doesnotshine

I’m still learning about depression

I was a year fine, just living and enjoying life and then from nowhere

Depressed, don't want to go out, eat, or leave my bed, just feel like crying and rolling myself into a ball

I think that now it finally sunk in

We are over

Well I gess when you have been so broken already

You think you can never be broke down to pieces again

I was wrong

It’s so hard for me to let people in

I was hurting so bad when I met you

You suddenly made me feel good again

But I gess it was my mistake to expect it to last

It was my mistake to not have foreseen this

When I met you I was sad now I’m torn apart

And you are not making it easier to me when you keep talking to me

Making me hopeful

Just so I can break this dreams on my own and be left in the dark alone

Again

Pelo jeito eu amava você muito mais do que eu achava,

Muito mais do que eu esperava

Você me deixou pelos seus motivos

E eu fiquei olhando o espaço vazio e sentindo toda a falta do que eu esperava que estivesse ali

O pior é você achar por algum motivo que eu deveria me sentir grata por ter feito isso comigo

Porque?

Você me deixou, fez a decisão sozinho, não me deixou participar, não me deixou tomar parte

Você quebrou meu coração

Me deixou pra montar esse mosaico

We were hugging on his bed, his face gently resting in my shoulder and he calls my name. My heart skips a beat because I love the sound of my name on his lips, then I make a sound sinalizing that I was listening and he tells me ‘I think I love you’, his voice was weak, I think he was afraid of my reaction..

When he told me this I couldn’t believe it so I could just say ‘really?’, in retrospective it was a lousy answer. I just wanted him to look at me, I wanted to look in his face and be sure that it was true, so I distanced me a bit so I could look at his face and well it was written on his face..