'but you can be better than this.' his smile falters whenever that happens. That's why he's scared that one day, if someone were to actually love him, he'll have no idea on how to deal with it, or to know if it's real.

That's why on that very night, Zanka promised to himself that he'll be content with loneliness. For him, it's not worth the risk. Everything for the sake of being a Hell Guard.

And before he knew it, Zanka became a giver. When he thought that love was now irrelevant to him, his Lovely Assistaff proved him wrong. Zanka can't help but have a glimmer of hope that he'll get to care for someone the way he does for his vital instrument.

Alot of things had passed and now he's a part of the Cleaners. He's been disinherited and left home. Even if sometimes he didn't felt welcome in that place, Zanka still missed it.

When he was still adjusting to his sudden change of lifestyle, you came into the picture. A bright light is what he saw when you first met, all smiley as you gave Zanka a tour around the headquarters.

That memory still feels like yesterday to him, it's the first time Zanka was told that whenever he needs someone, you're always here for him. He had to bite his lip to stop himself from grinning at you like an idiot.

He grew closest to you, both being there for each other during times of highs and lows. Zanka doesn't acknowledge it but sometimes the rapid rate of his heart whenever with you is starting to get harder to ignore. The way you seem to feel the same certainly didn't help his case.

Even so, Zanka still had his doubts. More of it was directed to himself, the fear of not being good enough still gnaws deep inside him. Will you be okay being with an average joe in the sea of geniuses? Is it okay for you to be with someone who's constantly fighting with himself? Can someone like him actually be worth anything?

You don't have to answer that, to him, your actions alone speak a thousand words. When Zanka got injured from the sudden attack of the raiders, you two had a heart-to-heart conversation inside the infirmary, the smell of soft sheets accompanied by the cold wind coming in from the window kinda helped him open up more.

He told you about his past, his lingering insecurities. You knew what Zanka's family was like but the hushed rumours didn't compare to the real story coming from the one that experienced it first-hand. Seeing Zanka be this vulnerable around you felt rewarding yet heartwrenching, he trusts you enough to let his never dimming flame burn out in front of you for a while.

When Zanka realizes that he overshared and maybe trauma dumped a little too much, he abruptly stopped taking and starting apologising, you brush out Zanka's embarrassment with a chuckle and reach out a hand to hold his. It was quite cold compared to the warmth creeping up his face. You smile to yourself, looking at Zanka you say:

"Whatever happened back then, yesterday, or last week doesn't matter to me. What's important right now is that you're still here by my side"

Zanka's head almost lets out smoke as he tries not to vomit out his undying love for you right then and there. Not now!

August

✦ ── August gifts you so much stuff it's hard to keep track, though more often than not it's clothes. You find the knitting needles yourself in his workshop, and when you mention wanting to try knitting, he shows you how and encourages you to keep them!

✦ ── He tried knitting, but it required too much patience and was far too easy to fuck up, so they were just gathering dust anyways. Seeing you knit in your little corner of his workshop brings him joy, too!

✦ ── Even when you're off on missions as a supporter, you bring them along to work on your project during the long drives or stops between locations.

✦ ── That's why, when your team is outnumbered and you're moments from being trash beast food, you have them on you. Suddenly the little needles are giant pins that skewer the trash beast like a knife through butter.

✦ ── Oh yeah, that's so fucking badass! Now August is begging to see them in action, even if it's dangerous! He wants to see you put those needles to work, babe!

"DO YOU LOVE THEM MORE THAN ME!?" He was clinging to your waist, wide eyes staring down at you through orange lenses.

Despite his accusation, he had a large grin on his face.

"Of course not, Auggie! I love them so much because you gave them to me!" Your hands were waving frantically, playing along with him.

"I know! Just wanted to hear you say it!" The low chuckle he gave was unlike his usual boisterous laugh; it would have been alarming if it weren't coming from August.

"THIS MEANS I GET TO MAKE YOU A GIVER UNIFORM! WOO!!"

Eishia

✦ ── It was an old tool of hers, a simple stethoscope that was a little worse for wear. She had just gotten a new upgraded one, and she knew you had fun playing with it, so she gifted you her old one!

✦ ── Eishia knows you best, because you're always using it on anyone who lets you (mostly her) or on random surfaces to see what it'd pick up.

✦ ── It becomes pretty commonplace to see you wearing it, which warms her heart. She's glad you put the old thing to good use, even for silly purposes.

✦ ── During one mission you get separated from the rest when a Raider attacks. It's life or death when they rip your stethoscope away from you. It just so happens the chestpiece makes contact with their skin.

✦ ── Suddenly you can hear everything they're thinking and feeling and how their body is reacting. You're able to discern their instrument's weak point from their thoughts and use it to beat them.

"My gift...saved your life?" After you'd been healed from minor injuries, she'd taken the time to listen to what happened.

"Yeah! I was moments from being killed, and then boom! All these thoughts flooded me. So, thank you, Eishia!" Your hands were holding one of hers, keeping it close to your chest.

She was still staring at the stethoscope around your neck.

"I really didn't do anything. It was just a little gift..." Her stammering took over as she lowered her voice. "...but I'm really glad it helped you."

Enjin

✦ ── It was a stupid joke, is what it was. He got you a stopwatch because you were the slowest runner on Akuta and wanted to 'fuel your rage' during your training runs.

✦ ── It worked, albeit a bit too well. You used it all the time and maintained the habit of trying to break your own speed record. He'd always be there to cheer you on and watch as you steadily beat his own speed.

✦ ── One day the two of you go for a run around town, except halfway across the street a car comes barreling towards you and Enjin.

✦ ── One second he's bracing for impact, and the next he's safely on the sidewalk without having moved a muscle. You're clearly out of breath, but your eyes are glowing, and so is the stopwatch.

✦ ── Absolutely baffled at the absurdity of it. People spend their whole life trying to become a giver, and you did it with one gag gift and a shitty driver. Yeah, you're fucking amazing!

"FOR REAL!?" The walk back to HQ is filled with his baffled shouts and your laughing.

"I mean, I guess it makes sense. I've been taking good care of this lil guy." You were looking at the stopwatch again, which seemed to be able to slow down time.

You'd have to test it out some more before you knew exactly what it did.

"Damn, I should start gifting shit to more people. Cleaners could always use more givers." If only it were that easy.

Follo

✦ ── When he and the others head to town to get artificial flowers for Zanka, Follo gets the bright idea to buy you a bouquet for your date later that night.

✦ ── It's full of your favourite flowers, colours, and foliage that support the entire aesthetic. The stems are neatly tied with a ribbon, and they'll never die since they're fake!

✦ ── He's super happy you cherish them, to the point where you always wear at least one of the flowers in your hair or somewhere on your person.

✦ ── One day while the two of you are out on a mission, supporting the combatants, a trash beast gets way too close to trampling Follo.

✦ ── The flower you're wearing comes to life in a blur of panic. Suddenly the trash beast is completely ensnared in reinforced artificial vines until it's crushed to death.

"Your flowers? The ones I gave you?!" The post-fight rush is long over, and suddenly Follo is all over you, making sure you're uninjured.

Ironic, given he was the one in danger.

"Yeah! I guess I loved them a little too much, huh?" Follo was inspecting the flower you twirled between your fingers.

"That's so...so...gah!" He pulled you into his arms, mostly so he could hide the tears welling up in his eyes. Wanting to be a giver was one thing, but knowing he helped you become one was already an honour.

Jabber

✦ ── You were like...an honorary Raider. Being a non-giver, you mostly just helped Jabber with whatever missions he had when possible.

✦ ── Of course you couldn't go on all of them, which meant you were alone a lot. Jabber didn't like that, so he brought you the first weapon he could find: an axe!

✦ ── You, alone, bored, and an axe? Well, you may as well practice with it! And so you hone your skills at fighting with an axe, testing it on makeshift piles of trash and drawn targets.

✦ ── It's when some trafficker finds you alone that you first bother to use it against anyone. He gets the jump on you, but it's only moments before you've chopped the guy's hand off.

✦ ── Except your axe is blazing hot, and it cauterizes immediately. He won't bleed out, so you restrain him for the Raiders to do as they please later.

"Damn! That was totally nasty!" Jabber stuck his tongue out to accentuate his 'disgust' at how you'd pretty much tortured the guy.

"It's not like I knew it'd do that!" You gave an exasperated sigh, still clutching the axe you'd used hours prior.

"You should have known! You're obsessed with me and any gift I give you, right? Of course you'd become a giver!"

"I don't think that's how it works..." You weren't certain he was listening.

"We're a perfect little torture duo, though, don't you think? Non-lethal poison and non-lethal limb detachment." For whatever depraved reason, the thought brought a blush to his cheeks.

Rudo

✦ ── It was just something he'd found in one of the no man's lands, a little trinket he'd repaired and cleaned up because he thought you'd like it: a skateboard.

✦ ── You were always talking about how bored you were at base when you were done with front stuff, so why not give you a hobby to try? And it seemed to work!

✦ ── In fact, it became your main hobby. He would always go for small trips with you to find abandoned buildings, taking the time to build ramps and obstacles with you.

✦ ── When he's away on missions, you like to visit the little ramp parks on your own. Only, this time there's a horde of smaller trash beasts there.

✦ ── Usually your skateboard wouldn't work so well on the uneven soil, making the quickest path out of there, but suddenly your skateboard is levitating, and wheels simply don't matter!

"This isn't a joke, right?" Rudo was side-eyeing the skateboard currently leaning against the wall. He'd just gotten back and was filled in on your encounter.

"Dead serious! Thank you, Rudo!" Your hug caught him off guard, though he eventually managed to offer it right back.

"Huh? Thank me? Why?" His pale face is now a burning crimson.

"I was saved because of your gift, and it's special to me because you fixed it up for me! So, thank you!"

Semiu

✦ ── Since you're always sitting by her desk during your free time, she gifted you a nice Rubik's cube to keep your hands busy and away from messing with her paperwork.

✦ ── Now you're crazy fast with it! You ask other cleaners to scramble it for you, and you can solve it in under thirty seconds. You're distracted, and Semiu gets your company while she works.

✦ ── One day some no-good lowly group decides to try and infiltrate cleaner HQ through the back exit tunnels. Naturally you follow Semiu because you want to see her badass fight!

✦ ── There you are, mindlessly toying with your Rubik's cube, when you overhear one of them call her all sorts of obscenities. No weapon has been drawn, the fight hasn't even started, and suddenly the whole tunnel is upside down.

✦ ── You're furious, cussing them out and twisting the Rubik's cube. Every time you turn it, the gravity in the tunnel shifts, which Semiu has no trouble adjusting to. The criminals, however, fall without grace countless times.

"Seriously? I didn't think you liked that little toy so much."

"I like it because of you, Semiu. You gifted it to me, and it allows me to spend more time with you." Of course she knew that already, but she enjoyed hearing it come from you directly.

"That's plain adorable, babe." Seeing you enjoy a gift so much to the point of awakening as a giver was both an honour and a huge addition to her ego.

Tamsy

✦ ── It was an innocent gift. He got roller skates to try them out; you showed interest, so he thought you might use them more than him. He even goes out of his way to help you get used to wearing them!

✦ ── The laces were also replaced with some of Tokushin's yarn, since the originals had rotted. Overall, the personal touches he provides in fixing them up for you make it extra sweet.

✦ ── It's one evening when you're minding your own business, roller skating along the nearby town's sidewalks while Tamsy walks alongside you, that someone is crossing the road and fails to notice a car moments from hitting them.

✦ ── You're far, impossibly far, and yet your feet carry you faster than what should have been possible. You've swooped the person out of the way just in time to miss the car.

✦ ── Amazed? Of course! Impressed? Absolutely! Smitten? Of course he is; what an absolute ego boost that you became a giver thanks to his kindness.

"Rollerskates, hm? My distaff is much cooler." He was already teasing you on the walk back.

Walk, yes, because you now clutch the skates in your arms. Adrenaline is still racing from the ordeal and you're terrified you'll accidentally activate them again.

"Is teasing your way at getting me to calm down?" You looked up from the sidewalk to eye him.

"It's working, isn't it?" Of course it was, but you'd never tell him that. He was already too cocky, knowing your instrument was his gift.

Tomme

✦ ── Since you and Tomme were both supporters, you got split up a lot. That meant she always wanted to hear about what kind of trash beasts you saw during your missions so she could write about them!

✦ ── Of course, you're busy fighting for your life, and she understands you can't always be taking notes. So she gifts you a camera and requests you try to take photos of them instead—when convenient—so she can add them to her journal that way!

✦ ── And you seem to really enjoy taking photos. You take great care of the camera and are always sure to bring back something for her. It's during one encounter that you nearly die to the very trash beast you're taking a photo of, when it turns out a little...different.

✦ ── The photo has a looping animation, and it already has a caption in your handwriting detailing the encounter!

✦ ── Tomme thinks it's a super badass power and is crazy excited to use some of these special polaroids in her journal. But she is also moments from smacking you over the head for endangering your life!

"I still can't believe you'd risk your life for my hobby, though." She's shaking her head, which now rests in her hands.

"But the shot turned out great, and now I'm a giver! That's a double win." Regardless of your confidence, your smile is still sheepish.

Tomme lifts her head, using a free hand to flick your forehead.

"Don't risk your life, no matter how cool it may seem!"

Zanka

✦ ── Gifts were rare from him. He was more of an experience person who wanted to spend time with you. When he does give you a gift, it's something extremely well thought out.

✦ ── Such as the little music box with a dancing ballerina in it. It was purchased from a collector and a vintage find. Not only that, but the song it played was a lullaby he heard you hum countless times.

✦ ── Whenever you struggled to rest or anxieties came to haunt you, you'd pull out the little box and watch the ballerina 'dance' to the little tune. It was great for when he was away, too.

✦ ── During one of your missions, you and a few supporters are cornered by two Raiders. Without any combatants you're no match, and it isn't long before most of you are injured or bleeding out.

✦ ── Your music box falls out of your pocket and opens, and once the little melody starts playing, both the Raiders fall completely limp to the floor.

"I'm just glad you're okay." Zanka is sitting on the side of your hospital bed, having stayed by your side since Akuta found you and the other supporters.

"It's thanks to you, really. Your sweet gift saved me." Your hand was intertwined with his; the music box sat on the side table where you could give it a glance.

"You're the one who used its potential, not me. But..." Zanka was avoiding eye contact, though you could see a blush peeking through the hair obscuring his face.

"I'm glad it means that much to you."

Author's Note ── I actually got this as a request, but it was only for Zanka/Tamsy, and they asked for a oneshot (which I don't do upon request), so I just had fun with it since the prompt was so fun!

You didn't answer, but somehow, Enjin already knew. He just sighed. "My God."

★ Rudo was mesmerized the first time you ruffled his hair. His eyes widened, and he stood completely still for a moment, his stern expression slowly softening. Rudo closed his eyes and hugged you cautiously, still half-expecting rejection. When you didn't pull away, he stayed there, burying his face in your chest.

"Hey, love, have you seen—" Enjin's voice echoed through the room, but you quickly cut him off, raising a finger to your lips in a silent request. The blond stopped, a small smile forming as he saw Rudo nestled in your arms. "I'll come back later." he whispered before leaving the room.

★ The first time he called you "mom" was an accident. You were tucking him into bed, and he was already half-asleep. The word just slipped out. A heavy silence filled the room, followed by Rudo's deep embarrassment. But you just smiled, stroked his cheek, and said, "It's okay. You can call me that if you want."

He never said it again, and his cheeks still burned with shame whenever he remembered it.

★ Rudo became your "shadow." He didn't just watch you—he internalized a fierce instinct to protect you. On missions, he was always one step ahead, scanning the surroundings even though, as your apprentice, he should've stayed behind. If anyone dared raise their voice at you, Rudo would appear instantly at your side, hurling insults like a rabid dog. He didn't care what others thought of him; all that mattered was defending you.

"Say that about her again and I'll smash every one of your teeth, you bastard!" You held the boy back before he could lunge at the person, watching his arms and short feathers flail wildly. "Let me kill him!"

"Calm down, Rudo. It's alright." You then kissed the top of his head, and he stopped immediately. Rudo fell silent, drawing surprised glances from the others.

★ Rudo was still haunted by nightmares. Some nights, he'd appear silently at your bedroom door, wrapped in a teddy bear blanket, unable to sleep. You never said a word, just made space for him to lie down beside you. Enjin would grumble, cracking his eyes open as Rudo settled between the two of you. He'd raise a sleepy eyebrow, blinking slowly. You'd pull Rudo close, holding him snugly against your chest. Enjin said nothing and went back to sleep, too tired to fight his girlfriend for attention against that brat.

★ Rudo was used to having nothing, so when you gave him simple things—a warm meal, a clean shirt, or something old for him to restore—he'd freeze, unsure how to react. Little by little, you taught him that it was okay to accept kindness. He began treasuring those gifts with almost religious care, like priceless relics.

★ Rudo grew deeply worried whenever you got hurt. If you were attacked in front of him, he'd likely lose his mind and act completely irrationally. Later, in the infirmary, he'd sit in the chair beside your bed, his scarlet eyes filled with anguish and concern. He'd touch your hand, his face full of sorrow.

"Get better soon..." he'd murmur, small tears beginning to burn in the corners of his eyes.

★ Rudo misses you whenever you don't go on missions together. When he returns, he makes sure to tell you everything in detail, every little thing he experienced. He's still learning how to express himself, and for some reason, he finds it easier with you. Maybe it's your patience, or the fact that you never judge him, unlike some of the others. With you, he feels truly safe.

★ Rudo always smiles when you praise him. He gets all flustered, his cheeks tinted with a soft blush. One of his biggest goals was to make friends, and having you as his first friend felt like a huge achievement.

"Will we stay together forever?" he asked, his eyes shining with hope.

"Yes, forever," you replied, laughing softly as you tapped his hands.

Since he fell from the sky, he had never felt so whole. You made him feel welcomed, cherished. And deep in his heart, Rudo hoped to repay your kindness one day.

Pero gi deny lang ninyong dalawa na mag kakasama kayo. Which hurts but oh well.

Saturday, ngayon na ang araw kung asan kayo mag gala ni Zanka. He walked up behind you and flicked the back at your head making you flinch.

"Aray! What the hell?!" You exclaimed

"Yow chill, it's just me" He explained, ruffling your head. "I got a surprise for you waiting."

"Wehhh 'di nga?" You teased slightly, poking him to the side. But you were curious what could be the surprise about?

He sighed, "Just c'mere," he demanded whilst dragging your wrist near to him. Where is he taking you? Why is it a surprise? Plus, ano ang gina plot niya? Your mind is now flooded with questions that needed to be answered.

Naka-abot na kayo sa isang Ocean Park, you were stunned, shocked even. Really an Ocean Park? Dito mag gala? Oh gosh how rich is he. Zanka lets go of your wrist.

"Sorry, hindi ko sinadya na hilahin kita dito." Zanka apologized checking in if you were hurt, except you are not.

"Ok lang yan ah, 'tas ba't tayo n'andito?" Nag tanong ka, placing a soft gaze.

"Oh uhh," Zanka rubbed his nape habang humanap ng magandang sagot.

"We're here."

"HUY SURE BA??" Sumigaw ikaw in shock, hindi mo talga in-expect na sa Ocean Park kayo mag gagala.

"Yeah, let's go." Zanka let out a chuckle, knowing that taking you here will be a shock.

As the two of you stepped in, you were in awe. Giant tanks with different kinds of marine animals, which you really love.

Napatingin ikaw kay Zanka na naka ngiti sa'yo. Lumingon siya bigla pag nakita niya ikaw naka tingin sa kanya, blush already forming in his face. Pinipigilan mo mag tawa, you walked up right next to him, slipping your arm around his. Kinakumbinsi siyang explore the whole park together.

Sumabay kayong pumunta sa isang jellyfish exhibit. Flashy colors in each tank and jellyfish gliding through the water everywhere.

You went to check a swarm of Moon jellyfish first, till you heard a camera clicked.

"You looked like a kid here," Zanka showed his screen to you, grinning, already reaching his phone in the air high enough for you not to reach it. You felt the embarrassment racing to you, you rushed to him begging and tugging his clothes to delete it.

"ZANKA NAMAN. DELETE MO NA YAN PEASE!" You pleaded; tip-toeing just to reached his hand.

"How about no?" Now smirking with his usual sassy personality, ugh nakakainis.

You got closer and closer to him, your hand already almost reaching your phone. You got too close that Zanka's heart started pounding wishing that you won't hear since it was so loud.

Zanka decided to switch moves fast, which made you annoyed at him. After a few minutes of bickering and fighting over a stupid picture, you finally caught his phone from his hand and deleted the picture.

You sighed from relief, giving his phone back to him. Now thinking about that picture, you wanted him to take more pictures of you.

"Can you atleast just... Take pictures of me while we're here. I'll take some of yours, for memories!" You stated; Zanka nodded in agreement.

You both explored once more, taking pictures of each other and the sea creatures, the normal stuff.

After walking for a while, you both went to where the food is at. Zanka suggested to eat at this cafe where you can see fish swimming around, you agreed happily making him smile.

Unfortunately he already reserved a seat for the both of you, leaving you unsurprised. As you both sat down, you glanced at the tank next to you, beautiful beta fishes swimming around. Zanka secretly pulled out his phone to take pictures of you once more.

Nakuha mo agad na nag picture si Zanka sa iyo ulit. Ano ba problema niya? Pinabayaan mo nalang siyang mag picture sa iyo. As your food arrived, you started asking him.

"Bakit mo pinili ang aquarium para lang din gumala?" You asked

"Because I wanted to tell you something, pero later. After we eat." He replied, scooping a piece of his pastry into his mouth.

"Pwede mo naman din sabihin saakin right now. You are acting weird, plus you really are spending a lot of money"

"Don't worry. I have already talked to my parents about this," He then got a piece of cake from you.

"And continue eating." Zanka then pointed his spoon directly to your mouth, which you then take cause who doesn't like a good cake. And the cake was delicious.

You both continued to chat while eating. After eating you both went out to explore the last place the both of you didn't explored yet.

Zanka stared the beautiful scenery, sharks, fishes, and manta rays swimming gracefully in the water. You went to his side; enjoying the scenery too.

As both of you were in awe, Zanka took a deep breath.

"You know, I've been liking you since 10th grade." He stated. You looked at him, with straight up confusion. Ano. Ano pinagsasabihan nito? Confession? But you stayed quiet because you wanted to listen more of him.

"I know you are shocked right now because we are friends, pero ayaw ko na tayong maging friends anymore. I wanted something more to us both. Something more than friends." Zanka now clenched his fists.

You were left speechless, oh my gosh he actually confessed.

"And to answer your questions earlier, I chose this place because I wanted to confess my feelings for you here. Now happy?" He then looks at you.

You, who looked at him ever since he started talking, smiling widely. Feeling quite emotional now knowing that he likes you back.

"Yes, I am." Moving closer to him. You instantly went up to hug him.

"H-hey why are you hugging me right now.." Zanka's face flushed and praying that you won't notice his rapid heartbeat once again after a confession.

"Oh I'm sorry," you let out a soft giggle.

"I'm glad you felt the same way." You now smiled at him, accepting his feelings.

Zanka reached out to hold your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours.

"Shall we?" Hinting that they should roam around once more while holding hands. You nodded happily.

You and Zanka, roamed happily together throughout the whole aquarium holding hands, still unsure on what are your labels are, but that wasn't the main focus here. The main focus was being together.

After roaming around and reaching to the exit. He asked if he could take you home, and you agreed to his request.

Now you were thinking, is this a date in disguise? You wanted to ask Zanka now but he was too busy talking a lot of things to you, so you saved the question for later.

After reaching home, you waved a goodbye to him before leaving.

You now then plopped to your bed.

So basically, Zanka wanted to confess to you since FOREVER. He didn't get the chance to noong moving-up ceremony, so he just took the chance at the aquarium earlier.

His plan was supported with Enjin, Riyo, and Rudo. It was also a disguised date, so everything that happened earlier was... A date?

And alam mo naman din na mga stalker yan sila sa mga ganyan. You let out a sigh and go with the flow since wala naman din ikaw magawa, pero sweet naman din.

Timing din kung asan nag send si Enjin ng picture ni Zanka at Ikaw during the confession sa kay Zanka.

But you can't lie that the photo was taken well.

It's now official that you and Zanka are in a relationship that'll be a "secret".

A/n: UY PILIPINS🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭!! Anyways Happy Pride y'all! I've been really into Filo aus and omg. I need to write abt smth, and well, here we are now. Apologies in advance for my bad writing huehsusheje but I'll improve it soon! Also my inbox is open, if u wanna request go ahead‼️

✧𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗!

Ending his workday means going home. And if he goes home, you’ll be there. And if you’re there, he’ll be reminded of your nasty argument from the other night. And if he thinks about that argument, he’ll have to face the fact that the two of you are still stubbornly refusing to speak to one another until the other apologizes first. It’s a ridiculous standoff—an unnecessary one, and he knows it. But neither of you seems particularly interested in ending it, and now his own apartment has somehow become the last place he wants to be. Every room feels charged with an uncomfortable tension. The living room is awkward. The kitchen is unbearable. Even lying down beside you at night feels weird, so Katsuki would rather avoid the whole thing if he can help it.

If he gets home late enough, you’ll already be asleep. Then he can shower, crawl into bed, and pretend the situation doesn’t exist for a few more hours. It seemed like a solid plan in his mind, but unfortunately, thanks to fucking Shitty-Hair, he has no choice but to head home and hang up his costume. 

And judging by the lights still glowing through the windows of his apartment, his luck has officially run out. You’re still awake. Of course.

He trudges in, and there you are—sitting stiffly on the couch in the living room, staring directly at him with your arms crossed and an infuriated glare on your face as you fix him with narrowed eyes. Great.

“Do you have any fucking clue what time it is?” you hiss without missing a beat.

Katsuki should’ve known you’d start nagging the second he walked through the door. Hell, he should’ve turned around and just left the moment he saw the lights on instead of coming in.

“S’not even ten,” he grumbles, kicking his boots off. “Would you fuckin’ drop it—”

“You were supposed to be home almost two hours ago!” Your voice rings through the apartment, sharp and incredulous, and Katsuki is so tired. So exhausted. Too exhausted to deal with this nonsense right now, of all times.

“Yeah, well. Now I’m home. There you go.”

The dismissal only seems to make you angrier. Katsuki practically watches the steam start pouring from your ears as you shoot to your feet, hands planting firmly on your hips. And he just knows your voice is about to get louder.

“That’s it?” you practically screech. He fucking knew it. “You’re out on patrol for an extra two hours, and I hear nothing from you—not even a text saying, I’ll be home late. I’ve been sitting here like an idiot, wondering what the fuck happened, or if you’re okay, and all you can say is now you’re home? Do you just get off on being an asshole or something, Katsuki?”

His shoulders tense immediately as he fixes you with an equally hard glare. There goes his wish for a peaceful, conflict-avoidant night. Of course, as always, you have to drag the conflict right to him and drop it at his feet, spike his temper, and make it ruin his evening. A simple shower and a good night’s sleep was all he wanted. But things are never quite that easy—not with you.

Katsuki feels a dull throb start behind his eyes as he shoots back, “What, was your phone broken or some shit? What exactly held you at gunpoint and stopped you from sendin’ me a text and asking, huh?”

Your jaw drops. “Are you serious?”

“I’m not laughin’, am I? Definitely no jokes here.”

“Oh, fuck you,” you scowl, and he snorts. There’s no humor behind the sound, however.

“Yeah, that’s real mature.”

“Oh no—you don’t get to tell me about what’s mature and what isn’t. Cause if you wanna talk about what’s mature, it’s not disappearing for two hours and acting like I’m insane for being worried!”

“I wasn’t disappearing, I was fuckin’ doing my job.”

“You were supposed to be done with that job hours ago!”

“Well, I wasn’t!”

“You have a smart little answer for everything, don’t you, Katsuki?” you smile sarcastically, “just think you’re so smart and above it all, huh?”

Katsuki doesn’t know if it’s the headache that’s been creeping on him, or the rage, or the pure adrenaline in his system, but he does know that for a short, fleeting second, all he saw was red. 

“Holy fuck, do you ever listen to yourself?”

Your expression hardens instantly. “No, I think you should listen to yourself. You might hear an idiot if you do.”

The apartment goes quiet. Dangerously quiet. 

“You know what?” he says coldly, “forget this. I’m goin’ the fuck to sleep—I’ve dealt with enough bullshit tonight—”

You throw your hands in the air, exasperated. There is a flash of hurt on your face that makes his chest ache, but the sharp stab of pain doesn’t last for long because as quickly as his heart bleeds, his mind makes him forget. It only lets him focus on the anger and the irritation and the way you’ve ruined his night, just like you ruined the one before. 

“Every single time I tell you something bothers me, you act like it’s a personal attack, and then you just dismiss me like I don’t matter—”

“Maybe I wouldn’t dismiss shit if every conversation with you didn’t turn into a fuckin’ laundry list of grievances you got with me!”

“You only take everything I say as a complaint because you refuse to communicate!”

“Because not everything needs to be a damn discussion like we’re in therapy!”

“Right,” you laugh bitterly. “Silly me. God forbid I expect basic consideration from you.”

Something ugly flashes across his face. He knows it. Katsuki knows that when he’s mad, he turns ugly—he’s always been that way. It’s the only way he knows how to be. For the longest time, he thought you were the only person he could hide it from. That you were the only person he could fight the urge to get ugly from because you are just that special. 

But Katsuki is who he is, and he’s learned that he’s a special kind of ugly just for you.

“Basic consideration?” he barks. “You’re sayin’ I’m not considerate?”

“No, sometimes you fucking aren’t and—”

“Oh, that’s fuckin’ rich! I break my back every day keeping this city safe—”

“Well, if the city is the only thing you can be considerate for, why the fuck are you even here?”

It’s silent as soon as the words leave your mouth. Katsuki goes completely still. He can feel it the second it happens—the way his expression shuts down. The way the anger drains out of his face and leaves behind something colder. Something worse. Something so ugly, he has to get out of here before you see it and realize he isn’t worth it. Isn’t worth you. 

“Yeah,” His voice is flat. “Why am I here, right? You know, you can just tell me to leave next time, it’d be a lot fuckin’ easier for you.”

“Katsuki—”

“No.” He grabs the strap of his duffel bag that carries his guantlets from where he’d dropped it by the door, throwing it over his shoulder as he bends down to lace his boots up again.

“Katsuki, that’s not what I meant.”

“Sure.”

“I was angry—”

“Clearly, you’re always fuckin’ angry at me. I’m always doin’ something the fuck wrong, aren’t I? Nothin’ I do is enough?”

Stop, stop, stop. His mind is screaming, begging him not to do this. To get out. To leave and fight that hideous part of him down until he’s far enough that you never, ever have to see it.

“Katsuki, don’t do this right now—”

“Do what?” His voice rises more than it should. Stop—stop now. But he can’t. The ugliest of him is already taking surface and showing his truest of colors. “What exactly am I supposed to say here, huh?” You flinch. He needs to fucking stop, but he doesn’t. “Because apparently, when I stay late to save people, I’m an asshole. When I’m home, I’m an asshole. I breathe, I’m an asshole. I exist, I’m an asshole.”

“That’s not—”

“So what’s the answer?” His laugh is bitter and so, so cold that he doesn’t recognize this version of himself. Not with you. He wants to stop desperately, but he can’t. Because Katsuki is an ugly, hideous, despicable person deep down. No amount of heroism on the surface can hide that part of him that’s on the inside, not from you. “Since you’ve got everything figured out, you tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to do.”

“Katsuki, let’s just sit down and—”

He shakes his head. For a second, he wants it to hurt. He wants it to hurt for you. Stop, stop, stop— “Y’know what? I’m done.”

His hand closes around the doorknob, and your voice comes out shaky and panicked as you whisper, “Katsuki, please just sit down and—”

“I’m not fuckin’ doin’ this shit anymore.”

Then he yanks the door open and walks right back out, slamming it hard enough behind him to rattle the picture frames on the wall.

────────────────────────

Katsuki is six when he first asks his father what the fuck the old man even sees in the hag that is his mother. He remembers the conversation vividly. 

“Dad, why did you marry Mom? She’s grumpy and old, and she yells all the time,” little Katsuki asks, crossing his tiny arms over his chest. “Why d’you even like her?”

Masaru nearly chokes on his tea. “Katsuki,” he coughs. “Your mother isn’t old. You shouldn’t say that—it’s rude.”

“But she is,” he huffs. “She smells like an old lady, too.”

“Well, if she’s old, then I’m even older,” Masaru points out, taking another sip. “So that can’t be a very good reason not to like her.”

“Well, she’s mean.”

“She’s not mean,” his father chuckles, thoroughly amused. 

No matter how many times he sees it, Katsuki doesn’t understand it—the way his father gets that dumb, starry-eyed look whenever Mitsuki comes up. She’s always in a bad mood, and if she isn’t, she’s probably due for one within the next thirty minutes. Why his father would choose to marry such a sour lady is completely beyond his six-year-old comprehension.

“She yelled at me this morning,” he sulks.

“You tried to use your explosions inside the house,” Masaru reminds him, leveling him with a pointed look. “We talked about that. Rules are rules for a reason, young man.”

Katsuki pouts harder. His father is supposed to take his side.

“But she still yelled. And it was mean,” he argues back stubbornly. Masaru only smiles into his tea, shaking his head with fond amusement. For a moment, neither of them speaks. Then Katsuki presses again, “So what do you even like about her?”

The question seems to catch Masaru off guard. He pauses, thinking. “Well,” he says slowly, “she’s funny.”

Katsuki blinks. His father cannot possibly be serious. “Mom?”

“Yes.”

“She’s funny?”

“Very.”

“No, she isn’t,” Katsuki says immediately, deeply offended by the blatant lie.

Masaru laughs, “She is.” Katsuki stares at him like he’s completely lost his mind. Masaru only smiles wider. “She’s honest, too. You always know what she’s thinking.”

“That’s because she says whatever she thinks.”

“Exactly.”

“And she says it loud.”

“That’s true.”

“She says it really loud, Dad.”

Masaru nods solemnly, sighing. “Also very true, son.”

“She should shut up,” Katsuki huffs. His father fixes him with a stern look at that, and he shrinks back just a little. 

“We do not say that about our mother, Katsuki.”

Katsuki rolls his eyes but slumps deeper into his chair all the same. “Fine.”

“Your mother is wonderful,” his father says. “She works hard. She cares about people. She loves our family—she loves us. One day, you’ll see that. And when you do, I think you’ll appreciate her a lot more.”

Katsuki picks at the food on his plate, turning the words over in his head. 

His mother does love him—he knows that much, even if she is annoying. She remembers all the snacks he likes and somehow always comes home with them without him ever having to ask. Whenever he asks for money, she gives him more than he requested—even if it usually costs him an irritatingly painful pinch to the cheek. She wakes up early to bathe him despite complaining about losing sleep because he prefers morning baths to evening ones.

His mother loves him; he knows that to be true. But it’s only true because she is his mother, and he is her son. Mothers love their sons—it’s the rules. Why his father would willingly choose to love that woman remains completely incomprehensible, however, in his mind.

“Mom is super annoying,” he says bluntly.

Masaru’s smile softens. “I suppose sometimes she can be, yes.”

“See?” Katsuki perks up immediately, his entire face screaming, gotcha!

“But,” Masaru continues, “I’m sure I annoy her, too.”

Katsuki deflates on the spot. 

More than that, he simply cannot imagine such a thing being possible. His father is calm and nice and makes good food. Katsuki thinks lots of women would like his father—women who also would not find Masaru annoying. The only person allowed to find Masaru annoying is Katsuki himself, and that’s because his father makes rules that Katsuki has to follow. He thinks he’s earned that right.

His mother, however, has no such excuse.

“She gets annoyed with you?” he asks incredulously.

“Of course. Every day, I’m sure there’s something I do that annoys her at least a little.”

“Then why does she like you?”

Masaru thinks for a moment, carefully choosing his words, trying to explain this odd phenomenon that is love. “Because loving someone isn’t about finding a person who never annoys you,” he says finally. “It’s about finding someone who still sees your value even when you’re annoying. Someone who chooses you anyway. Does that make sense?”

His nose wrinkles immediately. “No.” His father stifles a chuckle when Katsuki adds, “That sounds dumb.”

“Maybe,” Masaru hums, eyeing him with bright, endeared eyes.

“I’m not gonna marry someone annoying when I’m all big. Because I’m smart!”

That earns him a full laugh from his father. It’s the kind of laugh that makes Masaru lean forward and wipe at the corner of his eye. In fact, he laughs so hard he nearly spills his tea. “You say that now,” his father says, setting his mug down, “but that’ll change. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“No, I won’t,” Katsuki grumbles. He doesn’t appreciate that he’s not being taken seriously.

“I think you will, son.”

“I definitely won’t.”

Masaru only smiles. He looks at Katsuki the way adults always do when they think he’s young and silly and doesn’t know what he’s talking about. And Katsuki hates that look. He’s smart—excellent, even. Just the other day, he caught his teacher’s mistake during subtraction when nobody else in his class noticed. At this rate, he’s well on his way to being smarter than most adults.

He absolutely knows what he’s talking about.

“Well, we’ll just have to see, Katsuki. If I’m right, you’ll take me out for ramen someday. Deal?”

“Fine,” Katsuki huffs, puffing out his chest confidently. “But you’ll never see that ramen.”

────────────────────────

Twenty years later, Katsuki sometimes wonders if he’s going to have to admit he was wrong and take the old man out for ramen after all.

You are, without question, the most annoying, irritating, vein-popping individual he has ever met. It’s like every decision you make is carefully calculated to inconvenience him specifically.

He has to keep an extra jacket in his car because you never check the weather before leaving the house. He has to double-check your grocery lists before you go shopping because if he doesn’t, you’ll somehow forget the one thing you actually need. He has to make sure you take your vitamins. Every night, he has to remind you to take your makeup off before bed because, apparently, that responsibility has become his problem—and if you wake up the next morning with mascara smeared under your eyes because you didn’t listen to him, then somehow you still find a way to blame him for not wiping it for you.

You are annoying. Every single fucking day, you annoy him. You annoyed him yesterday. You’ve annoyed him today. You’ll annoy him tomorrow. And he’ll tell you exactly that—he’ll call you a dumbass, and tell you to get your life together. Complain about the ridiculous thing you did this time, and accuse you of going out of your way to make his life harder on purpose. But after that, despite it all, he will still love you. 

Twenty years later, now that he’s older, Katsuki realizes he understands what his father meant. That loving someone doesn’t happen because they never annoyed him—loving someone happens because they annoyed him, and he still, despite that, sees nothing but the good.

He loves you. You are annoying and drive him up a wall, but Katsuki knows that you are good. The greatest good that there might ever be, and he might have just ruined it. He probably fucked it all up and lost all the good he had. All the good he’s ever wanted. All the good that he’s wanted to keep for the rest of his life and cherish.

The second the apartment door slams shut behind him, Katsuki regrets it. He regrets being the reason behind that look on your face. That brief flash of panic in your eyes right before he left. That way that your voice sounded when you said his name.

He can’t get it out of his head as he walks out of your building. “Fuck,” He runs a hand through his hair and keeps walking.

The only friends he’d willingly see right now are working, his parents are definitely sleeping (and would ask too many questions he doesn’t want to answer, even if they weren’t), and he is nowhere near calm enough to go back upstairs and just go home.

But his patrol route is still active. So instead of going home and into bed like a normal person who has morning patrol, Katsuki leaves his apartment building behind and heads toward work.

By the time he gets suited up again, it’s almost eleven. By the time it’s midnight, he’s still out. By the time it’s 1 AM, he should call it a night.

Instead, however, he keeps moving. One more block turns into one more street. Anything to keep himself from going home or thinking about the argument. About the way you looked at him. About the things he said. About the shit he ruined for sure.

His thoughts are loud enough in his head, turning him deaf to everything else. He misses things he normally wouldn’t—things like suspicious shadows and warning shouts from another hero.

By the time Katsuki realizes what’s happening for what it is, the villain goes down easily enough—too easily. He curses himself for being so naive, so rash. He’s been fighting as a pro for years. He was a war veteran before he was even a legal adult, for crying out loud. Still, despite all that, the second Katsuki realizes something is wrong, it’s already too late.

The construction site groans around him—metal screeches against metal, and his head snaps upward. All he sees is the upper half of the structure collapsing before he loses his balance and collapses with it. 

“Shit—”

The explosion leaves his palms a fraction of a second too late, and he doesn’t go propelling forward the way he’s supposed to. The half-built building comes down, and Katsuki goes down with it. 

Then everything goes dark.

────────────────────────

It’s 2 AM when you see it on the news. Kirishima sends you a text asking if you’d heard what happened, and by the time you’ve spammed him with messages asking what the hell he was even talking about, he’s gone silent. Something in your gut knows that he’s not answering because he’s too busy rescuing. Too busy being a hero.

Your heart tells you that the person he has to be a hero to tonight just so happens to be Katsuki.

The first report you see hits the news at 2:13 AM. The anchor’s voice is as smooth and polished as ever as she delivers the words that send your whole world crumbling around you. 

“We are receiving breaking reports of a major incident involving Pro Hero Dynamight.”

The footage that floods the screen makes you fall to your knees and muffle your sobs behind a shaky palm—collapsed concrete and emergency responders and heroes rushing in and out of the wreckage. The camera zooms toward the ruined construction site, and Katsuki’s body is nowhere to be seen on the screen. You don’t quite know if that’s a good thing or bad.

“Dynamight was reportedly responding to a villain incident when a structural collapse occurred. We are told he is trapped beneath the rubble. Emergency responders are currently on the scene, conducting rescue operations.”

At 2:37 AM, the hospital gives you a call as his emergency contact. You’re sick to your stomach, not sure how you’ll make the drive there when Kirishima finally texts you again.

Kiri <3: I already told his parents. They’re on their way so don’t worry about it Kiri <3: One of my sidekicks is outside your apartment. They’ll drive you down there Kiri <3: I still have to handle the aftermath and finish patrol so I won’t be there I’m sorry Kiri <3: Keep me updated?

You: Don’t apologize Kiri idk what I’d do without u You: Thank you and pls be safe You: I’ll lyk things as soon as I find out

Kiri <3: Take it easy okay? Kiri <3: He’s come back from worse. It’ll be alright

——

Kirishima’s sidekick gets you to the hospital efficiently, but you are still at your wits’ end by the time you can rush out of the passenger seat and bolt through the sliding doors.

Some part of you is grateful you didn’t have to drive here yourself because you know you would’ve sped dangerously over the limit, missed half the red lights, and probably would’ve gotten yourself pulled over. At the same time, you wish you could’ve been the one behind the wheel, just to get here faster.

“I’m here to see Kats—um, Dynamight,” you say in a rush. “Dynamight…I meant Dynamight.”

The woman at the front desk looks at you with a raised eyebrow, already typing away at her screen as she blandly says, “Valid ID, please.”

You curse under your breath, fumbling through your purse for your wallet, and then fumbling through your wallet for your ID like your hands suddenly don’t belong to your body anymore.

When you practically shove it toward her in your haste, she takes it too calmly for your racing heart and inspects it for a moment. Then looks at her screen. Then back to your ID. Then she types for what feels like an agonizing eternity before she finally hands the card back and says, “Fourth floor, room twelve. He’s stable, but he has some serious injuries that they’ll have to monitor and heal slowly due to his stamina—”

You’re already moving before she finishes. You’re bolting toward the elevators, heart slamming so hard it hurts. The ride up to the fourth floor is torturously slow. When you finally get out of the elevator, you’re halfway down the hallway before you even register the security guard stepping in front of you.

“ID.” Again. Of course. You suppose it is a good thing security is tight for the pro hero unit—even if it does add to your piling weight of anxiety. When you clumsily pull it yet again, he checks it for another cruelly long stretch of time, glancing between the card and the device in his hands before finally saying, “Go ahead.”

You’re already moving.

By the time you reach room twelve, your hands are shaking so badly you can barely hold yourself still. For a moment, you just stand there, frozen. Would Katsuki even want to see you? Is he fed up with you? Would you just make his already terrible night even worse?

You aren’t sure.

You don’t know why you’re in the predicament you’re in right now. You don’t know how you got here or why things escalated the way that they did. You don’t know what you do wrong to push his buttons the way you seem to, to upset him the way that he gets. You think you’re doing the right thing—that you’re doing what’s right for both of you—but somehow, you always seem to mess it up. Always seem to say the wrong thing. Always seem to ruin whatever good the two of you have managed to build between you.

But you love Katsuki, and if nothing else, you know that he loves you too, and you need to see him. So you force down the bile in your throat and push the door open. The first thing you notice when you see him is the bandages wrapped tightly around him. One arm heavily secured in a cast. Gauze lining his shoulder and collarbone that makes your stomach drop in a sick, immediate lurch. Machines hum quietly beside him, keeping track of his vitals.

You never see Katsuki hurt like this—he’s always been practically invincible when he’s on the field, always taking things down before they have a chance at even touching him. And then your brain, cruelly, supplies the thought: but he is not invincible. Not always.

“Katsuki,” you whisper, eyes already welling with tears.

He’s looking at you the second the door opens—but his tired eyes soften with relief, just a little, when they land on you. “You came,” he says, voice rough.

“Of course I came,” you say, sharper than you mean to. How could he think you wouldn’t? How far have you let things go that he could genuinely believe you wouldn’t show up for him? “What the hell happened?”

He sighs, almost embarrassed. “Just…work ‘n shit.”

You sniffle, and he lifts his good arm toward you. That’s all it takes. 

You’re at his side in an instant, squeezing into the small space beside him on the hospital bed and curling yourself against his chest. You’re careful not to disturb any of the machines surrounding him, but you can’t stop thinking about how wrong this feels. How you shouldn’t be the one being comforted right now. How he’s the one lying in a hospital bed, yet somehow he’s still the one rubbing your back and soothing your tears.

“I thought you were gonna die,” you sob. “I—I saw the rubble, and Kiri stopped texting back and...and I thought you got crushed.”

“M’not fuckin’ dying, babe,” he huffs, sounding mildly offended. “A stupid building isn’t killin’ me. That’s a dumbass way to go.”

“You don’t know that,” you shake your head. “You can’t promise that.”

“Listen—”

“And I was sitting there watching the news and thinking the last conversation I ever had with you was that stupid fight,” you continue, looking up at him with trembling lips.

His eyes soften. “I know, but—”

“And I don’t care about the argument anymore,” you say, your voice shaking harder now. “I don’t care about being right or winning or being apologized to first—I should’ve texted you, you’re right. You...you probably felt like I didn’t care, but I do. I care so much, and I love you more than anything.”

You take a breath that does absolutely nothing to steady you. Katsuki is trying to wipe your tears away with one weak arm.

“I love you too—”

“I just want you to talk to me,” you sob. “I know I’m annoying, and I nag and scold and get onto you all the time, and I’m trying not to do that as much—really, I am! But I just...I wish you’d tell me things, too. Y’know? I am the one person you’re supposed to do that with, Katsuki,” you add, your voice cracking all over again. “But sometimes, it feels like I’m the last person you want to do that with.”

His expression tightens. “That’s not—”

“And I want us to work because I’ve never liked someone so much—it stresses me out. Because I love you and I want this to work, and the thought of it not working makes me so anxious I wanna throw up, and...and you act like talking to me is harder than getting crushed under a fucking building—”

“Baby.” He squeezes your cheeks together and silences you as he pulls your face closer, pressing a kiss to your puckered lips. “You talk a lot, y’know that?”

You huff at him immediately, tears spilling down your cheeks even faster. “That is so rude, given the—”

“I’m sorry about the fight,” he interrupts. You pause, and he takes the opportunity to keep going, despite looking painfully uncomfortable the entire time. “And for...walkin’ out ‘n shit. That was fucked up. I don’t talk to you like I should. You’re right. S’weird for me, and I hate it sometimes. I don’t know how to just...say shit like you do. Okay?” He sighs. “But m’gonna try more because you’re right—I need to talk to you. But you gotta get outta your head so much—” He gives your forehead a small jab with his finger. You sniffle and swat his hand away with a watery scowl. It earns the faintest grin from him. “We’re gonna work,” he says. “’Cause we do. That’s all there is to it, okay?”

“But—”

“No buts,” he grumbles. “My ribs hurt. Jus’ let me be right.”

A watery laugh escapes you as you shake your head, cupping his bandaged face between your hands. “You’re really annoying sometimes, Katsuki.”

“Yeah,” he rolls his eyes. “So are you. Still love you, though.”

“Me too,” you breathe, leaning down to kiss the tip of his nose. “Love you so much.”

He pulls you back down against his chest again, rubbing your back as you listen to the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear. You trace small patterns into his shirt. He presses a kiss to the top of your head. And things are okay—they are not beyond repairing. You’ll inevitably annoy him tomorrow, and he’ll annoy you the day after that, but you’ll still work. You will still find a way to keep things good the way they always are.

After a few quiet moments, he mumbles, “Hey.” When you look up, he says, “When m’all healed and shit, you gotta force me to go grab ramen with my old man. On me.”

────────────────────────

Katsuki waits almost a month after being discharged from the hospital before he finally makes the call. He’s been trying to stall it for as long as possible, but Katsuki, even at the tender age of six, has always been a man (or boy) of his word. He’s standing alone on the balcony outside his apartment with his phone pressed to his ear, wondering if it’s too late to hang up before the call goes through.

It rings twice. Then his father’s voice is as gentle and cheery as ever. “Katsuki!” Masaru answers immediately. “Hi, son!”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey.”

His father laughs. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I got discharged, didn’t I? S’been a whole month.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re sounding just like your usual self,” his father says. Katsuki can hear the smile in his voice. “What’s up?”

“Nothin’.”

“Katsuki, you never call for just nothing.”

He groans, rubbing a hand over his face with a sigh—it’s now or never. He can’t keep stalling, and Katsuki is, and always has been, a man of his word. If he promised his father ramen over a stupid bet he made twenty years ago, then he’s going to get his father that ramen. Even if it kills his pride. Demolishes it, even.

“Listen, I was thinkin’...maybe we could grab food sometime.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Masaru hums. “Let me ask your mother when she’s free and—”

“Not the hag. S’just you,” he cuts in, rubbing at his temple.

“Oh?” Masaru sounds amused. “Well, okay. I suppose it’d be nice to spend some time as just father and son. What kind of food?”

Katsuki pinches the bridge of his nose. Just say it. Just fuckin’ say it, his mind urges. Just rip the bandage off and say it. Say it. Say the damn word—he grits his teeth and forces out, “Ramen.”

There’s a pause on the other end. The silence stretches on long enough that Katsuki’s eye twitches.

“Ramen, huh?” Masaru finally says, and the way he says it makes a vein all but pop in Katsuki's forehead.

“Old man,” he says warningly, “don’t push it—”

He’s cut off when Masaru starts laughing. “I was wondering when this day would come.”

“Hah? You really kept that shit in your head for twenty years?”

“Of course I did. It was one of my favorite conversations I’ve ever had with you.”

“Why? ‘Cause you love bein’ fuckin’ right all the time?” Katsuki grumbles.

His father’s voice softens as he says fondly, “No. I just wanted you to find someone who made you as happy as your mother makes me. That’s all I wanted, son—for you to understand what being happy is like.”

The conversation is getting oddly sentimental, taking a turn that makes his chest feel strange, and his heart feel far too fragile. He hasn’t felt like this since after the war, and he doesn’t intend to sit with it any longer. So he mutters, “I still think Mom’s annoying. She yelled at me last week, so she never fuckin’ changes.”

Masaru laughs again. “No, she doesn’t.” Then, after a moment, “So, how does Saturday sound for some ramen?”

“Yeah. Whatever.”

“Will my son be paying?”

Katsuki regrets this call more than anything when he says, “Yes. I’m fuckin’ paying.”

“You know, son,” Masaru murmurs, making Katsuki pause, “I’m glad you get it now. You’ve grown into a fine man.”

Katsuki swallows hard. He turns, eyeing you as you sleep soundly in your shared bed, hugging his pillow to make up for his absence. He can only hope that his father’s words are true—that he is a fine man to you, the way his father always has been to his mother. His eyes never leave your figure as he mutters, “Yeah, well…s’not like I had a bad example or somethin’.”