Note To Self...

Just woke up at 3am in a cold sweat having a panic attack and almost threw up. It's been so long. Why now?

Can someone tell me why I still get scared whenever someone tells me they need to talk to me. 90% percent of the time is absolutely nothing. Yet here I am at 34 racking my brain for something I might have done wrong to get this, "hey can we talk" text. I think it's the people pleaser in me that doesn't want anyone mad at me.

My cat just broke my TV. I don't know what to do. I love him but I just don't think I can do this anymore.

Another night of me crying as I sweep up a broken Christmas decoration my cat has destroyed. I really don't know what to do with him anymore.